We have a 5 month old girl who is still not sleeping well for naps or at night unless someone is holding her. Here is the history: from the day she was born, she did not sleep laying down in a bed (even in the hospital!). She would only sleep if someone held her or if she was sitting in a vibrating boppy chair. When we laid her in bed she would wake up within 5 minutes if not immediately. She has also never burped well, so gas has been an issue. We can control it fairly well now with my diet and gripe water when it's bad.
As of now, she will nap in her swing (sometimes) for no more than an hour, but will not nap laying down in bed. At night, she usually falls asleep between 7 and 8, my husband holds her until between 11 and 12 (she wakes up crying almost every night between 10 and 11) and then she sleeps in bed for anywhere from 15 minutes to 3 hours on a good night. After about 4 am, she is up frequently with gas. When she is waking up during the night, she is only hungry about 50% of the time and the rest is either gas or wanting to be held. She isn't too cold. She is swaddled (we have tried without) and sleeps in a bedside co-sleeper that is set up as a bassinet right now (we thought our movement at night might be jostling her co-sleeper too much). She loves the vacuum noise so we have a white noise machine right next to her bed. When she wakes up at night we either walk/rock her back to sleep or I nurse her then lay her down.
Basically, I am getting 2-3 hours of sleep at a time if I'm lucky and need a solution soon before my teacher husband goes back to school! We are mostly attachment parenting believers so please don't tell me to put her in her crib and let her cry it out. We are also not really interested in the Ferber method at her age and she is still too young to sleep on her stomach (although she is close to rolling both ways). We have read the "No Cry Sleep Solution" and are trying to implement those ideas, but it is hard when she won't nap (which is key to good nighttime sleep according to the book) and won't lay by herself.
Anyone know the miracle answer? :)
Maybe if it is her tummy, sleeping reclined in a bouncy seat would help. I haven't heard there's anything terribly wrong with that--anyone?
Have you ever given her a tisane (dip the bag once or twice for 15 seconds in hot water) of chamomile tea for the gas? Let tisane cool and when she wakens give her a few sips from a bottle. That might settle her down again.
Babies get tisanes children past the toddler years and all others get tea.
What comes to mind when reading what you wrote is reflux. Google infant reflux and see what you think. Two of my 3 kids had it.
Does your pedi think it's GERD? Our son same story- Don't think it was gas but SILENT reflux. Our son didn't sleep for more than 2 hours maybe 3 hours at a time till he was 5 months old we held him 24/7 ( we took shifts) it was brutal! Now he sleeps 10 at night 2-3 nap. He had to grow out of it.
We used a wedge- I can get you the web site to the most awesome wedges- ( some you strap them on so they can't fall at night) we used an antacid for babies (MD RX) we used probiotics (we had them shipped ) THe only ones our doc would recom. We fed him upright! we held him for about 45 mins before putting him down for a nap on the wedge.
If it's gas then the old mylicon, sweet potatoes, gripe water, no gassy foods and the best one that no one wants to hear
TIME;-)
I have more suggestions if you think it's GERD- just email and I'll get the websites- I researched everything- just for some sleep.
I used Unisom or something stronger to help me nap when he did. It wasn't too strong to not let me hear him cry.
He slept in a crib, if we put him down- but really he slept in our arms in a rocker for 5 months.
Babies that don't sleep more than a few hours don't need the cry it out method! They need their parents to help them with their discomfort. ( Just my opinion)
L
HERE ARE SOME WEB SITES:
PROBIOTICS-
http://www.childrensprobiotics.com/faq.aspx
WEDGES:
Some insurance will pay for it.
http://www.pollywogbaby.com/cat--Infant-Positioning-Produ...
Here are the diagnostic codes by product:
Pollywog Feeding Wedge | 530.81;E1399
Pollywog Changing Station Incliner | 530.81;E1399
Tucker Crib Sling | 530.81; E-0621
Tucker Wedge with Sling | 530.81;E1399
Tucker Slings for Wedge | 530.81; E-0621
Acid Reflux Pillow | 530.81;E1399
Comfy Lift Bed | 530.31;1399
RESQ Wedge | 530.31;1399
Feel free to email ____@____.com or phone 866-332-0958
Hope you get some sleep;-)
Your daughter might have acid reflux. You can either talk to her ped. about it and see if he/she will prescribe an acid reducer, or better yet, go to a naturopath.
