Wet Beds .............rough Mornings.......

My oldest son did not stay dry at night until age 7, my second is almost 7 1/2 and still not dry at night, and my youngest son is 3 1/2 and still not dry at night. (My daughter is not potty trained yet.) I tried absolutely everything. restriciting fluid, food, constant bathrooming, you name it, we tried it. Finally after tons of frustration and even more laundry, we resorted to pull-ups and time. Finally my oldest is dry, my second is getting there, and my youngest, who knows! Lots of praise when they stay dry and make them strip the wet sheets (the pull-ups are not full proof, they leak) and have them help you remake the bed, or do it themselves if they are old enough.

I would consider using diapers or pull-ups until she stays dry through a nap or through the night. A friend of mine had success carrying his kids to the bathroom around 11pm, before he went to bed. Good luck.

I wet the bed until I was 8. My oldest stopped at 6. I know you don't like pull ups but I swear by them. I feel bad for my mom who had to change the sheets every morning and sometimes in the middle of the night when I was growing up.
She will grow out of it, but for your sanity( and your water bills from laundry every day) use pull ups.
Good luck.

Hi J. ( :
Don't stress. I know it's frustrating but there are a few things that may help before you jump to the conclusion of stress or weak bladder. Have you tried not letting her drink say 2 hours before her bedtime? My little girl who is 5 had the same problem. I thought it may be stress from when we moved but I found that trying these few little things seems to have helped like 95%. She goes to bed at 9 so is not allowed to have anything to drink after 7p. If she's really thirsty then a sip of water before bed. If that doesn't work alone then you can try to take her once during the night. I've done this before with my daughter if I know she's had something to drink too late. I just pick her up, even if she's sleeping, put her on the potty and she goes. She's half asleep but it's ok because then I put her right back in bed. I even do this if she's fallen asleep for a nap and I know she's had a lot to drink before she's fallen asleep. Children's bladders are not that big so sometimes they can't make it through the night or even through a nap. I think the English call this practice "lifting." Anyway, the not giving her a drink a few hours before bedtime and making sure she tries to go potty one last time even before bedtime is HUGE! I don't ask her if she has to, or wants to go, we just always try! I let her sit there a few minutes and she usually goes. I also did use the sticker chart and rewards with regular potty training but I'm assuming she is potty trained and only having accidents. Just make sure you give her a lot of positive reinforcement. Tell her how proud you are of her on the mornings she wakes up dry. My last suggestion is to buy a waterproof cover for her bed so you can machine wash it and the urine doesn't soak through to the mattress. If it continues though you should consult your pediatrician and discuss your concerns. Good Luck and things will get better don't worry.

I had this same problem with my daughter - and pull ups do not help. I tried that "suggestion" and all that did was want my daughter to pee more because she liked the design on the pullups. So what I did was buy ugly regular pullups for her to wear (which were cheap and uncomfortable) and bought pretty underwear for her to wear. I also didn't let her drink any liquids 2 hours before bedtime. In no time she was good through the night and wearing the grown up girl underwear. She still has the occasional accident when she is extremely tired, but those are very few. I hope this helps.

hello. I am a 26, almost 27 year old mother to two daughters ages 8 and 5. I never had a problem with my older daughter, but my younger daughter lately has been having accidents. I know how frustrating it can get having to do all the extra laundry. My doctor started out by telling me to stop letting her drink any liquids about 2 hours before she went to bed. That seems to work, as long as i make sure she goes potty right before she goes to bed.
Also, my doctor also did tests, a renal ultrasound, to see if she had any internal signs of something being wrong. My neice has had a renal scan, and a renal ultrasound. I can't remember what exactly it is that she has, but if this continues you might want to talk to your doctor about possibly having those tests done to see if the problem lies somewhere inside, and possibly she has no control over it...i hope this helps you somewhat...goodluck!

Hi J.

It is frustrating to do so much laundry. And I agree with pull ups not being ideal for potty training. My daughter has been really easy to train. Just woke up form a nap saying she wanted underpants. She's basically been dry since....in underpants. I do however make a couple exceptions for my own sanity. If we are going to be in the car for a long time or out someplace that getting to a bathroom in time for her to make it isn't reasonable, I put her in a pull-up. I just feel it's not worth the pressure on her and for me to have unnecessary messes to deal with and stress me out too. The other time we use them is at nap and nighttime. My daughter is still young - 3 next month. I have heard that for some children, their bladders and maturity just takes a long time and there really isn't anything you or they can do to force it. In order to make your life easier and maybe make your child feel less stressed in the am, perhaps it'd be worth considering pull-ups. Try to think of them as tools instead of "quitting" or "cheeting."

