We Are All Home Together for the Summer

I know what you are going through. My husband has been laid off before and it's hard because he wanted to work an dlooked everywhere for a job and then got depressed because he couldn't find anything. And as far as home improvement projects you can't do much when finances are tight. My husband is working part-time right now because it's slow where he works so he's home 4 days a week and part of me thinks it's great because we have time to do things but going places requires money, even free places require gas money to get there.
I can't offer any great advice but can lend a sypathetic ear. maybe one of you could get a part-time job for awhile and it would give you something to look forward to(a purpose for getting out of the house). I work part-time and look forward to going to work because I feel like I'm just not hanging around the house al day.
Good luck.

What does your husband do? It sounds like he IS bored and needs something to keep him busy. Is he looking for a job? Can he take a class in his field this summer to make himself more marketable? What about volunteer work?

I think all the responses have great info. I do want to add, that we are getting out of a similar situation and my husband's self esteem took a toll. I found that with his income not being steady, he felt he was not towing the line and measuring up. We talked about how WE made the decision for me to stay home and raise our kids and 'run' the day to day stuff. We discussed the possibilty of me going to work part tiem or full time and it was not what he wanted. He searched around and found a job through friends. The resume writing process and interviewing process was HUGE for him. Not only had ne not really done the process but he had not finished his college degree (by a semester....mother passed away and he let siblings finish college with reamining funds). So, doing his resume really showed how much he knew and had for a skill set. We talked baout how good it feels to see it all out on paper, all the hard work and efforts of the things doen each day.
Now, he loves his job, works out at the office building gym, is planning on going on to finish his degree (we had talked about it for years), and likes having the steady income, we are saving in a 401k again and there seems to be a new light. It is so hard with this economy. Job security is not what it used to be. As for the kids and your summer, there are great things to do on very little money. Kite flying at the park or beach, scavenger hunts at local parks, bike trails in many towns and cities, crafts with recycled materials. I have taken to the supermarkets recipes on how to prepare good meals for a lot less...it all helps....Good Luck and I am sure you will all presevere with all the advise given.

Hi P. - Where do you live and what does your husband do?? My husband owns a company and is looking for some mature, hardworking help with a work ethic and integrity....

Hi P. ... my name is P. and I am also a teacher! Our similarities end there however... I am a 37 year old single mom of a beautiful 8 year old daughter! I am writing to first say that it is completely normal for your husband to be coming up with little projects to do ... even if they don't seem practical. His mind must be filled with thoughts of finances ... and we all know how men feel like they have to be the one providing for the family. My father and ex-husband went through the same kinds of behaviors when they were laid off. It didn't seem to matter how many times I told them that it wasn't their fault and that they would be working again... it was just this internal feeling of worthlessness for not "working" each day. "To Do" list sent my ex-husband right over the edge... it seemed like he would fill his day doing the impractical things and tell me he didn't have time to do the "To Do" list! I know it is difficult for all of you involved. The solution for my father was to support me in my business as an independent consultant with Arbonne International (arbonne.com) ... it was the answer for him as he got out and talked to people and at the same time was making some retail "right now" money. I gave him catalogs and samples to hand out... he followed up within a few days and made his $ that way. I would encourage you and your husband to look at the compensation plan that arbonne offers. In this day and age when job security is almost non-exsistant... and savings are at an all time low... and retirement/social security is not going to be enough... it may be a way for you both to have a plan B without having to pay a huge start up cost. Honestly... you can essentially start a "business" with arbonne for $29.00 and put some money into catalogs and samples (very low cost ... I think catalogs are 10 pk. for %15.00). Anyway... I can answer any questions for you if this sounds like a Plan B solution for you and your family. Whatever you decide... good luck!