Both of my kids had reflux. My daughter was a silent refluxer (didn't spit up, and arched while nursing with lots of popping off) and my son spit up from day one and neither liked being flat on their backs.
You might try to prop up one end of her bed or mattress, so her head is higher. This helped a bit for my son, along with getting him on probiotics. I tried the prescription route with my daughter. It helped, but only a little. She didn't outgrow it after about a year like most, so I took her to a Naturopath. Wow, what a difference in a very short time. With my son, I took him to the Naturopath and she put him on a probiotic at 2 weeks old. Made a huge difference for him, too.
I totally understand the lack of sleep issue. Don't forget to nap when you can and I found that if I went to sleep when my daughter went to sleep at night, that I did much better the next day.
Good luck to you, hope you can get some winks.
D.
My daughter was the same way with sleep. From the day she was born! The only peace we found was when we let her sleep in our bed. I was able to sleep with her coddled in the crook of my arm and she let us sleep almost all night long. She was over 2 before we could get her to stay asleep alone for even a few hours. When we gave up trying to change her, we found peace and instead learned how to compromise with her. At 5 months old, you should be able to safely sleep together with no problem. For naps, give yourself permission to sleep with her, or to let her take her whole nap in the vibrating chair or swing. We also got my daughter to nap alone if we laid her in a basket of warm laundry. Odd, I know, but I think the warmth made more of a difference than the secure swaddling.
My son, while a wonderful sleeper, was very difficult to burp. We found that we absolutely had to burp him until we got a good successful burp or he would get tummy aches and throw up later. Sometimes (especially at night), it took over an hour. Two things we found helped the burp come up easier. One was holding him while sitting on an exercise ball and bouncing until he burped. The other was to sit him on my knee and bounce my knee while patting his back. Not the gentle up and down kind of bouncing. The kind of bounce like you are trying to settle flour or sand in a jar. It is not a smooth bounce, but almost like just dropping your leg and letting your heal hit the ground. That usually forced the bubble out very well. Just be sure to hold on to her neck so her head doesn't flop around.
i have no miracle answer. i have two kids under the age of 2 and a half. my daughter (the 2 and a half year old) slept great from 3 weeks, till about 8 months ago when we moved her to a bed. the pediatrician told me to lock her door when she slept after we had a ton of different not-sleeping well issues. it sucked the first two or three nights, and then she (and the rest of the house) slept better!
then my son who is about 16 months old just started sleeping through the night at 10 months. i kept waking up with him at about 3am cause he was skinny and i was convinced he was hungry. the pediatrician told me i was crazy (in a good way) and told me to get rid of my monitor and that he would teach himself to sleep through the night in a week. it took him two days. i know you said you DIDN'T want to hear me tell you to let your baby cry it out, but i just wanted to tell you what worked for me. i read the 'no cry sleep solution book' and that just didn't work for us at all.
your baby will not hate you if you let her cry a bunch. but no matter what you decide to do- her not sleeping is not a reflection of poor parenting on your part. i don't know if it affects you personally, but i was SO OFFENDED when my kids wouldn't sleep, cause i thought i was doing something wrong and that i was a bad mom. something you will discover after you overcome this problem (and you will!) is that kids are crazy! good luck.
As with Katherine S, we could have the same baby. My little one also had acid reflux---this gave her terrible gas. A lot of leg exercises during the day and before bed helped(i.e., bicycling her leg, crunches, and lite tummy massage). You could also try it when she wakes at night. She also slept mostly sitting up until about a year. We were also on medication but it didn't help with the gas---even meds for the gas! I was told to stop all dairy and wheat from my diet since we were exclusively breast fed---I did so for 5 months and it didn't make a difference. In the end, we had to just wait it out and let her digestive system mature more. It really started getting better at 9 months. She is still a gassy toddler and light sleeper but it's 100% better now. She still has some trouble eating things her same age friends do. We wait a few months then her digestive system can handle them. It will get better!! It also sounds like you have a "high needs baby". Very trying for the parent but that kind of child grows up to be the best intuitive adult. Have you tried sleeping in a recliner with her in a Ergo(or like) carrier so she is basically on her tummy to relieve gas and securely strapped to you. This saved me when I was not getting much sleep. I still only got it in short periods---but more of it. Good luck!!
