I am invited to a wedding next month. I have just received a shower invitation as well. It is for an old friend, but not necessarily a close friend. I do want to celebrate her wedding with her, and don't mind buying a gift, but two gifts? I did not have a wedding shower, because to me it felt greedy asking people to give me two gifts. Do I just do two small gifts? Can I give one larger gift at the shower, and just a card at the wedding? Can I just not go to the shower and not send a gift? I'm really not a "wedding" person, so I don't know what I am supposed to do. I'm not even sure what a reasonable amount to spend is. She is 40, and it is her first marriage, but it is his third marriage. They have combined households, so I am sure they already have twice as much "stuff" as they need!
I agree with the last answer - I've always bought a shower gift and thought that was appropriate for the shower and wedding.
Two separate events, two separate gifts. If you are not close with the bride, then do not attend the shower. You do not need to send along a gift if you do not attend. Attend the wedding and bring your gift then. You don't show up to a wedding without a gift.
Showers are very common and really have nothing to do with "greed".
First of all, you don't HAVE to do anything. If people chose to not attend my wedding or shower, I never expected a gift. Some people still sent one and that was nice too. If you don't want to go to the events, it would be nice to send one gift, maybe closer to the time of the wedding. Pick something off the registry and a card that just says congrats on your wedding
Send a wedding gift and send your regrets for the shower. If you aren't a close friend, I don't think you need to give a shower gift, unless you want to.
I've never heard of doing two gifts. I always understood that if you went to the shower, your gift was given then, not at the wedding.
The shower is for the bride to be...usually naughty gifts are the theme for the night and can be quite fun.
The wedding present is for the couple.
If you don't want to go, then don't go. it's really up to you.
Seems to me that it's standard to have 3 gift events for a wedding. A shower gift for the bride, a bachelorette party - naughty stuff gift, and a wedding gift. Sometimes the shower is a theme like lingerie or recipes. If you are on a budget get two lesser priced gifts.
Totally your call. If you run across something that you think that she/they would greatly enjoy, then give it. Otherwise, just show up and celebrate with them.
You are not obligated to send a gift if you do not attend the event. But, I believe you shouldn't show up without a gift.
If you decide to attend both, I'd get something personal for the shower - a gift card towards a mani/pedi/massage/facial perhaps (doesn't have to be the full amount, just a monetary value you are comfortable spending at a nice salon that offers a variety of services).
I hate shopping wedding registries! If they have a standard-sized wedding invitation, I will buy a nice frame to put it in. Do you have other friends that share a similar relationship with the bride? You can both go in on a larger gift together, too - a personalized something (personalcreations.com is a great site).
Bottom line, it isn't about the money you spend, it's the thought behind the gift that matters. At least, that's my opinion.
If you go to the shower, you need a gift. It doesn't have to be expensive. We had a huge shower in a small town - half the town was invited, but many bought a napkin or fork/spoon/knife off of our registry in that town. That's a little extreme, but if they're registered you could get several 2-3 dollar items and put them in a nice gift bag. Not too expensive.
If they're not registered, I would do a gift card for the wedding. You're right - they have a lot of stuff, probably, but may want some things that are "theirs." I would do $20. Not enough to break the bank, but not too cheap, either:)
If you attend both events, two gifts. If you only go to one, one gift.
