What to Call "Step-Grandmother"

How about "Grandma B?"

It doesn't matter which grandchild this little one is, or that there are other grandparents. It doesn't matter that the little one isn't blood related. Who really cares when it comes to love?

I don't understand the obsession with differentiating between blood and step family. You're ALL FAMILY!

My Grandkids call their grandparents by their names Grandma Barb; Grandpa Jim, etc. If someone is offended they better get over it. It's the least confusing for the kids.

My parents are both divorced and remarried. We call everyone grandma (first name) or grandpa (first name) with the exception of my FIL who is "big gampa".

My kids call their step Grandma "Grandma-Ellen" (her first name). I call my stepmom by her first name. Just Grandma is fine too. If the other grandmas get their feelings hurt that easily they have problems.

Whatever her first grandchild calls her is what the 2nd grandchild should call her and all others after that. It's silly to have two different names for biological and step grandkids. Plus, that would really send a message to the step grandchild she isn't really part of your family. I had several step grandparents (sigh) and I always called them whatever they were already called by their other grandkids.

I haven't waded through the other responses yet, but here is my experience and take on this.

Our kids use grandma + her first name for their step-grandma. So, in your case, it would be grandma Barb.

I can't imagine why grandma Barb or Mama Barb, in keeping with your family tradition, would offend or hurt anyone.

In blended and re-married families, while diplomacy and kindness should always rule, it's not a democracy, either. All the various parties don't get a vote as to what to call people just so other people's feelings won't be hurt. Did they ever consider that your mom's feelings might be hurt by just calling her Barb?

That baby will grow to know and love your mother as a grandparent figure without prior knowledge of the marital history of the grandparents.
You can't really explain the complications of divorce and remarriage to a toddler who is learning to speak and what to call the various adults in her life.

Don't make this more complicated than it needs to be. Calling your mom, "Grandma Barb" in no way diminishes the importance of the bio grandmothers. Nothing can change the biological ties, so no one needs to sweat that. Instead, let it be what it should be: a relationship based on love, pure and simple.

Hope that helps!

J. F.

Grandma Barb. This little one is so lucky to have 3 doting grandmas. Families come in all different shapes and sizes, just like the people in them.

My girls call the step-grandma that they are close to "Pancake" and the one they are not close to by her first name. Honestly the kids need to stop worrying about bio-grandma's feeling and just let the baby choose

My kids call both of their grandmas "grandma." Sometimes we'll say Grandma Norma or Grandma Sanchez when we want to specify who we are talking about but otherwise they are both known as grandma. Always have been.
I have also heard people use meemaw, opa (German) and nana.
ETA: oh, and gamma, which I think is kind of cute, I may use that one myself one day!

My kids call my mom "BB" (Bee-Bee). Maybe this would work for you as well? Grandma and Nana and MaMa just didn't seem to fit her. Let us know what you decide!

My daughter calls my stepmom Grammy and then her name- so it's be Grammy Barb.

What about Bebe? or Grandma Bebe? Just be so happy that all these special people are here to support the new baby and the parents. The baby may end of picking out their own names when he/she is old enough to talk!

Grandma Barb
Nana
Grammy-Barb

My kids call their step-grandmother by her first name, because that's what she prefers. Maybe something with a grandmother prefix (Nana, Nonna, Grammy, Mimi) and her first name?

IMO, a child can have 3 or 4 grandmothers and it shouldn't matter a whit who is biological and who is not. She'll be as much a grandmother as the bio grandmothers and should have a title that reflects that. We have a blended family.

IMO, it makes sense to be sensitive about primary vs. step family only in the parent relationship, which in an intact family means that you only have one of each. In blended families, where you can have more than one person playing mom or dad, I can see the need to respect the unique parent-child bonds that exist in the original family and refrain from a step-parent being also called mom or dad if the bio parents and children aren't comfortable with that. However, every other family role is one of multiples - siblings, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Who cares if a child is calling 2 people grandma or 3? It's already a non-unique role and IMO, the more the merrier.

I think that it's nice that she's being sensitive to the biological grandparents, but don't overthink it. Grandma Barb is just fine and if the other two don't like it, they're insecure.