Get rid of the swaddle, this can cause hip development problems at this age and lose the attachment parenting method. Let her cry it out now because as she gets older they get more savvy and then it is impossible. Now is your opportunity.
Have you heard of mattress wrapping? Helped me feel more secure with having my little ones sleep on their tummies.
I get the concept of AP, and felt that it was "the only way to go" but after struggling with sleep issues for MONTHS with our firstborn... the Ferber method (our super, duper, absolutely last resort) worked in 3 nights and totally changed my opinion about AP. I still think it's a wonderful way to feel connected and "needed" by your child, but I felt like my husband and I were total slaves to the method, and when we backed off a little-- our whole family readjusted and was much lessed stressed! It was just what worked for us. It was a matter of "letting go" of a concept we thought was the end-all-be-all and learning that there is no "blanket" parenting method that works for every family. Now, with two kids, we do a mix of styles and it works for us...
I also agree with other moms that you should talk to your pediatrician about digestive issues.
PS--The "No cry sleep solution" was somewhat beneficial, but every time we hit a milestone or whatnot, we always ended up at square one.
I co-sleep with my daughter at night and for the longest time should would only nap in my arms or occasionally in the swing. What I ended up doing to get her to nap in her pack and play was swaddle her, rock her to sleep, and lay her in the bouncy in a dark room with white noise (a loud fan). I put the bouncy seat in the pack and play (with the bed on the lowest setting for safety) and would leave it on vibrate or bounce. Then gradually, each time I put her down, I would shut the bouncy off 5 minutes or so earlier until she was only having it on for a few minutes. This way she was used to her pack and play in a sense. Eventually I put her down in her pack and play without the bouncy seat. If she wakes up when I lay her down, I put my hand on her chest until she falls asleep (as long as she is still calm and sleepy). I bought some blackout curtains that keep the room nice and dark and I always leave something that smells like me hanging on the pack and play or put her swaddling blanket in my shirt in the morning before her nap so that it has my scent. I hope you can get some rest soon!
No real miracles for you-I just wanted to say that we did the "no cry sleep solution" when our son was a baby. I remember sitting outside his room crying some nights or plugging my ears with my ipod while in the shower just to drown out his cries. But everynight was better then the previous and after just a few days he was sleeping on his own. He is now 3 and we NEVER have a problem with bedtime-unless he is sick. He just lays down and goes right to sleep on his own. I really believe that book helped us and I just wish you the best!
She's not going to sleep at night until there's a solid daytime sleeping/self soothing routine. I would try to find an object she can self soothe with like a small stuffed animal, a blanket, perhaps a shirt you wear. There is not miracle answer. You have to find what works for you and your baby. If you really want to teach baby how to self soothe there is likely to be some fussing involved. I am not suggesting a 'cry it out', but at the same time it isn't a bad thing to let baby cry a bit. THat is how baby expresses frustration. Is frustration a bad or invalid emotion? Certainly not. And everyone has to experience it from time to time. If you really want her to sleep at night get her to self soothe during the day. A bit of fussing alone followed by your swift and reassuring visit that lets her know she is ok. Try avoid picking her up or abandoning your approach once you have started. If you switch tactics, or give up and give in she'll know that's what you're going to do... and she'll try even harder to get you to pick her up next time.
I had three babies with gas/colic that would not sleep. I went through my diet and dropped one thing at a time until I found that dairy products (milk, icecream, butter, lactose etc.), peanut butter and mangoes were causing the gas. Once I cut out these from my diet the gas got better and they were able to sleep better. The other thing was letting them sleep on their stomachs. My son was continually waking up because of being on his back. He would act like he was falling and wake up. There is security for them when they are on their stomachs. You probably didn't want to hear that, but it is the truth.
