Weaning Issues -- Any Advice?

I can't give any advice based on experience - my son loved the sippy cup and my daughter never really had a bottle at all. But I did work with infants and toddlers in day care and can offer you some advice from those experiences. First of all - don't hold the bottle for her. Second - only put water in the bottle, tell her that milk and juice go in sippy cups. Third - don't go back!!! The most important thing with children in this age range is consistency. She may throw a fit and she may "demand" her bottle, but always offer her the sippy cup first and if she still demands the bottle hand her one with water in it. It sounds like she wants that special time with you, that may be why she refuses to hold the bottle - that guarantees that you stay nearby. Maybe offer her the cup and cuddle with her while she drinks, maybe have special story time or sing so that she has that closeness with you. Good luck - remember you are the mommy and you are trying to do what's good for her - she doesn't understand that yet.

She is 15 months my daughter was off the bottles at 12mo. You are going to have to through them away and give her a sippy cup. If you keep giving in she will never give up the bottle. You have to throw them in the garbage in front of her and she will eventually drink from her sippy because she will get thirsty. If she cries then you hand her the sippy she will eventually understand she is not getting it back.

Hi E.,
I don't know if this will help you...but I hope it makes you feel better. I have a 28-month-old little girl and she still takes a bottle (mainly at night). I breastfed her until she was a year old and then I switched to the bottle and she been on it ever since. The reason I am comfortable giving her a bottle is because I know many mothers nurse their toddlers until they are up to three years old. There is no difference except for breast milk is an excellent source for anti-bodies, and nutrition, but both bottle and breast can provide comfort and bonding. My little girl finds it very comforting for me to rock her at nighttime and give her a bottle while I read, sing and pray with her until she falls asleep. It is a comfort thing for her just like a toddler who still breastfeeds. If she is ill or is going through an up-setting experience she may want me to give her a bottle then as well, just like a child who breast-feeds, all children want to be comforted by their mother.
I do have rules for the bottle, like only milk, not at restaurants, (she can use a sippy cup), Mommy or Daddy has to be holding her and she mainly gets it at night. My goal is to have her weaned off it in the next few months...but it is up to her. I will say that I have never seen a preschooler who still took a bottle. Most all children do wean of it eventually. Usually, it is when they see children of their own age doing "big kid" things that they decide, "hey, I want to do that too".
As for your child wanting you to hold the bottle, its most likely a comfort thing...enjoy it, there will come a time when she will be to 'busy' to want to sit still and let you mommy her.
I really hope this helps! It sounds like you are doing a great job, relax and enjoy!

I'm not sure what the progression of breast to bottle was, so my opinion may be totally off here. (My response would be affected by knowning at what age you weaned her/she weaned herself completely from the breast and at what point the bottle was introduced.)

Assuming that you replaced breastfeeding with bottlefeeding in the last 4-6 weeks or so (meaning transition away from breast and to a bottle occurred around the same time), then if it were my daughter, I'd question whether she was really "done breastfeeding" or was she just going through a pause/nursing strike. Nursing kids can temporarily stop breastfeeding (commonly called a "nursing strike") because of pain related to teething or illness, or just being generally too interested in the world to stop for anything (like if they're learning a great new skill like walking or new words), even for breastfeeding. Perhaps your daughter wants the bottle because she's used to breastfeeding/cuddling/being close to you, and the bottle + refusing to hold it herself is the closest substitute?

Here are some resources, in case they'd help:

When Do Children Naturally Wean?
http://parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpweaning/0,,3x0w,00.html

Is Baby Weaning or Is It a Nursing Strike?
http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBNovDec92p173.html

A Natural Age of Weaning
http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html

Weaning: How Does It Happen
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/how_weaning_happens.html

At any rate, the need to be near their parents and the need to suck are VERY strong in infants and toddlers (even past the age of 2 yrs - look at all the kids w/ pacifiers out there - pacis and bottle nipples are just artificial "breasts"), so I think it's absolutely understandable that she doesn't want to give up her afternoon bottle/cuddle time with mom. If it were me and my daughter, I'd choose not to worry about it.

Also, while weaning from the breast at 15 months of her own accord is certainly possible, it's not common. Left to their own preferences, kids typically wean between 2 - 4 years of age. Again, your daughter may well have weaned herself, and I'm sure you would be the best judge of this since you are the expert for your own child! I just wanted to give another perspective (nursing strike instead of full weaning, and that nursing well into toddlerhood is perfectly healthy) in the event that you felt pressure for your daughter to wean because of friends, family, or doctors who are unfamiliar with/unsupportive of breastfeeding past infancy. In the event that you would be open to reestablishing breastfeeding (given that both you and your daughter want to) it is likely that you are still lactating and that your daughter could well nurse if weaning occurred within the last 3 months.

