Weaning My 13 Month Old

Could you try holding & snuggling her while she drinks a sippy cup or bottle? At least she can get used to the "venue change" and be more familiar with the cups. Maybe what she's really craving is that special mom-time you two have been sharing! Good luck to you!

She may not be ready. at 13 months there is still a lot of attachment issues going on. offer her other things as sources of comfort, than try aagain in a few months. with the weather changing, take her outside to distract her when she wants to nurse. try giving her filling foods before she wants to nurse.

Nursing vs. not nursing really doesn't have anything to do with "independence." Nursing is just one way of having closeness, and we certainly wouldn't think that our spouce is not "independent" just because he wants some physical contact. So really, if you aren't feeling that you want or "need" to wean for your own sanity or personal space, I would encourage you not to push it. I know when I was pregnant the first time I thought nursing past a year was "odd," but then I nursed my first daughter for 14.5 months...and that was the shortest I nursed any of my 4 children.

At 13 months old, its not like you can really "reason" with your child about weaning--I know that some moms when they push weaning will put bandaids on their nipples and explain to the child that the "nursees need a rest," but as I said...13 months is too young for this to make sense to your daughter.

What I would encourage you to do is to stop offering a bottle/sippy cup as a "replacement," because while nursing is about nutrition, it doesn't sound like that is what it is about to your daughter right now. It is more about nurture for her. So try to replace nursing with activities to be close to each other. If you know about what time she would expect to nurse, a bit before that time start playing a game, coloring, playing with Play Doh, or something else to have some "mommy and me" time. You might try rocking in a rocking chair, although that might cause your daughter to want to nurse.

Good luck!

J.,
Congratulations and welcome to motherhood! I nursed all four of my children and they just knew when it was time to wean. I think your daughter's insistence on nursing is more she wants to be close to you than actually getting the nutrition. My advice is to just relax and enjoy. She will eventually stop nursing. My youngest nursed until he was almost two and although I was certainly ready to stop I am so glad I didn't stop before he was ready.

Your daughter will grow so quickly and so I would relish this time. You are building a lifelong bond with her. My youngest son is now l9 and a freshman in college. Looking back now, weaning him was such a simple lovely problem! Good luck!

I know this is probably difficult but I think it also sounds very cute :) My daughter also does the milk sign when she is ready for her milk in the morning, she was weaned about a month and a half ago (right at one). It was a little easier for us because she was already drinking a bottle of pumped milk at night and using cups for water. I started mixing pumped milk with whole and gradually cut back on feedings. My body quickly stopped making milk and when the pumped milk was all used up she was switched to whole milk. Maybe you could offer a little more of the whole milk since she stills seems hungry, and during the day she could even have a snack with her milk. Since she seems to understand a lot you could explain that she is drinking milk from her cup/bottle like a big girl :) Maybe even show her the milk when you pour it and explain that it is her new milk? And just try to cut back on the breast feeding one at a time. Also maybe it would help if some of the time someone else gave her the bottle and you were not in the area, when we first started giving Emma pumped milk in the bottle I could not be anywhere near her or she would not take it. good luck to you! she will get it :)

I agree that you shouldn't force her to wean .. however, you can make your milk less desirable. Eating broccoli and other foods from that family can make your milk taste less appealing. Cuddle more with her when she's not nursing, and let her know that you are always there for her, no matter what. If you are nursing her 3x/day, cut out the middle one and only nurse at night and in the morning. That frees you up for the day .. and she'll know she's got something to look forward to all day! Both my kids self-weaned around a year, one a bit over, one a bit under. I held them while teaching them to drink from a sippy, so it had the same emotional component. Hope this is helpful.

J., I am going through the same with my 15 month old girl. My son was not like this we had to go cold turkey, because 11 days after his chickenpox vaccine, he got a mild case and I got Shingles, and had to take an anti viral--no more nursing. So it will be like my first time weaning properly. I am told, just cut one feeding out a week and substitute, and redirect to an activity.... it is HARD to do. Good luck.
M.

You have to just cut her off, if that's what you really want. Who knows when she'll decide that she is done with breastfeeding. If you take the approach of letting her decide, you may one day be sitting there with a 5 year old still asking for your breast, which I have seen.

Hi, I am a homeschooling SAHM to three children. A 19 month son, 3 1/2 year daughter, and 7 1/2 daughter. My advice is to let your daughter show you what she needs. If she is expressing that she is not ready to wean, I would continue to let her nurse. I honostly let my children wean themselves. My first daughter nursed until she was three. Nursing is not only a time for nourishment, but aso a great source of comfort and bonding. Your daughter may be feeling that you are trying to get her less dependant on nursing, but is now requesting more for it to make sure she knows you are there for her. I think our children are very powerful teachers for us. My biggest piece of advice is to follow your heart and what you feel is best for you and your daughter, not what some doctor or book or guidelines say. Our children will only be small for so long.

