What Made You Give up on Breastfeeding?

Breastfeeding may be better, but formula is safe and nutritional and there is NOTHING wrong with a mother who choses formula over breastfeeding or who stops breastfeeding early.

My daughter was a preemie, she wasn't gaining enough weight on my breast milk, she wasn't latching on because she was still learning how to suck properly so I pumped and pumped and I hated it. It didn't work for us. My daughter NEEDED high calorie formula.

I never had a problem with the quanity of milk either it came and came way more than baby even needed. But it wasn't doing anything for her.

And I did have a friend who breastfed her child til she was 2.5 and the kid had major issues with eating normal table food, looked incrediably unhealthy and wouldn't eat anything.

Now I'm pregnant with #2 and I plan to try and breastfeed again but we'll see what happens.

as i put in another post, i dried up quicker and quicker with each baby i had. i really wanted to breastfeed my last baby (all of them i wish i could have done it longer). expectally knowing that my two older boys had to go to soy formula and the third was on neutramigen (hypo-allergenic) formula. i wanted to do it for the health reasons for the baby... the weight loss mothers can benifet from it (although i didn't loose the weight)and the bonding with the baby. my experiences weren't great, not only did i dry up quickly (with in months) but i would have chapped nipples from them sucking so hard trying to get milk. at one point i had to miss a day because they were actually bleeding. the dr said he was latched on correctly he was just trying to hard. it was really hard with my last baby, he would nurse for an hour or so and still want more so i had to bottle feed them. that took about 20 mins to drink the bottle, he was confussed on the bottle and had a hard time getting it because of the difference on the nipples. and before i knew it, it was time for him to eat again. i would spend 75% of my day feeding him. i would be able to sleep for 1/2 hour then it was time to do it again. i was honestly going on no sleep for the month. when i finally dried up after a month he had to be on neutramigen also. i know i have a 50/50 shot of this baby being on either the soy or neutramigen like my other boys were, we have chose to start the baby im pregnant with now on formula hopefully its less confussing on learning the switch from the nipples and im hoping to be not to be so sore and engorged. plus we all will be able to spend time bonding with the baby. i would get so fustrated with myself because i could not give him what he needs and would cry while making the bottle.

i have heard it from many people and family that im making the wrong choice for many reasons. the one that gets under my skin is that im being selfish.. i don't think im being selfish i think im putting ALL my kids best interest first. i know, even the smallest amount of breast milk is better than none, but i don't think its worth it at the cost of me being upset and the baby upset because they aren't getting what they need. and if this one is like the other one where im trying to feed for long periods of time then giving it the bottle anyways, really its not good for my other children me missing out on time with them.

but we feel this will be the best for the family because we will have time to bond with everybody instead of me being on the couch most of my time. who knows i could be very wrong and this one will work great..but after 4 times of it getting worse with each baby im choosing not to.

i have heard it all from both sides also.. i would feed my babies in public, well covered of course, and i would get dirty looks from people (even women) and comments like why don't you take that in the bathroom or out in your car we don't want to see that. its your choice not ours and we don't want to see it. can you believe the nerve of her doing that here..the list goes on. i think the worst i heard was from a woman.. as she walked past she said obviously she isn't getting enough from her man she needs to get the satifaction from that poor child, laughing as she said it.
and on the flip side i have heard it while i had to bottle feed.. why don't you do what is best for baby and not use the bottle. God gave you breast for one reason. i was selfish for not breast feeding. i don't want to take the time to do it. i was a bad mother for giving it a bottle.

after 4 babies i have learned you will never please everyone and if you spent all your time trying to make everyone else happy instead of yourself and your children your life will be hell. like grandma always said just take it with a grain of salt and know your the better person.

