When do newborn get a sleep pattern at night?

Updated on June 04, 2008
M.H. asks from Boise, ID
12 answers

I am trying to figure out if I am having a normal time or not. My little guy was born March 28th and is now a bit over 6 weeks. When do they get a pattern at night or should he already have one? I know it varies but am trying to see what others are going through. I am at a loss and dont know whats a normal amont of sleep for myself now. I hear 8 hours... are they kidding??? Not since before I was preggers did I get that much. I am scared for my sanity and went to my doc. He put me on sleepig pills and my hubby is out here with the baby for about 5 hours in the evening so I can rest some, and then he goes to bed and I come out to the front room, but that cant be the answer forever, you know? The blues are a bit better but I can see it wearing on us and I am very worried about how much longer I can keep up like this. Please help me ladies. How many hours did you sleep with a 6 week old beautiful little one (or did you?)and when did this get to be more? We have tried the crib, the bassinet and the swing... nothing works except him sleeping on me or right up against me (or it being daytime! hahaha). Thank you!

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Summary

Different child develop a sleep pattern at a different pace, some sleep through the night at 2 months, while some took 2 years. Some moms suggested the cry it out method, while some moms suggested to keep him awake during the day. Read the article for more advices.

So What Happened?

So, we came to stay with the inlaws for a few weeks and, believe it or not, he is now sleeping 3-5 hours depending on the night. We still have nights like last night, midnight till 2:30 play time with big smiles... but they are fewer and fewer and easier to get through with more sleep. I cannot let him cry, it makes me nuts. So we have been having Gramma help out at night while he gets bigger and older, much to her delight. She is so cute, "can I take him to my room for the night in the cosleeper so you can get some rest?" Um, OKAY! Yea for our mamas. I am much better now too. The blues are lifting thanks to some help from Dr. Archibald. God love him! Thank you for the advice ladies, you all are wonderful :o)

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

It is hard when you are a new mom and don't know what is "normal". I learned that nothing is normal the first few
months :)
Hang in there. Try sleeping when he sleeps (whenever that is) and consider co-sleeping. It is a great way for sleep deprived mommas to get more sleep at night, especially with babies that need constant touch. Like everyone says though, it will get better. Maybe soon but maybe not for a while but it will! Just try to have the mantra: "This too shall pass. He is only little for such a short time".

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A.A.

answers from Missoula on

Get the Baby Wise books- they are at every major book store!!!! This helped me, and Aiden Slept through the night at 8 weeks. At 8 weeks I got 5 solif hours of sleep, and then nursed, and then he went back to sleep for another 2 or 3. You will get use to running on 6-8 hours of sleep. You have to stick to your guns, and let him cry. If you are nursing, wake to nurse and put him back in his crib. He needs to learn to self sooth. You may feel like you are being mean, but if he is changed, warm, and fed on a regular basis then he is only crying to use you as a security blanket. I was in the same stage you are in, and Baby Wise saved my sanity. I also did this as a single mother, so you can do it!!! Coming from my Developmental Psychology background- he can still have a secure attachment to you, and may be a better baby as a whole, by learning to self sooth. Right now, all you are doing is negatively reinforcing him to cry. Every time you get him- he will stop crying right?? But he is actually learning to cry, so you will come and get him. He will do that forever! I have a friend who has a 2 year old son, and he still wakes every hour, because she let him sleep with her, and nurse whenever he wanted. He still sleeps with her and her husband, and they are on the verge of divorce because of this! They have no time together-
Baby Wise is all about the schedule that a baby needs. You need it too! Just remember that it takes 2 weeks of consistancy to break a habbit, but you can do it!!! It may not even take that long. It took Aiden 5 nights, of letting him cry it out.
I now get 8 hours of sleep since I am not breast feeding anymore. If you can, still take a nap when he naps for a while longer...
Also- ZOLOFT!!!! Don't be ashamed if you need it, because a happy mom is a healthy mom, and has a happy baby...
good luck!

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

I think six weeks is to early to expect any real sleep, I have always gone with the flow, none of mine slept through the night until about 2 year old, I say that because even though there were nights where they slept good there were also nights where they didn't, so much can throw off their schedules and norms. Even once they hit 2 they didn't always sleep straight through, they needed to go potty, they have a nightmare etc,. our country puts to much emphasis on our children fitting into our needs, and tends to forget that being a parent isn't about us. I know how hard it is to be tired and wanting nothing more then to get some sleep, so I co-slept it makes a huge difference, and contrary to popular belief they do eventually go to sleep on their own and in their own beds. My 21 month old does sleep through the night, but he isn't the norm for my kids, he also talks which is something none of my other kids did this young either. So as you keep hearing every kids is different, I don't think there is such a thing as a "norm". Hope you find some answers and hopefully some more sleep!

A.G.

answers from Pocatello on

Hang in there, I know it feels like this will last forever but soon he will sleep better at nights. To be honest the first few months were a blur but i do remember that the first time my daughter sleep for 7 hours straight was when she was 2 months exactly. Before that she would wake up about every 3 hours to nurse. I had a sleep positioner in her crib which helped her stay asleep when we would put her in there. And sometimes I would be so tiered that i would bring her to bed to nurse and we would both fall back asleep. I was told that it's ok to bring them to bed with you up until about 4 months. After that they will recognize a pattern and always want to sleep with you. But by the time she was that age she was sleeping better and I never brought her to my bed so she never developed that habit.

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C.B.

answers from Denver on

Try getting sleep when he does. He is only 6 weeks and each baby is different. I was happy with 5 hours at a time with some of my kids. He might have his days and nights swicthed.

