Weaning - Sedalia,MO

She's got a problem--It's going to be ugly, but she needs to create some space so that he can learn to comfort himself and sleep by himself. This situation has to be stressful for her, and it isn't a really positive situation for him... He'll do better if she empowers him to be more indpendent. But it isn't going to be easy.

If she wants him to stop biting then the next time he does it. Sharply and loudly say "no biting!" remove him from the breast, set him down and leave the room - come back in a minute and sternly explain no biting - Both of my children bit my breast ONCE - this works really - Good Luck

My son was a biter at about that same age. If she inserts her finger in his move and removes him from the breast every time he does it, he will learn cause, effect that he is taken away from something he likes.

Re: the other questions. I used the breast to pacify my two kids until they were 2. I also co-slept. (They are now 3 and 6). I would have gone crazy if I gave that up - a very important tool. I would advise to think long and hard before going through with weaning. She would be giving up a lot, and I think the biting can be managed.

It sounds like your friend is trying to wean him of three things, sleeping in his own bed, the breastfeeding, and using her breast as a pacifier. Maybe she should tackle one or two at a time, so its not so overwhelming to the baby to take away these three things at once. Like, start by working on putting him in his own bed and giving him a bottle at night when he wakes up hungry. Or replace something else for the pacifier instead of her breast to where he's only latching on when he needs to eat. That will start the weaning process anyway to where he's not latching on as much and eventually he'll be weaned off completely. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Hi A.,
I'm nursing my 15 month old son and we have definately been 'round with the biting issue. It sounds like your friend needs releif from the pain of biting, however weaning may cause more pain b/c of engorgement and the loss of connection with the baby before they are both really ready for it. I would strongly encourage your friend to contact her local La Leche League. They have been wonderful for me and my son and have great advice/information, plus the mother to mother support is priceless! Here's the link http://www.lalecheleague.org/WebUS.html
You can attend a meeting or call and they will be more than happy to help your friend with the breastfeeding issues! Good Luck,
K.

Well she really doesn't have to wean him because he's biting. She can instead teach him not to bite! What I've always done with my son, is when he bites, lightly flick him on the cheek and say "no no! don't bite momma." the flicking is just hard enough to startle him, and it's more about the stern voice. Tell her that sometimes they start biting because they are done eating and want to play. So, when he bites, she may only have to close up shop and make him be done for that session! Look at Dr. Sears website. They have great info on troubleshooting breastfeeding and co-sleeping issues, without having to stop either!

Good luck!

Hi A..I'm a 40 yr old mom of 7 and i went through this with ALL of my kids[didn't do the formula though]I had to learn the hard way!! lol when it came time to wean them off i started slowly with cutting one feeding out a day until they were no longer needing it and trying to introduce the tippy cup or in my case the bottle.I nursed all of my kids for about a year or so and it was harder on me than it was on them!LOL I also had them sleeping with us until they were old enough to sleep in their own beds[I know a lot of people don't agree!!] But it worked for us and didn't hurt them a bit.They grow so fast and we only have them little for a short time so it really worked for us.I hope that this helps, it works but you have to be ready to do it because the kids aren't always very happy about it and i know from experience it can break your hear,but be strong and things will be fine!! Good Luck and God Bless!! L. S

I recommend reading the book "Attachment Parenting" by Dr William Sears. He has tons of advice about how to parent without sacrificing too much of yourself. Best of luck!

She should be okay to wean the day time feedings first and comfort nurse at night. I did this for my younger two.

cut out one feeding during the day a week until she's down to only nursing while co-sleeping. Then she may find that he doesn't do that as often with the fuller feelings the bed time bottle gives him.

To stop the comfort nursing at night she just needs to sleep in a tight bra for about 2 weeks. One that even her husband can't get into is best.

Do what you can to talk her out of comfort feeding during the day. redirection is best but a pacifier works just as well.

Hi A.,
I'm gonna start by saying I have never breastfed any of my children and I have 4. That being said here is my advice...

First off it is totally your friends choice to start weaning him from breast feeding. But there are a couple of different things that need to be addressed before this can happen.

Here are the issues that you have mentioned ~
* He is biting
* She co-sleeps with him
* comforts him with breastfeeding.
* in addtion she still has to get him of the bottle.
Your friend needs to decide what she wants to happen in each of these areas.

Advice...
With the biting I agree with the other ladies that have said tell him no and no bite, in a stern voice and then put him on the floor for a few minutes.

So she doesn't have the heart to put him in his own room, own bed well there has been no child being mistreated because their parent makes them sleep in their own bed. I personally wouldn't be able to sleep if I had my 5 1/2 month old daughter sleeping next to me, I would wake up at every sound she made or movement. So here again her choice, how to get started if she does (first she is gonna have to pick which battle she wants to take on first) I would start with his naps at home and he sleeps in his room, in his bed.

As far as the comfort nursing I would imagine at this point he would not take the pacifier and if he would he may become attached to it, but with the pacifier you can control the amount of time he uses it. And by this I mean he is only givin it when he wants to soothe himself or is reading to go down for nap or to bed for the night. Also other options rather than offering the boob or pacifier would be the bottle or a sippy cup with water, juice, formula or breast milk in it.