Best of luck!

I never took the bottle away, but I don't think that's the answer you're looking for. My last child is 17 months old and still has her nightly bottle before bedtime. The rest of the day she has sippys or regular cups, but she's not ready to let go of that "security" of snuggling with mama before bed. I've never seen a child go to elementary school with one, so I'm letting her self-wean when she's ready.

Just some support to let you know there are no "rules" on this - baby doesn't HAVE to be off a bottle at 12 months 1 day... :D

Throw the bottles away. I replaced mine with sippy cups, make them just like you would bottles. You actually since the child is over 12months, could use vitamen D milk warmed up. I just broke my one year old and thats how I had to do it. And my now 2 year old thats how I broke him. Good luck

Hi there,

I actually took a bottle until I was 2. (Her friends gave her a hard time about it but she really didn't care). I was weaned at 18 months and my Mom never supplemented. When we went away for the summer, my Mom said we could paint my room and get a big girl bed. I was very excited. But then she told me that big girls don't drink out of bottles. Apparently, when we arrived home, I climbed up to the cabinets, got my bottles and threw them away. She let me make the decision on my own and it was really easy. Point is, she's probably not ready to give it up. The sucking instinct is still strong at that age. My daughter is 14 months old and I'm at the very last stages of weaning her. She never took a bottle so I don't have the same issue but she sucks on the straw from her sippy cup. Some of my friends have babies that are also 14 and 15 months and they are still using a bottle. It's just a comfort thing.

Hope that helps! By the way- did you experience a HUGE shift in hormones when you were weaning? I find that somedays I am just soooo depressed.

I agree with the other mom that there is rule on that. My toddler is 19 months and loves her bottle, actually is the only way she drinks milk. I don't see anything wrong with it, and our pediatrician whom is also a mom of 3 says that it's up to her. Use your best judgment and good luck.

My son also nursed & used bottles, though at the same time. He too NEVER held his own bottle (by my choice). Some things you can try to wean the bottle are to decrease the volume in the bottle an ounce per week, or you can dilute it with water a little bit each week. Bedtime or naptime bottles are usually the last to go. You can also try substituting a sip cup in place of the bottle. If your daughter likes the bottle more than 1x per day, pick the one time that you feel is easiest, first. Some kids love their bottle like a stuffed animal or pacifier. It's a comforting thing for them. Each one has different needs and is ready to give old behaviors when it's right for them.
S.

Dear E.

I went through the same phase.My daughter didn't touch a bottle.She loved breast feeding and me too till certain point.It was easy for infections etc.She started drinking from sippy cups .The breastfeeding before night was difficult to stop. We started telling stories and divert the mind. Give plenty of exercise so she gets tired.Give yougurt cheese if she is not getting enough milk for sometime. Remember you gave her the excellent gift which a mother can give so be proud.

Love C. Sengupta

My son did the same thing to me. Once he was done nursing he did not want me to take his bottle away. He knew which cabinet we kept all the bottles in....so when it was time for his bottle I told him they were all gone. He went to the kitchen and pointed to the cabinet. I opened up the cabinet to show him and sure enough they were all gone. (The night before I got them all out and packed them up!) I told him the bottles were all gone and if he wanted milk I would put it in a cup for him. Of course he threw a fit, but ended up taking the cup. We went through the same routine for a few days, but he eventually stopped asking for the bottle and took his cup with no problems at all.

Hope this helps!
M.

My son wouldn't swap to sippys for the longest time. I finally found a type of sippy called a Nuby at Walmart. It has more of a sport bottle top in a soft silicone mimicing a bottle. We tried those, a month later were on sports bottles (save water bottles for this), and within another month he was on sippys.

As for her not holding her own bottle, you may want to try a modifed Ferber method with it. (yes, I am aghast at this idea, but it does work...I hate making kids wait on me for their comfort... but, again, it does work.)

The first time she asks for her bottle, set it in front of her and walk away. Give her five minutes. If she still hasn't picked it up or tries to hand it to you, give it to her.
Each time after that, wait two extra minutes. It helps if you are doing something so she thinks you are merely busy and not ignoring her. I found this to be good time to start a load of laundry, load the dishwasher, clean the bathroom, etc... (on the plus side, I got a chore out of the way without having to make time for it later.) If she asks you to hold it, just suggest nicely if she's thirsty, she can hold her own bottle and you'll come help her hold in when you are done.