My step kids call my mom and dad, grammy and papa, just like my bio kids do. My kids call their step-grandma, grandmommy, just like my step kids do. But my husbands step mom is called by her name and she prefers it that way. I think it would be nice to come up with a name for her, if that is what she would like. She's part of the family now. Good luck!

My son's grandmother on my side is my stepmom. We just had him call her what the other grandkids did, Maemae.

Maybe Grandma/Granny Barb would be best. It's a title; when we had older ladies coming into our child development center through an intergenerational program, they were all called "Grandma/Granny So and So". The other grandmothers should be okay with this.

I too was going to suggest Mimi.

My GD calls her step-grandpa Stampy - so maybe Stamma. (combing, sort of - step and grandma)

My kids call my dad's wife Nana FirstName and we're the only one of my dad's kids who do that; all other grandkids on my dad's side call her FirstName. She passed away last week and I am *so* very glad we always insisted on the Nana part. Come to find out, it's one of the reasons she and I had a really good relationship -- she always felt that she mattered in my family & was included by us. My mom never seemed to sweat that we included Nana FirstName as a "real" grandmother, despite a rather acrimonious divorce between my parents.

My husband & I have been married over 20 years and yet my stepdaughter's 8yo child calls me by my first name instead of Granma (as my other grands do) or Grandma FirstName and, honestly, I always feel kind of slighted by that. I'm the one who keeps in touch, remembers birthdays, chooses gifts, etc -- not my husband, though he gets to be Grandpa. I'm the one who offers to babysit and who listens to whatever's going on in their life. In other words, I feel I'm a grandparent. It would feel really good if they acknowledged that. It's not a *huge* deal & I won't say anything to my husband or my stepdaughter (largely because my opinion was never sought and it would rock the boat much more than it would help) but I wish it were different.

It's considerate of your mom's stepdaughter to have regard for her own mother's feelings, but she needs to find a way of honoring both women.

What about Nana? That's what my stepmother asked to be called by my little girl.. and I call her mother Granny because everyone else does. Or more easily Grandma Barb..

Mee Mee (Mimi)

Mee Maw

G-Ma

Nu Nu

We call my husbands step dad grandpa Ray.

Mimi? If the other grandma's have indicated it won't hurt their feelings, I'd say, anything goes. I agree that the Barb is the wrong name...

I vote Grandma Barb.

What about Grandma B? Or Grandma Barb? In my family, we've always called our Grandmas "Grandma First Name" and my husband's family was always "Grandma Last Initial". (The same with Grandpas.) My daughter has a step-great Grandpa and a step-Grandpa. She calls them.....Grandpa. It doesn't matter that they aren't blood related, they're just Grandpa. Blood related Grandpas in our families don't care.

This decision is not really your mother's to make. It belongs to your stepsister and her husband. If they have decided on Barb, that is what she gets to be.

(My opinion - they could call her Grandma Barb, or similar. That seems natural to me.)

My kids call my stepmom "grandma" and my late stepfather was "grandpa". My husband's stepfather is also "grandpa". In our family though, everyone gets along and there is no drama about who has the right to love the children and be loved in return. The biological grandparents do not their knickers in a twist about stuff like that.

Whichever one of the following they are not already using - Granny, Grandma, Gammy, Nana, Oma, Gram, Grammy, Noni, Mamaw

Grandparents names just kind of evolve depending on what sticks and what each person wants to be called.

My SD calls my mother Grandma FirstName and my father Grandpa FirstName. On her mom's side they are also Grandma FirstName and Grandpa FirstName. On my husband's side they have pet names because that's what they asked for.

I would just start calling her what she wishes to be called and it will stick. I think Grandma Barb, or Nana Barb are fine. She IS a grandma of a sort, so the other grandparents should relax and get over it, especially if she loves her step-grandkid.

so the bio grandkid calls her Granny or something more traditional? because usually the first grandkid picks it for all the other grandkids to come down the line.

I can understand not wanting to step on toes, sometimes the baby will pick for themselves.

I grew up with 2 grandmothers and a great-grandmother, and I called them all Grandma, followed by their last name. For instance, Grandma Smith, Grandma Johnson, etc. Many children have more than 2 grandmothers.

Welcome to mamapedia!!

