What Are Your Opinions on Preschool?

Updated on September 06, 2012
L.L. asks from Chester, ID
32 answers

My child is 4 knows all her abcs since she was 13 months old and knows her numbers till 20 and more if I repeat, all her shapes including the difficult ones and teaching her how to read and key words, she seems to want to go to school so much but to me its expenditure and plus she will learn in kindergarten also, and college days are sooo exepnsive I feel really bad not sending her as her eagerness to go to school is emence she ask me to give her homework which I bought a bunch of preK books for her to do and she can do it all with a bit of guidance she has photographic memory picks things up very fast, she learned the our father prayer in a few minutes in few days. Thus one part I do not want to deprieve but then again it can cost a lot at preschool at least 2,500 for the whole year which that could be use for later, what do you mums think, my hb is doing great now, but I do not like wastage eventhough we can afford stuff but I always buy things on sale as I feel no need to buy retail items when you can get for less that is my motto, seen so many people with debts that I do not want to go through that as its super stressful in a marriage and my hubby would cause stress on me as the result thus I am doing whatever possible to save for later as cost of living goes up never down. (;

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter will be going to a program at the park district. It will be a tight budget fit since my husband just got back to work but she needs it. She needs the socialization that goes with it. My daughter has, until very recently, only been with myself and my husband and her 13 yr old siblings so does not know how to be a 4 yr old. She did really well last year though got intimated by the normal things a 4 yr old would do, like taking things from another etc. She needs to know how to deal with other kids and I think she will learn better how to listen. The park district program is only a fraction of the cost of other programs available so that may be an option.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

All 3 of my kids went, much more for the social aspect than education. My older two went to two years at a private preschool and my youngest went to one year at a public preschool. I think it's very beneficial.

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A.S.

answers from Eugene on

She sounds really smart-does she know how to talk to a child her own age? If the answer is no and she is great talking to adults. Send her to the cheapest preschool you can find. It wouldn't be a waste of money to socialize a child-school can be a lonely place without friends.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Preschool is not about academics. It is about "learning how to be a student" and figuring out how to learn and function in a group. As a school psychologist and later as an Assistant Principal, I could walk into any Kindergarten classroom and within 10 minutes tell you which children attended preschool and which didn't. It is that obvious.

You don't need to send her full time. You can send her for 2 or 3 half days. $2500 is NOTHING for preschool! My son is in preschool for 5 full days per week and we pay $200 per week for him to attend.

Look into less expensive programs and send her part-time. You're looking at a one year investment that will assist her in stepping into Kindergarten successfully rather than trying to figure it out when the majority of her school-aged peers will already know what "circle time", "morning meeting", "calendar" and "line up" mean!

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Pre-school here is usually about $80 a week for three afternoons a week. It is not to learn academics, but to learn how to get along with other kids, how to be away from mommy, how to stand in line, how to do circle time, how to listen to the teacher, how to take turns etc. Children learn reading and writing and math in elementary school. If you can afford some pre-school it will help the transition to kindergarten, but you certainly don't need to spend $2500.

I meant to say $80 a month for three days a week!

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

If you are low income.. your child will qualify for free preschool federally funded called headstart.. In MIchigan we have free state funed preschool called many different names.. world of fours.. great start readiness. Kids can qualify based on income or need or low birthweight or speech.. many factors..

Preschool is FUN. FUN FUN .. Does she NEED to go to preschool.. NO.. but will she miss out on the fun.. YES. Preschool teaches things.. like standing in line, taking turns, sharing, playing with other children.. independence..

Some kids start kindergarten without preschool.. but most go to preschool.

