What Is Going on with My 16 Month Old

What your daughter is expressing is tension, apprehension, insecurity, abandonment and more as a result of you and your husband arguing in front of her and his refusal to play with her. You and husband have no business arguing in front of her. Do you think for one moment that she does not pick up on the energy, the 'vibes' that you two emit? CHILDREN NOTICE EVERYTHING. THEY ABSORB EVERYTHING. She cannot handle the tension you all are creating in the home. If you and your husband cannot discuss your differences sanely in front of her so she can see how problems can be solved sanely, then you need counseling. You must cease and desist from arguing in front of her ever again. Your husband's refusal to play with her is a childish/adolescent response and damaging to your child's sense of security and love no matter what. It is not your child's fault that you argue. Yet he is taking it out on her. He needs to check himself out; his response is a serious issue.

First question - was your daughter recently vaccinated? 15 month vaccines are in real question right now from many fronts - most especially the parents living through the problems. When the health of a child is in peril, they seek comfort. My friends daughter started very young saying "Mommy, I need you". It was incessant and it troubled the mom. Look, if this is emotional, you would be able to comfort and console her with much patience. If you cannot, the problem may be more. While I don't wish to scare you, I do hope to prevent a possible issue. Many, many, stories of autism spectrum behaviors start with a perfectly wonderful 15 month old becoming unconsolable or very unhappy following 15 months. Check out generationrescue.com and talkaboutcuringautism.org. Hopefully, this advice is unneeded and you can love her through a tough time. Sincerely, J

Even unborn babies feel and sense the tension, calmness, contentment, happiness of their mothers. So of course your 16 month old knows whats going on. She doesn't understand it - but the tension makes her feel insecure. Therefore she becomes clingy. Babies are smart little people with the same needs you have. To be loved, held, cared about.Children need both parents to participate in their raising. One thing parent always need to agree on - we will each love and care for the children regardless of what is going on between us. Wish you well.

Kids are barometers for tension -- yeah, she probably notices that something's off. Don't stress much. They're barometers for that too. Try talking it out with him. Little disagreements in front of kids aren't bad things -- they are lessons just like everything else. It's just that you also need to let them see the resolutions and the make-ups too. Big fights and name-calling, however, are not for in front of the kids (or anywhere else.)

She's old enough to sit down and ask, "What's going on?" or to say, "When you get frustrated with the book, instead of getting angry and losing your temper, ask for help."

Good luck!

It souinds like you answered your question there at the end...her world as she has known it has been turned upside down and inside out. The arguing and not playing with her is a jolt to her environment. Although 5 days is not a long period of time to us...it is a lifetime to her. I suggest you guys work it out in private and not argue in front of her. It is fine for her to see that you each have an independent way of thinking and that together you can reach a decision. But she should not feel that her foundation is broken (or even wobbly). Good luck!