Wean B4 Leaving for 3 Days?

I just want to say don't feel guilty for leaving on a work trip! I know as mothers we always feel guilty about something, but try not to look at it that way. As for the weaning, I think you got a lot of great advice already.

Hi Allison,
Firstly, what a wonderful gift you have given to your baby- there are so many benefits to continued nursing at this age (health wise, immune-system, nutrients for fussy eaters, emotionally good etc.) and I thank you as a healthcare provider who sees too many babies weaned too young. I hope you found nursing quite useful while she has had the flu (you can absolutely nurse whille baby is having stomach issues), and she experienced it less severely because you are nursing!

Secondly, sometimes work sucks- - but make the most of it if you can. I have a couple of thoughts on the matter.

Take some time to think if you and your baby are really ready to wean at this time- Are you ready to give up that relationship? Sometimes we undervalue the significance of that nursing relationship for ourselves.

In the long run it will be best if the decision is wholly your families and not based on work- -you will feel less resentment and the process will be much easier and less emotionally charged. If you really are ready this probably would be a good time to start, just be sure to follow you and your baby's cues and take it gradually. Generally weaning is best if it's done gradually over about 4-6 weeks, sometimes longer. Maybe the trip isn't the end- -made it is a step in the process.

If you and your baby aren't ready to start weaning you really don't have to as long as you can pump while you are away. If you don't pump be prepared for some severe engorgement (unless your daughter only nurses once or twice a day- - even then, possibly)which could really dry up your milk supply. You might try to store a little milk for comforting bottles with papa while you are away. Also, it will help for you to talk to her about it (whether you are starting to wean or just preparing her for the separation)- - you would be suprised by how much our young ones understand.

I have two readings for you if you feel you want more info-
La Leche League' has two excellent books that really helped me- -one for when I chose to continue nursing my older baby called Mothering Your Nursing Toddler and another when I was thinking about weaning- - called Weaning (I think). Your local La Leche League would have them to loan.

Good Luck to you and your family!

I am faced with the same situation, in late February. I don't want to wean my 16 mo. daughter yet, so I'm going to bring a pump. I think your husband and mother can deal with it, then you can come back and continue nursing, or wean if you choose.

I agree with Sarah's post. Do it when you want to, not when you have to. I weaned my son (now nearly 3) at about 15 or 16 months, and we dropped one nursing a week until we were down to just that really early a.m. (between 4 and 5 - by the way -I think that is VERY COMMON for little ones to wake and nurse around that time of night - don't feel bad about still doing it). Then, he just started sleeping through it, and that was that. It took a few weeks, and went so much easier than I thought it would. I expected it to be really difficult, but I think we were both ready so it went well.

Good luck to you.

J.

Hi Allison,
I had to leave my nursing toddler home with Daddy for a weekend, and we waited to wean until a while after I got back. In your toddler's concrete way of thinking, it will make sense that if mommy isn't there, she doesn't nurse. My daughter had gotten used to having Daddy put her to bed sometimes when I was out in the evening, so if you're never gone at bedtime, you maybe could try doing that a couple of times before your trip to give them some practice. I talked a lot before I went about coming back, and Daddy talked about it while I was gone. My daughter was a little bit standoffish when I first got home and didn't want me to hug her right away, but after we nursed the first time she seemed to be over the whole thing. I have heard of other people's babies self-weaning while mom was out of town, but I don't know that it happens all that often. We later weaned over the course of a couple of months and it went pretty well. I hope this helps!

I would start working on weaning immediately so it's not such a shock while your gone.

Also she soooooo doens't need to be waking up at 4am for a feeding still.

I think she'll be fine with Grandma kids usually Grandma's are blast to hang out with.

Allison,
I understand your feeling guilty and nervous about this, it's completely normal. And, regardless of how you end up handling it, it will be OK! :o)

I weaned my son at 13 months, because I had to go overseas for 2 weeks of work. I had hoped that I could nurse him through the winter (he weaned in January last year) to get any extra antibodies possible, but I had no choice--and not a lot of notice. I weaned him gradually over about 10 days--we went down to just one nursing in the day, supplemented with milk that I had stored and formula, and I also pumped less and less to minimize my discomfort, instead of just quitting suddenly. My last few days at home I didn't nurse at all, and only pumped if I felt I really needed to, which wasn't much.

