What's a Consequence for Talking Too Much in School?

Well, you could start off talking about respect and how to show respect (being quiet, sitting still, paying attention). Keep the discussion open, ask him why he feels the need to disrupt the class. And if he says he is "bored" tell him that he needs to be respectful to the teacher and their rules when he is bored. Bored is not an excuse.

Unless you talk to the teacher every time he has class, you won't know if he's behaving or not. But, you can take away tv, computer or game time until you hear that his behavior has improved.

Good luck.

I would not punish for the 1st, maybe even the 2nd offense. Instead, use this time to promote/discuss what's expected, what the consequences are, etc. If it continues to be an issue, then follow thru on the punishment.

One more thought: we're ??2/3 thru the year?? Kids are winding down in their desire to learn, burnout is approaching for many kids. For teachers, sometimes they feel the same. In our school district, we have about one more month of actual "learning" time, then it's on to achievement testing, presentations, rallys, etc. Soooo, another ? to ask would be: is your son winding down....& is the teacher losing control of the class? Just a thought!

Other than talking to your son, I don't think you need to do anything else right now. But, you do need to visit with him about the fact that he is a leader and that is a good thing, but he needs to respect and follow the teacher's rules. That is one of the greatest attributes of a good leader and will help him in the long run. Also, the next note from the teacher may not be so positive.

Just talk to him about when/where it's appropriate to talk. I got marks on my report card EVERY year starting in Kindergarten about how I was a leader but talked TOO much. My parents would just remind me that it's okay to talk to friends at lunch, recess, when we are allowed to but when the teacher is talking or during a lesson I need to listen. I never got punished at home. When I moved out and went to college, I got a Bachelor's Degree in Speech Communication!!

You might have him write a little paper (200 words maybe) about why it's important to pay attention (to the teacher) in class and have him turn it in to the teacher as his way of apologizing for disrupting the class.

I guess it depends more specifically on the behavior. If he's leading others by using inappropriate language in class it's a little different than if he's just chatting too much. With our son, we tie his Wii time each day to school behavior. If we get a positive report, he earns a little Wii time; if not, then he loses it for the day. Depending on the situation you're facing, you may want to tie in a desired activity with behavior at school.

Also, you need to give it some time if it's a minor issue with talking too much. Have a good talk about your expectations and see how he handles it from there before taking corrective action. If it's a more severe situation, then determine what might matter to him, whether it's grounding him and him not being able to visit friends after school, losing TV time, whatever.

Good luck!

Like the others said have a chat with your son about respect and and talking. I would also give him an incentive. Let him know you are going to periodically check in with your music teacher and if she gives you a good report. We have a special day together, or you can have a movie night with me, or any incentive you think might motivate him. Also music class might not be as structured as his regular class, and that may be the cause of his talking.

I don't think this is a disciplining moment so much as a coaching moment. The teacher even framed his leadership skills as a positive, so rather than thinking of this in terms of punishment, perhaps your approach should be more focused on channeling his natural leadership tendancies.

I agree with encouraging more of the positive role model aspects. I would also let him know that you can and do communicate with his teacher(s). Maybe he won't think he is getting one over on you!My daughter is in 5th grade. Her consequence, is if she causes trouble (rarely) or doesn't get homework done--lose 15 minutes computer time for each item. She likes facebooking with friends so she has done lots better at the homework issue.

My approach might be different that most of the others. Rather than approaching him in a confrontational manner, I would look for situations where he demonstrates that same behavior in your presence. Then I would look for the character skills (virtues) that he is using and honor them, while asking for the virtues he is not using. I would not necessarily talk to him in terms of leadership as much as I would talk to him about how he is using the respect he has earned with his classmates. You would not want that going to his head or taking on a feeling of responsibility for the behavior of his friends.

I would try to help him understand how the respect our friends show us is a powerful thing to have, but that we are responsible for how we respond to that respect once we have it. I would impress upon him that respect is a funny thing. It can be hard won and easily lost if we do not value it and use it well. It is important to always respect people back, which includes respecting his teachers and letting them know he respects them with his behavior.

But, keep in mind that I would let the conversation begin over a behavior you witness and only talk about the classroom as an example of times when such behavior might create problems for the teacher.

If you are going to discuss 'consequences', I would begin by asking what he thinks a teacher should do when confronted with the disrespect of her students not listening to her. You might also ask what it feels like when you are trying to pay attention and one of his friends is the distraction.

Anyway, hope these thoughts are helpful.

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