What Do I Do About a 12 Year Old Who Is Hiding Women's Underwear in His Room?

Wow. I've seen some of the articles and I decided to make an account because parents really don't understand that things are different than when you were a kid.
Most kids are becoming sexual at 13-14 years old now, and I mean with a partner. It's not uncommon for a 10-11 year old to be masterbating frequently. I'm 14 now and I was masterbating in the fourth grade. I was 10. It would be helpful for you to understand that he isn't a little kid anymore. I can say that the way you handled it was good though. I had to listen to my mom yell at me for a half hour. I hope this helps

I'd take him to a doctor who speilizes in gender issues it sounds like he might want to be a girl then maybe not it don't mean he's gay I'm a transgender female and I'm not gay even though there are some that are

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I'd take him to a doctor who speilizes in gender issues it sounds like he might want to be a girl then maybe not it don't mean he's gay I'm a transgender female and I'm not gay even though there are some that are

First of all I'm no expert, but from all I have read and all that I know about life, masterbation is perfectly normal. 12 is also probably about the age where boys (and girls) start to explore their sexual identity. You should not be concerned about it that much in my opinion. (Ask your husband what he was doing at 12! LOL)
Calling your son out or "confronting" him is the worst thing you can do. Perhaps the reason he makes up stories is that he doesn't feel he can come to you and talk without reprisal.
I know when my son gets to be that age I hope I have laid a foundation of MUTUAL trust so that he will feel free to come to me with his thoughts , dreams, and even failures.No matter what they may be. And yes, I too want to raise a child who is respectful, pleasant to be around and well adjusted. However I do know that sometimes the dreams of a child and the dreams that a parent have for them are not necessarily one and the same.
Good luck with your decision.

J., I have no boys of my own but I do have a 13 year old brother and he's never been caught going through our mother's underwear. No, unfortunately, I don't think what you're describing is normal. I work for a mental health agency in New Orleans and would reccommend evaluation for him... I mean, if you had found 1 or 2 pairs I would say that he may have just been curious and then was afraid to return them because he was ashamed; but a whole basketful? I would have to ask him for his excuse. The best way to approach it is to ask him while you are alone so that there's a low risk of embarrassment. See what his reasons are. If you really are concerned then talk to a social worker or counselor....if you live in Jefferson or Orleans parish I would be more than happy to hook you up with one of ours just send me a message on the side. All the best.

I am raising one boy, 15, as well as three girls. At 12 and 13 that is all he was doing, in his room locked for hours, in the shower forever. I took the approach of not embarassing him about it, because it is normal. It passes. I would confront the story telling, and maybe returning the underwear. It is awkward for a mom to talk to her son about some things. But you may find a way to do the sex talk, maybe get a book or whatever works for you, if you think the dad would embarass him. At this stage that is all they are thinking about (sex).

It is perfectly normal and natural for boys to masturbate at that age. The underwear may just be a visual stimulus. If talking to his dad is going to result in his dad embarasssing him about it, then don't talk to his dad. Too many boys grow up thinking that there's something wrong with them because they have this urge.
If he's trying on the underwear, then it could be that he is transvestite. There is also NOTHING WRONG with this. Some men get a thrill from wearing women's underclothing, especially if it's silky or lacy fabric - it feels good. Some men have full female outfits, including wigs and makeup. Most transvestite men are straight. You might even offer to buy him a few items of his own so that he doesn't take other people's.

I would have a talk with him about taking things without permission, and about lying. He may have been afraid to come forward with it because of his dad.

just sit down and talk to him and she whats going on.

remove the underwear from his room, he'll know what happened and he'll be embarrassed enough by it, that he probably won't continue. you will, however, if you haven't already, get him all the info on sex and safe sex that you can. it's the age that it starts to become part of normal conversation among yound teens, and he needs to be armed with all the info on how to protect himself. masturbation is completely normal even as early as age 10. if your husband would freak out, then don't tell him about what you found. if he doesn't have access to pornos or other such visually stimulating material then that's probably what he's been using as a visual device. the underwear from outside the home is what would bother me most, especially with the horrendous state of sex ed today. make sure he starts carrying a condom at all times. we all know that a hyped up little of bag of hormones is not going to say no to a girl saying yes.