By the time you get to about fifteen minutes, she will have the idea.

If she has milk in that afternoon bottle give her water instead.....then try milk in a cup.. I weaned my children from nursing to cups, I skipped the bottle thing altogether..Take her and let her pick her own big girl cup....Nuby brand cups are great soft tops like a bottle..available at walmart...I am a mom of 4 kids...Katelynn age 7, Makenzie age 4, Mayah will be 2, and Roman my one and only boy age 7 months....

Try a sippy cup. I weaned both of my kids straight to a sippy cup with milk. If she hasn't had one before, give it a try when she's not that hungry. Sometimes it takes them a little while to figure it out. If she's 15 months old, she's ready for milk if you want her to drink that. Figure out which nursing sessions you'd like to cut out and substitute a sippy cup. I did this for months before my kids were completely weaned, leaving the morning and night time nursing sessions for last. Hope that helps! Congrats for breastfeeding this long! Great job!

E.,

This may sound kind of harsh, but at 12 mos I just took the bottle away completely. I knew that Brendan could drink from a sippy cup and my pediatrian strongly recommended that the bottle be gone after 12 mos. Amazingly, it went pretty smooth. I did miss the cuddle time we had with the bottle-- but Brendan would still let me hold him and drink his milk in the morning and before going to bed. Will she drink from a sippy cup? I started with the nubbs (sp?) cups, which you can get pretty much anywhere, they kind of resemble the look/feel of a bottle. If she won't drink from a sippy cup, start introducing it, at 15 mos she will probably pick it up quickly. Good luck!!!

Hi E.,

Okay, this will sound mean, but we had wonderful success by just getting rid of the bottle. It was a difficult few days, but the crying/tantrums only lasted a few days and my toddler is very strong willed. My girlfriend transitioned her toddler from the bottle to sippy cups instead of regular cups and she said she also had a hard time for a few days - she took her toddler shopping to help pick out her "special" new cup and thought that made a difference. Good luck!

My daughter has been having a hard time giving up her bottle as well, and is perfectly happy having me hold it for her, too! I solved that by putting her in the highchair, and holding the bottle out for her, but not putting it in her mouth. Once she realized that the only way she was going to get it was to hold it with her hands, she held it. Sometimes I would have to put it in her mouth for a few sucks, and then take it out before she would put her hands up to hold it, but she always did! Initially I did the same thing, but while holding her. It does seem to work better in the highchair, and actually, she doesn't even hesitate to take the bottle anymore. Have you considered just skipping the bottle and going to either a sippy cup or a regular cup? That is what you want her to learn anyway, and she is definitely at the right age to be able to use one. I'm still working with my daughter to use one, so I just substitute one bottle for a sippy cup every day. Also, if she tends to chew on the sippy cups, I've found the Toss and Go sippy cups work really well- there isn't a soft part to chew on like the Nuby's, and the flow is slower than the Playtex ones without the valves (with the valves they are too hard to get anything out). Or, The First Years also makes other non-disposable cups with a similar top- see their website.

I'd try a sippy cup, hold it out for her, and wait for her to take it, and if she doesn't after getting a few sucks, then put it in front of her and walk away. She'll figure it out. If the sippy cup doesn't work, try the same thing with the bottle until she holds it on her own, and then transition to sippy cups. Also, try offering it to her before she eats her meals- she'll be more hungry and more willing to cooperate.

Hi E., what is wrong with an afternoon bottle? Try laying her down with her bottle and see if she will hold it. If not then she does not want it that bad. Be patient and show her to hold it herself. She is still very young to give up the bottle all together. I think, but I may be wrong, check with your pediatrician. My kids took a nap with their bottles until they were 3 years old. They are great, 24 years old, 23 years old and 7 years old. Good Luck and God Bless. S.

I know this probably won't sound good but, you want her to wean but yet she won't hold her own bottle. Are you REALLy having a problem figuring out what to do??

From the respones you already recieved, they have been very sound and thorough. Choose a plan that works for you, and will make both you and your child happy and content. I find nothing is that easy unless you work very hard at it. Whatever you may choose to do remember CONSISTENCY, is the key to it all! Also every child is an individual(and parent), so what works for one is not necessarily going to work for you, or even for future children! I