Wean 14 Mo Old Son from Breastfeeding

M.:

I could have written the exact request a few months ago!

We say it is imperative that you have some degree of help (it's much easier). First, you were on the right track when you said you wanted to do it SLOWLY. Get your daily routine down with naptimes, feeding times, bedtime routine, etc.( we found it helpful to write down what we normally did)

See if you can cut out the night nursings first, get a bear or lovey as a substitiute (oh, kudos on not letting him "cry it out"). I have no idea how often during the day that you are nursing, but see if you can get it down to 4 a day at predictable times. Then, slowly begin to eliminate each feeding.

LOTS of hugs and love from you...LOTS of reassurance, DO NOT SIT DOWN LOL...seriously...he will eagerly "assume the position" and give you that doe eyed look that is hard to resist.

Don't wear anything low cut, and maybe wear a sportsbra to bed to limit his accessability (I would wake up and see my dd nursing...how the heck did YOU get here? lol)

For every feeding you eliminate, add small snack and/or activity (it is good that he drinks milk....mine still gets huffy if I even offer it to her)

Consistency and empathy are key...drop a feeding every 3rd or 4th day. With us, the last feeding we kept was the morning feeding, and after her nap ("wake up"
feedings). When we eliminated her nursing to sleep, it really helped with her sleep problems we had had.

And lastly...don't beat yourself up...you DO DESERVE a good nights sleep...and you did a GREAT job nursing him this long...here is a ((hug)) and a EXCELLENT MOMMY award to you! :)

p.s Funny thing..we concieved this pregnancy the DAY that I was officially done nursing..am I ever again going to be able to have a cocktail? lol So if you are family planning, make sure you know you are more fertile when you stop.;)

Hello M.,

Why would you feel guilty about weaning him? If you are ready to wean, then now is the time. There are many cultures that continue to BF for much longer than ours, so if you're not ready, that's ok, too!

BE PROUD OF YOURSELF! You breastfed for FOURTEEN MONTHS. Many women don't/won't/can't, so you have already given him an amazing gift.

Just like many "baby" things, he will need to transition away from this eventually, as well. Try to help him find some other way to soothe himself (many excellent suggestions below.) You might be surprised how he will react... there have been times when I didn't think my daughter was ready for something (sleeping in her crib, giving up her paci, weaning, etc) and she did absolutely fine. I wish you all the best.

This is obviously a personal decision to wean, and we all have our own views, but there isn't anything wrong with continuing to breastfeed at this age. I personally feel like most kids will wean when they are ready. Don't take any of that in the wrong way...I'm not sure of your reasons to quit breastfeeding, I just wanted to also point out the other side of things.

Hi M.,

Contact your local La Leche League Respresentative.

www.llli.org

Good luck. D.

Hi M., i totally understand, my second was really hard to wean, she was 2 years and 2 months before she was completly weaned and only reason being i was pregnant with my third and it became painful. she used it as a comfort item just like other kids have pacifiers. i didnt mind it, it bothered my husband more than me. i did start with the nighttime feedings first around 18 months, i just took a sippy cup up at night filled with water and when she would wake up i would give her that, the first 3 nights were rough, but then she began to sleep without waking up. after that i did nap time at around 23 months, i just started putting on a movie that she liked, we read a book first and she sat on my lap and eventually after a week would go to sleep in minutes without a fuss. bedtime was the worst and that wasnt until i was around 12 weeks pregnant and i honestly stopped cold turkey, she was ok with it. for the first 2 months after stopping she would ask every once in a while, but now as i nurse my 3rd, she doesnt even remember being nursed. you have to be ready to do it and it doesnt have to happen over night mine took a good 8 months. others will say to quit cold turkey, but if you look at it from the kids point of view that is their comfort and unless you nurse your kids, its hard for others to understand. let me know how it goes!!