What does the step-daughter WANT? Does she want Barb or is she okay with something like Oma, Granny, Granny-Barb?

I'm not sure how this would hurt the other grandmother's feelings. They know she's part of their lives too. Don't worry about it. Ask the daughter what SHE wants and then go from there.

I'm a stepmother and the kids call me Nana. My mother is the grandmother of the stepchildren, so their kids (they are actually step-great-granchildren) call her Nana Dottie.

Other grandmothers in the family and stepfamily have names that the kids came up with (some when they were just learning to talk) like Mammy and Meena.

my MIL wanted granny-ship, then granny b, then grandmama. so far granny has taken.

my father had wanted grandpa, but DS took to calling him 'pee-pa" That suits him fine.

FIL and his 2nd wife haven't been assigned names as yet. Hubs paternal grandparents will likely go by granny P and the patriarch, and maternal grandmother can have oma.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

Whatever her first grandchild calls her is what this child should call her too. I highly doubt that would hurt the other grandmas feelings... Lucky kids!

Noni ... like NO-knee

My grandkids call me Grandma and my husband Grandpa. and my ex son in laws mom is Memaw and dad is Pepaw. There is yet another set of grandparents as my ex son in-laws parents are divorced that set is called nanna and papa. Any the great grand parents are called nonny and poppy.

So from our house you get
Grandma and grandpa
Memaw and Pepaw
nanna and poppa
Nonny and poppy

We always used the grandma + first name when I was grown up as there were great grand parents alive also. So grandma Mary, grandpa Bob etc

I always called my step-mom by her name even though she married my father before I was a year old. Likewise, I called my step-grandparents by their first names. However, both my children have ALWAYS called their step-grandparents "MomMom Pam" (my step-mom) or "PopPop Gary" (my FIL). That means my step-parents and my husband's parents (for my son these are step-grandparents but not for my daughter) were still called grandparents. But then again, they call the others similiarly.

What does your mom's other grandchild call her? Usually the first grandchild sets the stage so to speak. Honestly, the child will end up calling her whatever the child wants.

*wanted to add that my step-mom was young when she married my dad and therefore was a very young grandmother. My son called her "MomMom Pam" but when my nephew was born almost two years later, she opted to be called "Grammy" (which is odd because she was already "MomMom" first and it made he sound much older than she was...which is why she liked it). Only my kids call her MomMom so when the others say Grammy (or try to correct my kids and say "you mean Grammy") I remind them that she was MomMom before she was Grammy.

My point there is that the 1st grandchild normally sets the stage but not always. My other point is that maybe "Grammy" would be an option for your mom.

I like "Grandma Barb."

If she wants to be extra sensitive just ask the parents what they prefer and then stick to that, even if she isn't crazy about it.

Congrats to your mom!

What is the problem with this child have 3 grandma's. I personally see no problem with it. The more people that love a child the better right. If the other grandmothers are upset then they have the problem. My son has 3 grandmas and 3 grandpas and I feel he is one lucky kid. My mom and mother in law feel nothing about the fact that my son calls my step mom grandma and same with my dad and father in law they could care less that he calls my step dad grandpa. I personally feel they need to get over themselves if this is going to be something that bothers them. They all love him as grandparents should and I would never think of any reason they should not all be recognized as such. I don't understand the problem here.

Gamma Barb

Grandma Barb

Nana Barb

Mama Barb

My mom and the sks sat down and decided on Nana. What about something that means Grandmother in another language? You never know what the kid may come up with. What about Bran for Barb + Gran?

I'm a stepmother so I appreciate that the situation might be delicate. But there is a fine line in respecting the other grandparents (and this happens in intact families, too), and disrespecting someone who is willing to love and cherish the new baby. What about Grandma Last Name?

It is not unusual for a kid to have 4 sets of grands. So 3 shouldn't be a problem. If it is specifically "Grandma", I had a "grandma" and a "grandmom". My mom is "Nana". My MIL is "Grandma". My sks other grandmother is some name they made up.

I fully expect to stay First Name with my sks themselves, but I would be sad to be First Name with any stepgrands.

A lady that works for me is named Barb and her grands and step-grands call her Nana B.