I had a horrible time trying to nurse. My daughter would NOT latch on no matter what I tried. My nipples are kind of flat and were HUGE compared to her tiny mouth. I used the breast shields and everything trying to get my nipples to stick out more. I even went to a lactation consultant who just said "Keep trying." Well after weeks of trying to get her to latch with her just screaming I finally gave in to just giving her bottles of pumped milk. I had to pump every 2 hours day or night in order to produce enough milk, and my nipples became so sore and cracked even when I used lanolin every time. I ended up getting Mastitis 3 times before I finally gave up. And even then I felt so guilty about quitting that I would just cry and get depressed about it. I hated every second of it, and I will try again with my next baby, but definitely NOT to the extent that I did with my first. The lactation consultants that I talked to really did make me feel like I wasn't putting in enough effort, and I couldn't keep running out to appointments to meet with them every day being a first time mom with no sleep. I feel like people need to be more supportive and not lay on the guilt trips. It is the last thing a new mom needs!!!

I tried my hardest with both my girls to breastfeed but neither one of them wanted anything to do with the breast! They lost so much weight and I felt so horrible for it but it wasn't all my fault. When they refused and refused and would get so upset because they were so hungry but still wouldn't take the breast I started to feel guilty and felt like a horrible mother because I couldn't give them what they really wanted. In turn that caused me to stress out and made the situation even worse! So we gave up! Both my kiddos were/are fed formula and they are doing GREAT!!! I talked to lactation consultants who just made me feel like I was making a bad decision and for a minute I thought I was and was going to start breastfeeding again but DH said NO we have discussed this completely and both feel it is the best thing for our child. I do still feel bad at times for giving up but I know it was for the best! Because my youngest is getting formula rather than breast milk, at 1 month old she is sleeping completely through the night! Believe me I do envy those who were able to breast feed with such ease and I do admire those who had more patience than I did and even though they had rough times they stuck with it and worked through their problems. I also admire those who do formula feed proudly! Breast feeding isn't for everyone and you know what formula is, like someone else said, nutritional and does the job effectively! I am glad to formula feed because both my girls are healthy and happy. I have more time with my older daughter now that my younger one goes longer between feedings. So my older one doesn't get jealous because she still has mommy time! And my DH gets the same bonding experience as I do!

I don't get it but I would say that more poeple need to let others live. Live and let live and mind your own business. What ever happened to those two sayings?

R., what a wonderful question! I supplemented formula from the beginning for many of the reasons that Vanessa listed. I also had Raynaud's Phenomena which made nursing so painful that I had to do Lamaze type breathing to keep from passing out. Kind of defeats the bonding purpose doesn't it?
I am glad that you think making mom's feel bad for not being able to nurse is absurd. You can be an encouragement to a mom who struggles! Unfortunately there are people who think that everyone should be able to blissfully breastfeed if they try hard enough. They look down on people who give a bottle because they are "selfish" and "uneducated".
I even had a server in a restaurant lecture me because I was feeding my baby a bottle! People can be very rude. I had someone tell me that they would not even consider formula when she saw me mixing a bottle. Well, I had never considered it either until my baby was starving.
I love that you asked, "how can you blame someone who didn't have a choice?" Most die hard breastfeeders can't see past their "knowledge" to see that some people don't have a choice.
We all know that breast is best and it broke my heart to have to supplement formula. I too was judgemental of people who bottlefed until I had these experiences.
You are very kind to bring this up. Let's all continue to encourage each other!
Blessings on you!
*** I do want to add that I know several women who exclusively breastfeed with no trouble and they have always been sensitive and gracious to me. My friend broke down and cried with me when she could pump 9 oz. out of each side in one sitting! Did I begrudge her that? NO. I am so glad for her and even more glad for her babies.

I always thought that woman who were breastfeeding snobs were stuck on their own self importance. Yeah, it's nice to breastfeed (for some woman) but for others it's nothing more then torture for one reason or another. It doesn't mean your a bad mother or a bad person.

I know one woman who breastfed her baby until she was 2yo. Which would not be for me, but the crazy part was. The child had such sever allergies that the Mother couldn't eat anything other then rice and beans. Now that can't be healthy. But that was her choice. I can tell you now, she is soooo glad to be done.

