J.:
Hello!
WOW!!!! You have a lot to consider. I would consider spending the money on a second car - a reliable one but a cheap one. How do you pick the kids up from school if they are sick? How do you run your errands during the day while the kids are in school?
1. STOP the bullying at school. PERIOD. Call the principal and teachers and get it stopped NOW!!! You are your child's advocate - car or no car - STOP IT NOW!!! Communicate with them daily until it stops. If it doesn't stop, contact the school superintendent. If that doesn't stop it - go to your County Superintendent. Stealing is WRONG! Bullying is WRONG!!! Bad behavior on a bus is wrong - this not only jeopardizes HIS safety - but that of everyone else on the bus.
2. The boys MUST sit apart from each other on the bus. No question, no comment. PERIOD - APART.
3. Staying home from school for a suspension is PUNISHMENT - no TV, NO computer, NO hand-held games. NOTHING. If this happens, plan a day of home schooling. He doesn't like it? Too bad! It's not a vacation. He did something wrong and there are consequences to his actions. If he has fun - why not repeat the behavior so he can stay home again?
It's not up to the driver to tell you what's going on, while it's nice - the fact is you need to step up. Talk to the kids SEPARATELY. If you have the authority to punish the boy you are watching - consequences for their actions are a must - this is NOT a "feel good" thing - this is about morals, integrity and behavior.
The bullying at school is probably causing him to act-out on the bus - is either acceptable behavior?! NO FRICKING WAY!!!!!
Rewards for good behavior - start out small and work your way up. Rewarding good behavior is always a good way to go - you don't say how old he is either so I'm not sure what rewards would be appropriate.
You state your son is "no angel" - I know my boys aren't perfect either. However, this year during the first week of school they both were acting like devils - I nipped that behavior in the bud - I didn't just laugh it off and say "boys will be boys" or "he's no angel" - I stepped up and made their life a tad difficult. I made consequences for their actions. They didn't like it. They missed their "time" I told them how to get it back. I set boundaries and limits. Consequences for actions - good consequences for good actions - bad consequences for bad (inappropriate, unacceptable) actions.
You are the adult. You are your son's advocate. This behavior could be directly related to the the stealing and bullying at school. I don't know. But I do know that you need to TALK WITH your son and this other boy and get to the bottom of NOW not later.