In our area.. there are church preschool.. very low cost.. co-op preschools.. very low cost.. and even school based preschools that are approximately 1000 a year.. She only needs to go 2 half days a week to benefit from the program.. look for a program with limited hours and the cost will be less.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

My DD knows a lot, too, more than some kindergarten kids. I think preschool is a nice to have. If you can afford some option, then it's good for kids to learn about following directions, dealing with other kids, etc. My DD isn't going to learn her numbers. She is going for the social learning and to listen to a teacher and that sort of thing. We found an option that is half days, not a coop, that we can afford. If you want her to experience preschool but don't have a lot of money, you can see what your school district offers, what part time options are out there, etc. DD will go M-F but a lot of the kids are MWF or T/TH only kids. And if it's simply not in the budget, look for library story times, park and rec programs and Meet Up groups to enrich her time and get her out with other kids. Preschool is not mandatory. I went. My sister did not. We both did fine in regular school.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Preschool isn't about reading and writing it's about socializing, learning to wait, share, stand in line, follow simple directions, take turns, etc. Yes, there are other skills that get them ready for kindergarten, like beading, lacing, cutting and gluing (building fine motor skills that help them with writing) but these are ALL things that can be done at home. As long as you give your child these opportunities she will be fine.
Have you looked at a church, or co-op preschool? Those are usually much cheaper. But again, not necessary, especially if you can't really afford it without causing stress. Just make sure she plays with other kids a lot (like at the park) and has access to blocks, puzzles, play doh, paints, glue, scissors, paper, markers and of course read to her as much as you can. That's all she needs :)

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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

Preschool really isn't about academics. My kids knew all those things as well. It's really more about socialization and helping them adapt to being in an environment where they must follow directions and interact with other children collaboratively and individually. When I was a kid, I did not go to a preschool, and I got into a lot of trouble for the first few years of elementary, learning how to adapt to that environment. Kindergarten is now what first-grade used to be, so they jump in with both feet to the academics and they are often expected to know how to behave. Of course, they teach that, too, and there are ways of socializing a child outside of a preschool as well. But for me, it was important that my children go to a preschool (not just a day care, since I stay home), but a preschool that was just a couple of hours a few days per week where they would follow directions and have projects beyond simple free play. I'm shocked that you're not able to find something for less than 2500 -- that's more than double what I paid for my kids for a top of the line preschool. To me, it was worth the price I paid.

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

I know there are a lot of kids who start kindergarten without any prior preschool or day care experiences and do just fine. I am sure your daughter is fine as far as academics are concerned, but sometimes preschool and being prepared for kindergarten is a whole lot more than knowing the alphabet and how to count.

How does your child do in a social setting with other kids? How does she do if she is away from you? Has she had any experiences being separated from you and being expected to get along in a group setting with other kids and follow directions from another adult? Does she know shapes and colors? Can she follow a routine, sit still and listen? Can she cut with scissors, use glue, write her name? Name body parts? Is she potty-trained and can she use the bathroom independently? Can she dress herself reasonably well?

Preschool does not have to be as expensive as what you think it is. A program here through the school district for 4 year olds, 3 days a week, cost $1200 for the whole year. Depending on your financial situation, you could also qualify for Head Start and other similar programs. My SIL didn't think her son needed preschool either (she was a SAHM) but when he had to start kindergarten, it was such a shock to him, because he had never spent any time away from Mom and had never had any group interactions with other kids. It took him a long time to adjust and he ended up having to repeat kindergarten because he just wasn't prepared in the first place.

From the sounds of it, your daughter could really enjoy preschool and do really well with it.

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

We sent my son to a preschool through a church even though we are not religious at all. He went so that he could learn how to listen to the teacher, sit with a group, wait his turn, make friends. I don't ever think preschool is about learning ABC's and 123's. I think it's about socializing.
We paid $120 a month * 10 months at $1200 for the year. Maybe do some research and see if you could find a preschool that's cheaper. My son went to preschool 3 days a week in the afternoon for 3 hours.
L.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Preshool is totally unnecessary and all about teaching kids to sit still and be controlled by a teacher, without real regard for their own interests or desires.

Look at the list of skills it teaches? Doing what you are told is not a real skill. I think it is so sad that we are forcing our 2-4 year olds to ignore their own interests and to instead do what they are told. Learning starts and ends with engagement and interest, and there isn't much in most preschools and kindergartens that have anything to do with the real principles of learning.

