I battle with giving my children what they want to drink (juice) and giving my children what I want them to drink (water). I normally give them juice watered down but they have become partial to juice and my husband (who is not their caretaker) wants them to have one cup of juice in the morning and water the rest of the day. However, he is not the one who has to listen to their griping and whining for juice every hour. I tried some naturally sweetened stuff and they kinda like it and now my husband is saying he doesn't want them to have that because of the chemical which I agree with as well. He got upset with me for giving them the flavored water and asked me why I could not just give them water but he was upset at me when he asked me that. Essentially made me feel like a child. Shouldn't i have some say as far as what I give my children as well? Why does he always speak to me in such a way that makes me feel like a child.So should I just suck it up and just give them water until they get used to it? But my thought is why not let them have what they want to drink? I thought I was actually doing better for them by giving them the naturally sweetened water as opposed to the juice.
My 1 yr old still BF a lot (too much) and my 3 yr old does get milk. It is the in between that we are having issues with
They are 1 and 3..
UPDATE: For Cheryl O. and Jo W. OMG No and NO I do not treat my husband as a child. Never. I am completely the submissive one here, he wears the pants. I am a push over, I would never treat him like a child. That is Y he has so much control and I am bucking against him. I despise being told what to do so that is Y we are getting therapy right now for those issues.
I spoke to a dieticitian about this two weeks ago. Juice is high in sugar. She said that anything you can eat, instead of drink, you should eat.
At age 1 my children drank only water and milk. At age 3 they were allowed to drink juice on special occasions.
He is right--at least he was willing to compromise. You can't give kids everything they want (even when you are the one dealing with their gripes). You have to give them what is good for them. Eventually all that sugar is going to catch up with them, and when they get sick, then you will be the only one dealing with their gripes. Water is best!
DS is 6. He gets milk and water. If we are staying in a hotel and go out to breakfast and they have fresh squeezed juice - he can have that. Juice (even the watered down stuff) is empty calories that do not stimulate the brain's satiety center like food does. And if they don't brush their teeth each time, it's bad for the teeth as well. I make it easy by not keeping the stuff in the house.
There are no health benefits to juice. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends against it and for parents who insist on it, recommend limiting it to 1/2 cup a day. Have them eat fruit instead.
Why do you refer to your husband as not their caretaker? He is just as much a "caretaker" as you are. :(
Perhaps he "made you feel like a child" because you were treating him as one.
The REAL problem here, I don't even think is juice. It's giving your kids what they want, becuase they whine and beg for it. Who cares if they whine all day? If they don't get what they want, eventually they will realize whining won't get them juice. My 3 year old drinks water all day (he can't drink milk) and juice on special occasions.
As far as the juice goes, it does not actually have many vitamins. The significant vitamins are expunged during the juicing process. On top of that, juice is pretty much pure sugar. There is no nutritional value in juice, unless you have a juicer at home, are juicing the fruit right there skin and all, and adding the pulp back in. The "vitamins" in commercial juices, are synthetic and added. Our body can't really absorb those vitamins. So, in essence...yo are giving them sugar water. There is no health benefit in bought juice. Look, there is nothing wrong with juice. There IS something wrong with it being their main liquid, or replacing water with juice. More then that, if they are getting it because they get in your last nerve...you will really regret that. Who cares if they want it? I'm sure they'd like to eat ice cream and cookies all day, too. Kids generally want things, that are not what we know they need.
I'm not at all trying to offend Laurie A (truly,) but I would not model my child's nutrition after what the FDA suggests and requires of daycares. (or even stay at home toddlers. Juice is NOT fruit!!) Because...well...the FDA says pizza is a vegetable.
My biggest question is... why are you letting THEM decide what they want to eat and drink?
Juice, in small amounts, is good for us..... of course they prefer juice, it is sweet!
However, it is basically empty calories... would you let them just eat sugar straight out of the package? Basically, even the "100% juice" has a lot of sugar in it, even if it is "natural".
They whine because they know if they whine enough, you will give in to them.
Who is it that makes the rules in this house... the parents or the kids? I hate to see what it will be like in a few more years if you continue to give in to their whining.
sounds like you and your husband need some type of counseling...you are both trying to one-up each other and keeping score. Treating each other poorly.