In my opion you probably shouldn't replace one with another and if you are gonna wean him do it all so you don't have to do it again.

She could do these things in phases start with the biting and the going to bed on his own, comfort nursing could be replaced with a sippy cup.
But also it would not be a good idea to start the habit of him taking a sippy cup to bed, you will have to stop anyway sooner or later.
hope this helps W.

When my boys would bite I would take them off and say NO BITING then let them back on. It took some time, but they each learned that if they bit they got taken off the breast. My youngest went through a thing where he would bite just to get a reaction out of me. So tell your friend to try to not have too big of a reaction to the biting.
With my oldest I found it helpful to not let him "play" after he was done eating because that was when he was more likely to bite. A baby can't bite while actively nursing so limiting "play" time also helps.

All transitions are hard but weening is one of the most difficult of them all. It's easier on us if we take the boob and give something in it's place such as a bottle or pacifier. If he wasn't already used to the bottle I would wait until he was ready to go to a sippy cup. But, she would still be getting up in the middle of the night to fetch a sippy cup. If it were me... I would get the baby sleeping through the night before anything. The necessary steps for that will be more difficult for mom than baby. It is more convienent for him to latch than for her to get up and make a bottle. My breastfed son began sleeping from 8:30pm to 4:00am at 7 months. His pediatrician suggested to add rice cereal to his "before bed time" bottle. It is important to keep the baby awake until finished and 30 minutes before laying him down to sleep in his crib. Resisting to feed as long as possible will give him the opportunity to soothe himself. If you feed you should give a bottle not the boob. If she is consistant it will be days and he will be sleeping through the night. Once he is sleeping through the night she will feel better placing his crib in another room. I will say it was easy to resist the urge to give him a bottle w/him being in a different room. The thought of him choking scared me to doing what was necessary. After a couple of minutes he would soothe himself back to sleep. My son is one year younger than my nephew and my sister wanted to know how I got my son to sleep though the night and in his own room. She tried to make me feel horrible for allowing him to cry until he soothed himself. My nephew is now 6 and she is proud to say he no longer sleeps in their bed... he's on a palet on their floor. I was teased and ridiculed by her and others for reading and researching so much before my son was born. They all said "you do what works for you anyway so there is no point". With him being my first, I wanted to know what, when and how before it happended. She was kind of right, I did tailor all of the advice to what worked for me. She is now expecting her second child in July and she asked that I write a book so that she don't have to read as many as I did. Good luck to your friend and to you too.

A.,
Tell your friend she should stick it out. My daughter is 7 1/2 months old and every once in a while she bites down. She has 2 lower teeth already in. But i look at her and sternly say "No, Don't bite." And I take her off the breast. She doesn't know she is biting, it just feels good to her. But letting him know he can't do that is a good idea, even if you don't think he understands right now. I even read that if you take them off (the breast) after they bite and set them on the floor, it works too. It kind of hurts their feelings in a way. But then, you can pick them back up and put them back on. Women have been breastfeeding since "Adam & Eve's" time. We know breastfeeding is the best thing we can do for our kids. But i just don't think we should give up on it because of a small nibble here and there. It is so easy for peope to give up on breastfeeding now because there are alternatives, but forget about them, because they are not really "the very best" you can do for your kid. Hang in there! Really 3 1/2 months are not that far away if you can hang in until he turns 1.

Okay I know I am like the umteenth person to reply to this question but I am speaking from experiance with having a 7 1/2 mo daughter who co-sleeps and nurses just like that allll through the night and i also had a problem with her biting.
Now for the biting...no shouting or spatting needed when he bites her instead of pushing off like you instinctively do, you pull them toward you and squish them into your breast. They are very uncomfortable and feel like they are suffocating. Obviously, you are just going to do this for a second, so you won't actually hurt them. As you do this, make a big deal out of how much they hurt you and let them really see that you are upset.he will get it and hopefully he will stop biting ....that is what worked for me.

For getting him to sleep on his own there is and AWESOME book i am reading right now it is called "Sleepeasy Solution" it was written by moms and I think it will help her as it has started helping me with getting her to sleep in her crib with a great plan of action to help her not to cry so much while getting started.
Bottom line is that aslong as they are co-sleeping he is going to want to nurse all through the night. So let her know she doesnt have to stop nursing yet she just needs to teach him that biting isn't okay and sleeping on his own is definately the best thing for him. Good luck. Let us know how it turns out!

I had the same problem with my son...as soon as he got in his two bottom teeth he would bit me, I almost dropped him once it hurt so bad. Like you friend my son co-sleeps with me, sowhat I do is at night is make a large bottle of formula, up to 8 ounces, and I keep it next to the bed,so when he wakes up at about 3 in the morning all I have to do is roll over and feed him the bottle. Pretty much the same thing that I did when I breast fed him. Usually he'll eat about 5-6 ounces andfall back to sleep for three hours or more. When he wakes up sometimes I'll give him the rest of the bottle.

Weening was easy because I don't think he was really interested anymore in breast milk, which would explain why he would bitme.

Good luck.

I agree that she doesn't have to wean. Try Pantley's book "The Np-Cry Sleep Solution" or the Baby Whisperer forums http://www.babywhisperer.com/smf/ for easier ways to get him to sleep. :)