Do your child a favor, let her be a kid for as long as possible. Doing what you are told can easily be taught, and older kids don't have issues with transitions. These are all develomental things, not skills to be taught.

In fact, by age 7 kids are mostly at the same place. There is no academic or social advantage to sending your child to preschool, unless you are seriously low-income and you don't know how to read yourself. We like to think there are real benefits, but there aren't. Let me rephrase that, it gives moms that want a break a break.

Find yourself a meet-up play group or a cheap play based mother's day out program so she can socialize, but don't worry about school. It's a waste of time......and I have my Ph.D and use to teach teachers. Play with your child, have fun, find some friends. Learning happens, and standing in line and waiting is a dumb thing to learn, if you ask me.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

If you don't feel you can afford it, don't put your family finances in jeopardy and cause stress in your marriage by spending money on preschool. Preschool isn't necessary -- you can teach her everything she needs to know at home.

However, you could look into a co-op preschool in your area. The parents volunteer part-time as teachers, so the cost is relatively low, nothing close to $2,500. Check out this one: http://www.kidscoop.org/

It's great that she's so excited to go to school -- just think how much she will enjoy kindergarten when she finally gets to go!

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K.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Since when did society need professionals to teach children how to sit still, make friends, and respect authority? Yikes.

Personally, it sounds like your daughter is learning so much from having a private tutor (aka you!). If you have doubts, continue to teach her, and challenge her. Teach her to share, be nice, ect... Start planning field trips with her and other little kids and have fun!

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

For us, preschool for my 4 yr old is about socialization and society. Not with other kids...he's good there.
It's about learning respect for authority figures, learning about routines and following instructions, and socially expected behaviors.

These are things that I can/do teach him, however, learning it without me by his side will be a tremendous help, as he learns how to navigate through the world.

Our preschool is $6200 for 3 1/2 days. For us, it's worth every penny.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think preschool is really important for social reasons and not for academic. Your daughter is obviously bright and will do well academically in school. However, it can really help to be in a classroom setting in preschool to learn the rules and behavior that are expected in kinder. Once she's in kinder, the teacher will have a lot less tolerance for acting out, running around when she's supposed to be sitting quietly, etc. Preschool is great fo rlearning how to interact with other children and resolve conflicts. If you truly can't afford it, it's not critical. But if you can, I really do think it's important.

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C.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My vote is skip it. She sounds like a smart girl. She can learn how to socialize at the park. My son was in a home based daycare because my feeling was (and is) that my child will be in school for at least 17 years (to get a degree), and might as well have the time to be creatively free until then. My son is in 3rd grade and tested as "advanced" the first time he had standardized testing at the end of 2nd grade. My husband volunteered once per week in the classroom during K and 1st, and he said my son quickly moved to the top 5 in the class, despite a Kindergarten teacher who made discouraging remarks to the students and the parents about kids who didn't go to pre-school. It took me until about the middle of 2nd grade to get my son to stop feeling insecure about it. Besides book smart and extremely well behaved in class, my son is very creative, which is what I hoped and dreamed for my child. Some of my friends sent their kids to pre-school and felt it was necessary, and that is cool for them. But it just seems like a stressful expenditure for your family that I don't think will give your bright girl that much more of an advantage.

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M.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Your child does not need preschool. If you are worried about academics, surely you can handle teaching her anything (and WAY more) that she might get in a preschool. You already have!! You don't need to waste your money paying a glorified babysitter to do what you can do. Your marriage deserves better than the stress of sending a 4 year old away during the day. She will not get the attention and love that you give her daily. She will be one of the masses. It sounds like you are doing an incredible job already. Why hand her over to someone else when you obviously have it covered? The best education for a person comes from one-on-one tutoring, which is exactly what she already has. We lived in England for awhile where several of our friends had their children in boarding schools, The cream of the crop. We just told them our children were also in boarding school...but it was extremely selective. They had to have the right DNA to go there. We homeschool. ;)

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I beleive that pre-K is a very important part of a child's life and development both academically and socially. In a sense, what you are doing is "homeschooling" your child at a pre-K level so she is getting the academics that she needs.

