Friends husband is sick, not been given long to live. He's older, on social security, and she is elderly too and didn't work outside of the home. Their children are older and actually have grand kids themselves. Cashed everything in, savings accounts, life insurance, and investments through work, last winter, paid off most everything, very little debt. No life insurance left, lower middle class lifestyle.
I know when my dad died my mom got a copy of his death certificate and turned it in, to social security I think, then after a while she drew "his" social security until she passed away. How does that work? She never shared anything with me.
I'm just trying to find out where this friend can look, who she calls and asks about this sort of stuff.
Another friend's husband collapsed one day and died. She is also a grandparent raising grandchildren. She had to find a job right way just to pay bills. She finally started "drawing" his social security but I think it was a year or more before it was all taken care of.
So I'm confused. What does a woman do when the husband passes away and she isn't working. What does she have to do?
I know the answer would be "call social security" but as we all know every time you call them you get a different person and a different answer. Then what actually happens is often something completely different.
What happens? Have you been through it? How long did it take to get actual cash? Was it the same amount as the husband got? Their income isn't very high already and I'd hate for her to lose anything because she doesn't have enough to pay the utilities.
I am just trying to find out where she needs to go, what she needs to have on hand, and what planning she needs to do to get by until she can draw a payment. She needs to focus on her husband and not worry about this. I want to have a bunch of stuff written down for her so she will have a list of phone numbers and information to ask about.
Thanks.
ETA
I guess you guys are right about my term, elderly. She just seems so much older. My sister isn't very old but she acts and comes off as ancient! I will pass on that she has some options about working.
I think they did a very very smart thing when they cashed everything in. To pay off everything.
The house and vehicles and outstanding credit bills were paid off. She has no mortgage, no car payments, no credit card bills for stuff they bought last year, etc...
She might be able to work part time in a minimum wage job greeting customers at Walmart but at her age and without marketable skills she isn't going to be someone that will be hired for anything more.
This woman won't have money to pay for training of any sort. If she could get financial aid to pay for it then she could do that but with all the budget cuts I imagine she won't be able to get that. I don't think taking out student loans is a good idea though. They take forever to pay off so if she got student loans she'd be paying on them the rest of her life.
One of my friends careers stopped being a high paying career. The bottom fell out? So he has been going to college the last few years. When he got his financial aid letter the budget cuts have cut his financial aid more than half. He's a parent who worked part time to supplement his family income, wife is on disability due to her having MS. So he can't pay cash for his classes and is about 10 hours from graduating with a degree. He's working at a country club making minimum wage about 35 hours per week. He won't ever be able to finish college. Every penny he makes has to go towards providing for his family. With his degree he would have had opportunities to work and make $50K-$70K per year. He tried for a loan too, that didn't work out. Those budgets were cut too.
As for the obituary. I think he wrote a lot of stuff down like where he was born, stuff about growing up there (jobs and stuff) so that there would be mention of his early life. Then family names, those he wants mentioned.
My husband wrote his obituary years ago. It's on his desktop page, an icon, when you open his computer.
****************************
There is no life insurance or anything else. Even if someone sues them, there is no money. Only their home, personal belongings, and a vehicle each. No other real estate or cash or luxuries.
Any money they'd have from any insurance would go for him medical bills at the end. Cremation because there is no money for a funeral.
His social security will be her only income. I suppose she could try to go back to work but she hasn't had a job in at least 20 years and has no computer training or anything that would help her to be a desirable employee.
Their home and things are in both their names, they fixed this all up when he first got sick and wasn't able to work anymore. They prepared for the eventuality that he wasn't going to be working again and would pass away in a not too distant time. Everything goes to her and when she's gone what is left goes to the kids. They already took care of that.
They cashed everything in, all life insurance, all savings through past employers, all money they had and then they paid cash to pay off their home and vehicles and everything they could. Paid house and vehicle insurance for a year, got tags, they tried to think of everything that would be a problem. They kept only one credit card but it's paid off every month because they just don't use it for much of anything.