Hey!
To me, the nursing and co-sleeping are two separate issues.
He is PLENTY old to make it through the night without being hungry. That's just a matter of feeding him enough during the day, and if he is fully well stuffed, 3 months is usually old enough to sleep through the night.
His need to nurse during the night this long could be hunger and/or or it could be habit since he's used to sleeping with you.
You don't have to like the idea of crying it out, and you can keep him in bed with you. Just be sure you're doing this for him and not yourself. It's not cruel to let him learn to fall asleep securely on his own alone in his own bed with a full belly, and for you to get a full night sleep. The crying is temporary until he breaks the habit you formed. The longer you "help" him to sleep, the longer he will need help and the harder it will be to sleep on his own without waking. But you can take on that challenge whenever you choose.
As for nursing this long. GOOD JOB!!!!! Weaning is easy. just cut a breast feeding or two per day and replace them with food and whole milk until your done. Both my kids weaned in days, but there is no right or wrong amount of time. Just be sure he eats a lot, so you can stop feeding him at night. Good luck!

Hello i am in the same situation. My son just turned 2 and is still LOVES breastfeeding i too co sleep. Here is the problem that i didn't realize the night time feedings may cause cavities. I just found out my son has a cavity between his two front teeth. The dentist said it was the breast milk.I did not realize that was even possible. So please becareful they said to wipe his mouth out with gauze. Like that is even possible.:)Unfortunately I don't have the answer for weening if you get some replys i would love to know too. Best of Luck.

M.,

If you truly want to wean, then just do so gradually, cutting back on feedings. If you are doing so because you feel pressured...well, I would let him try to wean himself. 14 months still is so young! He can still benefit from the breastfeeding!

Do you have a local Nursing Mothers' Advisory Council? They are very helpful with issues like weaning.

I weaned my daughter at about 16 months, as I had an emergency situation and had to leave her for 3 days. I don't know why I did this instead of just pumping the few times a day that she nursed, but I did. (If I had it to do all over again, I would have pumped.) I was going to wean my son when he hit 2, but he weaned himself 3 weeks before his 2nd birthday. I liked it so much better when the weaning was done on HIS schedule!

Good luck!

Also, you need to do what works best for your family...but if you did not do the crying out method because YOU could not deal with it...just a word of caution...think about what's best for your son.... Parenting can be very difficult, but, ultimately, it's about what's best for the kids, not what's easy for us. NOT saying you need to have him stop co-sleeping...just saying that if this is the reason... well, I know someone who also couldn't take it, and her 6 yr old still comes in every night....and they' are not happy about it, but they don't want to deal with their daughter being upset for a few nights....

Good luck!

Yes, babies have an inner knowledge of their fluid needs and will drink accordingly. If he is drinking a lot at night, he really does not need to drink much during the day. Here's what I would do (and have done)- I would start by either not feeding at night (keep a sippy of water by the bed)or by cutting out daytime feeds. You may wish to keep the wakeup feed and bedtime feed for now. Explain to him (they can understand at this age) that he is a big boy and needs to drink his milk from a cup most of the time, mommy's milk is just for xyz time. Then stick with it. Never take a step you can not follow through with. They remember this!

Hi M.!
You have to follow your heart and do what's best for your family. I will tell you what I just went through with my 21 month old son. I also co-sleep, and I exclusively breastfeed him since he was born. I will tell you that during the summer months, when I was able to get him outside alot, and do a lot of phsyical play, he nursed less. Also, the more interested I got him playing with his cousins, then when at home, we played alot, and I introduced lots of new foods that he did like, he automatically nursed less. By the end of the summer, he sort of naturally got to where he only nursedjust before bed and that was it. Instead of a sippee cup I've always used straw cups. Playtex makes good ones, and I always have water out within his reach that he can get himself whenever he wants it. By 18 months he was still nursing just before bed, and I'd just give him water when he woke during the night. Then, honestly, he just started refusing to nurse when I offered it at night! He was more interested in playing with Daddy, or looking at his books, or playing on his own, and he just would lay with me to cuddle before bed. My mom also nursed my brother and I, and she said that we both quit on our own when we were ready. I trusted her, and my son ended up doing the same, just naturally weaning himself!

