Wedding Thank You Cards? - Granby,CT

hello
anytime with in a year "they" say ... << I guess those are the professionals of etiquette... However, I say...... nonsense.. if someone makes the time to go out and get you a gift, you can make the time to say thank you...........

I say no more than a couple of months if that.. I did mine within that first couple of weeks. now granted, I am more organized than some when it comes to those things, but I knew with 200 people at my wedding, I'd better get to them asap.. for which I did.... was also glad to get them done.

Etiquette does state one year, but I agree that anything over 2 or 3 months is tacky. I'm still waiting for a thank you from my brother's wedding in August. I have a weird feeling that at this point they'll combine their Christmas cards with a thank you ("Merry Christmas! And by the way, thank you for the lovely wedding gift!"), which I think is SO wrong, too.

Unfortunately, some people fail to send thank-yous, so if you are on the receiving end I would not hold my breath for too long. If it comes, be pleased. I have attended weddings where we did not receive a written thank-you, and while it is still considered very impolite and should be considered part of the wedding expenses that are expected, it is becoming more common. I think there were three people we did not get them sent to, either because we did not secure addresses or because I could NOT for the life of me get my husband to sign them. I have gotten terrible with written thank-yous since having kids for many reasons and feel awful about it. I used to send them to my in-laws even before we had kids thanking them for everything, including having us for a visit. Shame on me (and I feel it), but again, I would not really "wait" for one.

I had so many people fail to return RSVPs for our wedding, or send a "congratulations" note on the back of the RSVP but no card later on (this included family). I guess I learned not to expect anything on any side of a wedding. =)

I have an interesting twist on many of the comments below. Personally, I was always raised by my parents (my father was more liberal then mother) to not 'be squeezed' into molds, especially those that seem to be created by a commercial world to make people spend money. And then have them looked down upon as being RUDE if they don't spend money for expensive printed cards and flowers and such. There is a big difference between a RUDE couple, and someone who thanks you graciously for coming and thanks you in person for your gift. I, personally think a whole lot more of a personal 'thank you' from my friends heart, then a printed thank you from Hallmark. I feel the same about other cards, and 'commercial flowers'. I love to see a fresh bunch of flowers that my hubby stopped to pick on his way home for me- it means so much more to me! ;) When we got married- my hubby and I received thank you cards with our invitations- so since we had them...He put them in the trunk of my car, and we both assumed the other person mailed them...about a year later I found them. I mailed out some to some older family members/grandmothers who I know are sticklers on this and I knew would be unable to understand any line of thinking or reasoning different then this, and the rest I never sent. But I had personally and as a couple thanked each person at the event- and I thanked them in person as well when we saw them next. Right or wrong- I won't know, everyone will have their own opinion. But for me, I will raise my children the same way- to be respectful and polite, and whole heartedly thank anyone who their heart moves them too- and spending money never equals 'better' manners or 'more' thankfulness.
Now I am going to run for cover and let the mommas storm! ;)

Hi L.,

I attended a wedding in June and received the thank you note today, lol. I don't think any bride is taught what is appropriate anymore. I'm not even sure that some brides know that a thank you note is expected!!!

The best hope we have is to teach our children...

M.

There are different answers, but in my opinion, it should be 3 months. I had a friend who believes you have an entire year to send a thank you note! That is ridiculous! So much can happen in a year - you could have baby or even get divorced!! That is crazy to think you have an entire year. I never understood that. 3 months is my rule.

see edit - I meant to write 1-2 weeks not 12!

I think it is within 12 weeks when it the gift is sent prior to the wedding or 2 weeks after they return from the honeymoon. Personally I wouldn't care if it took a month or two, although I am always in awe of people who send them promptly.

Sadly, some people don't write thank you notes. One bride even told me she had a year, but that iis NOT true - guest have a year to send a gift :)

The couple has 1 year to send out thank you notes.

The etiquette is one year.

We got married on a Friday in the town we grew up in. We had 75 at our wedding/reception.
On Saturday we drove back to our apartment (8 hrs away), wrote/mailed Thank You cards for gifts/checks/money, unpacked, repacked for honeymoon on Sunday, and flew to St Lucia for a week beginning on Monday.
Anytime within a year is acceptable, but within a month is the norm.

Sorry to say that very few young people have been raised with any knowledge of etiquette at all. Everyone is on the computer and they don't know how to write thank you notes! If they don't have your email, they don't do a thing.

They are SO concentrated on the gift registry as if your gift is your price of admission to the event of the century. Usually the parents do the invitation lists and half the time the addresses are computer generated, so no one ever puts pen to paper.

There is a general "one year" time frame for giving a wedding gift, and a lot of people have a "one year" window for thank yous. But it's unlikely to happen if they aren't done in the first 3 months, frankly.

If you mailed the gift, you could ask if they received it. If you took it to the wedding, that's a problem sometimes - someone has to be responsible for hauling everything out of there and getting things home. Sometimes cards get separated from gifts. Our friends' daughter had all of her "envelopes" stolen by someone at the wedding - either a guest or a waiter. So all her cash is gone. But the parents contacted all the guests and asked them, explaining that if they didn't get a thank you, that's why. However, in your case, I would say it's unlikely that this happened in 2 different weddings. I never take gifts to weddings anyway because of the hassle it causes the recipients, and now I always ship things with a return receipt and insurance.

They have a year. If you are concerned, you could call them or the brides mother, just to verify they received the gift..

My personal story is that my thank you cards are very long personal letters. No,"Thank you for your support and sharing our day with us". I hate those impersonal thank you cards. Once I even got one and we hadn't sent them our gift yet!
So, when my wedding thank you's came up - some folks got them in 2 months - some 7 months later. My best friend saw the photo collage we used on my fridge and asked "what's that?" Her's was literally and honestly lost in the mail. Worse yet - upon moving (it's been 3 years) i was cleaning out drawers and came across my lists and extra cards - only to find the last 10 names not crossed off. I don't know if I didn't cross them off or didn't write those last 10 cards. I'm trying to figure out what to do about THAT! lol.

I guess my point, is to not hold onto it too much. I didn't receive thank you cards from several weddings I've attended and it bothered me the first time, but I know it's not personal. Weddings are a lot of work and a lot of money and some times it's hard to stay in "duty role" once it's all over. My best intentions have still failed 10 individuals in my life. I can only trust why I supported those folks in the first place and not worry about formalities, b/c people are human and time goes by quickly. Most of us give gifts to show the couple our support and help with the expense of the party and I've been to many weddings where our "average" gift didn't begin to make a return to the couple for how they spoiled their guests - and I believe most couples aren't expecting that. So, an additional thank you card after all is said and done is thoughtful, polite, yes, but not a deal breaker in any friendship.

p.s.
we cashed our checks immediately, b/c we had to pay our balances off for the wedding.

I'm an organized freak. I had everything all ready and had half my thank you cards done two right after the gift opening and mailed the rest out from Las Vegas on our honeymoon. My guests had their thank you cards before we came home. People still talk about how fun our wedding was and how fast I mailed the thanks you's out! That was nearly 19 years ago!

I believe technically it is said a year is acceptable. Personally, I think more than a month or two is rude.

Etiquette says... The new Bride and Groom have up to a year to send out thank you cards for gifts.
I remember my husband and I doing ours in shifts and batches.. .took a long time!

Updated

Etiquette says... The new Bride and Groom have up to a year to send out thank you cards for gifts.
I remember my husband and I doing ours in shifts and batches.. .took a long time!

Updated

Etiquette says... The new Bride and Groom have up to a year to send out thank you cards for gifts.
I remember my husband and I doing ours in shifts and batches.. .took a long time!