Good Luck

My son is going to be four in September and still goes to the bathroom at night, often without waking up. Although I have stuck with pull ups at night, it is definately not the only way to go! I use them because when my son wakes up wet he is very upset with himself and difficult to get back to sleep. One idea that I have heard to at least make things easier on you is to put two sets of sheets on the bed. Put a waterproof liner down first, then a fitted sheet, followed by another liner and another fitted sheet. That way if she wets at night at least you aren't stuck digging sheets out of the closet and remaking the bed at night. A friend of mine used to get her son up before she went to bed (between 10 and 11) and make him go to the bathroom. It helped stop him from wetting the bed at night. She said that for a while after he stopped needing to go to the bathroom at that time to make it through the night he would still get up, but it was worth it to not have to wash sheets every night. I think that there are a lot of ways to make it happen, you just have to try different things to figure out what is best for your individual child. Good luck!

i have to agree with sarah k. my daughter is 4 1/2 andhas been potty trained in the day sinceshe was really young. however, she still wets at night and i have been trying to break this also. we just went to a check up andthe doctr saidsometimes their bladder just aren't ready and its totlaly out of their control. so now we do acknowledge the dry mornings and she does wear pullups. but she is just as excited to be dry. it's almost unfair to stress them out ove this issue.in time their bladders will allow them to stay dry. in the mean while just try to be patient because they don't like to be wet either they just cant help it. good luck!!!

I agree with Leah. It could be stress. I had a girlfriend who wet the bed until she was about 20years old she thought she had a disorder but it was just stress from the fact that her & her mother didn’t get along that great. It’s hard for us as woman because we have so much on our plate. Stress is always a big factor and sometimes the smallest thing can get to us.
Don’t forget this is a 4 year old that you can talk to and she can understand. I would explain to her all the down sides to wetting the bed. I don’t know if you have a little nickname for her or not but I would tell her that princesses don’t wet the bed. I agree I would not use the pull ups either when my son was potty training I refused. You can try other things like getting some type of mat to put under her sheets and don’t tell her, you want her to think she still have the same freedoms and for the couch get her a sleeping bag and only let her sleep on that. I don’t know what method your using but I use to put my son on the potty about 5-10 minutes after he ate or drank anything even if he didn’t have to go it might be a little annoying at first buy it trained his body that if he didn’t drink or eat he didn’t have to go, so an hour before bed no more liquids. My son is now 7 and only had 2-bed wetting exposes sense he was trained at about 15 months.

Good luck some children just need more help.

I wet the bed until i was in my late teens..it was very frusterating. I wasn't doing it on purpose either. What helped is my mom got absorbant pads (about 2x2 feet) to put on the bed over the sheet. I think they are hospital type supply, something like these http://fisher.directhme.com/Incontinence/Underpads-Reusable/ and not that expensive. Just strip off the wet one and put a dry one on. Then you just have to wash the pads.
I went to a urologist that suggested I ate brewers yeast and molasses mixed together and also do keigels to strengthen my pelvic muscles. Now thankfully I don't wet the bed.

most of my suggestions were already mentioned- limit fluids, take in the middle of the night... the only other thing we did with a 4 yr old was bribery...stickers dont work for my kids but chocolate does. if he went to sleep on his own without getting out of bed he got 2 more chocolate chips on his waffle, if he didnt wet his bed he got 2 more. im not saying this is great parenting, but it did work since he was a bit lazy... his baseline was a bunch of chocolate chips anyway, so he was never deprived of his chips and we didnt deal with tantrums. we still take our 5 & 3 yr old in the middle of the night tho.
i do use waterproof pads under the sheets, and i must admit if they do wet in the middle of the night i just scoot them over or flip them around. also, they can only nap on the older couch full of stains of all kinds!
E.

I grew up as a bed wetter, and it's difficult. I wet my bed until I was 12. If you don't want to use an alarm, I would suggest you set your alarm and go in and wake her at least once during the night. Remember she isn't doing this on purpose and don't make her feel guilty about it. She already does feel that way and pressure from you won't help the situation. I remember as a child I would see myself getting out of bed and going into the bathroom, of course I was just dreaming and I would wet my bed. I parents got the alarm and that is how I stopped. We tried everything...no milk or anything to drink before bed. Nothing worked. I know that you don't want to go back to not sleeping through the night yourself, but you don't have much of choice here. The alarm works great because it's like conditioning (Ya know Pavlov's dog), this works because even after she stops using it, it sets a trigger in her brain that will wake her when she starts to pee.

