V.H.
Hi
You have a right to be concerned. Your first job is to love her no matter what. She is doing things to get attention. She is hurting. She wants to be accepted but in the past, being like everyone else hasn't turned out very good. Hone in on what makes her happy and do more of that with her. Spending time with her will not only let her know that she is alright with you, later, she will realize that she can feel alright about herself. It takes time to recover from lifes beatings. And from what you've said, she has been through a lot in her short life. Support and love her to death! As for her being around the children, she has to respect the house rules. And like anyother child, boundaries must be set. Talk with her counselor about this. Getting help is a good thing. But don't make her feel like a science project. She is half grown, so giving her responsibilites will make her feel needed and welcomed.
These are just a few tips. I am the oldest of four. My youngest sister is fifteen. I also used to work in a group home for teenage girls.
Stay encouraged and continue to do everything possible to take an objective look at the situation. In the end, you both will benefit from this. And I am hoping that your cousin finds a place where she feels safe to open up.