Good Luck. Sleep is sooooo important when you have young children. Please reach out for help if you need it. I had to learn the hard way.
~G.
Have you spoken to your pediatrician about GERD (acid reflux)? That was the problem for my daughter, who could be your daughters twin with respect to symptoms. The solution for her was when an occupational therapist gave us a foam wedge which we strapped her into to sleep so that she was sitting up. MAGIC!!! We put it in the pack-n-play next to our bed at first, then later in her crib. She slept in it until she was a year old and the GERD subsided. This is probably why her swing and chair are working at least a little for you (ours did too).
NOTE - the wedges you can buy cheaply at your usual stores are not sufficient. This was more like a seat with straps and bumpers...we had tried the store bought ones and she just rolled right of them, even swaddled. I did see a comparable one online at one point, but it was very expensive.
She was also on meds, but the sleep wedge was the magic wand with respect to sleeping longer.
Good luck!
K.
GREAT responses you've gotten. Mine are quick.
Like a couple other posters, my son too, was a marathon burper. Minimum half an hour. Up to an hour. I used this time as "self time" and read a book while burping.
We didn't use it, but several of my friends have this with amaaaaaazing success:
Good Luck!
I do not have any good advice for you but just wanted to tell you you're not alone. I have a just turned 2 girl and almost 4 month old boy. The sleep pattern you are describing sounds like my son. I felt better after reading what you wrote because I thought I was the only one whose baby did this. I will read peoples responses to you for help too :-)
Well, first of all you need to deal with her digestive issues. You indicated that you are aware that your diet may have an impact on her gas. Great!!! Have you tried taking milk/dairy out of your diet? This could cause her problems. As well as any spicy or foods that would cause you gas: ham, broccoli, cabbage, brussel sprouts, cauliflower, to mention just a few things. Have you consulted your pediatrician and told him/her about her inability to sleep laying down and not being able to burp? This could be a reflux issue that needs attention. It's uncomfortable, it hurts and the warmth of your body eases the cramping. Taking that into consideration, you might try warming a bucky pillow (pillow filled with wheat hulls or any pillow filled with rice) in the microwave and using it as a warm prop to sleep her on her side.
Even at 5 months, many babies don't sleep through the night and a parent's sleepless nights are not over, yet. Every child is unique and it's not easy some times. These days will pass, but remember she's uncomfortable and crying is her only way of conveying what's happening. She's not getting the rest she needs to grow and develop either, so see your pediatrician. You might want to try simethicone drops, they help with gas as well. But again, go to the dr. Try the warm pillow or water bottle in lieu of the body warmth. And babies don't read books so she doesn't know what you expect her to do. Take your cues from her, respond to her needs and life will get better. Again, she's only 5 months old and she's hurting.
The only suggestion I have is to limit the amount of day time napping you let her have. Keep her up if you have to jump up and down with her. The theory being that if she is tired enough, she will sleep longer at night.
Good luck.
Wow. This is the kind of thing that makes parenting so physically difficult. I have never tried it, but have heard great things about craniosacral therapy for babies. It's gentle body manipulation and there is a free clinic you can go to if you sign-up http://www.carolgray.com/carolgray/Free_Infants_Clinic.html
Also, I've been reading "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" and I like some of the things she has to say. I have knee-jerk reactions to her tone some of the time (flippant) and how she's not a strong defender of breastfeeding... just to warn you. But she talks a lot about reading your baby's signals (very attachment) and working with the baby you got (for instance some babies are just fussy and needy) so it might be worth it to pick up a cheap copy and see if you read anything that helps.
Good luck. My son slept terribly from 5 months to about 2 years, but he's almost 3 now and we're finally in a good space sleep-wise. Remember that many other moms are with you in the middle of the night :)
We had the same problem and our solution was - the coop sleeping. We all sleep now and we all sleep well. My son just needs to touch me when he sleeps. I'm sure at some point he will move out of our bed. Untill than if he needs me, I will be there for him. Good luck!