There are so many names for Grandparents!
My kids have Grandma and Grandpa for my parents and Nanny and Grandpop for my husband's parents.
My maternal grandparents were Grandma and Grandpa. My paternal grandparents were Grandmommy and Granddaddy.
My husband had grandparents that went by something along the lines of Teddybear Grandpa. I'd have to ask for the details.
There are a good deal options than just using their first name.

What does she (Barb) want to be known as? My kids have both our Moms and a Step- Grand Mother as well and when my first was born we all talked about who would be known as what. Thankfully and Luckily there were no discrepancies but it was nice to include all of them. Realistically who are we to say or decide what they will be called any more than changing their first name. Unless the 'paternal' grandparents title that is already being used is what Barb wants then I don't see an issue with her choosing her own name for the baby

My mom's mom married 3 times. Her first husband is my mom's dad and my grandfater. My kids call him Grandpa, same as me.

Her second husband she married when I was young, and he was grandpa to me as well - I loved him like he was blood relation to me until the day he died in 1997, and I still miss him insanely.

Her third husband was not kind (in my view) and I disliked him immensly. I called him by his name. So did my mom and dad, and all of my siblings. The kids called him Grandpa Jim...out of respect. Not that she passed (just this past June) he has cut off all contact with the family...go figure.

You could let the kids come up with a name too. My MIL is Nana, because that's what my nephews called her, so my kids were taught the same. My mom is "Mo" and my dad is "Op." When I was pregnant with my first baby at 19, my parents didn't want the typical Grandma and Grandpa names....so we went with Meemaw and PPops. However, my mom's name was shortened to Nemo by the boy I used to babysit, and my daughter could only get out Mo, it stuck. Same with my dad, she could only get out Op, and that stuck.

What would she like to be called? Maybe she needs to decide.

I think it's ridiculous that whatever they call her would hurt the other grandmother's feelings. Aren't they all grown women?? I'd call her Grandma Barb. Or, if there isn't a "nana" somewhere in the family you could call her that. The little kids across the street from me made up a name to call their grandma. I'm not sure why (there must be a story there!) but they call her Bing! I think it's cute :)

I had three grandmothers, and we always called my step grandma by her name (Luella). But she married into the family when I was in 3rd grade, my sister was in 5th and my brother would have been in preschool. Also she had no other grand kids so there was no previous name being used.

She is now the only surviving great grandma to my kids and is known as Gramma Lu. She has been with our family almost 40 years and we have always accepted her, even when my grandfather died after they had been married only three years.

My husband's parents are divorced and his mom remarried when he was 13. That step grandpa has always been known as Grandpa to my two nieces (who are now late teens) and as Paw Paw to my kids (11 and under). But none of the kids have ever met their real grandpa on that side of the family (a very nice man but some weird family dynamics going on).

What does the first grandchild call her? There's really no reason why she can't be called grandma just because the child has two grandmas. No one (that I've ever met) CALLS a step-parent "step mom" or "step dad" as their name... you use those descriptions to explain who they are, but you CALL them something else, so "step grandma" jus sounds ridiculous.

The new baby should call her whatever the first baby calls her... or that name with Barb on the end if there's some overlap with another grandma.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I asked my husband's stepmother what she wanted our kids to call her. She came up with "Aunt [First Name]." That wouldn't have been my choice for an honorific. I think it's a little confusing, because she isn't technically an aunt. But that's what we call her because that's what she wanted.

I have another friend whose stepmom is called "Mamacita" by all the grandchildren.

Would your stepdad's ex's feelings really be hurt if your mom were called anything other than her first name? Seems kind of silly.

I call my step-grandmother Helen because that is her name and what my mother calls her. I was never told to call her anything else. She is 92. My boys call her Grandma Helen because that is what she named herself. Technically she is their step-great-grandmother. I am fine with it. I am grateful to her for taking care of my grandfather so that my mom doesn't have the day to day burden of it.

My kids step grandma named herself 'Mimi'. So my kids have a 'Grandma' 'Nana' and 'Mimi'. It works great :) One more gift sending, candy giving, cuddle machine has been no issue!

Meme is grandma in French and it's close to mama. I like the sound and it's a different way to say the same. If trench does not work for you just find grandma in another language that you like, in Italy they are called Nona