When Did Your Daughter Mature?

To tell you the truth...I played dress up and with Barbies with my cousins until I was about 14. It was fun and it's a great way to build close relationships with people. The cousins that I played with are a couple years younger than me and we are now super close! I say...let her play away! She's only young once...let her live it up!

My dad tried for years for me to be a 'girly girl' and my mother always wanted a 'princess girl'... It just drove a wedge in my relationship with them. Now that I'm an adult, my dad and I get along great. I'm a lot like him and maybe he realizes having a 'girly girl' isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

I say... Let her be innocent as long as possible. I would love that for my kids.

I wouldn't push her to mature according to your plans. Let her mature on her own and be her own person. Remember you and your daughter are two totally different people. Enjoy and love your daughter for who she is. It sounds like she is a happy, well adjusted 5th grader.

Let her be. She is enjoying being herself without any pressure. One day she will drop the dolls and look for other things. Peer pressure is the worst especially when you are starting to change from little girl to teen. You don't look this way, you don't wear that, your hair is too long or too short or too curly or whatever. Let her be the odd one out and be the individual. Hopefully she won't become part of the herd that does everything a few kids say.

She will have a good time in school. Stop worrying about her thinking of how your school years were. Don't compare the two that was light years ago. She maybe one that does not want or need a ton of friends. Sometimes friends get in the way of doing the things you want to do because they don't see or understand what she is trying to do. For instance I can see a project and tell my daughter what it is and she can't see it until I complete and tell me that yes you were right I can now see what you said.

Just remember we are all different and that's what makes the world go round. This planet would be boring if we were all from the same mold.

The other S.

PS My daughter started maturing around the 7th grade with NKTOB and several rock concerts to see them while in Europe.

Let your daughter be herself. Every kid wants to make their Mom proud. If you push her to be something she's not, she could develop self esteem issues because she's not living up to your expectations. Just let her know you love her no matter what, and trust that she will learn from your good example.

Let her play, you want your girls to be close. It's great that she wants to spend time with her little sister. Hope for you that her loving to be with her sister never changes. She will mature when it is her time. Don't rush into it!

Let her be herself. She will mature up when it's her time. Not EVERY girl is mature. I don't have daughters, but I was a kid for a long time. Didnt even like boys till 9th grade. I just liked to have fun and wasnt worried about bras and make up or any of that stuff. She'll be fine. She'll attract friends that are on her level and when she feels it's time to move up a notch she will. It's nice to keep the "innocence"... life gets hectic once we start stressing about keeping up with the Joneses.

Let her be, childhood is so short. Let her enjoy it and enjoy it yourself. Do not look desperately for things where your daughter can "fit in". She is happy that way. She will mature at her pace and when is time for her.
I don't see the need that she should do the same things as other girls do just to "fit in", it is kind of silly. Sorry. Let her to develop her own personality and character and encourage her to be just like HER in a kind and nice way.
Have a nice day!

Your daughter is at the age where some of the girls will start "growing up" faster than others. It is hard at times because some of the girls change interests before others. From our experience, it seems like my daughter's friends with older siblings seem to be the ones maturing faster and those with younger siblings seem to be maturing later. I have found that when any of the girls are around the younger sisters though, they seem to enjoy playing with the younger things as well. I personally think our society in general pushes our girls to grow up too fast. If it is not bothering her & she doesn't seem to be having problems socially while at school, I wouldn't push her. I would let her go at her own pace. My daughter really didn't stop playing with the Barbies, etc. until she was done with elementary school. Some of her friends were at her same pace & some were faster. When the "faster" girls came over, they just did something else other than Barbies. It really did not cause a problem at all. As far as the spending the night, I just don't think that happens as often as it did when we were girls. I think that is due to many factors - parents more skeptical, kids in more activities, etc. so I wouldn't worry about that either. Enjoy your daughter's childhood!