Hi Kim
I understand your situation. We too practice AP (we co-sleep) and no CIO. Unfortunately, my son didn't really start sleeping through the night (6+ consecutive hours) until he was almost 12 months. I just remember how tired I always felt. As a SAHM, I often took a nap in the afternoon with him (I know with 2 that it much more difficult).
My husband would sleep in another room 2 or 3 times a week so that he was able to work the next day. Saturday nights I often tried to sleep away from the baby at least for as long as possible (I was still night nursing until 12 months) so that I got one good night's sleep.
As you know with your first, it does get better as they mature and their sleep patterns regulate a bit more.
Hang in there!
Have you tried sleeping with her? I have co-slept with all my kids and thats the only way Im able to get sleep. I nursed them to sleep and they fell asleep between me and my husband or me and the side rail on the bed. When baby wakes to nurse, usually just moving and grunting, I snuggle close, re-attach baby and go back to sleep.
I am currently nursing my 1 year old daughter and co-sleeping with her. For naps, we lay down and nurse in mommys bed til she falls asleep and then I get up. When she was your baby's age, she slept a lot in the sling against me. This way my hands were still free to take care of my older kids, clean, etc.
I nursed my boys until they were 2-3 years old, night nursing until they were almost 2. Obviously this doesnt work for everyone but we slept better this way. At around age 2, it took a week to night wean them and after that they slept through the night. Then we made the fairly smooth transition to a big boy bed (With my first, I had to lay down with him for 15-30 minutes every night for a couple months)
My boys, now 5 and 8, occasionally sneak into our bed early in the morning, around 5 or 6 am, but otherwise have no trouble going to bed or sleeping through the night.
I'm telling you this because a lot of ppl will say that "you'll never get them out of your bed" or that "they need to learn to soothe themselves to sleep" My experience is that if you make those transitions when the child is ready with love and encouragement its not as difficult as we're led to believe. As you know, attachment parenting is not always the easiest route but the extra time and attention we give our kids when theyre young leads to confident, secure kids later on.
For information on safe co-sleeping and benefits to co-sleeping, check out James Mackenna's information on line at www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/rethinking.html
Good luck!
Sounds like classic reflux to me. It makes sleeping miserable, especially laying down flat. My son had it as a baby, and we got Zantac through a compounding pharmacy (they don't need to add all the alcohol to it that normal Zantac has). Call your pediatrician--you might be able to get a prescription over the phone and start immediately.
Kim, you poor thing! I totally understand and recommend two things that worked wonders for me and my son.
First, Colic Calm. It works waaaay better than gripe water and is all natural. www.coliccalm.com
Second, the amby baby hammock. My son could only nap for maybe 20min but when my husband found the amby baby hammock online after googling acid refux, we bought it and my son started napping 2-3 hour naps! Plus, he would sleep 10 hrs straight at night at 2.5 months old! It's true. The first time he slept that long my husband and I woke up and felt something was wrong because we felt so rested. Then we bolted up and looked at our son in the hammock, who was sleeping peacefully, and woke him up to see if he was alive. Haha! It was amazing and I even breastfed him too. He loves the hammock still.
www.ambybaby.com
Hope this helps you get the sleep you need.
My son was like this too. I found out that his problem was that I was nursing on both sides and he was getting too much fore milk (full of gas) and not enough hind milk (neutralizes the gas). Once this was resolved, it solved a lot of the gas problems. The main indicator is green poop.
Hi, Our baby (21 months)has always been gassy - from the moment she was born it seems. She has always been very wiggly and I often would do the leg exercises with her and those seemed to help wriggle out the gas. For a long time I think she would wake up because during her sleep she would not move and the gas would build and then she would hurt. Now she wiggles all night in her sleep. Recently, we gave her some prune juice/apple juice mix (from Gerber in little bottles) to help with some constipation and, as a secondary bonus, she was able to expel lots of gas very easily - I couldn't believe how easily it was for her. Your baby is young and I don't know if she would be ready for juice, base that decision on how you feel about giving baby food that mama doesn't make (at that age I still strictly breastfed). It may be something to try in the future though. Someone else suggested wearing your baby while she naps, I would recommend the Moby Wrap, it is quite versatile in the positions you can wear baby and you really can do things while baby sleeps. Good luck.
