When Do You Stop the Family Birthday Gatherings?

family birthday celebrations are a lifetime of joy.

my family celebrates every single birthday....& we enjoy them. Sometimes, we combine birthdays. Sometimes, it's just a few of us. Sometimes, it's a crowd. Depends on the event!

Please think of it as creating a lifetime of memories & lasting relationships. Friends come & go, family is family!

Split it up. Have a family dinner. & have a friends party. :)

For us it's when the kids started school and just wanted friends at their parties. We still have the granparents over for cake and ice cream usually on the actual birthday.

It changed when it moved from the big birthday parties to the sleepovers - that was about 2nd grade for us.

We never combined kid parties with family parties. When they were young we would invite cousins to the kid parties but once they were in school it was just classmates.

Family parties were always at the house and were more about food and celebration. We still have those for our kids and my oldest is 23. Can't wait for those kids to get married so I don't have to deal with it! Just kidding, I love having people over!

We do the 2 party thing. One for friends and a regular birthday dinner for family - spaghetti or pizza.

We started doing the 2 party thing for 2 reasons.
1. the numbers got out of control. Our immediate, local family was 25 at the time. Its down to about 18 since some people moved, but still...
2. Several relatives felt a certain neighbor/friend's mom was trying to upstage the party - she was- and asked to be invited when she wasn't.
They didn't want their time with my kids tainted by her.... :)

Some family gatherings are great....other's not so much. If money is an issue and you actually enjoy the family's company, start doing pot lucks, BBQ's, picnics where everyone pitches in. Home made cakes, food are the best! Hand made cards and gifts are really special.

Our family has always been big on birthdays from the youngest to the olders and especially the significant ones!

Blessings.......

We have an enourmous family ourselves.

Family tradition is TWO days.

1) Family potluck
2) Friend party

My son will be 7 this summer and I'm so tired of the big birthday parties. The mom is always the one who stresses about them. I say that my son and I are eloping for his next birthday. I will take him to do something fun like Worlds of Fun or something and we can have cake with Grandma and Grandpa. As for his other half, if my ex wants to have a party with his family then God speed to him.

I'm to the point I'd rather invest the money in us doing something than the big party where I end up having to pay for all the guests.

its different for everyone my parents stopped the family stuff after my 4th birthday then it was just the grandparents and my aunt ..most of my cousins stopped havign big family parties around the same age but my one cousin had big family birthdays up until like 12 .. it depends on you.. i feel like once the kids arent little babies and can actually have their own input and invite their own friends the big family thing isnt necessary

My kids friends always come first. Not the entire family. If I'm having it outside my house, I invite 5 to 8 of HIS friends and a select few family members and go from there.

If your family wants to have a "party" for your wee ones, THEY can throw them a party at one of their houses or something, but if it's an event (even chuck e cheese, pizza place, mini golf, etc) it's about the kids who come NOT the adults.

I vote ask a few adults to the science center otherwise kids, then go to someone's house later for the big wing ding.

It gets expensive trying to accommodate everyone and their grandmother.

And I have to ask, if there's 22 people in your immediate family, why can't some of them pitch in to help with expenses if it's so important to them to be there? It takes a village after all...

Sending good thoughts your way.

Cake and dinner for the family at your home and party with the kids.

this kind of place is loads of fun but is the kind of place that we held the school friends party not the family party we did those at a pizza place. we did a few separate parties for friends other than that it was only family. the kids had special party's on 1st grad b/day usually one about 2nd or 3rd and one in highschool other than that only family stuff

We never had a family birthday party for our daughter. She was the 12th grandchild on my side and there are 40-50 grandchildren on her father's side. By the time she was born, the families were pretty "over" little kids' birthday parties. We threw parties with a few of our friends who also had children and then switched to school friends by age 5. We also keep them small. This year (age 9) she is having three friends go with her to an indoor water park.

My daughter is turning 9 this month. She is having a friend party with her classmates and then we will have a cake and sing to her next time we are with my parents for dinner. We will do the same thing again with my in-laws and my husband and I will take her out to dinner on her actual birthday. My daughter is very excited because in total there will be 4 birthday celebrations for her but only 1 party that I have to prepare for:)

My daughter made the statement this year that this will be her sons' last birthday party. He will be turning 10yo. We will still get together as a family and go out to eat with our family...and of course he will still get presents. But as far as going to Chuckie Cheeses, Lazer Tag, Bounce House, Ice Skating, Bowling Alley...no more. He gets to chose where he wants to go for his last big blast. As of this year we all decided that the expense was just too much to buy everyone in our family a birthday present, so we aren't doing that anymore...just get together and eat out and birthday cards!

We are crossing this bridge too. My older one is 6 next weekend and my little one just turned 3. We have always had small family parties--usually the local grandparents and maybe 1-2 friends depending on the year. I don't have space for all 20 of the extended family in the area either. Some of the cousins did the big family party when the kids were little and then moved on to parties for the kid's friends when they got to school age (you could invite cousins close in age only for that). There is also the advice that the birthday child gets to invite 1 playmate per year of age. I am leaning toward inviting a couple of friends to go to a local science or children's museum for the day or something like that. Honestly, my son has his heart set on an expensive birthday present and we can't do that and an expensive party as well.

We do school party (something fun) and then family is just dinner and cake.

I'm not sure if your extended family has a lot of little kids - if they do, then I'd invite them to the science center and ask that one adult stay... but if your family has kids that are older I would only be inviting Grandma and Grandpa and would TOTALLY understand if they just wanted to do the family party. Are you sure all those people from you family really WANT to spend a weekend day at the science center??!!

We do family parties (aforementioned cake and dinner) still and my nephews are 24 & 25.