Hi T.,
I love that fact that she loves to spend time w/ her lil sis. This is a bond that is forming that will be with the 2 of them for ever. One day she will wake up in the morning and she will a changed little girl to a young teen. When my girls turned 12 I thought "O BOY" here we go what happened to my sweet babies? "Buckle up honey we are going for a ride." But you know what it was because they had that bond going into the teen years is what saved US from pulling OUT OUR HAIR and from them from KILLING EACH OTHER. They are 2 1/2 yrs a part but the hormones to see the age.

So let her wake one morning and become a teen and still LOVE HER LIL SIS
CindyC

I wouldn't worry about it. In fact, it may pay off in the end. My daughter was like this and I was happy because I didn't want a mini-teenager already. I wanted her to be a kid as long as she could. Because she was comfortable with herself and didn't feel the need to fit in, it paid off in high school. As a freshman, she went in to high school with all her jr hi friends. Due to peer pressure, many started drinking, smoking, doing drugs, partying, etc. But she didn't feel the need to do these things. Her sophomore year was VERY difficult, as she realized she didn't want these friends and struggled to find new ones that shared her values. But, she did it! Got thru HS without partying or losing her virginity. She is now a freshman in college at a small Christian school and doing great. She still stands out as an individual - but now they respect her for it and she has lots of friends. Your daughter may stand out and not fit in now, but it is such a short period of time, you are shaping her for the rest of her life! Just let her be and give her LOTS of love and praise and support.

She has so much time left in her life to mature and do all the things you hope she does. Think of how much a blessing it is that she still likes to play with her sister. I would just let her blossom at her own rate. Enjoy the time you have with her before she gets into that independent pre-teen - teen mode.

Kids mature at different rates. If it's not bothering her, I wouldn't worry about it.

I struggled with this. I was a tomboy and around 5th grade, the boy/girl dynamic changed, and that didn't work for me because I still wanted to be a tomboy. I didn't transition well. I blamed some of it on my parents, saying they wouldn't let me wear makeup (which was true) or shave my legs til I was 13. I just wasn't ready. Even though it's awkward, don't push her. She needs to do it in her own time. But do ask her how she feels about it. Let her do the talking. She might need some advice but doesn't know how to ask for it. Good luck!

i need to figure out how you did this, not give you advice on how to stop it.

my daughter is 7 and has already given up much of what i consider age appropriate, she wants to play the computer, listen to music and talk on the phone. Her room remains immaculate and not played in. My youngest is following this same pattern.

They only get to be young once, just let her be, she sounds fantastic.

Oh my, do not push her to "mature" so she can fit in. Do not force her to be someone other than she is already, especially since she is happy where she is. As soon as she starts to feel like you don't think she is the way you want her to be, there will be a lot of inner turmoil.

Why does she need to have a good time at school and have lots of friends to fall back on? My daughter found out really quickly that the "in" girls were not the ones she wanted to hang out with. Better for her to find the girls who like her for who she is.

My daughter was a tomboy and played soccer with the boys at recess. Sure, some of the girls teased her for not wanting to play with them. But over time, she found the ones who appreciated her for who she was. She only kept one as a friend by the time she got to high school and she is still friends now that they are out of college. There just weren't many that were her type.

Just be sure to teach her how to deal with the teasing that is sure to come. I hated those 5th - 8th grade years with the girls in her classes. When someone teases her, tell her to agree with them. For example, if they say, "Your clothes look like they came from Goodwill," have her say, "Yeah, thanks!" or "Yeah, it's so comfortable!" with a smile on her face as if it is a compliment. Or if they say, "Your legs are so skinny," she should say, "I know! Can you believe these are what my parents gave me!" If she learns to confuse them, with her head held high and shoulders back, they will leave her alone or start to like her for her confidence.