I loved breastfeeding, it was the only time I could relax. I nursed all 6 kids to one year give or take. usually take. I think there are 2 things you could do. Both of these problems I experienced with baby # 5. I think it goes with the territory. IF he is breastfeeding that much at that age he is not getting enough calories during the day. Obviously, from your info most of his calories are from the breast milk. So Never nurse him unless he has eaten a meal. Make sure he has quality protein, this will add calories and stablize the blood sugar and help to get to the next meal. Bulk up the meal for fulness with veges and complex carbs like a sweet potatoe. At that age he may only be eating 1-2T of each thing. Then set a time limit on the breast feeding. Like 5 min tops. In between snacks which he will need give him apples and cheese or peanut butter (one the recall is ovr) Fresh fruit, or veges. My 8 year old loves tomatoes to snack on my 6 year old loves cucumbers and broccoli. Find what he likes. Make sure if he doesn't like something that you come back to that later on, until he does like it. Even if its a bite here or there to get use to the flavor. Stay away obviously from sugary drinks and snacks, they are empty calories and will work against you. So the first part is increase the calories during the day, he should not be waking up at night at this point. You've created a habit. When he does wake up you have to stay up and work him through it. Look at it this way, 2-3 weeks (they say it takes 21 days to break a habit) I know the sleep. lol. But after that you will finally sleep. Maybe there are times your hubby can relieve you. During the day if he naps you nap to get you through this time period. Don't worry about the house, it'll be there when you wake. Now for night time, I too suffered 5 years of this! However, the last 2 were better then the first 3. He co slept until 3ish. I was exhausted, you can't sleep in that situation. I then remembered what I did with the first 4 kids. I parked a sleeping bag and pillow on the floor and that was his spot. Once you start this NEVER let him back in!!!!You go to him on the floor as last resort ONLY to comfort, NOT to sleep. In time he may go to the crib, mine didn't he was going to kindergarten when he decided he had enough of the floor. He was 6. Don't fret with him on the floor they love it. I can remember my big kids were 11,13,14,15 when Matthew started sleeping on the floor, they decided to have a camp out in our room. I had kids scattered everywhere! I loved it! It was kinda funny, the oldest saw everyone was in our room, so she went and got her stuff she wanted to be part of it too. It will work, I promise. You've taught him some habits(i did too) now you have to break them. It's not easy undoing, something you get used to. If you can, let him pick out a cool sleeping bag. If you want, tuck him in on the floor instead of waiting for a tantrum from the crib. Explain in his terms the best you can, Mommy and Daddy need sleep, and we love you, and this is your special place. Let him pick where he wants on the floor next to mommy or daddy. You may find he has separation anxiety with change, mine did, and it surfaces, at preschool, church, kindergarten and 1st grade. Finally now in 3rd grade he is pretty good, he will be 9 on Wed. Try and find the joy in the fact that this little guy loves you so much. BUT you need to teach him what is appropriate. That's part of your job, so don't feel guilty about the changes you have to make. It is our job as a mom to teach our kids to grow up and be productive responsible adults. This is part of it. Each child is different. He is the only child I had this problem with. It wasn't a problem just a challenge I never experienced until baby #5. With all the experience getting to him, once I got my head out of the cloud from sheer exhaustion, I knew what needed to be done, and I did it and it worked like a charm. Good luck, stick with it.

I weaned my first baby at 22 months, and my second at 14 months. I learned that what they wanted most at that age wasn't the milk but the comfort. With the first one I had to just wean completely all at once. She never took the binky before, so I gave her one anytime she wanted to nurse. It took a lot of crying and a lot of cuddling, but she learned she could still get the same comfort by cuddling me. It worked and fast.

