What Has Been Your Red-shirted Child's Experience, So Far?

I can't give a serious answer to this because I haven't had to deal with it - I hope you get some good info.

I just had to comment on a humorous note because when I read the title, being a Star Trek fan I was really confused and my brain froze in a crazy amusement. The reason - the "red shirted" crewman was the one who usually got eaten or otherwise "removed" from the episode in an untimely manner.

So TOTALLY not what you were asking about :)

Good luck with the decision!

I'm not there yet, but my son was born 2 weeks after the cut off. I was always upset by this, but now I'm happy about it. He socially would not be ready, it's just the way he is. I meet a family who's youngest was put ahead because he was reading at 4 yrs and was bored, but now that he's in 3rd grade...socially, just not ready. My sister was born early and so she made the cut off by 2 weeks. She was held back in second grade by my parents.

WHAT does RED SHIRT MEAN? Anyway, my son's birthday falls exactly on the date so I put him in as the youngest. Any catching up he had to do in life was because he didn't do his work or slacked in some way. He however conveniently placed the blame on this at times. So does it make any difference-I think not. It is the person, not the age. By the way he made it this far-he is taking college classes with people of all ages now.

I red-shirted 2 of mine. The first my daughter that is now 26, and she always LOVED being oldest. She was way ready to start school academically, but my gut told me not to start her and I never ONCE regretted it. Especially because she ended up with health problems and so that gave her one more year at home for me to watch over her. :-)

The 2nd was my now 10 year old. He could be in 5th, but is in 4th. He also was academically ready, but I was concerned about social and emotional readiness. I've also never regretted it and he is at the top of his class and popular with his peers.

There are 2 thing to consider. First, do you want your daughter starting high school at 14 with seniors who are 19? Second, if there is an error to be made in your decision, would you prefer it to be a gamble or on the side of caution?

Because of the trend to hold kids, ages within a classroom can range between 18 and 22 or 24 months. That is a LOT, and would you rather your child be the older or the younger in that large of an age range?

For those who asked, yes "Redshirting" is a term used in athletics, but it has now been adopted as a term referring to those who begin Kindergarten a year late. Surprised you haven't heard it in the media?

Hi S....my husband and I made the decision to give our twin boys that extra year as well. They turned 6 thetas past June and started kindergarten late August. I am so glad we did it. They both love school and are doing very well. I helped out at their fall party on Thursday so I got a chance to see the rest of their classmates and believe me, I could clearly tell who the young ones were. I think for us this will work out in the long run. That being said, I have a 13 year old daughter with a mid august birthday. We made the decision to put her in kindergarten 8 days after her 5th birthday. Sort of wish we had waited. She has done pretty well academically but math has been challenging for her, I wonder if another year of maturity would have made some of those concepts easier. Also, around 5th grade when all the social drama set in, she seemed more sensitive to the garbage of other girls. Middle school is even crazier. Also, a lot of the other girls in her grade (8th) are really "growing up" at a fast rate. Sexier clothes, makeup, boy crazy...I can tell that those social pressures are getting harder for my daughter to resist. Some of these girls are nearly a year older than my daughter so I can see why they are more ready for that. Maybe if she was still in 7th grade, the pressure wouldn't feel so extreme to her. I'm dreading what she will be feeling next year as a freshman in a big high school having barely turned 14, know what I mean? Anyway, best wishes on your choice, I think you are probably making the right one :-)....

So sorry about the spelling stuff, my iPad is a pain in the rear for long typing!

Hi S.-

My oldest daughter was born 28 september...the 'cut off' at the time was 30 september...I struggled with this because she was 'early' (only 4 weeks...but still...).

Ultimately, I sent her 'on time' relative to her school system...and I am glad I did!! She ended up the tallest (yet youngest) in her 'peer' group...and is now a junior in college!

She was SO ready for college as a HS junior...and I am SO glad I listened to my 'mom gut' and let her GO!

My sons have been a bit different...but none of them were 'close' to a cut off date...lol

I am a FIRM believer in a 'mom' gut instinct...I would listen...and make a choice from that 'gut' instinct...