He speaks to you the way you speak to him most likely. It will carry on to the children as well. They will see the lack of respect you two have for each other and they will pick up on it and play it. Kids do it all the time.
No means no. It's that simple. your kids whine and you give in. So they know that they can ask 10 times and the first nine you will say no but on the 10th - you will give in. NO MEANS NO.
My kids drink a myriad of things - water, milk, Sunny D, Kool-Aid, Gatorade, cran-juices, apple juice...it's called moderation.
our bodies NEED water to survive. period. They are 1 and 3 - water and milk is what they NEED. They can have juice with a snack. It's okay to compromise - but NO MEANS NO. PERIOD.
You and your husband need to get on the same page. Start treating each other respect and like a PARTNER instead of a parent.
At those ages it was milk or plain water 95% of the time. He got to have juice a couple times a week. The healthy part of fruit is the fiber you get from eating it. The juice is just sugar and empty calories, even though it's natural it's still sugar.
This is my personal opinion, but I think it's easier to keep children to eating healthy down the road if they get used to the natural taste of things while they are young and not used to having everything sweetened.
It might be painful to go through a period of whining now but it'll be better in the long run.
Bucking the trend here, but what is the big deal?? My daughter is 4 and has Fruitables usually once a day. SHe has perfect teeth (gee, she brushes!) and has no probelm with her wieght. The only change I would make is milk in the morning (protien for a good start) and add the juice at lunch, afternoon snack or dinner.
As far as how your husband is talking to you, I don't know the ins and outs of yor relationship, but you need to nip that. Otherwise when your kids get older they will most likely treat you the same way.
Good luck!
My kids drink water, milk and watered juice. Between meals they are allowed water. At snack time or meal time they are allowed 1 small (like 4-5oz) cup of milk or watered juice. If they are still thirsty, then anything more than that is automatically water.
This allows them some choice, and some consistency and treat. They know what to expect, and I know what to expect - so there is no whining. (Whining around here does not get them what they are whining about, as I have VERY little tolerance for whining.) They do whine more when they think the rules are flexible..... So keeping 'standards' helps keep me sane. :)
My kids are almost 4 and almost 6 - and this has worked well for us. :)
I'd suggest you and spouse decide what your standard is - then stick with it. It makes it easier for everyone to know what is allowed/expected. Good luck!
I just treated juice like soda, or cookies or ice cream, as a rare treat, and not something we generally kept around the house.
I mean, if you don't want them whining and griping about it, then just don't buy it. Done!
As far as the way your husband makes you feel, I am glad you are in therapy for that. Good luck :)
Juice is bad for them because of the sugars, albeit natural, that are in them, they should only be drinking milk and water. The First 5 program here in CA is campaigning to teach parents to only give their children 5 and under milk and water to drink, their slogan basically is that they're the only things kids under 5 need to drink to be healthy. This is all based on that drinking juice, at this age, even watered down, has been proven to lead to obesity earlier and eventually in life. and problems with tooth enamel, leading to cavities, etc..
Well, juice is horrible for them. It's better to nip the whining in the bud.
I let my kids have juice maybe once every two to three weeks. Kids often drink water better if there is ice in it. Have you ever made homemade orange juice or lemonade? Also, there are some really good organic juice alternatives. Really, at their ages, they should be drinking water or whole milk period.
As far as the husband/ wife treatments... no, he shouldn't belittle you. But I can see he is trying to do what he thinks is best for the kiddos.
A serving of juice is 4oz. That is all. That is what a child should have of 100% juice. Juice is not bad for kids. It is a serving of fruit. If you don't believe me try googling the government food pyramid for toddlers and pre-schoolers. As for child care, we can be closed down and lose our food supplements if they found out we were watering down the juice. It is to be given whole, in a cup. We could not water it down. I think watering down juice is odd. That's just me though.
Then they can drink up to 24 oz of milk per day. Tea, I use de-caffeinated, water, koolaid, etc....what ever you want them to drink.
I use 2/3 C sugar when I make koolaid. It tastes just fine with less.
DO NOT GIVE YOUR KIDS SUGAR FREE ANYTHING. If the flavored water drinks have fake sugar in them you are feeding them poison chemicals that are bad for them.