Holy cow...she is not elderly...she is middle aged...my husband's grandmother will be 103 on Wednesday...that's elderly.😊
I'm going to be no help here but I've got to say that I'm sitting here laughing because she's in her late 50's and you referred to her as elderly. I'm in my late 50's and I certainly don't consider myself elderly at all. Maybe in my 70's I will be someone in their 50's isn't elderly.
Your friend can take courses at the local community college to get certified in something. A lot of people have many different careers as they move through the years. Maybe she can contact a temp agency. A lot of companies use temps to check out people and then hire them full time.
She has a lot of options but collecting social security isn't one of them unless she's disabled.
She will not get benefits until she turns 60. She will have to find a job as quickly as possible. She is not elderly at late 50s. She could easily live until 90! She needs to lay it out for her children and see if they can help her while she gets some training and gets a job! She needs to plan on a 15 - 20 year career. To get maximum social security benefits, she can't take it until 70. It sounds like she doesn't have health insurance either. She will be wise to obtain a job that offers some if possible. Do you have Starbucks near you?
Quick ways to start getting some cash:
She can sell a car to obtain some cash - take him off the car insurance - they will give a refund for his portion.
She can rent a room in her house - May bring in several hundred a month. If necessary, move in with one of her children and rent her whole house out while she gets herself back on her feet financially.
Does she babysit? Teach her about care.com - she sounds like she has the skills to do that in the meantime.
Everyone who is not ill can work - there are cleaning services, being a crossing guard for the school board, greeter at Wal-Mart, checkout clerk at your local grocery store, etc. She may need to work more than one job to start - definitely not ideal but on the other hand she will not have a lot of time on her hands
Good luck!
My father passed away last year in the summer. My mother had been a housewife for over 40 years. We had him cremated and actually, the funeral director took care of alerting the social security administration of his passing, and sent them the death certificate. My mother called to confirm, and they acknowledged receipt and told her she will no longer get her check and his, but just his. She then called the life insurance provider and provided them with her copy of the death certificate. In about a month, they sent her the proceeds of his policy. The hardest things for us to deal with were closing up his office, getting all the furniture out, cancelling his office phone and internet, and things of that nature. They refused to acknowledge his death, despite sending them death certificate copies, and put my father in collections. They cannot collect a debt from a dead person, but the correspondence and phone calls were extremely harassing.
My cousin was a Walmart greeter until he was 70.
Both of you can get information from the Social Security Web site. I've talked with Social Security several times. They have been respectful and helpful with
information. I suggest making a list of circumstances so that the agent has accurate information in an easily understood way. Make a list of questions, leaving space to jot down answers. Summarize the answers as, you understand them, at the end so that you can know if you heard and understood right.
I suggest she learns as much as she can understand from their Web site and then make an appointment at the local SS office. This has worked best for me. Your friend should take a friend or family member with her. "Two heads are better than one." I suggest she have her children help her. The more they know about her situation, the better they can provide support.
BTW: I'm 73 and don't consider myself old. I figure I have another 20 years ahead of me. Smile.
There are some things her husband needs to do now if he hasn't already: get a will made, be sure his wife's name is on all property, talk with an estate lawyer to be sure everything that needs his signature has been done.
About the funeral. She can have a funeral with cremation. I suggest she consider having someone plan a celebration of life. Perhaps make it a potluck or have it catered. Perhaps one of her children or you could plan it. This is common in my world. Funeral home seizes can be expensive. I'd check with several if she would like a more formal one. The funerals for both of my parents were less than $1000 each. Maybe more like $5-600. They had basic caskets, few flowers paid for by us. We went to my brother's house for a light meal afterwards. I bought rolls, cold cuts, salads.
She is definitely not elderly in her late 50s. She may need to find a job to help support herself until social security age. And she may even enjoy the distraction and social aspect after her husband is gone. Maybe as part of your footwork, you and some friends can brainstorm and list suggested different part-time jobs in your area. You could even pick up applications for her. Not every job requires computer skills and some will train for the limited amount she would need.