As far as your sanity, it takes time for the family to adjust to a new person. He will sleep through the night someday. You need to mold him to your schedule it will take some work but keep him awake as much as possible during the day. Does he fuss if not being held? If not let him sit in his seat and watch you around the house. Take him for a walk on a beautiful day. The fresh air does wonders for sleep. Just relax and enjoy him.
Good Luck,
C. B

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R.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I felt a lot like you did @ 6 weeks. I never realized just how awful sleep deprivation can be. It does get better! We co-sleep and it has helped immensely! I don't know if you're breastfeeding but with co-sleeping and breastfeeding, I actually get 8 hours of sleep a night. I wake up here and there to put the breast in her mouth, but I've learned how to sleep while feeding her and I feel soooooo much better! We are a happy home and family with a well-rested baby, mama and daddy!

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K.P.

answers from Boise on

Just an echo, but I don't think you can't hear it enough. Every baby is different, but the only thing I could be certain of when I had both of mine was, I was not going to be sleeping very much. So, I learned to just go with it. Meaning, even though I wasn't sleeping much at night, I always tried to wake up and make myself act happy even if I wasn't. At the time, my son was 2 1/2 and my little girl was and infant, I always made sure we all three took a nap together every day. This kept my boy napping until he was 4 and my little one and I got the rest we needed. As far as losing it, I did that. Once I freaked and scared my husband and son when my daughter was a baby. I called my doc immediately and got prescribed an anti-depressant that I only took for a month. It is nothing to be ashamed of, but if you are feeling like you are going to lose your sanity, you need to do something about it before you blow. We women have a lot going on when we have babies, and it's hard enough for us to understand how to make it better, let alone our husbands. I can promise this though, it will get better. My babies are now 6 and 3 1/2, and have been sleeping through the night for a really long time now, and it's bliss. Hang in there!

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S.A.

answers from Boise on

I had the same problem! I was only getting 2 hour a sleep a day. But a friend gave me her book called "becoming baby wise" by Gary Ezzo. It was a life saver. You can get it at Wal-mart.

It worked for me and by the end of the 9th week he was sleeping through the night. He is now 3 months old and still sleeps through the night. I am on a 3-2 1/2 hour feeding schedule. Three hours is from one feeding to the next. Here is a normal day for me.

So in my day,I wake him up at 6am feed him, play with him for a bit, and put him down to sleep. I wake him up at 9am feed him, let him sit in his swing until 10:30, and then put him down for a nap. Wake him at 12 feed him, let him play in his bouncer, put him down for a nap at 1:30. wake him at 3 , same thing wake time play, and then nap at 4:30. Wake him at 6, same thing wake play. But at this point I keep him awake until 9 feed him, put him down for the night, then at 11 I feed him one last time and put him to bed, and he sleeps until 6.

He is not perfect all the time, but having one bad night every 2 weeks, I can handle that.

This is all explained in the book! And your pattern mioght be different, and have a different flow. I HIGHLY recommend it.

You can get some sleep! If you train your child how to also.

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M.W.

answers from Boise on

Please forget about the "Babywise" books and do some research re: cosleeping. It has worked for us with all four of ours! Especially if you are a nursing mother, cosleeping is the way for you and your baby to get some good sleep. An excellent resource is Dr. William Sears. Not only is he a doctor, and his wife a nurse, but they have eight kids. Google him or find his books on Amazon, the library or any bookstore. Your baby is still very little, and what you are going through is very normal. Hang in there because it will get better.

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J.W.

answers from Pueblo on

My thoughts are with you! My first was (is) not a sleeper - slept only in the swing in the day and with me at night. It made a nice bonding time - don't let people tell you sleeping with you is not good. If that is the only way either of you are getting sleep, so be it! Elizabeth is now 2 and still does not sleep through the night. I know this is not what you want to hear, but just know that your child is not "abnormal," maybe just a high needs baby. Sleep when you can. Join some mom groups (go to story time at the library or find a local MOPS) for support. Take care of yourself, and love your baby!

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K.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My oldest didn't start sleeping through the night until he was almost 5-months old. My second started at 6-weeks, but at 5-months started waking up again and didn't sleep through the night again until 10-months. With my son, it seemed somewhere between 6 and 8-weeks he really started to fall into a pattern of waking up only to eat for 10-15 minutes and then right back to sleep.

It is really hard to deal with the lack of sleep, but after speaking to many, many moms, it seems that sometime in the second month things just magically tend to fall into place. The baby is sleeping better (not necessarily through the night), your body has adjusted to the new sleep schedule. You are just more in-tune with your baby.

For now, sleep when he sleeps (dishes, laundry, etc can wait). If possible, see if your husband could take a feeding or two at night so you can get at least 4-6 hrs of uninterupted sleep (it will do wonders for you!). And I admit that there were a few nights that I was so desparate for sleep, I brought my kids to bed with me. It wasn't the most restful sleep, but better than none at all.

If you're not already doing it, keep things really low key at night - no playing, talking, bright lights, etc. Keep it really just to the business of diaper changes and feedings. During the day, play with him a lot, keep the blinds/curtains open. Keep noise levels normal. Teach him that night is for quiet and sleep, day is for fun and being awake.

Hang in there. It will get easier!

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

We did "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo with both our boys and loved it. It is flexible and helps the baby adjust to a schedule. The other one that is going to be a much quicker fix is the video "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. It was a life saver for us with our second (cholic) and we plan to use it again as well with #3. My cousin got the book and was unimpressed, but we loved the video. Plus, the video is shorter and you get a visual demonstration of everything. Hope you get some sleep soon! Congratulations!

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