Weaning a Breast Fed Baby

Updated on December 20, 2007
R.G. asks from Atkinson, NH
13 answers

Any advice on how to wean an older baby off the breast? I had only planned to nurse for about 6 months. Well, now my boy is 11 months and I can't figure out how to stop!! He really only nurses once or twice a day. It's become our habit before he naps. But he does fine if we're busy during the day and skip it. Night time is when it's the hardest. He still wakes up at least 2 times and won't go back to sleep until I nurse him. I have tried giving him a bottle, rocking him, or not going to him at all but he screams relentlesly and wakes up the whole house! I don't really know what to do and his pediatrician is no help. She just says he'll stop when he's ready. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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S.W.

answers from Boston on

You should try the La Leche League. They are very helpful with all aspects of breastfeeding, including weaning. If he's really not ready to stop, it will take a few nights of him screaming, but if you really are done, stick to it, and he will give up. I was able to "night-wean" my daughter by having my husband go to her instead of me, and since she knew that there was no milk there, she was ok with it, and got used to it quicker. My son is 2 1/2 and still nursing a few times a night, because my husband is working a more difficult job now, and doesn't want to do the night stuff with him. I don't really mind, because nursing is so good for him, I know he'll quit eventually. But if you don't want to breastfeed anymore, it's important that you shouldn't keep doing it. Good luck.

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D.L.

answers from Providence on

I was going to stop by 6 mons. too. :) Still going at 8 mons. I don't nurse her at night though. I have begun the ferberizing method.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified...
Most of the time she'll wake up at 3:00am or so and go back to sleep on her own now. If she wakes up at 5:00am or later I'll go in and feed her.

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

EDITED TO ADD:

COLD TURKEY IS NOT A SAFE WAY TO WEAN. Never mind that it's terrible for the baby, it puts you at risk for clogged ducts and severe breast infections.

Hi!

Congratulations on making it to 11 months. :)

Here's the thing...don't wean!

11 months old is still SO dependant on wholesome mama's milk for calories and nutrition. Formula for the first year and whole cow's milk for the second year are only very poor substitutes for what every child 2 and under should be getting...breastmilk.

The health benefits for nursing at least through the second year of life are incredible and crucial. Almost every major health organization recommends breastfeeding for a MINIMUM of two years (WHO, AAFP, CAP, etc)

Keep it up, mama! Your baby is telling you something important...he's way too little to wean!

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B.M.

answers from Boston on

This is probably not what you want to hear, but your pediatrician is right- he'll stop when he's ready. He's still a baby, enjoy this quiet time with him while you can! It is only twice a day, and it is so good for him. I wish my boy would still nurse!!!

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M.S.

answers from Boston on

I have weaned all the boys, one at 6 months, one at 8 months, one at 14 months and I am in the process of weaning one at 14 months too. First, I would skip bottles all together. If you have not done so already, introduce the sippy cup, with whole milk, providing no allergies. The peds suggest waiting until the babies are between 11 and 12 months for milk. Give the sippy often during the day. The easiest to wean from is the first thing in the am, baby gets up, instead of nursing, feed them food and a sippy. Then a few days later, the naps, instead of nursing, walk around cuddling with their blanket worked best for me, then I would rock them, and put them down very drowzy. Sometimes they would cry for a bit, but usually no more then a few minutes. Or if I am out and about and the baby falls asleep in the car, I would move them from the car to bed, usually awake by then too, but they go right back to sleep. Once they start going to bed during the day awake, they seemed to sleep better at night, able to self soothe better. Last to go is the night feeding. With our 3rd, I just did the same as naps, walk around, usually with a cup, cuddling, then rocking. I am still in the process of weaning our youngest, he completely weaned during the day, naps and all, and most nights he is sleeping through. He gets up maybe 2x a week. I have gotten him to sleep a few nights without nursing, also. Good luck.

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C.H.

answers from Boston on

my (now 19mos) was a boob addict until 15 mos! shes a very difficult baby (Since birth!) she would comfort nurse throughout the day and would wake 8 to 10 times a night to nurse! I loved nursing, but was exhausted and getting married soon so I had to get her off. slowly weaning was not an option with her! I decided one day that was it, no "bibi's" during the day and my husband & I took turns holding her, singing & rocking her. she screamed, hit kicked yelled what im sure was mean things at us but eventually passed out. she woke ONCE that night! granted, it was about an hour of screaming, but the whole next day was easier , and the next night she layed down and passed out, there were a few rough nights (nothing like the 1st) the first week, but it was so easy! the guilt was awful, but the sleep was needed! My advice, just do it, and make sure u r ready and STICK TO IT! don't give in, u will just confuse him when u try again. good luck!

