What Is Ok Behavior in a 12Yo Girl?

I am a youth leader at our church and tween and teen girls go thorough this stage. Limit her computer time and help her find an outside the house activity that will take her attention from brain numbing activities. They need a little attention during this time but not smothering. Pray often and praise often. Give her some more responsibities around the house. This is very normal in this unfortunately. Mission work usually helps them focus off themselves and find a purpose in life. Plant a garden for a senior citizen.....

Limit her time being spent on the computer, tv watching and phone use. You may need to take her phone at bedtime as many will text and talk half the night and are not getting enough rest. She should spend more time with the family. Try to do some family activities that are fun. Games, watch a show together, plan badminton,miniature golf or whatever. She needs more reassurance within the family that she's terrific just as she is. V.

We have had the same experience with our 12-year-old. My friends who have older daughters tell me that this is normal behavior now in her age group and that we should not expect her to snap out of it for a few years. We limit cell phone and computer use or take them away completely and make her stay in the room with us when her attitude gets too sour. This seems to be extreme punishment to her. We have taken down her bedroom door (after a particularly bad meltdown) and she has been told that she has to earn it back with good behavior. (2 months and counting, but she has come close to getting it back a few times.) We still have some good times with her. She still asks me for advice at times, and will kid around or have tender moments when she is not hormonally driven. I hope this will continue and that we can keep the communication going.

To give her something constructive and challenging to do this summer, we put her in charge of drilling math facts daily with her younger brother. This is sort of working for the moment and we have promised her a big reward if he actually knows them at the end of the summer.

It's never good to be that withdrawn from family and face-to-face interaction with people. I say, turn that TV off and limit cell phone minutes. Perhaps, one of those cell phones which you have to "recharge" the minutes would work well. But, you definately have to sit down with her, voice your concerns, and draw out the rules before taking anything away. Tell her how much you miss her!

Good luck!

Nope, not too early at all. In fact, it might be time for you to sit down with her and have some girl talk as well. Doesn't have to be the sex talk, just talk about her body going through changes and how she can take care of herself properly. Like if she isn't wearing deoderant, you can talk to her about that, why we where it and if she feels she needs to. I don't remember when I started wearing it but I already had to buy it for my soon to be 9yr old because her pits were starting to get stinky!! You can talk to her about her skin getting oily and how and what to use to clean her face, possibly her period as well, bras, etc. Keep it simple, and get her to talk too so you aren't doing all the work.

Most importantly, compliment her!! Tell her her hair looks nice or how well her shoes go with her outfit type stuff. Work on building her confidence so she doesn't fall into that 'i can't leave the house without make up on' trap as she grows up!! And watch what you do around her too when it comes to clothes, hair and even with your male relationships (you didn't say if you were married or boyfriend) because you are going to be her unspoken guide as well. Watch her friends too. Now is a great time to keep your finger (without being noticed) on her friendships with other girls. Peer presure to smoke, skip school, drink, boys can all start at this age too. Don't think because you know your daughter that she wouldn't do anything think that either. The power and the need to have friends can over come all that you have ever taught her!!

For being pluged in-limit it. 1/2 hr blocks totaling 2 hrs a day or 2hrs a day and that's that. You aren't cutting off her life line but she needs to remember there are more important things in life than texting!!

Good luck!
S.

No, it's not too early. My granddaughter is overweight even though she's put herself on a strict food regiment. Doesn't help. If your daughter has been checked by a doctor and found not to be overweight, then someone at school is causing her problem. Talk to her teacher. Kids nowdays can be cruel. Watch all of your diets, but don't call it a diet - just good eating habits. If this doesn't work, tell her that the cell phone (communication) has to go. Try walking or bicycling - the whole family.