Here are some more tips to try (I have had two bedwetters so far)

*food makes you urinate more than liquids.eliminating food 2hrs before bed has better results than just eliminating liquids!

*stretch their bladder. Give her BIG glasses of water to drink during the day. The more she drinks, the more she can eventually hold.

*take them to the potty about every two hours before you konk out for the night.

*get 2 waterproof mattress pads..(they don't need to be plastic anymore! I found a great one through the catalogue Brylane Homes.)

* Make the bed in this order..pad; sheets; pad; sheets. This way, when there is an accident you can just rip off the top layer and put her back to bed without fumbling around a 2 in the A.M.! Also***have HER strip her own bed, it makes them responsible for what they did.

* Lastly..get used to it, and grin and bear it! It may continue for awhile!

Okay, sometimes wetting the bed is a sign of 1. Stress, or 2. Control. You mentioned that you were getting married and there will be step-children coming into the family? Well to a young girl, she sees this and thinks that that is two more people who she will have to compete with for your attention. She also still loves her Dad and she may be feeling guilt about loving the step-dad, or be angry that you two are not together anymore. My suggestion is to sit down and talk with her about her feelings in general. Also, you may want to set aside some one-on-one time with her (I know it is hard, but that may do the trick).
On the practical side, help her out. Before she goes to bed, send her in to the bathroom, whether it is for nap or for bedtime. Also, reduce the amount of liquids about an hour before bedtime. This will reduce the amout of liquid in her bladder and may help as well.
Good luck.

My son is 6 and still does it at nightime. What has worked for me is waking up 2x a night to go to the bathroom. Sometimes he surprises me and doesn't wet all night. The key is to limit drinking liquids after 6 or 7 pm. During the day, he does not do that but I would suggest putting her to pee right before she takes a nap. Time it--every 2 hours if possible--remind her to pee. Hope this helps.

It does get frustrating. One of my twins (fraternal, not identical) was the same way at that age. Unfortunately in our case, her little body was just not developed enough to be able to "hold it in" through the night. We were wisely told not to make a big deal out of it because making her feel ashamed about something completely beyond her control would do no good and could harm her. We used pull ups (which she wanted no part of, but reluctantly wore) and as her bladder and brain developed the issue went away on its own. It does get frustrating, but remember that few kids go off to college still wetting the bed...it will pass with time.

Hi J.,
I can't help with the bed wetting itself, but with the wetting of the mattress. Did you try putting a cover on the bed. When my boyfriend got a new bed for his daughter that was the first thing that we bought.
She has accidents once in a while, a lot more lately. What he does is, makes her practice going to the bathroom. She doesn't go because she either wants to do something else (during the day) or doesn't wake up. He got the book pottry trained in a day. After he makes her practice, the accidents stop for a few months.

Hello J.. This is not a potty training issue. Fact. I can only recommend any book about sleep disorders including bed-wetting. There are eight kids in my family. Four of us were long term (8-12 years). Punishment and ANY other reaction from you will diffinately only exacerbate the problem, but it is common and there is a cure. Oh, if only they knew. Can you imagine the laundry load? But I can say there were never any negitive impliments with us. Our mom(s) just "rode it out". It doesn't have to be that way for you but remenber it is not a potty training issue at this stage. It's a bed wetting issue. Please get some books. If you want to know what my book says then please e-mail me personally. Be peaceful and kind and get some books - preferably from sleep experts.

Hi, I know you don't want to use pullups or diapers- but I think that using these tools are much better than the stress and anxiety caused by making you wash the sheets again!!
I am sure that your daughter is picking up on your anger and frustration and it may even be making the problem worse.
I know that some children's bladders don't grow as fast as the rest of their body- and this is normal for many children. So she may be physically unable to control her bladder- expecially when she is asleep. If this is the case then she will outgrow it eventually.
In the mean time you need to try some methods to allow her (and you) to relax. I use some training pants with my girls. They are wonderful cotton padded pants with a vinyl/nylon overlay. They are thinner and more comfortable than a diaper, much better for the environment. You just wash them and reuse them. This way you can both relax and not worry about the sheets!
Life is too short to be constantly worried about wet sheets. She won't be wetting the bed forever- and if you can use some tools to help your daughter with this issue, then you can both sleep better.
I hope this helps.
Good luck,
S.