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A.D.

answers from New London on

R.,

This wasn't a nursing issue for me but I did have a similar problem with my daughter. My husband and I saw this recomended on a TV show and it worked for us.

The issue is about the child learning to comfort it's self so He/She can go back to sleep. This was tough on us (no one wants to hear their child cry) but it worked and crying at night was never an issue after.

Instead of picking your son up at night when he crys,
go in, give him a blanket, and lay him down (with Love) and leave the room. The next time he crys, (prob as you leave the room)
don't go back in for a min or two... then go in and do the same thing. Next time aft 3-5 min, do the same thing.

Keep stretching the time out as you go untill he falls asleep.
He will learn to comfort himself and after a few days....
When he wakes up at night, he will go back to sleep on his own. (On the show, they had a camera in the room so you could see the process, and how the child was doing)

I believe this took three nights of doing this for my daughter, I think she was about the same age as your son.

Just remember,Each Night, start out the same way and stretch the time out as you go. This way you are making sure he knows your there while he learns to comfort himself.

I hope this helps.
If you try it I would love to here how it goes.

~A.

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J.M.

answers from Providence on

I have been there as well....I have some good advice about the night time thing because we traveled a lot when our son was a baby and it always messed up his sleep schedule (which although doesn't really have to do with the bottle thing, the solution is the same): You just have to let him cry it out. Nothing worked for me but that, and I tried it all. After about the 4th night, he'll stop.

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C.T.

answers from New London on

My daughter was weaned by 12 months. The night feedings were the last to go, and I've heard that's normal since it's usually just for comfort rather than the baby really being hungry. I kinda agree with your pediatrician, he'll wean when he's ready, my daughter was that way I just went with it and didn't force her to stop. But she showed signs of being ready to wean by not being interested in nursing, being distracted and only nursing for a few seconds, so I started by cutting out a specific nursing session (like say 3pm) for a few days, then when she was adjusted to that, I'd cut out another nursing session, etc. Like I said her night nursing session was the last to go, but finally she gave that up and for the first time in 12 months she was able to sleep through the night! It is good if you go with flow and let your son determine when he's ready to wean, but try cutting out one nursing session for a few days and see how it goes. I think another thing that helped with my daughter is that we were giving her more "big girl" food instead of just milk, and she loved trying new foods. Good luck!!

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C.A.

answers from Boston on

R. my baby was 2 years old when I stopped. He is going to cry for atleast a week and then he will stop. If he is in the same room with you it is worse. Take my word for it. Warn the whole house to ignore the baby for that week. That next week he will be fine it is really harder for the mom than the baby. Do not give him a crutch do not give him anything to depend on he can really do it. I did not sleep for 2 years! You will see. Good Luck!

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S.B.

answers from Boston on

i nursed my daughter till she was 1. i feel ya!
maybe you could set aside some time each night before bed, just the two of you. for example... give your hugs and kisses lay him in bed and read a story. even if he crys, keep reading. let him sleep with something that smells like you, (a shirt of yours or something) tell him its na night time. then leave the room. wait 15 mins. if he is still crying, go in his room lay him down, say "lay down, na night time" leave the room. wait 20 mins. if still crying, go back into the room, lay him down if standing. and leave the room DO NOT PICK HIM UP, DO NOT TALK TO HIM. i know it sound so mean. but he is almost 1 and if he is well feed, and has a clean diaper, he is ok. question.....when he wakes up at night is he having a full meal or just snacking....he pro just wants the bonding time. Try your best to keep him on a routine. i know its sooo hard, to break that bonding time . but, there are other ways to bond. i hope this was some help....GOOD LUCK. get some sleep.

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M.H.

answers from Boston on

I hate to sound so harsh but in my mind the only way is cold turkey. Pick a date that works for you and just stop. I chose my daughter's 10 month birthday and just stopped. And honestly she didn't seem to miss it!!

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W.D.

answers from Boston on

did you try having your husband go in to him at night? If he realizes mom's dairy farm isn't coming, he made get fed up and stop waking in the night if daddy is the one who comes..

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