Weaning and Potty Training

Weaning time should probably begin soon.

As for potty training, let her tell you when she is ready--then it will only take 3 days... If you do it when you are ready, it will take 3 months.

I would do one at a time, and you might want to start at the nursing situation, since they might be too young to start potty training, and the transition of both WILL cause rebellion. You are going to have to be firm when it comes to the breast feeding as difficult as it may be. At her age she will be more demanding (which is probably why after the trip she wanted to nurse more). For her it could be a form of control having you close to her and spending that quality time together. Start slow by removing one feeding every few days. You might want to try to divert her attention or tell her if she wants to be with mommy that it will have to be in a different way. If she screams or gets angry with you, you might have to remove yourself and tell her she won't have time with you. This is going to be hard, but just think she DOES understand more than she did when she was 1. I would try to transfer to a bottle, but stay close to her and read a book, or tell her she can pick what to do (giving her options gives her the feeling of control). Hope these ideas will help. None of us wants our "babies" to not be babies anymore, but this could keep her from gaining her independence and making her way in the world. All the best!

Unless you absolutely have to wean her, she's not ready. Some cultures nurse their babies until 3-4 years old. TO take her away early may give her some insecurities. I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, but I think that nursing should only be stopped when the child is ready.

J. - A couple of things. My cousins (two of them) nursed their daughters until they were almost 3. If you want to start cutting some of the feedings out I would start with the ones that are in the middle of the day. Try to get down to 3. One when she wakes up, One before nap and once before bed. She may whine and cry for the other feedings, but you can try and redirect or ignore. I also nursed my son the three times a day from about 16 months until about 19 months and then I just "closed down shop" during the day so he only nursed at bedtime, and then I think I just dried up so we just went to taking 10 minutes and cuddling and kisses from mama.
Two, the little girl that I nanny potty trained at 26 months. She was not ready before that, almost never sat on the potty and would hide also when she had to have a bowel movedment. But, when SHE decided that she was ready it was two weeks. The first 3 days she had an accident EVERY SINGLE TIME she had to go potty (what a pain lol). She did not go in pull-ups and she did not go in diapers. It was a clean transition. But as Melissa said she absolutely needs to do it on her terms because if you try and push her you will be in for a horrible battle of wills. And unfortunately we can not control when our children use the potty so you will lose that battle. :(
Good Luck, L.

I wouldn't try both at the same time. Weaning can be very traumatic for some children, especially if they have not started weaning themselves by her age. Weaning, then when she is comfortable without the breastfeeding, then potty training if she is showing signs of being interested. Potty training can easily become a power struggle and that makes it hard on everyone.

I don't think you're damaging her at all by still nursing and using diapers. I slowly weaned my son by his second birthday but I know many people who went beyond 24 months.

I started by eliminating night feedings early on (I don't remember when) and once that was done I eliminated the morning feeding and was down to nap and night. I then eliminated the night by having my husband do the bedtime routine for a few weeks and then nap by having busy mornings and he'd fall asleep in the car - did that for about a week and then he was fine going to sleep w/out nursing.

While this was going on he would ask in the mornings for a long time "mama nurse?" and he knew the answer would be "no, we don't nurse in the mornings" and every morning he got a big laugh about that. It was kind of a joke to him. I weaned over many months so it wasn't too traumatic - more for me than him at the time! I also would recommend doing the last elimination over a 3-day weekend or something like that so you and your husband can deal with any fall-out together!

It sounds as if you might wait on potty training. I definitely wouldn't push that. You can control nursing but you can't control going to the bathroom and I wouldn't do both at the same time. Potty training can be a big power struggle and you don't want that - no fun at all! My son potty trained at about three (I know girls generally do it earlier but not all). She will get there! And just think - with diapers you don't have to know where all the bathrooms are around town!

Good luck!

I weaned my first at about 22 months, and it was too early for her, and she is still sad (weaning this late means she consciously remembers the loss, so that's not just momma-guilt). My others weaned in their own time at 18, 20, and 14 months, happy kids, no regrets.

Potty training I also think should be according to the readiness of the child. We tried to train #1 when we "could" (when she was clinically ready), and it sort of worked ... the next two we waited for them. 100% success pretty much instantly with #2, 100% with #3 except that then Mommy and Daddy split up and so a lot of her reality has been transformed into fighting to deny of what's really going on/how she feels, and that translated directly into lack of pottying (she often is "surprised" by peeing). Gradually as things settle out she is having more and more success toileting again ...

Anyhow, I probably agree with the advice to wean first (although certainly I was pottytrained before I weaned, myself, but then my brave momma was still breastfeeding me, because I needed it, until age 4-1/2!) ... but in both cases, watch your daughter. If it's not gonna fly, it's not gonna fly, and you'll be able to see it (and decide how much not-flying you are willing to have happen in order to achieve your desires). I REALLY wanted my first weaned before my second put in his appearance ... but I only potty trained her because 'it seemed like we ought to be able to' ...

You can have a mammogram even if you are breastfeeding. I am 46 and have a almost 3 year old (3 in Feb.) She is still nursing 2 times a day and does sometimes miss days. I had my mammogram last year also, just had this years last week. All you need to do is let them know you are breastfeeding and they usually want you to nurse before you go in to have it done so that the milk ducts are empty. I also have family history of breast cancer, my mom died from it and my sister was just diagnosed a few weeks ago. Just thought you should know you can still have one done.

A.

Put her in rayon or cotton little girl panties. Yes, you're going to have a laundry issue for a couple of weeks, but she will want to go potty on her potty chair because it's uncomfortable and embarassing to be wet, and to soil our pretty panties. 20 months is more than old enough to potty train her. The issue of breast feeding, having her close is as much a comfort for you as it is for her. I hope that you are providing a sipper cup for her at her meals. Start transitioning her to that cup for her liquid nourishment during meal time. To help you, I suggest pumping and using breast milk in her sipper cup. Moving towards whole or 2 percent milk, which ever your pediatrician recommends. If she still needs to nurse, move to a bottle instead of offering the breast. Snuggle her, rock her to sleep if that's the comfort she needs, but transition. She's old enough to talk about being a 'big' girl and how big girls can't nurse any more and get to do all the things they want to do and go all these places.

I eliminated one feeding at a time, which worked well for me. I would say, for example, 'no breastfeeding between 11am and 2pm', and then once that was set, 'no breastfeeding between 10am and 4pm', etc. and slowly work up - we got really quickly to 'no breastfeeding between breakfast and bed time'.
It may help if you can be out of the house for some of that time. If you work regular hours than stick to not nursing during those hours even when you are home...
good luck.

J.,

I would wean her first. Typically girls will potty train at around 2 years old. My daughter is 21 months as well and only wants to go when one of the rest of us say something. We don't do much, just sit her on the seat and she's usually hopping off before we get her settled on the seat.

Weaning you can control, to some degree. Potty training is all about her readiness. If you try to push her it becomes a HUGE mell of a hess.

Good luck,
Melissa

I didn't potty train any of my kids until they were almost 2 1/2. My baby wasn't trained until he was 3. Anything under two is early for potty training. In the U.S., nursing at 21 months is a fairly long time (but not unheard of). Cut out a feeding by giving her a sippy cup or regular cup (she is old enough to learn to drink from a cup independently) with water or regular milk or juice, etc. in it and go from there. Good luck!