*Hugs* to you! Sleep deprivation is SO hard.
My son is still a terrible sleeper at 21 months and we have tried everything (no CIO for us either though-it's not right for us)under the sun. He would however, sleep laying down, if he was with one of us.
So, for your daughter, my thought was GERD too. There were several babies in my mom/baby group who had the "silent" version and the same issues with laying down/sleeping. Once they got a diagnosis and meds/wedges etc. they really changed their sleeping habits. She is not too old to have it either, usually it doesn't go away "on it's own," if they have it, until some time after a year.
I hope that helps. Other than that, all I can say is to keep trying different gentle approaches that don't make you feel uncomfortable. I may be a wuss, but even with the sleep deprivation, I'm still not willing to just leave my son to scream. You are not alone in trying to find the "magic" way to get your child to sleep without CIO.
One last idea for naps-does she sleep in the car/stroller? If it would be at all doable, you could try a walk/car ride at the same time every day, just to get her on a "schedule" of sorts, so at least she may start to get sleepy at the same time every day, which could help with the napping and lead to better sleep at night. My son actually sleeps fairly well for naps now (at least!) because I did this, just by going out for fun/errands, whatever and would come home at around the same time (a bit by accident) and now that is a lot more consistent, most of time anyway. ;)
GL to you!!
No miracle answer, just encouragement! I have one toddler, and we do our own kind of AP too, no CIO here. My sis has 5 kids, no AP, bottlefeeding and did try CIO, ferber, anything in the book with some of them. Result: all 6 children finally started sleeping through the night around 1 year old and that is what I hear from most of my mom friends too! I believe the "sleeping through at 6 months" is some sort of urban myth derived from a few rare, true cases (waking at midnight and crying for 15 minutes before falling back asleep does NOT count!).
Elevate her head by elevating the bed or mattress (no pillow) and see if that helps. IMO reflux is a new fad diagnosis, much like "colic", but if you are open to medication to can certainly talk to your doctor.
If she sleeps in a swing,bouncy, rocking chair just let her nap there... as long as she doesn't spend all day in it, that's perfectly fine.
Some babies like rocking motions or vibrations. Try a hammock or rig a vibration unit to the cosleeper if it doesn't have one. It is super-easy to do and don't feel bad about it! Our parents put us in running cars in the driveway or on top of the washer (NOT suggesting you try that!).Babies find movement and vibration soothing.
Anyways, what is most important is that you take care of yourself! Nap when your children nap! Do not do dishes/laundry/whatever! Lay down and get rest. The baby falls asleep at 7? Go to bed! Catch a few hours of sleep and take turns with your hubby.
I have been there and I went back to work FT at 6 mo, at which time my baby was still nursing twice a night. Just be consistent. I used to nurse or soothe her back to sleep and put her back down - sometimes 5 times- but she eventually got the routine and went for longer and longer stretches at night. That was around the same age as yours is. Sometimes they just have a bad night and nothing helps - it happens.
If you make a conscious effort to get extra rest by napping and going to bed early, you will feel SO MUCH better. IT will get better - just hang in there! (Remember when she'll be a teenager you'll have trouble getting OUT of bed:)
No miracle answers here, just encouragement! My 2 year old was similar but now sleeps 3-4 hours for a nap and 11-12 hours at night all on her own in her own bed in her own room. We're also AP parents and just followed her cues for when she was ready for all that. Have you tried wearing her during the day for naps? That might help her get the rest she needs but also allow you to have your hands free to get things done.
Hylands Colic Tablets! They are all natural and an absolute miracle! Try googling them to see what others are saying as well, they are fantastic, I used them for my daughter when she was a baby (now 6) she always had problems with gas and seemed like she never slept. My Aunt told me about them so I tried it and the difference was amazing. I only used the colic tablets until she was off the bottle, which seemed to be the cause of most of the problems.