Mine has rarely been wrong...trust YOURS...

best luck!
michele/cat

My oldest son has a July birthday and we decided to wait until he turned 6 to start kindergarten because we felt he wasn't ready. It worked out very well. He had no problems with starting at 6 because all the other kids in his class turned 6 during the school year. He actually liked being the oldest kid in his class. He's now 12 and started 6th grade in a middle school. He's doing great! :)

I've heard several moms regret that they didn't wait another year, but I've never heard a mom regret that they did wait.

Best wishes! =o)

I would really wait until she's a little older and just make sure she's in a preschool to keep her challenged until then. I teach middle school and I am now getting students whose parents were able to put them in kindergarten at 4.8. I've spoken with many of these parents now that their kids are 13 and they wish they waited. They tell me they didn't see a problem until the kid hits middle school. Huge issues with maturity, organization, abstract thinking, critical thinking, etc. Good luck!

I would make my decision based on her overall maturity and readiness, not by the calendar. Her experience won't be like yours. Some kids are way ready the minute they turn 5 and some aren't. Has she been attending a pre-school? Her pre-school teachers would be able to give you input into this decision.

My daughter's birthday is in March, so I didn't have this decision to make, but I'm quite sure I would have sent her to K if her birthday had been in July or even August. She was just very socially mature and ready for a more structured school environment at 5.

It depends a lot on the kid. I would take as objective a look as I could at my child and where SHE is and WHO she is and try not to judge her on my own childhood.

Due to the calendar, my SS was older than many of his classmates. He was almost 6. It didn't negatively affected him. He was able to drive before many of his peers, and he may have been more ready than some of the other boys in his class that were younger 5s when they started school.

SD, also late July, started on time and was a young-ish 5 but it's never been an issue for her socially, that I've noticed. She will graduate HS this year with high marks and a lot of friends.

If there are any other kids in the family, look at the schedule. I would be less likely to hold back a child who could otherwise handle school if it meant that he or she would start with a younger sibling. My mother was held back in early elementary and suffered having her younger sister in her grade til they graduated.

I agree that you should still encourage some sort of learning experience - is she in preschool? Will they let her stay? If not, take a look at what she'll be expected to know as a kindergartner and teach her those things before she gets there.

I am assuming red shirting is holding her back lol!! Sorry I never heard the term. I am an educator and YES, YES, YES, hold her back. School has become increasingly difficult, a lot of homework, and basically 1st grade is like second grade used to be. I have coworkers who have children in elementary school that have their children coming home crying due to the workload. Give her another year, there is nothing wrong with being the oldest, I think it can only benefit her. Basically you know your child best and you can really only make the decisions, but I haven't seen holding any child back a bad thing!! Good decision!!

Our daughter is a July child. She has always been one of the youngest in her classes. There was no way I could have held her back a year. She was already reading and writing. She had been in daycare for years and knew how to raise her hand. How to follow multiple directions. SHE was ready. She has always been shy. That is never going to change it is part of who she is. She still feels socially inept, but so does my husband. They actually do great.

When she was kinder there were children reading on 3rd and 5th grade levels. Yes, they were young like our daughter. summer birthdays. Once again, there is no way they could have been held back.

Our daughter graduated while 17 her roommate her Freshman year in College did not turn 18 till December.
She also was a mature young woman.

Now a days it is considered good to be smart. To be mature and to be geeky individuals.. It is not like back in the 80, and 90's with all of the dating etc.. Now the kids go out in groups. Even to the Prom.. So being socially adept is not as important as being intelligent.

Never underestimate your child. Always follow her lead. She will blow you away every time.

My son's birthday is July 5. This may not be true for all situations, but sending him to school when he was five was a huge mistake on my part, one of those "if I could go back and do it over" moments. Good luck in finding the best decision for your child.

It's more about whether or not she's ready for kindgarten or not.
I had summer children and they both started kinder when they turned 5 and got to graduate at 17. I think that's the best way unless your daughter in not showing the maturity to enter school yet.
EDIT: I had to look up "redshirting", it's a sports term for athletes that have been kept out of competition for a year.

