What to Do About Getting 4Yo to Try New Foods

My 11 yo daughter doesn't eat any vegetables either, only fruit.

I didn't eat any vegetables until my 30's and I can still only eat raw vegetables. I have a strong gag reflex and still gag if I attemped to eat something that is unappealing to me.

You are not alone. Good luck!

My younger daughter (now 9) started off wanting to be a picky eater. The easiest way for mealtime not to be a battle is for you not to make it a battle. What I mean is this. Serve your son whatever everyone else is eating. He can eat it, or he can stare at it. You aren't going to react either way. When dinner is over, he can either have eaten his food, or not. It's his choice. If he's hungry, he will eat. Kids won't starve themselves.

My DD, when she was 4, would sit in front of her plate and sort of poke her fork at whatever was there. "What IS this?" she would ask, as if I were attempting to poison her. "It's pork roast," I'd tell her. "I don't think I'm going to like this," she would announce. I'd just say, "Well, that's too bad. I guess that just means more for the rest of us. Hope you like broccoli a LOT, because that's the only other thing on the table." And the rest of us would go about our dinner (older DD asking for seconds, etc). Sometimes she would decide to choke it down, and sometimes she wouldn't. We didn't comment either way. She's in charge of what she wants to put in her body for fuel, albeit I'm in charge of what makes it to the table. We do not offer snacks or any kind of dessert for anyone who fails to eat dinner, though. They don't have to clean their plates, but they have to eat a reasonable amount.

Anyhow, this very picky child recently not only tried but loved Duck Confit. I kid you not. Just stay the course, don't get excited about it, and eventually your child will branch out.

With our son, on his plate I'd give him something he liked.
Then if he wanted a taste of something from my plate, I'd give him a taste and if he liked it I kept feeding him from my plate (then I got seconds which were for me).
For some reason (and I'll never know why) - food from my plate was fine but if I dished him a serving on his plate - he didn't want it.
Eventually after eating MY food, it would be ok to put some of mine on his plate and then suddenly he got over it and would eat anything and it didn't have to come from my plate at all.

Try not to worry!
By the time he's a teen - he'll be eating everything in sight and barely stop to chew!
Watching a teen guy eat is SCARY!

Here is what has worked well for my picky kids:

I take them to buffet restaurants, give them a plate and let them choose what they are going to eat. I tell them I want them to try at least one new thing each time, and often they will try more than one new thing.

I let them eat over at their friends houses. It is amazing how they will come home and tell me how much they like lasagna, even though they wouldn't even touch it at home.

I send them to summer camp. All that fresh air and peer pressure adds up to big appetites willing to try lots of new things.

I don't let the kids tell me they don't like something if they don't at least take a bite. If they take a bite and still don't like it I drop it.

The older they get the less picky they get. I still have a nine year old who doesn't like fruits and veggies, but now he will eat apples, carrots, broccoli and cauliflower.

The standing rule in our home is and always has been:

You try whatever you are served. If you don't like it, you are free to make yourself a sandwich.

My kids are very non-picky eaters because of this. I honestly can't keep fruits and vegetables stocked in my house because they LOVE them - but I know that is on the rare side. They also have tried (and loved) things like frogs, sharks, alligator (thank you cruise ship) and every kind of seafood my husband has ever had. I think they do this because of our rule from the time they were babies. They don't have to like it, but they have to try it. It's rude in my eyes to not try what they are served. We don't offer them liver and onions, so they can eat at least one bite. MOST of the time they end up loving it.

Maybe try that rule in your house, but start slowly since they are older? Don't go too outside of the box.

Also, if I know my kids don't like something but it's not horrible, they will eat their age in bites. At least they used to. At 7, 9, and 11, they know to eat enough to make me happy. They have also always thrived on knowing WHY a certain thing is good for them. Protein keeps them full longer (meats, peaunt butter, cheese, etc), carbs give them energy (pasta, potatoes, etc)....

We always take a huge bag of fresh vegetables on any picnic we do. It always has carrots, peppers (normally orange and yellow), cucumbers, broccoli, and celery. We pack little things of ranch and peanut butter to go with them. One time I didn't have any peppers so I just omitted them. My then 5 year old asked where the vitamin A was!! Ha!! He knows we buy the bright colored ones for their increased vitamin A amounts and wanted his fill :). Make it fun for your kids...teach them about the food, how it makes them strong and smart, what specifically it does for them...I bet things turn around in time.