I quit because I was miserable and I hated it. I did it for 4 months and that was enough. I seriously went into a depression because of it. I am not one to public brestfeed so I would do it ni private. Well, my son ate ALOT and he ate SLOWLY so I always felt like I was in his nursery feeding him. It was total isolation and it was horrible. So I stopped and I could not have been happier. I was judged and questioned and made to feel horrible. But in the end, I did what worked for me.

K.

Nipple Nazis suck, don't they?

While I personally believe that breast milk is best (backed by numerous factual reasons), it's not for everyone. Whether a woman has a physical reason not to breastfeed or an emotional one, it should be her choice.
On the same token, breastfeeding just isn't some people's "thing", and that doesn't mean they love their children any less.

I had twin preemies and a subsequent micro preemie. In the NICU, we were all pretty much expected to pump and feed our babies breast milk. I'm so thankful that I was physically able to do so, but I pity the fool that would give me the stink-eye if I had chosen not to!

I say love your baby and do what you think is best for them, and tell everyone else to mind their business.

With my first, it was difficult from the beginning. He had a hard time latching, he couldn't even latch on to the nurses pinky...so they bottle fed him in the hospital. I think because of that my milk didn't come in real great. I tried breast feeding him at home, we struggled with it for 2 weeks. I was fustrated, he was angry and fustrated, I finally asked my doctor if it was OK to pump. I pumped for about 8 weeks, but couldn't get enough, so I was supplementing. Then at the end of the 8 weeks what made me finally have to quit was my grandma was sick and we were in the hospital a lot, I couldn't keep up with a proper pumping schedule to get my production up, and I went back to work and though I have to be allowed to pump, with the job I had, it was just to demanding and I couldn't get away on a regular schedule. So finally I gave up.

I tried again with DS#2. He latched well and was doing well eating. Although, in the beginning it takes like 45 minutes to feed. When you are the only one home with a 20 month old and a new born-DH sometimes had softball or work-, you just can't take 45 minutes to feed. The 20 month old needed too much attention.

So I tried pumping, again, but again sitting there for 20 minutes to pump with a new born needing you AND a 20 month old requiring attention, it just wasn't happeingin. I think I tried that for a month.

I finally submitted both times to formula. And you know, my kids have not been any more sickly than any other kids. In fact they get sick less often than a girl at thier daycare who's mom produced so much milk, she was sending it down to one of those donation porgrams in Texas. So I don't feel bad about it at all.

Thanks for posting this. It's comforting to know there are others that are going through the same experience.

As I posted in a request earlier this week, my daughter was actually hospitalized overnight for dehydration after my milk still hadn't come in after 5 days. It never really did - pumping 15 minutes every 3 hours just got me barely a teaspoon per side and I never did experience engorgement.

I was lucky enough to have a lactation consultant who was supportive of me no matter which direction I chose to go. Just in case my milk was just slow to come in, I did the feeding my daughter with the dropper and then used the set-up where a tiny tube is taped to my breast to let formula flow when my daughter was nursing to help minimize nipple confusion. However, she was being a smart kid and still realized that the dropper was the better route - it was a lot easier than spending an hour and hardly getting anything on my breast and started to refuse to nurse! So after 2 days, when I decided to give up and go to complete bottle feeding, my LC actually said that I stuck it out longer than a lot of moms in the situation would, so I should never feel guilty about stopping trying to nurse.

Honestly, I felt so much relief with the first bottle of formula I gave my daughter. I finally knew she was getting the proper amount of food to keep her healthy! After the emotional rollercoaster of re-admitting our new baby to the hospital to have an IV put in overnight (I had my breakdown of crying my eyes out that night already and really couldn't handle more struggling to feed her), I was okay with bottle feeding. I also liked the fact that my husband would now have the chance to bond with his daughter in this way as well. I was never sure how long I would breast feed anyway, but at least wanted to give my daughter the benefits of breastmilk in her very early life and also hoped it would help me lose some of the baby weight. But it just wasn't meant to be.

But now I do feel like I have to tell my story to defend myself whenever I am giving her a bottle, let alone if I was a mom who chose bottle feeding for any other reason. Today's push for breastmilk is best often leaves out the fact that formula is really a close second and has it's own advantages. Besides, my husband and I were both bottle fed and figured we turned out okay!