My DD is also in 5th grade. I think she is a fun, kind, talented, interesting girl. She's pretty and very socially adept. But like your daughter, she doesn't seem to need friends the way I did when I was growing up. Knowing the other 4-5th grade girls in my neighborhood, I agree with you, I think things have changed. My view is, we focus kids on their interests early, so by 5th grade they are off to soccer or swim team, music lessons, etc., after school. Then it's dinner, homework, family time and bed. It's not that they are overscheduled, but my kids don't have a lot of weekday time for friends, and, honestly, they just don't seem to miss it. I'm the one who suggests Friday afternoon playdates, or coordinating with another mom to 'try to get the girls together.' Sometimes she interested, sometimes not. Her closest sibling is almost five years younger (and a boy) but he's her favorite playmate. I think your daughters are fine, and lucky to have each other.

my daughter is in the 6th grade. and is the oldest in her class, she is already 12. she is just starting to think boys are cute, and stuff like that. I am VERY glad about this. she is maturing very slow compared to some of her classmates. Dont push her, she has a lifetime to be an adult. I played with barbies till I was was 13. Girls nowadays start having sex in jrhigh. Do you want that. NOOOOOOOOOO> she is fine and good for her.

My Daughter is 11 and in 6th grade. She has matured alot in the last couple of years but she still seems alot younger than her peers in some ways. And as Kathy B. said she doesn't seem to need friends the same way I remember. She is perfectly content being at home and playing with her younger brothers.She will go and spend the night or have girls over but only if they ask her. Everybody likes her and she seems to do well socially...she just doesn't seem to care. Alot of the girls her age are getting into the "going out with...boyfriend stage" she seems very uninterested (which I'm thrilled about lol). She does have alot of friends at school and she is in alot of activities but she just doesn't seem very close to anyone of her friends. It did bother me at first but after talking to her I realized that she just doesn't see the need to act a certain way just to fit in, and that's a good thing. She knows who she is and is confident in it. She's not ready to let go of being a little girl and thats ok.....it will come soon enough.

Good for her to not care what others think!

my daughter seemed mature around her friends but still liked to play with her bratz dolls at home for a long time. She is 15 and just recently got rid of half her toys. She would use the needing those toys for babysitting excuse even though she watches 2 girls, I told her to keep a few for them as they don't need the whole collection to play for a few hours but it took her a long time to let her stuff go. She still has her Bratz collection but gave away all the barbie stuff and half her littlest pet shop toys.
Your daughter will grow up quicker than you want her to. She probably has many memories with her toys and isn't ready to let that part of her life go.

Kids love to be around my daughter and want her to babysit them because she will get down on the floor and play with them instead of most teenagers that just sit and watch tv or text/talk on the phone while they are babysitting and let the kids entertain themselves.

She will grow out of this in her time. I was happy my kids didn't mature with the other kids as fast, the more mature ones are the ones that get bored easily and end up trying things they shouldn't by 7th grade.

my daughter wasn't boy crazy in 5th grade like the rest of the girls and she doesn't like to spend the night at other people houses much because all they want to do is talk about boys. She will have them spend the night here more than going to their house because we have more things to do like board games, video games, tons of movies to watch so they usually talk and watch a movie.

We don't want her dating until she is 16 and I know she has had a few boyfriends at school but nothing serious so because of her not having boyfriends all the time like they do she doesn't have much in common to talk about.

I have a 14 yo who was grown up when she was 2. She has never acted like a little kid, always enjoys the company of adults over kids her own age. On the other hand my 10 yo has always enjoyed being a little girl and told me she doesn't want to grow up...until the past few months. She turned 10 in February and has just recently started to enjoy texting and talking to other girls after school and asked about shaving her legs. I think all kids develope at their own pace and who knows- your daughter could turn over a new leaf over night in the next few months. This is the age they just start figuring out they will change so I say let her do it at her own pace. If she was in 8th or 9th grade I might be a little concerned but in 5th I bet there are other girls who are just starting to mature or haven't yet. Believe me, in a few years you'll be glad she stayed a little girl.