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I struggled with the decision to red shirt my summer birthday kids. It has been the best decision i've made! They have some kids that they are a whole year older than, and then some kids that they are only a couple months older than. They are doing great in school...they don't struggle like some (some, not all) of the younger kids but they aren't bored either. They love school. The kindergarten teachers even thanked me because they had alot of 5 year olds that just weren't ready for school and my kids were definitely ready at 6. I love the fact that they are one of the oldest because they can handle social and academic situations with ease. Good luck with your decision!

i am from Illinois and have never heard the term red shirted before. is it perhaps just a term from your own school district? My oldest son has an august 13 birthday. the start date is same as yours sept 1st. he went for 3 days and the teacher pulled me and and suggested that we wait a year. pull him out and start him next year. he was just not emotionally ready. academically fine but not ready to sit still etc. so we pulled him and started him the next year. So glad we did. We just attended his college graduation. magna cum laud. He attended a catholic school. we were lucky as in holy angels he was pulled for advanced stuff starting in 2nd grade. he was doing college math at marmion by sophomore year.
as far as your daughter possibly feeling like others were lame because they were younger. that type behavior would happen at the highschool level more than kindergarten level. unless you have an 8 year old in kindergarten I don't really see that happening. the only thing we noticed age wise was that my son got his drivers license almost a year earlier than a lot of the kids in his classes. good luck

This depends on your child. My daughter and I both have September birthdays. So we both just made cut off dates (Sept 30th here) and I was and she is the youngest in the class. I had no problems academically, and socially even being the youngest I tended to be more mature than most of my classmates. My daughter was socially mature for her age during preschool and was reading and writing at 4. I would have fought to have her in kindergarten if she had not made the cut off date because not only was she academically ready but socially as well. If she was less mature with her peers I would have held her back. She's 15 now and still no problems and the only complaint she really has is that all her friends will drive before her. This does not break my heart :) My best friend on the other hand held her daughter back because she was struggling with her peer group and it was the perfect decision for her. Once she was the oldest instead of the youngest she gained confidence and she will most likely graduate this year with honors. Do what you feel is right for your daughter.

I'm sorry - I don't know what a red-shirt is.

You need to do what's right for you and your daughter. If she won't be mature enough to start kindergarten this coming year, don't start her.

Doesn't mean you still can't "school" her. It just won't be in the classroom at a school with her peers.

Do what works for you.

If she is not in some kind of preschool program now, maybe you should consider one since that may make the difference in her being ready or not ready for K. How is YOUR daughter academically and socially? You may have had a bad experience but your daughter could be very different. Also, there are oftentimes pre-kindergarten or "junior kindergarten" programs available to help "bridge the gap" for those kids with late birthdays that are too old for 4 year old preschool but may not be ready for K just yet. If she is going to preschool now, her teacher should be able to give you some idea of how he/she thinks she will do in K next year and how ready they think she is.

So many parents are holding their kids back these days that if you do the same for her, I seriously doubt that come high school, she will the only one who started K late and therefore is that much older than her classmates. The older they get, the less age differences seem to matter.

My son turned 5 in July, and he is attending what our school district calls "Transitional Kindergarten." It's basically an extra year so that he'll begin kindergarten when he's 6. I tell him he's in the 2 year kindergarten.

I sent him to preschool when he was 3. They had a 3's class and a 4's class. He was by far the smallest kid in the class, but he was happy and didn't seem to notice or didn't care. He loved it, he loved his teachers. It was a great fit. As he began his 2nd year, I kept noticing little things with his peers that made me wonder if we were going to have a maturity issue. He's always been very bright, but socially he just looked like the youngest.

I really thought it would be best to find another school in town that offered a PreK (other than the public schools, because I found out that in Illinois those who are age eligible for kindergarten are excluded from the PreK programs. The only kids eligible are 3's and 4's prior to Sept 1).

I was beyond thrilled when I found out our school district had the funds to do this transitional kindergarten. Besides the fact that it's free, it meant he didn't have to change schools. His preschool teacher was very encouraging. Our school district screened all incoming kindergartners and actually recommended him for this program (my husband wanted to know if they thought it was a good idea or if it was just me), and a couple of weeks ago his teacher told me she thought it was the right decision and that he might really have struggled in kindergarten.