Updated
She is definitely not elderly in her late 50s. She may need to find a job to help support herself until social security age. And she may even enjoy the distraction and social aspect
The funeral director will ask her how many copies of the death certificate she wants. She should get several, one for Social Security, one for each life insurance policy, and one for any pension he might have from his former employer.
I agree with the post below that a will can be made out if her husband is presumed mentally competent. Everything should go to her but it's really easier if there's a will - it prevents any other relatives from coming after the estate. My husband's father's estate was sued by his father's brother & children for supposed money owed to support their mother - my FIL hadn't kept good records of all the money he had paid for her support. My MIL really needed that money to live on. So it can get ugly even if the couple's children aren't the problem.
I would think that you could get some of the forms necessary and have them on hand. Obviously they can't be filled out beforehand. Your friend should also find out where the life insurance policies are, and where her husband has filed anything else important (e.g. pension info). I know it's hard for her to have these conversations, but assuming her husband knows that he's failing, they really need to do this now.
I have no idea why your one friend couldn't collect SS for a year - that seems very excessive.
If he's not too incapacitated yet it's not too late for him to make out a will.
https://www.widowmight.org/node/18
http://wealthcareforwomen.com/widow-first-year/
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/03/your-money/4-money-pitf...
Additional:
If he can do a will now, it will save her some trouble later on.
There are a lot of ladies that work at the school cafeteria that are in a similar position to your friend.
It's physical work and the money isn't great but many ladies do it.
She can also waitress or work in a super market.
She might have to downsize her lifestyle - one economic vehicle, cut cable tv and data plan on a smart phone and get a basic phone (or make sure her services are bundled so she gets a price break on them).
She might be able to get by bu she's going to have to be very careful and frugal in her spending habits.
This is so sad. Most wait until someone is on their death bed, or dies, and then tries to figure out how to financially survive without them. That's what life insurance is for. If there is ONE thing we know for SURE...it's that we are all going to die. So we should be responsible enough to plan for that while we are still young enough to afford it. Insurance only gets more expensive as you get older. Unfortunately no one likes to pay for it so then I guess they like to get a job in their later years instead and work until they die.
I know this isn't helping you but I hope others that read this will take it to heart and get a policy in place now. If he had a life insurance policy for enough to keep her living comfortably without him, then the answer to your question would be: She needs to call the life insurance company so they can cut a check. Done. Good luck.
You can start drawing social security when you are 62, maybe 61, can't remember because social security has never been something I looked at to live on. Maybe I will get it, maybe not, who cares. Still there is no different answers, your friend and your parents didn't get different answers, they were at different ages.
The best thing anyone can do is never see social security as retirement just as you don't look at unemployment as a way to support yourself. It was never meant to live on but to make sure you can live.
You turn in the death certificate to social security the surviving spouse gets a percentage of what their spouse was getting. I don't know the percentage but obviously you are now supporting one, you don't get the full amount.
Perhaps it is because my dad told me at 16 don't expect that money that I have never looked at is as anything more than me supporting others when it has come out of my check. If my husband died, the mortgage would be paid off and I would move on financially. I, like my dad, have always had control over my retirement, not the government.
Per your extensive what happened I am not sure why you think someone can't go after the house and cars for that matter. They own them jointly, half is part of the estate and the estate must settle its debts if possible. Most people are not so heartless to put someone out of their home but legally they can. Usually what it is based on is what the asset is worth. If they have a nice home, fully paid, damn skippy the debtors will force a sale. If they live in a modest home no one will make her sell it to pay off the medical bills.
Gamma, no matter that their stuff is in joint name, a will is absolutely critical. I sure hope he has one. Tell her to make sure that the will actually says the names of their kids, not just "children". It would be a shame if she had to pay a lawyer to look for children outside of her marriage, like happened to TF when her husband died.