With the second, I tried at all once, and that was a mistake. It hurt me a lot! So I let her still nurse at night and cut out all daytime feedings. It also took a lot of crying for her, but also learned she could get the comfort. Night time feedings just ended because I had her in her own bed and she started sleeping through the night. Once she stopped nursing her appetite for regular food and drinks increased and her weight started picking up (that was good because she wasn't gaining weight much for a little while).

Just stick to not giving in for feedings, whether it's one feeding cut out at a time or a whole group. The first day is the hardest.

Hello,
Your situation sounds similar to mine when my son was 12 months old. I thought he would never be able to give up breastfeeding (or that I would never have the heart to take it away from him). I'm sure every baby is different, but for us, once I stopped feeding him at night (around 12 months), he just sort of forgot about the daytime feedings and was weaned miraculously quickly. I never would have thought it possible. Also, he wouldn't drink more than a sip of milk beforehand from a regular cup (nothing from a sippy), but once the breastfeeding stopped, he just started taking more milk. Now, at 17 months old, he still loves his cow's milk and will drink whole cups of it at a time. I never would have believed it. We weren't cosleeping, but it was practically like I was because I would hold him on a chair most of the night. I never and will never let him cry by himself. But I had to send my husband at night instead of me until he was weaned. I thought it would break my heart, but I survived and my son wasn't nearly as upset about the change as I thought. After the first few nights, he got used to the fact that his daddy would hold him instead of me and he didn't seem to even miss the milk. I always was convinced that he must be hungry at night, but I guess he really wasn't. Anyway, he also started to sleep much better after that. I know since you are cosleeping, my situation isn't quite the same as yours, but I hope this info was helpful. Good luck!

I have two sons - a 2.5 year old and one that just turned 17 months. I breastfed both. My oldest was easy to wean. I worked part-time in the evenings so he was used to getting his milk out of a bottle or sippy cup, so when I found out I was pregnant again when he was 9 months old, I had no problems transitioning him to formula.

Now my 2nd son is a different story. I quit work to stay home with both boys permanently when he was born. Both boys loved to nurse, but my 2nd son, I never pushed the bottle or sippy cup much early, because I didn't have to. He would drink from a bottle or sippy cup daily, but usually only about 5 oz. and then he was done with it and wanted the breast again. My goal was only to nurse to 12 months, since I was forced to stop earlier with my first son. I just wanted to make it to the point where they were allowed to drink whole milk so that I wouldn't have to buy formula. Plus I enjoyed the bonding nursing gave me w/ my boys.

Two weeks before my youngest son's 1st birthday, I started the weaning process. I had worked hard in the weeks prior to that pumping and freezing the milk so that I'd have milk to start weening. I started by skipping mid morning and mid afternoon feedings w/ the breast so that my milk productions would start decreasing and I offered him thawed milk in a cup. He showed no interest in the cup or bottle. He wanted it from the breast, which I wasn't caving in. He was stubborn and would only take a few sips from the cup and would just hold out until I did nurse him again. After a few more days, I stopped nursing in the middle of the day and just nursed when we woke up in the morning and just before I put him to bed at night. He still wouldn't drink much from the cup at all, and I wouldn't cave in and nurse him. He did eat baby foods and some small table foods, so I made sure to pick baby foods with water like the fruit and veggies. So I knew he wasn't starving, but yet I knew he wasn't getting as much milk as he was used to. I then cut out the evening nursing only nursing 1 time each day the last 3 days of nursing. He wouldn't drink much for me at all, pushing his cup away wanting the breast, I wasn't going to cave. I wanted to start taking normal birth control pills too. The pediatrician told me that he wouldn't starve himself, so to just keep doing what I was doing. After 3 days of nursing one time a day, I was done. I would not let him have the breast at all and I continually offered him milk in a cup - now at this point, it was whole milk. For a good 24-36 hours, he refused to drink the milk. He was very fussy during that time, but I was stubborn enough to not cave in, even though it was very hard for me, as I did not like seeing him upset. I continued to give him his regular meals 3 times a day; baby foods like fruit and veggies so that he was still getting water in his food. As long as a baby makes 4 wet diapers a day, then you know he isn't dehydrated. I continued to offer him milk and like my pediatrician always told me, a baby will not starve himself. If the baby is hungry, he will eat. 36 hours after I stopped nursing altogether, he finally accepted the cup of whole milk and began to drink it and I haven't had any problems since then. It was the hardest thing for me to do and it wasn't easy. He was cranky more often during the 2 weeks that I started the whole weaning process, but I knew that if I caved in and gave him what he wanted, that I'd just be prolonging the whole process.