They are basically a poison that can cause all kinds of health issues.
i would cut out all but water and milk. they are way too young to be this entitled already. not to mention there is NO need for juice if they are being fed a balanced diet. my son is 5 and drinks straight water or water with lemon and lime (actual fruit slices in the pitcher of water - not juice, koolaid, or "drink").milk with breakfast. he orders water at restaurants. one simple little thing we can do to give the kids a tiny step ahead health wise. i can't understand why people can't drink water
Just a semantic issue.. Unless you're buying fake juice, juice IS naturally sweetened. Fructose is why fruit is sweet, it's a naturally occurring sugar in fruit. (If we really want to go there, sucrose is why sugar cane is sweet, which is another naturally occurring sugar. The whole 'comes from a little green leaf' stupidity commercials drive me nuts... Because table sugar comes from a grass, as does corn syrup, maple sugar from a tree, insect excretion sugar -honey- from insects, milk sugar from a mammal.... :D)
So if the debate is natural v synthetic... Sucrose (sugar cane), galactose (milk sugar), fructose (fruit sugar).... These are ALL natural sugars. As opposed to synthetic sweeteners (although aspartame is bananas+milk) which are chemical creations, some from nature, some purely chemical.
Different sugars affect the body in different ways as they break them down to make glucose (the only nutrient the brain runs on... Glucose & electricity & oxygen... Although its BUILT almost purely from fats), but sugars in our diet are ESSENTIAL to life, we just eat more of them as a society than we really need to.
Which I suspect is the actual hang up. Too much sugar in your children's diet being the concern?
You can keep up the juice wars... Or turn the problem on its head and lower their sugar intake in other areas... Namely starches (aka, sugar. Starch is just a common usage word for 2-5 sugar combinations, nearly always including glucose).
Pasta, bread, rice, etc... have almost no nutritional value OUTSIDE of the starch content. For the very little that you lose, just add wheat germ to veggies/peanut butter &honey, etc.
Just A. option.
OTW, one of my house rules is that I'd it becomes a fight.. It goes away. (Similarly, if you whine you don't get what you want).
So to ME the deciding factor would be is:
-this a dietary issue? (too much sugar in their diet)
-a behavioral issue? (not taking no for A. answer)
-a marriage issue? (being talked down to, etc)
-------
In my house? Juice, milk, water, soda, tea (hot infusion), fruit in water (cold infusions), decoctions (brought to boil)... We drink them all. Our diet changes fairly regularly, however, so the content is fairly consistent. AKA if we're having potatoes and bread or other starches, we stick with less sugar in other areas. If we're protein loading, no worries on getting sugar from another area. It varies meal by meal and day by day (ex: diet on a sports day looks different than a diet on a reading day).
We've gone through this, my daughter only wanted to drink juice and pop and we both had enough of her sugar highs.
It took her a good 3 months to stop asking for juice and pop all the time. I actually stopped buying juice so it wasn't A. option.
Now she just gets herself a glass of water. I have juice in the fridge, she has a little with breakfast.
You just have to be patient with the change.
Your statement "he is not the caregiver" says alot. If he is their father, living in the house, and you are married, he is a caregiver.
And I happen to agree with him.
For the record mine got one cup of juice a day when they were younger, now they don't even drink it.
They got two cups of milk, one at lunch one at dinner, then water, (7 oz sippy cups).
Now, since they are mostly teens and can drink a gallon of milk a day they get one glass of milk with a meal then water. My glasses are 13-15oz
My 23 yo drinks half a gallon of milk a day and a huge glass of oj in the morning, thank God the Navy pays his food bill.
My kids are allowed one pop a day too. One doesn't drink it, the other two don't really care.
A 1 & 3yrold do not need juice as a regular thing at all. My son drank water and milk at that age, sometimes a watered down juice and never a fully leaded juice. Your children should have a variaty of milk and water during the day - you can even introduce rice milk, almond milk etc vs cows milk if you wanted.
They drink water, very rarely they drink juice or milk, on occasion tea and sprite like 2 times a year.
My son drinks water and one cup of milk a day.
If we go out to dinner or on a special occasion he might get lemonade, or juice, or gingerale depending on what's happening.