Is she getting the socialization she needs? Is she part of a play group? Do you attend classes or story time at the library on a regular basis?

If I were in your situation, I would skip pre-K.

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

I know teachers... they can tell the difference right away, between the kids that have been to preschool & the kids that haven't. It's not just about academics, and preschool is not "glorified babysitting". It's more than just teaching your kid manners, there are things that can be learned at preschool that can't effectively be taught at home (waiting your turn after 15 other kids have had theirs, sharing, etc.). I think that not having your child do at least Pre-K put them at a disadvantage.

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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

I send mine to preschool starting at 24 months. It's not about academics, but fun! My kids are very close together and there are (almost) 5 so it's a lifesaver to have preschool start so young and take the current toddler outside, etc. while I care for the current baby of the home.

There might be low-income options in your area, so do check. I hope you find what works for you!

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

Preschool isn't necessary, it's more of a transition into full-time school. It gets the kids used to a routine, it gets them more socialized, etc. If you don't think your daughter needs it, don't sweat it. She'll be fine!

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

When a child reaches kindergarten now, that child will have real issues if he or she cannot do these things:

Listen to and follow directions given by an adult who is NOT a parent or other familiar adult. A child who cannot grasp that the teacher is in charge and is "the boss of you" is not going to function in kindergarten.

Share toys and space and take turns with other children, giving up a desired toy or game to another child at times, even if he or she doesn't really want to give it up. The child must be able to understand the idea of "You've had that toy for a while now and it's Other Kid's turn."

Stop doing one activity when told to stop and move to another activity without melting down. This is very hard for many young children to learn. Why stop doing this fun thing/playing with this toy when I want to keep doing it? Only practice helps with this.

Move as a group from place A to place B and so on, when told to do so. For both the sake of doing activities and for safety (as in fire drills), kids must learn that when the class goes, they go.

Did you notice that not one of those things I just listed has anything at all to do with ABCs, 123s, workbooks or worksheets or reading?

Preschool teaches children the things I've listed. Preschool is about socialization and teaching children how to get along in a classroom setting within a group of children with a non-parent adult having authority. You can't teach that at home unless you run a preschool class in your house.

You are possibly thinking too hard about costs and thinking way too far ahead. Preschool now is not going to mean your child can't make it to college later because you blew the money on preschool classes.

There are so many options. It sounds like you have a dollar figure from one place and are basing your fear of the costs on that one figure. It can take a lot of research to find a cheaper preschool, or look for a parent-run cooperative ("co-op") structure, or one run by a school. Some even offer reduced fees if a family has real financial issues.

You do not have to do two or three years of it but at least one full "school year" before kindergarten would be immensely beneficial. I would bet that kindergarten teachers can tell the difference between K students who have had some preschool experience and those who have had none -- and the difference is not in how well the read or know numbers, it's in their behavior in a group setting. Please don't think of preschool as "wastage" as you put it, but as an investment in your child being ready for "big kid school."

Oh, and kindergarten teachers used to teach those things l listed above. But do not think that you can just let the K teacher do it now. The classes are too big, and the pressures from school systems to have kids doing more, sooner, is too strong, for K teachers to do a lot to teach kids socialization. The teachers have to focus on reading, writing and math much more in K now than they did when we were kids. That's why preschool is more important today.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Like others have said... preschools are not all about learning the ABC's and 123's

In preschool they learn a lot about being social, routines that will will occur in K, behaviors that are expected in preschool and K on up.

It prepares them for K so they are not thrown into the wolves, per say, when they go to K and are in a minority because most children are preschooled.

As a teacher, you can tell a difference in children who went through preschool and not. The preschoolers know more about the ropes of school and the others do not. None preschoolers have a harder time (sometimes) separating from parents and going to school.

Even if you can't afford to go to a good preschool, at least try to get her involved in some activity which has structure and socialization.

Good luck.