The point to the whole story is, make a plan and then stick to it. Continue to offer your son milk, etc. in a cup without nursing. It won't be easy, but my pediatrician has told me time and time again, that your baby won't starve itself. When it's hungry or thirsty enough, he will eat/drink.

M.,

Before I'd start focusing on the weaning completely, I'd focus on the sleeping 100% through the night. I think that that would help him wean and would help you. My son co-slept with us until he was almost 2, but I was pregnant and just needed some sleep. The best advice I ever received was "the safest place for your child to be, besides in your arms, is in his crib." I don't know if you've ever watched SuperNanny get kids to sleep in their own beds, but we did the same thing for our son (and then our daughter when she was 5 mos old - she was much easier). Your son is old enough that he does not need to eat/drink in the middle of the night, he is using it as comfort. Just put him to bed in his own crib and instead of letting him cry it out, do what SuperNanny / the Ferber method recommend. It will be very difficult the first couple of nights, but in less than a week, you'll all be sleeping through the night. I'd just google Ferber method to get a description because it'll be better than I can type here.
Then, after he's sleeping in his own bed, in his own room, you can refocus on weaning. You will essentially have already begun weaning because you will have cut those 2 night feedings out. What I did, was first cut the morning feeding because it was easier to get up, make breakfast, get cup of milk, etc. There is so much going on that the kids forget that they want to nurse then. Then, cut the afternoon, then night. I cut the night last because it was easier to help us get the kids to bed if they were nursing, but eventually, they learn to sleep without nursing first.
I don't know if this helps, but you can do it. It'll be hard, believe me, but take your time and be consistent. As soon as you give in, he'll know he's won and he'll keep pressuring you until you give in. Kids are smart like that!

I can't speak to the weaning. My son self weened at 9 months when I got pregnant w/number 2. However, I can speak to the milk issue. My son doesn't like milk (or juice). I can only get him to drink a max of 8 oz of milk a day. The rest of the day he drinks water. Our doctor said that this was fine as long as he had other sources of dairy regularly. He eats plenty of cheese & yogurt. So, as long as he is drinking water; 10 oz of milk a day is fine.

te.

Dear M.,
I nursed all eight of my babies to different lengths of time. My oldest daughter I let nurse until the somewhat embarrasing (for our society) age of three. I remember trying to wean and having my breasts turn rock hard from the milk, and I remember getting pregnant again as soon as I cut down on the nursing. I seem to remember the nursing at night went last, usually because another baby was on the way. (though I have heard of mom's nursing two babies, it didn't occur to me to do that) You have some good advice here that I wish I would have had when I was having babies. Your baby is still young. The baby will gradually want to eat more and nurse less.
Good luck,
N

Hi. I am a stay at home mom of a 2yr old daughter. I started weaning her at 16 mos old and she still sleeps with us sometimes. all I did was hold her snuggled against me with her back to me so she couldn't nurse and gave her a sippy cup when it was time to drink. I didn't take it away all at once. I started to skip just one feeding a day. I made it the afternoon one at first. Then every after a period of time I would skip the 2nd one and so on. I saved the over night for the last. I also made sure that I snuggled her when I normally would be breast feeding her. I started to wean her in march and we were totally done by the end of May. I hope this helps.

D.