If you and your husband agree that you want them to drink water and not juice, they need to stop drinking the juice. I get that you are the caretaker and that you should have a say, but you should discuss this WITH him BEFORE deciding to do it.
I don't understand what "naturally sweetened" means. Is it sugar (natural) or a chemical sweetner? Or something like agave or stevia or what?
The reason why not to let them have what they want to drink is that they are 1 and 3. What they want and what they should have can be wildly different on this and EVERY issue. There is NO health benefit to drinking juice at ANY age, and developing a sweet tooth now sets them up for diet issues down the road.
You're the mom. Do what works for your family, but you asked for advice, so there you go.
HTH
T.
Juice is limited to one glass a day. The rest of the day is water and milk. Rarely tea, soda or lemonade.
It sounds like the root of the problem is more of a power struggle with hubbie than about what the kids drink. You both are just putting the kids in the middle of it.
I sympathize with you. I could not take a husband that told me what to do. In fact, if my hubbie tries to tell me what to do, he can be assured it will NOT get done. Clearly, we have our power struggles too.
I honestly think neither of you is being unreasonable. I give my kids different things to drink b/c they like different things.
Here is what it is b/c you asked:
My son (who is 3) gets OJ for breakfast - always with added calcium or the Kids version with more added vitamins. My daughter (who is 6) gets milk. Nothing else for breakfast (i.e. no other juices etc)
For lunch my daughter takes a juice box to school - I will only allow 100% fruit juice (no sugar packed juices). My son will get 1/2 a measuring cup of Sprite (my daughter too on the weekend) b/c they want it and I firmly believe that making it forbidden will make them want it more.
Dinner is always milk.
The inbetween times at our house is water, or juice that has been watered down by 50% (again, 100% juice). But I use my common sense. If it seems like they are getting too much juice, we switch to water. We have a fridge with a water dispenser so they love the independence of having a cup and filling it themselves whenever they want it.
My kids (4 and 1) get 1 6 ounce or so serving of 100% juice a day. The rest of the day is either water or milk. If you think your kids are having too much juice then change it, don't just give in because they are complaining! They will get used to whatever it is YOU decide they should have. As for the part about your husband...I think possibly there is another issue that needs to be resolved between you two. My husband doesn't debate with me what is best for the kids, I have it handled. If you act unsure of yourself and or ask for his 2 cents all the time, then thats the real issue here. Between us though, give them less juice, they will get used to it. The more juice they have, the more you have to worry about them being too full to finish their meals because they filled up on juice. ..not to mention cavities. Good luck.
I just have to ask... What the hell is wrong with juice? When I was a kid I got milk, juice, or pop (Yes, pop) and I have always been very healthy.
And why not more milk for the 3 yr old? Milk is VERY healthy (Take it from a dairy farmer).
I hate to say this, but I don't really thing the juice is the issue here...
WATER...period.
No milk. We are the ONLY species that drinks another species' milk AND once it's pasteurized, everything positive in it is burned out, which is why it has to be fortified with everything. Not to mention that California allows ONE MILLION PUS CELLS per ounce of milk.
Juice is solid sugar. Diabetes is rampant in this country. MIght as well just give them soda. Fruit can be good for us, juice is not.
And don't get me started on sucralose and aspartame. Sucralose is NO better, don't let the ads fool you.
What's wrong with water? Is it your issue? Do you not like water and think they need something else? Or is it that you don't want your husband micro-managing you?
Kids really just need water to keep them healthy and if you start them now, they won't be adults who have to force themselves to drink water.
At 1 and 3 your little ones can have milk as A. alternative. You can even start checking labels, make sure the juice is as real as possible or buy a juicer and make your own?
For my daughter who's 5 she usually has juice at lunch and dinner andmilk at breakfast, on special days she had can have Soda (one with no caffeine and real sugar) at dinner or if we are out she can have chocolate milk. If she's thirsty between meals she gets water.
At those ages they were drinking milk, water, and juice 1x a day. The 3y 3-4x a day. My kids always have some type of drink with them. We try to balance each drink out throughout the day.