HI P.- I don't have a lot of advice to offer, sorry to say. but I wonder if making a schedule will help you all. Get up at a specific time each day (i.e. set the alarm), and have planned in advance what you, your husband and son will be doing together. It can even involve chores, such as weeding, mowing the lawn, doing laundry, shopping, job searching, etc. That way everyone knows what they are to do, and the days may not seem to drag on with the stress of what you "should" be doing. Perhaps make a list of things that you need to do, but have been putting off-painting? organizing your recipes? cleaning out the attic? Put them down on the list, and check them off, and then you'll feel like you've gotten some things done.
Some of those things can be father-son things, and some mother-son, and some the entire family.
Good luck. My husband was job searching for only two weeks, and I was very stressed, so I can't imagine your situation, but try to make the best of it.

I am also a teacher, my husband owns his own business, so he is always working...we have extensive flower and vegetable gardens that keep us and our kids very busy. We spend much of our summer canning, freezing and baking filling our freezer and pantry for winter so not to waste any of our home grown food. If you have room for this it is really fun for the kids, my little one helps me water, weed, re-plant, pick produce, etc. Great learning experience for kiddos. Just an idea!

Hi P.,

You need to get out the calender and write down what you are going to do with your son. For instance, on Tuesday we are going to the beach. Next, Wednesday we are going to the zoo. etc. If you have a friend with a small child call her and schedule a few things in advance and put them on the calender!

Let your husband know your plans and don't feel guilty that you are leaving him behind. Believe me he probably wants time alone as much as you do! If he knows when you are leaving and where you are going then he will also be able to make plans for those times.

There are many free or inexpensive outdoor things to do with little ones. Even a ride on the train to Boston to ride the Swan boats is a big adventure and pack a picnic! The common has a great park and a sprinkler, so a change of clothes is a must! The free parents magazines they provide in supermarkets etc. list numerous acitvities, farms, etc.

Go out and enjoy summer with your son, but even though it seems summer should be relaxed and unplanned, if you do not plan in fun your days will be consumed with mundane tasks and September will be here before you know it. Oh, yeah I live near a small airport which has a luncheonette (like something from Bogart!) When my girls were very small we loved driving over for lunch and watch the planes land and take off. We would imagine the places they would travel to. Have a great rest of the summer!

J. L.

P.S. After reading your other responses I just had to come back and edit. It sounded like you and your husband were just tripping over each other and that his main concern was finding employment and yours was enjoying the summer with your son. That is understandable, as other responders have written your husband will have a very difficult time relaxing and having fun while he has no job, and you have the right to enjoy your summer with your little boy. My suggestion was that often times we just hang around out of guilt towards our husbands when we would both be happier with a little to space to do what we want (need) to do. Best Wishes!

There's been some great ideas already listed and I'll just add a quick 2 cents as my family was in the "same boat" as you at one time...keeping a schedule and routine really helps people deal with being laid off or out of work. Its easy to get depressed or in a funky mood if you don't have a routine. Also, a project that you all can work on, or be a part of, can really bond people together. For instance, your husband might like constructing a chicken coop and as a family you can get a few hens...GREAT opportunity for your son to bond with Daddy and learn caring for animals. The excitement of getting eggs everyday is priceless!!

I had to laugh as I read your post, only because my husband and I are both teachers and we are all home for the summer too! I have two girls, ages 3 and 1. Anyway, my husband isn't out of work, but during the summer, he drives me totally insane if he doesn't have projects lined up. This summer, he is building a tree house for a family, fixing another person's stairs, replacing a door for a neighbor, you get the idea. I say let your husband do all the things he wants to around the house to keep him busy so he stays out of your hair. You might even get things done you've been wanting done for a while??!! Also, I suggest having him schedule "look for a job" time every day. Finding a job IS a full-time job, I think. He should take a couple of hours daily to answer ads, look on line, and make calls. Don't worry, he wants to be out of your hair too, I believe, he just needs the chance to get there. In the meantime, don't be afraid to work together to tidy up the house. And tell him you will deal with your son's toys/playroom if you prefer. I understand where you are coming from - it's hard to go from full-time teaching to basically no working!! It's great but it's a transition in the summer then in the fall again. Enjoy the rest of your summer!!!