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F.B.

answers from New York on

DS has been in daycare since 15 months old (now nearly 2). We found it to be a positive alternative to having him with my parents and with the manny. I work full time and hubs was in school full time, so the SAHM/D route wasn't an option for us.

Daycare and I imagine pre-school helps introduce routines, socialization, and a modicum of learning. It reinforces interpersonal skills such as patience, taking turns, playing nicely, listening to instruction and directions. Its proven invaluable for us in terms of assisting with table manners, introducing the potty, and impulse control.

Your daughter sounds like she is ahead of the curve academically. I imagine she'll integrate well in K with or without pre-K. pre-K would be helpful in acclimating her to a school day routine.

If cost is prohibitive, make inquiries into free or low cost universal pre-K programs which are available in NY for a 1/2 day for all 4 year olds. Also, area churches and community centers might have something similar.

Good luck with your decision making process.
F. B.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

If you have a preschool that charges under $10,000/year-you should take advantage of it-preschool is wonderful-four of my children attended preschool-the eldest, however, did not-she began kindergarten just before turning 5 yet, she was a great student, graduated from college, etc. This school was 2 yrs of preschool-2nd grade-it was not a babysitting service-no one there was in diapers, and it was and still is a great school. Preschool is a bit more than ABC's-hopefully/if it's a good school.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm all for preschool. The kids learn a lot more than just ABC's - they learn how to listen to the teacher, share, follow rules, socialize, etc. They learn that it's ok to be away from mommy for the day and that mommy will come back and get them. Kindergarten today is like 2nd grade when we were kids. Kids have to be able to write, do math, start to read, etc. Sending your daughter part time to preschool would cost less than full time and I'm sure she'd love it. My son started preschool when he was 2 and he loved it. He started Kindergarten a month before he turned 5. Some of the churches and synagogues have good preschools and they don't charge as much as other private schools. Hope this helps.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

Much of preschool is about learning social norms, rules, and learning HOW to learn in a classroom environment. Your daughter knows a lot of book stuff, but does she know how to properly socialize? At the least, consider a morning kindergarten or 9-2 mother's day out program 2-3 days per week. There are a variety of costs...check with your public school for a pre-k program or consider a co-op preschool where tuition is less because parents volunteer as class aides.

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I think preschool (NOT daycare) is good for kids. They are able to get into a routine, be around other people besides mommy all day, learn to share, play and be social. It's good for kids to have that time away from mom. When you say preschool, I'm thinking maybe 2 or 3 HALF days per week, not 5 days all day long. That would be too much. I haven't heard of any half day program that charges $2500 a year! I think the most I have paid for preschool is around $1200 a year, and it was SO worth it. I say go ahead and let her go. She will have a blast!

A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

If your daughter knows how to get along with other children her own age, can handle not having the adult attention solely on her, follows instructions, can separate from you without too many issues, etc. then preschool isn't necessary but it can still be beneficial.

I don't know about your location but in our school district (which admittedly seems to expect a lot) most kindergarteners can recognize the alphabet including letter sounds, write the alphabet, count to 100 by one and tens, write their names, begin to tell time, do basic math (1+1=2, 3-2=1, etc.), know several sight words, know patterns, cut and trace, tell and illustrate stories, understand cause and effect, know their shapes and colors, can understand a calendar (dates, seasons, weekday and weekends). If they don't do these things they start off behind the rest of the class. So there's some things you can work on with your daughter at home.

I think if you can afford it you and she wants to do it, you should enroll her in a part time preschool. We enrolled our daughter in preschool to get her used to the school environment and so she could play and learn with children her own age. She loved it. She had a lot of fun and learned many things.

Your daughter will be fine either way but I don't think you will regret spending the money on something she will enjoy.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

I spent $$ on preschool as I work and we can afford it and I felt like it entertained the kids but I don't think it's necessary at all from an educational standpoint unless your child won't deal well with listening to a teacher, sharing, being in a group etc. If that was the case, she'd need some practice. But my oldest is very social and kind of "needed" a school or something to go to. How about a coop? I think it's basically free... That always seems to be a great option for SAHM's.

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