I agree with your husband. But that does not mean he approached it the right way with you. He obviously ruffled your feathers which is clearly the bigger deal for you now than juice. I get irked that my husband offers juice to my kids at meals. I do not offer it but on special occasions. And should it get to be a problem I would not think twice about removing it from the house for a while to stop the whining. But since your husband struck nerve with you, I think you should set the issue aside for a later time.
Milk, juice or water are what my son drinks and he can have 1 soda once a week on a Friday after school.
I've never been a big milk drinker but between my husband and son (he's 13) we go through about 4 gallons of milk a week.
Sometimes I think we need to get a cow of our own.
If you get the kids use to just having juice (watered down or not) as part of breakfast and they can't have it the rest of the day, then eventually the whining will stop.
You don't just let them drink what they want otherwise they'd all be soda addicts and all that carbonated stuff is just awful for them if that's all they drink all the time.
When my children were young they only drank milk and water. Now that they are older they only drink mostly water! On occasion they will have a cup of milk or a glass of O.J..
I don't think I've ever purchased juice for my children, it's not good for them or their teeth!
My kids mostly drink milk, they have a juice maybe once a day, and one can of soda (mostly my 9 year old has soda) My kids hardly ever drink water, maybe twice a week, they just don't like it and neither do I. Being British we drink squash, robinsons pure fruit squash, or ribena, which are all naturally flavored and the kids love them. I get them at the British store, it is pretty much all that kids drink over there.
I gave my daughter all the undiluted juice (real juice, not "juice flavored drink") and whole milk she wanted. But it sounds like the issue is not so much your kids' beverage as you being married to a control freak.
My two boys (2/5) have 6 oz of real juice a day, full strength (oj, mango, maybe prune). I do give them more in the form of apple juice if they are having severe constipation. OTher than that, they get milk (which the 2 year old goes back and forth on) or water. They both really seem to like water. My 5 y.o. will flat out refuse juice if he's thirsty. It is rarely asked for (although if it is asked for, it is generally the 2 y.o. asking).
Nothing else, no tea, no soda (never even a sip, yet).
HTH
My daughter who is 5 drinks half apple juice and half water, or just bottled water. She doesn't like anything else. Maybe I am just lucky:)
There is no reason to give the one year old juice. Most of these juices for little ones are just full of sugar and empty calories. What they need is milk. Water is good but the milk has fats that are essential for growth, and calories that are essential for their growing bodies. (And not empty calories either.)
You need to talk to the ped about how much milk AND calcium laden foods they eat every day. If they are not getting enough, then the juice is filling that void and needs to be cut out.
If your husband won't listen to you, maybe he'd listen to the ped.
Dawn
My son has a daily allowance of 16 oz of a fruit and vegetable juice blend watered down in equal parts with water. It has some flavor but no so sweet like a juice right off the shelf. I will add that he is four years old and Autistic with oral sensitivities and a very limited diet. This is a way I can assure he's getting a good amount of fruit, veg and water in daily. After his "juice allowance" is done, he gets 2% milk. I spoke to a pediatric dietician and she totally approved of this plan. My son's pediatrician said as long as the water I am using is filtered from a tap and not bottled, it's good. (He wanted to make sure my son was getting the fluoride they put in the water now for his teeth.) All good all across the board.
My daughters are 18 months old and they also have A. allowance. I mix fruit and protein Silk with DHA fortified Silk and they get that with breakfast. The rest of the day is whole milk. For the under two crowd, they need fats for healthy development. Over two, the recommendation is to move to 2% milk, but for now, all they get to drink is fatty. Occasionally, if one of them is backed up, they get some watered down prune juice, but that's not their favorite and not as effective as some alternatives.
So, now that I've answered your question about what I give my kids to drink, I will say I understand where you're coming from about being the one to take care of the kids all day long, then hubby comes home issuing edicts and questioning you like you're not their mother, but rather some random caregiver. Tell him you'd be happy to discuss alternatives with him (for instance, giving the children a daily allowance of how much juice they can have and watered down at what ratio.) Express to him that while you are happy to have discussions regarding your children ("our" children), you would appreciate a little more care in the way he addresses you. You are doing your best as a mother and feel a bit undermined. And you can move on from there.
