Weaning and Sleeping Through

Updated on August 26, 2007
B.B. asks from Nashua, NH
10 answers

I'd like to start the weaning process with my just-turned-one-year-old daughter. My problem is that she is still waking up at night (sometimes 3-4 times) and will only go back to sleep after nursing. I've heard that you should not start weaning until they sleep through the night? Due to home renovation, her crib is in our bedroom, so letting her cry it out at night will be really, really difficult. Any thoughts on which to tackle first?...weaning or sleeping through? We didn't have this problem with either of our older children, so I'm not sure what to do.

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R.B.

answers from Providence on

My son didn't sleep through until after he was one, but I "night weaned" him at about 9 months. When he woke, I just held/rocked him, and he was fine. Dropping his final night feeding was easy for me. I never let him cry it out, but when he woke up attended to him anyway to let him know I was still there.

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A.P.

answers from Providence on

I think it's probably one and the same. If she was sleeping through the night, she wouldn't want to nurse then, and if she wasn't nursing, she'd probably be sleeping through the night.

I tried to cut out the middle of the night feedings first - it was hard and I never had the heart to do the crying it out thing. Mostly I just had my husband do the rocking then; even when they would cry I didn't feel as bad because it wasn't like I was leaving them to cry by themselves.

After they stopped waking up for those I still had the one before bedtime nursing, and I actually held on to that for a really long time - and when I did eventually stop that one it was also by having my husband take over the bedtime.

Just do it slowly and don't do anything that isn't comfortable for you!

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N.C.

answers from Boston on

Hi B.. I have 3 kids too, breastfed all 3. Have you talked to a lactation consultant? This is a really hard question to give advice to, because all kids are so different! Maybe try to stop breast feeding at night, but instead try to comfort your baby, rubbing his back, but not picking the baby up. That's what my pediatrician recommended. Sounds like a smart baby, wanting to wake up to nurse. Not so easy for you! Hang in there. Maybe continue to breastfeed during the day. I also started putting my kids to bed a little earlier 7:00PM. I found that when they were overtired, they were waking up more at night. Maybe it's also teeth, and I swear by ibuprofen. Good luck!--N.

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W.D.

answers from Boston on

try having your husband get up with her and see if she goes right back down because the milk truck isn't available...

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M.S.

answers from Boston on

I suggest you start with weaning during the day first. Like take away the nursing first thing in the morning, then after naps, then before naps, then bedtime. I did it with DS#3 in 2-3 day intervals.
As for at night, I would have your husband get up with baby instead of you. Since with you the baby is looking to nurse for comfort and relaxation. With your hubby she may just take a sippy cup, or just be happy with being rocked.

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H.B.

answers from Boston on

We're kinda doing the same dance right now too, with my 11 month old daughter. I'm definitely anti-cry it out, so we've been responding to her every time she really wakes up at night (there are those times that she makes a few grunts or other sleepy noises but then rolls over and falls back asleep within a minute). I've been pretty successful at day-weaning - I try to just go with the flow and if she needs to nurse of course I let her - but I'm making sure she has 3 square meals, 1 morning and 2 afternoon snacks, and she basically only nurses before her morning nap (and takes a bottle from our sitter in the afternoon). At night I nurse her before she goes down (nursing to sleep) and *usually* only once in the middle of the night. Unless she's acting really hungry or is just having a terrible time falling back asleep at her other night wakings, my hubbo and I take turns rocking her back to sleep.
We've been doing this for about a month, maybe a bit more, and about 2/3's of the time she will sleep from 7pm-ish - midnightish, nurse, and then sleep from midnightish - 7am-ish (sometimes waking once between midnight and 7am). OF COURSE we have nights that she wakes up every 20 minutes until midnight, then sleeps for a couple of hours, the wakes up again every 20 minutes. And I nurse her as much as I need to just so we all get SOME sleep. I figure those nights she maybe just missed me more during the day or is going through a growth spurt.
The book thats been the best help for us BY FAR is "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" - really practical workbook to get you to a reasonable sleeping situation. (BTW, our daughter has NOT been a good sleeper since day one, and during the first 6 months nursed CONSTANTLY... so we've made great strides!!!)

GOOD LUCK.

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H.M.

answers from Lewiston on

B.,
If she is still nursing at night, then weaning first will help her to sleep longer. I'm anti-cry it out myself, as I believe it's just against nature to let a baby cry unattended. A baby has no idea why mom isn't coming in to help, and it can have a devastating affect on some children. It may take patience and dedication, but you can gradually wean her first off her day feedings, then the night ones. Drop a feeding or two, gage how she's doing with it, and then reduce a little more over time. Typically those night feedings are the last to go.
Another way to go, a friend of mine just did this successfully. She had dad get up with baby at night and rock her back to sleep. This cut out the night feedings, and now she sleeps through the night. she is still breastfed all day, though. which brings me to my other question- is your motivation to wean just because she's one? The AAP recommends nursing for as long as you both enjoy and want to. So don't feel pressured just because she's a year old- your milk is still best! And it seems to me- if she's still night-nursing- that it's still an important part of your relationship. Eventually she will wean herself when she's ready, if continuing is an option for you.
Best of luck to you!
Blessings,
H.

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V.G.

answers from Boston on

I had the same problem with my son! My son was not sleeping through the night because he was used to the night time feedings and could only fall asleep while nursing. I tried having my husband get up with him and he just got hysterical. What I ended up doing was pushing the feedings back a little at a time. When he woke at night I would hold him but make him wait 15 minutes before nursing him. The next night I'd make him wait 30 minutes, and so on. The feeding issue was the root of the sleeping issue so I had to solve that first. It only took 2 or 3 nights before he got it amd stopped feeding at night. Unless your daughter is seriously under weight, she doesn't need to be feeding at night, but I wouldn't recommend cold turkey, either. After the night time feedings are gone you can work on training her to fall asleep on her own.

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J.W.

answers from Boston on

I think your home remodel is making things a lot difficult for your daughter. If their are too many changes going on all at once she may be scared, and more needy. Like waking up at night. She may not even need to nurse, but rather need your company. Try to cuddle with her, even if she has to sleep next to you. And let her know that she isn't going to be fed between certain hours, because it's bed time. And then stay with it. It's tough. Only feed her if absolutely necessary. The sleeping will come. If she needs you next to her to sleep for a while, I would do it. Eventually she will get it. Keep trying, and don't give up or give in. If you believe it will work, it will. She will take her cues from you. Follow your heart and all will work out.

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A.S.

answers from Bangor on

She may not sleep through the night until you stop with night feedings. Try weaning first?

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