I deconstruct a lot of our meals. Last night for instance the adults had chicken tortilla soup. For both my kids I pulled out the chicken and veggies. I put the individual ingredients on their plates, covered the chicken in shredded cheese and added a bit of applesauce as a familiar, well liked side. I added a half tortilla to each plate and they ate well. I know there is no way they would have eaten the soup as soup but at the end of the meal they ate the same thing we did. Deconstruction has been very helpful and it keeps me from making portions which are too big and hence creating unrealistic expectations on my end. Also it seems to present meals in a more appealing manner.

There are meals I know my kids won't eat no matter what I do. On those nights I make them a cold plate - cheese cubes, fruit chunks, crackers, applesauce, etc. They will often try the new foods but always have their cold plates with favorite ingredients as a fall back.

We do a lot of breakfast at dinner time too. My kids love eggs and with some creativity I can vary eggs, adding new foods they can try without pressure. In general I try to pair known liked items with new items. I ask them to take one bite before declaring they don't like something. Also I involve them in the cooking process. Most nights they are in the kitchen with me, watching dinner unfold which seems to help. Whatever I do I refuse to send my kids to bed hungry. I personally don’t believe in that approach because I don’t want my kids to have a warped relationship with food. I believe maturity and a welcoming attitude about food makes the biggest difference. It’s a marathon, not a foot race. Good luck and no stressing.

So you're basically going to give him your childhood.

That's all I can think of.

Kids have just as much right as we do to like or not like foods. All you will be teaching him to do is completely rebel as soon as he's out on his own.

What I think you need to do is look at it this way. Does he like spaghetti? It is full of tomatoes. Veggie, done. Pasta, done. Does he like pizza? Grains and tomatoes and cheese.

There's a cook book called something about hidden food. Where you can add things of the same color group to foods to add veggies. You can add too much and ruin it though.

For instance, mac and cheese? Add in some finely grated yellow squash, not very much and if he ever sees it he'll never eat it again.

I think it's really hard to let go and not make meal time a battle. I stopped and don't do it anymore at all. My granddaughter pukes her whole meal up every time I insisted she tasted something new. She puked.

What a horrible person I am to push a child so hard to conform to MY choices that she had to puke instead of having a happy meal time with family creating happy memories.

I realized that people who basically bully their children into eating food that makes them gag whether it's good for them or not are not very good parents in my opinion.

And if you really ate the food for breakfast you had at dinner I feel horrible for you. I cannot at all imagine anything more horrible for you. Don't do this to your child. Put yourself in his place. The less you focus on making him eat the more he's going to relax and feel comfortable about trying new things.

There isn't anything wrong with eating the same foods all the time. The way the "health officials" keep changing their minds about what's good or bad for us by the time he starts eating more foods you want him to eat they aren't going to be good for him anymore.

There is middle ground between your mom's way and doing nothing. What about telling him he has to take 3 bites of the new food before he can have anything else? I do this with my 5 year old. He must take 3 bites of his veggie before I will put the pork chops on his plate. He sometimes tries to argue with me, but he knows that 3 bites isn't very much, and he does want his pork chops. So he usually gives in without too much arguing.

I wouldn't spend too much effort trying to convince him that veggies are healthy. Most 4 year olds can't comprehend that. If you can find a modern day Popeye who gets super strong when he eats he veggies like Popeye did when he at spinach (please share it with the rest of us) you might have a case. But for now, I think you'll have better luck with a 3 bite requirement of all veggies and/or new foods.

I have one child who will eat anything...almost anything. And who WANTS to try new, weird foods. And I have another child who is extremely picky and stubborn...and you can actually see fear on his face when a new food is brought out.. He has been this way since he was a baby. He gagged at his first bite of cake on his 1st birthday actually. It turns out it was the cream cheese frosting. To this day it makes him gag. I decided to take a kinder, gentler approach with my picky eater. We have talked a lot to him about eating healthy foods and how his taste buds will change as he grows up. I just always make sure I have one thing at dinner that he likes. He is served a very very small portion of the things he does not like, and he HAS to take a bite. I don't make a big deal of it at the dinner table. He is 10 now and he has found new foods that he likes over the years. He eats a handful of veggies now and actually ate asparagus for the first time last week and asked for seconds! I thought I was going to faint! ;) I have one food hiding story for you....he loves mashed potatoes so for years I would also boil cauliflower and put a little in mashing it all together with butter and milk. I would up the amount of cauliflower over time and guess what - it worked! Soon after he started liking cauliflower! Also, he loves homemade chicken noodle soup...so when I make the stock I do add a lot of veggies hoping that the nutrients/vitamins all get into the stock for the soup. My son is 10 now.

