What to Do with 'Tweens After School...

I have to say, I'm kind of with Cynthia on this one. They are approching the age when they need a vigilant parent available to keep tabs on them all the time. (Little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems, as my mom once told me.) If you're married and still need to work for financial reasons, would it be possible to find a job that allows you to work at night? I know it might not be your first choice, but if you need to work this would allow you the ability to work but still be home in the afternoons to keep tabs on your kids. If that i snot a possibility, then I would make friends with a SAHM and ask her for help, and offer to pay her. Maybe your daughter's friends have a SAHM that would willing to help. Good luck!

M.

Dear B.,
My brother and I were 15 months apart. My mom didn't want us home for long hours after school, or date night, so she did have a babysitter come over. One who drove, and was able to help us with homework, etc. She was more on our level, so we didn't rebel, and she felt more like an older sister helping with homework and teenage drama. I don't think your kids should have any problem getting along with a high school student, or college student. Especially, since you have daughters, you could hire a girl babysitter. And she'd be on their drama level with teenage things. Hope this works for you and best of luck
Kim K.

I would check and see if there is a local community center that you can enroll your kids in afterschool activities... 'tweens are such a hard age... the community center will have a great varity of art classes, different sports, ect. They'll make friends their own age. These classes are affordable and all year round.
As far as datenight on the wkends... yup you're gonna have to hire someone to sit around and watch MTV. My husband and I consider it part of how much it cost to go out for the night. Instead of going out Friday and Saturday we pick one night to go out that way we can afford $20+ bucks for a sitter and paying for a cab doesn't dent the wallet so bad when it's only one night a wk rather than two... you'll have more fun when you bundle your fun into one night instead of two.
Good luck with your new transition... hope this works for ya.

You figure this out, you let me know! I would suggest to keep them in the after school program, but it sounds like a nanny is the best option. As far as date night goes, my friend completely trusts her teenage sitter. Good luck!

I always seem to give the politically incorrect answers...but here goes. Are you married? Do you have to work? Just reading the comment "We haven't figured out what to do with them..." is like hearing finger nails on a chalk board. What you do with your kids is take care of them. You're their mother. They need you. If on the other hand you are a single mother and don't have a CHOICE about working, I would try to enlist a SAHM from your girls' school.

Hi B.,
Good Question, I ran into the same problem last year when I moved in with my b-frnd and transferred my son to a new school, He was almost 11 at the time and to old for Day Care with all the little babies and little kids, but to young for taking care of him self, not to mention he's not used to the new place, new school, new neighbors and he was having a lot of fear and anxiety.
I feel for you, What Do People Do? I wanted to know, So I went around the neighborhood and asked, quickly I found out that most mothers are SHAM's or there kids had older, high school sib's, so I made a flyer (in hopes a SHAM or high school student who wanted some extra cash & would help me), I left work early and stood out side my sons new school handing out the flyer that announced "We are your new Neighbors, I'm looking for a place my son can come hang out before and after school (walking distance, preferably close to our home)Willing to pay!
I got 1 phone call to help but he was too far away, another lady told me my son could hang out before and after school for a while until she went back to work, that worked because she had a son in 1st grade and so my son would walk her son to and from school so she didn’t have to. In exchange, I watched her son for her at night when she needed it, It wasn’t "babysitting:, it was "coming over to play"
Eventually, my son (after the littler one started getting on my sons nerves) decided he was comfortable being home alone.
Yea!
So... what about going out at night. What has just happened for us, (because none of this was planned, I don’t know what I'm doing other than hoping everything will work out some how) Is I met some neighbors and we talked about nights out w/o kids, we agreed that it would be nice to have our kids have sleep over’s, sometimes at our house, sometimes at there house, I spend a lot of time home, after unpacking and getting settled, I feel like I can be a mom again, but I do feel like I get plenty of free time when my son goes to friends or neighbors house, He’s at that age where he just calls up and says “hey mom, can I hang out at ----- house for a while”, sometimes I ask him to ask the parents if he can stay for a couple hrs while I run an errand or go to dinner. I do agree he is too young to stay home at night, I either find someone or cancel plans, but its really not that big a deal, probably because I do get so much help now from neighbors and friends who are going through the same thing. If I don’t go out one night, I know there’ll be another eventually. Oh… and I have my son in scouts and this year they started going camping on one-night’ers, that’s always fun. But Yes! If I had to, I’d pay a 19 year old to watch TV while I’m out, I think it’s just that awkward age where they’re not quite old enough to be left alone, mainly incase of an emergency. I’d die if something happened and my son had to be the decision maker of a serious situation. He shouldn’t have to go through that just yet. (But Soon!!)