Try to brush their teeth immediately after giving them juice so they don't get cavities. My oldest is 4 and still has not had a cavity (knock on wood!) Water is awesome (in my opinion) so your kids should drink a lot of it. Of course they will prefer juice. But it is your responsibility to start them off with good habits in life........otherwise they might grow up to not drink water - which is not healthy. Juice is much better than soda or chemicals though. I only let my kids drink 100% juice (usually grape or orange) with absolutely no additives. I try to limit to once cup/day. Good luck!
I think you are doing fine.
First of all, juice watered down is fine. It has the vitamins your children need.
IF they were in day care.. their morning snack would come with milk or watered down juice.
Lunch would come with milk
Afternoon snack water or watered down juice (their choice)
The rest of the day water.
Breakfast milk
Dinner milk
Water before bed.
milk and water (no juice). And now that she's 4 and goes to preschool, she prefers water or milk vs the juice-box they offer, although she is starting to like the juice a bit more. I actually did try to give her apple juice when she was 2, and she spit it out, lol...I just never gave it to her, and her Ped said she was better off without. They say that juice ruins it for water. It's more beneficial to offer them whole fruits, skip the juice :)
I agree with hubby on this. My 1 year old only gets water and milk in the sippy and I plan on keeping it that way until he's old enough to understand that juice is A. occasional treat and not what we drink all day. I know too many toddlers that whine for juice and won't drink anything else. I'm trying to avoid that for both my sanity and his health. Juice is sugary, full of empty calories, and doesn't have much nutritional value (yes, some have vitamins added, but it's not much).
I think that juice sometimes is okay.. have you tried buying a juicer? then you have to add nearly as much sugar, it's simply the goodness from the fruits/vegetable that you use. That way you know what you are putting into the juice (no chemicals) and they are getting servings of fruit as well.
I try to adhere to only 4 ounces of juice a day for my kids because that is what our doctor recommends. I keep orange, grape and apple on hand- and I look at the ingredients when I buy them. I used to get the lighter version, but went back to the all natural because I didn't like all of the chemicals in the reduced sugar/calorie variety. For example, I buy grape juice that says only water, grapes and asorbic acid in the ingredients because I know what all of those things are!!
Anyway, I find giving them a choice of one of those juice flavors per day and then offering milk and water the rest of the day gives them enough choices to keep them satisfied. I will sometimes give them weak tea as well.
HTH,
A.
Do any of you look at what's in your water? We get a break down of our water and it is not good in my opinion. And yet we need water to live. So as for juice, we drank it as kids but fruit itself is better, koolaid we drank but I wouldn't give it to kids now. Squeeze real fruit for juice instead of buying it. I gave our kids a juice glass of juice, not the huge glasses they give now. I think if it's not full of sugar added it's good for them. Fruit has natural sugar in it. The artificial colorings and sweeteners are not what I gave my kids and I had to talk with a nutritionist some time back and she if God made it eat it and if not don't eat it. I sort of believe for me that is a good rule to eat by. Milk is good and our kids drank milk most meals. We drank very little carbonated drinks, etc. None of my 8 kids had any cavities and so whether due to milk or less sugar or hereditary I don't know and neither did the dentist although he said it surely helped. This issue won't be settled since there are two sides with no sugar, and some sugar, hopefully natural. I think a healthy diet is good and so you need to decide if juice is not healthy but I sure wouldn't give in all meals and throughout the day and definitely not because a child whines for it or anything else. Children will learn to eat and drink what they are taught to eat and drink and so good things can be liked if given from the start. When I have my grandchildren here they drink milk at meals and water in between meals.
I didn't give my kids juice until they were 2. And then it was watered down. Even now at 6 and 8 they mostly drink water or milk because that's what they prefer and they've never really had a lot of sugary drinks.
I'm not sure what you mean by "naturally sweetened" drinks... but whatever it is probably still has sugar in it or some other kind of garbage that they don't need to have.
Of course your kids are going to complain that they want juice all the time. Sugar tastes good. But they don't need it and it isn't good for them. You're the Mom... no is no. The problem seems to be that you (and your husband) aren't on the same page with it and the kids know it, so they they keep testing to see if the answer to their juice request changes from no to yes. That's a slippery slope in a marriage that usually causes problems. Talk with your husband and come to A. agreement and stick to it.