With my kids, I did the age rule--four bites because you are four. It was logic they could understand, and it kept arguing and food boycotting to a minimum. So, four peas, four kernals of corn, four bits of broccoli, or whatever vegetable I was serving they only had to eat four bites. Of course, you can make them tiny bits. The key is to give them more than four (or whatever number/age they are at) on the plate. If my kids balked, I told them then they were welcome to eat all of it instead of just the four bites. Suddenly, four teeny bites looked much more appealing. :)

what about homemade pizza and tacos that he can make and add the veggies himself? my son loves meatballs, so I make a nice tomato sauce with all kinds of veggies (bell peppers, onions, mushrooms) in it, you can even puree them. He eats the meatballs with just sauce. He doesn't like pasta. My son loves salad. We eat taco salad, shrimp/avo salad, spinach salad with berries and nuts and a sweet raspberry dressing. I used to make cream of broccoli soup and puree it so smooth he had no idea he was eating broccoli.
Good Luck!

You know how you can't swim upstream or a leopard can't change their spots?
You absolutely cannot change the tastebuds on a kid's tonue.
To this day I hate lima beans which my mom served.
Here's what I will say:
sending a child to bed w/o food is destructive & abusive.
It is in the control of the parent (an adult) to guide a child, to be loving, to
be helpful, to teach etc.
We can all find ways to teach/feed our children.
I hated most veggies until about the age of 25 except salad & corn.
Today, I am healthy AND a healthy eater.

Keep trying different things: mini carrots (they're sweeter) w/Ranch.
I hide shredded carrots in meatloaf.
I've hidden corn in different pastas w/sauce or little bit ofspinach.
Try Jerry Seinfeld's wife's book.
She hides all kinds of things IN food. Peach puree in muffins etc.
I bought jars of baby food (peach/pears) to put in things I've baked.
He loves hamburgers (used to thinly slice a tomato to sneak in there
w/the ketchup).
Since their tastebuds change (I think it's every 6 mos at this age) what they once liked they no longer like.

Keep trying diff things, give choices, don't send to bed hungry.
If you lighten it up a little, he will eat better.
I've also checked a book out of the lib that showed how to make a catipillar out of grapes, a butterfly out of a banana w/choc chip eyes & pretzels for wings etc.
So he tries new things, we have some fun.
Don't push, just try to gently lead & I promise you'll succeed.

Again, don't withold food or serve it at the next meal. They need food not just life lessons. Don't create food issues. Just work w/in the parameters.
Try pizza w/some veggies AND pepperoni. Remember he's young. His tastes WILL change & he will eventually eat better.

Up until the past few months my own son(7)would not eat what we all would eat. He is autistic and has sensory issues so he chose up until that point to forgo all other foods than his preferred 7. He now eats just about anything I put in front of him. The way that came to be is that during the summer I kept offering him a plate/bowl of dinner. *Side note: this was done for years as well, but in his case it took until then for him to be able to handle most foods.* He does have his own food preferences such as salad w/o dressing, only short cut pasta and for him it is easier to eat a hamburger with a fork and bun on the side. I'm no longer making special meals. He loves various foods I never thought he would such as Brussels sprouts and mushrooms.

Always offer what everyone else has but at the same time don't force food. Give him a new food with familiar foods. It takes several times of trying something to develop a true taste for it so try to be patient and know that in time it may come.

Best wishes.

so, a couple things I would do. Remove the possibility of any junk food and only provide healthy options. That way you know he is hungry when he sits down to eat. I am not talking about starving your child, just not making goldfish, crackers, exetera an option. Then put out veggies, a variety, before serving the meal. My 4 year old is much more interested in eating her veggies when there aren't other, more tasty options available. Usually, Ill put out whatever the veggie is or some cut up carrots as I am prepping dinner. mid morning or afternoon snacks are fruits or veggies she enjoys. We really limit packaged foods and I think that makes a huge difference on taste buds. If your kid is getting salty, overly sweet or greasy foods, it is impacting his taste buds.