The funeral home will ask your friend how many death certificates she needs, and they will order them for her. It's part of their service. She will have to pay for the certificates. I doubt she'll need more than 5. Tell her to make sure when they arrive that all the information is correct. My dad's had a typo and we had to pay for more all over again. Glad that I caught it before I sent them anywhere - birthdate and social security number MUST be correct or it will get her in a heap of trouble. She will need to make an appointment with the courthouse, take the original Will with her, his social security card, their marriage license, all her papers of what they own, house, car, bank statement, etc. They will give her Letters of Testimentary that she will use for various things, like the bank, getting the car and house into her name, etc. There's a fee for those too.
She will need to write a letter to each of the 3 credit bureau agencies informing them that her husband died. She will need to attach COPIES (NOT originals) to the letters. It's very important to do this so that some jerkoff doesn't open up credit cards in her late husband's name. People troll obituaries for enough information about someone in order to do this.
Speaking of obits, she should write it now, if she wants it to have any substance other than the obligatory few lines in the newspaper. It's very hard to write it right after a death. It may have to be done in order to get the death certificate. She should NOT put his birthdate there, OR their address. There are also people who come to a bereaved family's home during the funeral and ransack it. So terrible.
She will need to call the car insurance company if he is still on the policy and tell them that he has passed away. Quite frankly, if he is still on the car insurance as a covered driver, she could take him off now and save some money.
About social security - there's a local social security office that she should go to and sit down with a real person. She should eat a good breakfast, take a snack with her, and just GO. It may take several trips. If your other friend was over 60, there was absolutely no excuse for her to have had to wait a year to start drawing on her husband's social security. Your friend didn't take care of it in a timely manner. This friend, however, is not old enough to draw social security right now. However, she should go in and take all her paperwork and find out exactly when she can start drawing SS and how to apply. Tell her to have a file folder or a gallon ziplock bag, something that will keep all her papers in order. Tell her that she has to be organized. She needs to write notes on what they say, what date they said it and their names.
She also needs to know about medicare. That's really important. How does she have medical insurance? She's not 65, so I don't know if she can qualify for medicare. That, she better start finding out about now...
She will need a tax advisor to help her out. Just because there aren't many assets doesn't mean that there aren't real tax consequences in a death. People think that just because they don't have to pay estate taxes, that they don't have to pay. That's just not true. Tell her not to try to do her own taxes.
Good luck to your friend. It's a heartache that all of us will have to go through at one point or another and settling an estate is so traumatic.
She is not elderly. She is in her late 50s. She will be able to collect reduced social security benefits as a widow at age 60 or full benefits at full retirement age. So she will need to support herself until she is 60. What a woman does when her husband passes away and she isn't working? Relies upon their savings is the standard answer. If she has no savings but they do own their home, they should look into a reverse mortgage. There are strict regulations about who qualifies and it looks like at least one borrower must be age 62. I don't know if one can be your friend's age or not. But I would look into it.
Send death certificate to SS. Payments will then go to her. Actually do not send it, take it to nearest SS office.
He needs to have a will and advanced directive in place. Is he still mentally aware and competent?
The wife needs to call social security or she can hire a lawyer to make sure everything is in order - will, life insurance, etc. Here's a link for Social Security.
https://www.ssa.gov/survivors/
Everything is different for each state.
Based on the other answers, she will not qualify for Soc Sec benefits for several years, so you and your other friends will help her most by gathering information about possible jobs. Not all jobs require computer skills--think child care, customer service, restaurants, ...
She should make sure to get *LOTS* of copies of the death certificate from the funeral home (even with a cremation, she will need to go through a funeral home and they know the process for getting the certificates). My mother has needed more copies of the certificate than any of us expected, since any organization with whom he has any financial dealings (employers past and present, retirement funds, the military, credit card company, bank, gov't agencies, etc) will require a copy. I think she can get more copies from the funeral home later if she needs, however it's easier to have them on hand.
Such a sad situation. It's good you are helping to get information together so she has someplace to start in the fog afterwards.