For me it was really his social maturity (which you can't do anything about, it just takes time) and his size. Also, "No Child Left Behind" has really forced school districts to do more and most are much more academic in kindergarten. Kindergarten is the new first grade. They are really expected to sit still much more than I was, and I just don't see him excelling just yet.

I really feel it was the right decision for us. Hopefully you can talk to people in the school and get some helpful feedback. But by and large, you have to trust your gut.

Good luck!!!

We held one of ours, but in CA the cutoff date was Dec 1 so she would have started at 4 1/2 . She was not ready. By the next year she was academically ahead but right on target socially. She will start 9th grade next year. When she goes to college she will be almost 19.

We do have one that we skipped. She is a different kind of bug though, and I would not necessarily recommend it.

My oldest has an August birthday and I decided to get him into school "on time." I had a late birthday as well (mid-Oct bday back when the cutoff was Dec 1) and ended up being in the top of my classes all through elementary, middle & high schools and then did well in college as well. So, I figured that he was already a bright, inquisitive kid, so we put him in. School-wise, he excelled right away and had no issues keeping up with the work, in fact he's often the one that's bored vs the older kids. He's had his behavioral challenges, but keeping him home for an additional year wouldn't have helped that, I truly believe. Plus, his teachers have always assured us that he is well within the "normal" range for age-appropriate behavior.

I had my own social challenges in school, but it went well beyond the first couple years--therefore, I'm pretty confident that it wasn't my age's fault...I'm leaning more towards the other kids who, while being older, certainly didn't act like it.

If you think your child can handle it, I guarantee she won't be the youngest in her class and quite frankly, my child has never been made fun of for being younger than most. They all play together and no one calls out anyone else for being younger. Kids this age really don't get the whole school-cut-off-so-you're-younger-or-older thing.

So, we've had a successful experience with not red-shirting. But it's entirely up to you and how you feel your child will react and how well you feel your child is ready to start school.

I was "held back" a year while my sister has a birthday that was 2 hours from the cut off date!

We both did well. I was a b to c student (I was very learning disabled and ADHD, and much more interested in art class than English!) while she was more of an a student (she was in the schools gifted program).

My school actually held me back though as it wasn't my parents idea, more that the school noticed that I was struggling and highly suggested it. My own daughter is going through a second year of kindergarten so I trust the local schools would mention if your daughter was out of the loop.

We sent my son to an extra year of ps, but ended up moving to a district whose start day was June 1 instead of sept 1. So he wouldn't have made the cut off anyway --july bday.If you can follow that. But i think it was a great decision on our part and our new districts. he is in second now and while he is in the gifted program and a little bored in the reg classroom he is still a smidge behind in social maturity.I can't imagine him with a ton of older kids. now i feel he's more on an even level.

As a parent you know what to do, for your child. We started our son in K at 4 years old and he excelled. We finally homeschooled him because he was so bored. He's now 8, almost 9 and in 5th grade.

My brother's kids are REALLY small and he's waiting until they are 6 to start them.... Each parent does what they need to based on different needs, etc.

I was like you - was young, did well academically, but always a bit behind socially. If she is in preschool, get her teachers opinion. OR you could try to start her at 5 and see how it goes. Then decide. You can always repeat K.

I just answered someone else's question about this........

I won't rewrite the whole answer, but give you the abbreviated version:

At our school, the cut off date is June 1st. No exceptions. So if your daughter went to our school, she would not be allowed to go to Kindergarten yet.

In the 6 years we have been at the school, I have never once seen a child and thought "She should be in the class ahead of her." OR "She should be in the next class down." Every child fits perfectly in his/her class. So in my opinion, and the opinion of the Waldorf school - JUNE 1st should be the cut-off date for children starting school.

My son went from homeschooling (doing 3rd and 4th grade material) to second grade when I put him in Waldorf, because of his June 28th birthdate. I am SO very glad that he is in the class he's in. It's a perfect fit, and we have never regretted it.

I'm sure you won't either.

And thanks, Gidget, for explaining the "red shirt" reference. I'd never heard of it. (I don't read the newspaper and see very little TV, so missed it in the media, also.) : )