Hello,

I think that you just have to make the switch. I know it is hard, but maybe try to limit it to a couple of times a day, then go down to once a day, then down to none... I also recommend no bottle! She is old enough now...for sippy cups only. If you do the bottle, then you will have to wean her from that as well. She will cry but she will adjust sooner then you think. You can do it! Be strong.

I know that my advise is very different then the other mothers, I do understand that nursing is important. I nursed both of my girls. But I also understand how demanding it is, if you think it is time to wean... that matters too! You are wonderful mother for breastfeeding your child in this first year of her life! If you feel it is time for her to be independent, then it is time.

Good luck.

Hi Jen -

My son is 14 months old, BFs all day long. I've also decided it's time. My heart's just not into it anymore and I don't want my son to feel the resentment. Kellymom.com is helpful. We're starting with his least resistant nursing and will role back from there. I'm planning on taking advantage of the good weather and his new found independence and curiousity as a walker. I also feel that these little creatures are astute enough to understand a bit if we talk to them. They may not like the idea, but they will appreciate the respect if we recognize their feelings.
Best wishes and congrats on being a great mom!

It WON'T get easier later! If you are certain you are going to ween by summer, the sooner you start the better. No matter when you do it, you will have to put your foot down and deny the nursing and let her cry it out until she understands it's truly over. You can be supportive and kind about it and replace it with something else fun, but you'll have to be firm. If you give in, you'll still be nursing. Good luck!

It sounds like she needs the comfort of nursing and that is big for her emotional well being. In my experience is that weaning is a two steps forward one step back, gradual process. As you give more table foods babies need less Mommy milk, your milk supply becomes less, then nursing, say at night, can be more of a closeness thing. You might also consider a pacifier during the day if you don't feel like nursing (helps satisfy the sucking reflex). Careful though, you might not have a period and find yourself pregnant. It just happened to my daughter. It was a pleasant surprise. :) Keep nursing as long as possible... it's a good thing!
Good luck,
N

Weaning can be very emotional for both parites. When I was weaning my now 3 year old at 12 months I was nervous. I started substituing the sippy cup, I agree a bottle is asking for another step in the weaning process. I felt that she wanted the one on one time with me and the quite down time so I would sit in the chair we nursed in and read a couple of quiet stories instead and then rocked awhile. I started with one feeding and then the next and so on until we worked our way to the last night nursing. This really worked for us. I will soon be doing it again with my now 9 month old so I hope it goes as smoothly. Yes, I recieved opposition on the behalf of my first but I kept at it and in a couple of days she got the idea and seems to look forward to that quiet reading time, even now at age 3.

Your daughter sounds like she's not ready to be weaned yet. Try kellymom.com for good tips on weaning toddlers. Child-led weaning is what we're trying at home. I like the tip on don't offer/don't refuse. Check it out and good luck!

Your daughter is looking for security, not food. Keep encouraging her to use the cup. A bottle isn't necessary at her age. Encourage her independence in self feeding too. Yes, it is messy, but think of the small muscle development and coordination she is learning! THe more you encourage her and give her permission to grow up, the more independent she will become. If she is the clinging type, give her a substitute cuddler: a special stuffed animal or blankie. Hold it snuggly with her when you do nurse her, so eventually when you stop she will still have a security item with her. Some children just need that security item.
Keep her busy during the day. When she comes to you after eating, she may be tired and nursing is her rest period, so plan for naps. Last nursing at night is the toughest to give up because they are very tired and want the security to relax and fall asleep.
Weaning will take a few weeks.

About me: Mom of 5 - all nursed. 4 weaned around 12-13 months- their choice, 1 weaned at 17 months because I said so. He's now 30-- and still is a cuddler!

Hi J.,

Congratulations on nursing your daughter for 13 months. It is such a wonderful gift that you have been able to give to your daughter. Most people recommend that weaning is done slowly over a period of several months and with lots of love. It can be very emotional for a little one to wean - especially when they aren't ready. I found with my son that his requests to nurse were very situational. If I was sitting in a chair where we always nursed, he would ask to nurse - or if I held him in a way that reminded him of nursing he would ask. When I avoided those "trigger" places and positions, he stopped asking quite as much. You may want to see if you have trigger locations or positions with your daughter as well. My son was a little older 18 months or so) when he was able to understand enough that he had to wait to nurse until later or until we were at home. Your daughter may not be ready to wean - but it is important that both of you want to continue the nursing relationship, so if you are ready to be done, then it is best to start with a gentle leaning process so that it doesn't affect your daughter and also meets your goal of wanting to be done by summer. Here is a link that may help you:

Kelly mom: <http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/how_weaning_happens.ht...;

J.

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