We never had family parties. My husband's side is huge, and everyone has their own families, in laws etc. My kids have close to 30 cousins and now some of their cousins are married and having kids so you can see how it just wouldn't work, we'd be at someone's birthday party every weekend! Between weddings, showers, major holidays and anniversaries we already get together a LOT!
For me, my kids' birthdays have always been about THEM. Celebrating the day with their favorite meals, having their favorite cake, and inviting their best friends. And of course giving them a special gift :)

Just do a kids only party after school or on the weekend. Problem solved.

My kids are 15 and 13 and we are still having the family parties. I was wondering the same thing as you!!!!!!

I think my kids were turning 4 and 8 last time we had family over to celebrate the birthdays. Their birthdays are six days apart, at the end of June, so we always had a barbecue. This was separate from the friend parties, which started at ages 3 and 4.

all i can do is sympethize with you. We have 21 "imediate" famimly members in town!!! This year we did cake and ice cream only with family on my daughters bday and seperate party with friends. Its tough. There is no easy answer on this one.

Really? Is the entire family interested in going to the science center? If so I suggest that you pay for the children and ask the adults to contribute by paying for their admission.

And......are your boys really interested in friends? At 3 my grandchildren didn't care if they had friends at their party. At 5 they did have 2-3 friends attend. For the most part, bd parties for those years were primarily family.

I would keep it as simple as possible. If your relatives include young children then you'll want at least one parent to attend. Perhaps just have the children and their parent(s) and a couple of friends for the 5 yo.

I've taken kids to a science center and a children's museum and keeping track of everyone gets to be complicated. The 3 and 5 yo are going to need an adult with them at all times to keep them on track to keep them from getting lost. So,,,,the 5 yo friends will need the same thing. How many children can you keep engaged and in one spot for a period of time? Just things to consider that could influence your decision about who to invite.

As to when to stop family gatherings, I'm 69 and we still have family gatherings for all the adults who live in the same area. My daughter had and now my grandchildren mostly have friend's parties with adult family getting together at another time once they're 8 or so. But when they were 3 and 5 family were still involved in the same party.

We stopped having family get togethers around the time our children went to preschool. I think this is a reasonable time because our daughters wanted to invite their friends, and it is their party. So it was about 3 years old. My family was not upset at all about not being invited or us not having an additional event. Prior to that time we always had family over for lunch and cake to celebrate.

Now we would also always get together for Labor Day around my daughters birthday and would have a cake and celebrate a few birthdays at that time.

I hope this is helpful and I think everyone understands that the economy touches everyone's budget.

Good luck.

I would recommend 2 parties, even though you say you can't afford both.

The family one can be super simple....just cake and ice cream. Or cupcakes. Or pie and coffee. Start telling your family you need to turn it into a potluck due to you both working and your budget is tight. Sing and dance. Put out checkers and chess games.

I much prefer this type of intimate gathering then going to a Science Center with a bunch of other's little kids.

I grew up in a very large family, and honestly, getting 22 people together for toddler birthdays, is almost inconvenient for the working age members.

We have a big family that gets together all the time and we just celebrated a birthday of a family member this weekend who was turning 40! ... meaning these get togethers never stop for us. I wouldn't want to comprise the type of celebration where my children wanted to have friends to help them celebrate and that's what I would do and pay for 1st. You might suggest that extended family who wants to all see each other and exchange gifts or just hugs might plan a very informal get together at a local restaurant and everyone understand it's a dutch treat. We have done that also and have just as much fun AND someone else gets to cook/clean! We've been to Superior on Hwy. 280 and love the patio area for family gatherings.

I never had huge family get togethers for a birthday party...just the imediate family: Grandma,Papa,me,her dad and her best friend her cousin. She seems to love this.

I didn't read your prior responses and know you got a lot but I will tell you what we do. We will ALWAYS have a family bday party. That party is when "family" gets together for a meal, cake, and presents at our house. Thats it! And the kids get ANOTHER party with their friends, usually a different weekend. My kids are 15, 12 and 9 and this works good for us. Depending on what they want to do and the cost, they get to invite 1-3 friends to go with them. So far they have been bowling, movies, Bounce U and a large indoor playyard. So we separate the family party from the friend party. And even when my kids are adults, we will get together to celebrate everyones bday. =)

I have to say, I'm a little bit jealous.
Some of my most treasured memories of my childhood are going roller skating with my cousins, or gathering to Grandma's house where she made fried chicken, we kids sat on the patio and snapped peas for her, we played kickball, "cupball" (baseball rules but we hit the balled up paper cup with our hand so we didn't break windows or cars), hide and seek, capture the flag, tag, freeze tag, Chinese freeze tag, etc while waiting around for dinner, then eating watermelon or peaches (outside so we didn't get the juice everywhere) or the best chocolate pie in the WORLD, made by Grandma and tasting just like love. I don't think anyone had money---we had more than all the cousins, but money was not a factor in going to Grandma's house and having family time. Other treasured memories: the annual gathering to my great aunt's house, where everyone brought food to contribute to a potluck. We kids hung around outside talking, played some games (laser tag!) but mostly just catching up and getting reaquainted. It wasn't "special" in stuff to do, but it was family. Kept us feeling grounded. When did it stop? When people died or moved away. There's a big void now at certain times of the year when I really miss the love, security, laughter, and sense of family. My boys see their 2 cousins once a year. That's so not enough. They see my mother a couple times a year, and haven't seen my mil in real life in years, though we skype. I try very diligently to build memories for my kids, but if you have the ability to do even a casual potluck then it should be done as long as possible, in my opinion. It won't last forever.