What to Do About My Friend

Hi K. - I think the best way to deal with this is to not make a big deal out of it. I dont think anything needs to be said at this point. This doesnt mean that you are being dishonest, you are just allowing the friendships to develop naturally.

The two of you can have a great friendship even without your kids being best friends. Just the circumstances of your daughters activities with other friends will naturally limit their friendship. Encourage your daughter that when this other girl comes to play that she should always be friendly and reassure her that it doesnt mean that they are expected to be best friends. Rudeness is never an option.

It's an important lesson for our kids to learn that we can have lots of different kinds of friends and different levels of friendships. On a practical note, it might help your daughter to have some ideas prepared of things they could do when they are together. This really helps when kids have differing interests from one another.

I am very curious what other moms will say about this. We have been having the same problem, and I have been unsure how to handle it as my friends daughter calls almost everyday. My daughter just doesn't want to play with her daughter. I have another friend whose daughter also doesn't like to play with the same girl.

I have just been distancing ourselves, we are truly busy sometimes when she calls or are not home but she continues to call. I debated a long time over whether or not to tell my friend as I did not want to hurt her feelings. I have since told my friend 3 times when she calls that my daughter didn't want to play with her and I was sorry. As I thought since we were really good friends it would be better to tell my friend the truth, but instead it has strained our friendship and I feel awful about it. Her daughter on the other hand still continues to call almost everyday.

I wish you luck on how to handle the situation!

K.

Depending on the age of the girls I wouldn't say a word. I mean kids either have things in common or don't. If when your friend comes over and she brings her daughter explain to your daughter she is company and to treat her politely. If they play fine, if not oh well. It is up to them to figure it out. If your friend says something then explaining that your daughter and her daughter are just different in personality, not one being right or one being wrong and they don't have much in common. That should hold no weight on your friendship personally. Reassure her how much you treasure your friendship with her.

I remember growing up my mom had friends that when they brought their kids we were to be polite, include them in what we were doing but we didn't have to be "buddies" either.

I think with all company children should understand just being kind and including others regardless of the level of friendship. Outside the visits then you cannot control whom they have as friends.

I would leave it be, if your friend expresses concerns or seems to push the friendship with the girls then politely just mention that they are just different personalities. It isn't personal persay but kids need to figure it out.
Foster your friendship with her and you needn't force the friendship with the girls but keeping being polite as key will help.
Good luck.

Hi K.,
I am not sure how old your child is, but I would let the kids work it out, and just explain to your child that when shes in the house to be nice and respectful and play with her.
The other thing you may do is sit down with your child and find out what it is that she doesn't accept that child as a friend. you could than explain that there are mutual friends and acquaintances and try to have her open her mind up to how people may be different and they may find a common ground. I hope this helps and gl.