The hardest part for me was the emotional change--knowing that I had been the sole provider of nutrition for all of his life, and now, I wasn't required for him to be OK. That was hard! But, it all worked out great. He had a great time being watched by dad and grandparents, ate well, and had no problems at all. And, I was OK, too.

Good luck, and know that you will end up making the best choice for your family, and you and baby will be just fine! :o)
Jen

Good for you, and her, for continuing to nurse at 16 mos! How awesome. I nursed all 3 of my kids, only one went past a year. I would not wean her now, neither you or she is ready. Let her tell you when it is time to wean, not your work trip. I would keep it up and just talk to her about it a few days before you go. She will probably surprise you and do just great going to bed and sleeping, since you aren't there. She knows only you can nurse her, so with you gone, chances are she will be fine. You may even want to try a night before you leave where you are gone at bed time and dad puts her to bed with out nursing, just to see how it goes. (I would wait until she is well, though, she really needs that Bmilk when she is sick.) Good luck. I am sure you will both do great! Keep up the great job bfeeding her!
S.

I weaned both of my kids upon leaving for out-of-town travel. I worked them down to just one nursing before I left and then went cold-turkey while I was away for 3-4 days. I didn't wean BECAUSE I was traveling, I used the trip/date as a goal and starting weaning up to that date, knowing we were getting close to being done nursing anyway. I think it made it easier for both of us - I weaned to another person (dad) and didn't have to deal with much screaming, etc. - when the nursing stopped. It was really quite easy.

Hi Allison,

I think that your weaning AND leaving for 3 days for the first time is too much for your 16 m/o to handle. Why not just leave for 3 days and pump while you're away to keep up your supply? A three-day break in nursing won't make her forget how to nurse! It will be a happy and warm reunion when your return brings her mama's milk that she so loves. Let the weaning happen slowly, without pressure and when you feel the time is right. Best of luck! L.

I went through the exact same thing when my youngest was 14 months. I chose to wean him. I had some pressure from the caregivers who were going to be staying with him and he was biting me pretty badly so I figured it was time anyhow. You need to decide what is best for you, your baby and the caregivers who will stay with her while you are gone. If you choose to wean I would try to do it gradually--eliminate one feeding at a time--rather than cold turkey. I eliminated two feedings at once and it was very traumatic for my son; we had 4 very difficult, sleepless nights. He is an intense child anyhow and he was so upset I actually took him to the dr. to see if anything was wrong with him physically. He was fine. If she is down to two feedings and you don't leave for more than 2 weeks I think you can do it by eliminating one feeding per week. Good luck with whatever you decide and enjoy the time away.

If you are still happy nursing, and obviously she isn't ready to give it up, just keep going. I nursed well past a year with my boys, and my husband and I took al ong weekend when my youngest was 14 months old. He was nursing at 6am, and again at bedtime. We left for 3 days, came back, went right back to our regular routine. He was just fine without me (he fussed but knew I wasn't there) and he weaned at 20 months.(I cut the morning feeding around 18 months when he was jsut getting a quick drink) and around 20/21 months he was so busy at bedtime he didnt ask to nurse, and that was that.

If yo uare good nursing her (and you should be, this is cold and flu season so she is getting antibodies from you, and the fat in your milk is helping her brain grow and its exactly waht her body needs right now) then keep it up. She'll be fine without you, and she'll be fine when you get back.

I myself have been in this same situation and I know how stressful it is to be nursing and working period, let alone having to travel on top of it! My personal opinion is not to put the stress on yourself to wean while you already have enough stress with travel and work. You will be MUCH happier if you wean on your terms and when are not feeling any pressure to make a decision on the issue! Take the three days away, see how she does and what her reation is when you get home - that will tell you how ready you and your little girl are for weaning. Take it as it comes - life is too fast and too short to push it : ) Best of Luck to you!