Thank you R., I'm currently struggling with breastfeeding my 5 1/2 month old right now. I do not produce enough milk to keep up with her demands (have not since I returned to work and work 10 hour days), and are supplementing with formula when she needs it. I've done everything I could have possible done, taken fenugreek, currently on reglan, pumping more, etc. I pump 3 times a day at work and after she goes to bed at night and in the morning. Not that I want to give up on it, but there is not much more I can do, but I will continue until I can no longer produce anything for her

I think that we're all aware of the benefits of breastfeeding but I don't think that people realize what someone goes through emotionally and mentally when they are not able to be as "bountiful" as other woman are.

I thank you for bringing this up, as I was noticing the same thing.

Thank you!!!

I agree with you in regards to how judgemental people are, and how even society is so unexcepting of either. I have a friend who nursed her first baby, and she was given evil looks for her breastfeeding in public, yet, when she decided to feed her 2nd baby formula, she got evil looks for NOT breastfeeding. You just can't please everyone so do what you are comfortable with.

I plan on nursing my 2nd (due in Sept) and I nursed my first until she was 11 months. Weaning went great and earlier than I wanted but after a while, my daughter (who was running by 10 months) wouldn't have anything to do with it, so we went straight to whole milk.

In my opinion, there was little that I actually liked about nursing and more that I disliked. They say it's the most natural thing in the world...yet, the only natural thing about it was the fact that I made the milk. Sore and leaking Dolly Parton boobs, pumping and sanitizing, nursing in public, nursing in the HOT HOT sun, spills all over because my boobs are engourged and milk squirts everywhere including me, my clothes and the baby...ish! Who wants it?!?!?!

But,...there are benefits...especially for the health the baby which is why I sacrafised. I thought about quitting SOOO many times, and kept struggling, mostly because of pressures of society. Our moms generation, nursing (especially in public) was highly frowned upon. We all survived on formula...and formula has come a long way since we were babys. So, don't worry so much about what people think...who cares!!! Do what's right for you and be proud of your decision...no matter what it is!

This thread has been a great one for morale and support, thank you!

I did not even try breastfeeding with either of my sons. This time we discussed it, but (1) I wasn't comfortable with the idea and (2) I'm on medication for a heart arrhythmia. While the docs assured me that the meds wouldn't be a problem, I can't imagine it wouldn't - everything you ingest while breast feeding has the possibility of affecting your child!

So between the two, we decided we'd bottle feed, and we're completely comfortable with that decision. Believe it or not, my husband has been getting more questions - and judgment - about the decision than I am.

I don't understand why people get so worked up over the bottle/breast feeding issue. When it's your child you can do what you feel is best, but don't impose your beliefs on me or judge me and my intentions toward my child because you wouldn't bottle-feed.

Formula fed children (of which I am one, too) aren't at some great disadvantage because they weren't breast fed, and we certainly aren't "handicapped" by the decision. We got the nutrition we needed, which is the whole point of feeding anyway, isn't it? It's not like we don't cuddle/snuggle/hold our children any less than breastfeeding moms, and we bonded just fine, believe me.

Grrrr...I really don't understand the attitude at all and I refuse to feel guilty for choosing not to breast feed. My son is healthy, happy, and thriving on a bottle and that's what is most important to me - his attitude, not that of a nipple nazi.

L.

Reading this thread just now has been a great morale booster for me as I'm a first time mom exclusively breastfeeding my 3 month old son. Its going well overall and he's doing great, but WOW, I had no idea how much work breastfeeding him was going to be. What a commitment (and I've run 3 marathons)! I had to give my son a bottle of breast milk for the first time last night...he was starving and would just not latch on, so strange. I was disappointed with the situation for only about 2 seconds after giving him the bottle and seeing him enjoy it. I'm sure I would feel the same if I had to give him formula. Good luck to all you mothers out there working so hard to feed your babies well...breast milk or formula!