When Should I Start Trying Again for Baby #2? - Lima,OH

I got pregnant with my second when my first was 6mos old. They are 15mos and 1 day apart. I love and have always loved the age gap between them. It has always been great, maybe not always easy all the time, but I definately love it. They are now 4 and 5 and they play so well together, they always have someone to interact with, and they are into relatively the same things even though ones a boy and the other is a girl.

Too soon....It is very difficult when you have two kids that are crying nonstop and can't tell you what is wrong. I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old. My two year is able to talk, but he still throws me for a loop some days. It is also difficult with the diapering. It seems they both need new diapers or baths or fed at the same time. Don't get me wrong, my husband is great and helps out all he can, but we both are always on duty. My husband normally handles the two year old and I normally am in charge of the baby. We will feel like we are rich when we don't have both of them in diapers too.

I have always found that 2 - 2 1/2 years is perfect between children. I know several people who have had more than that between their kids and it was hard on them and hard on the kids. There is over 5 years between me and my brother and it was difficult. We are closer now, but we weren't when growing up. I know several people who have 2 - 2 1/2 years between their kids and they get along (for the most part) just fine. My daughter has about 2 1/2 years between her kids and they were always very close.

2 - 3 years is the best interval. Remember you need time for you, your husband and the first child. Don't create stress in your life.

Victoria: I have a 15 mo old and a 3 mo old it is not a picnic try tandem crying sometimes my hubby and i just look at eachother and just shake our heads. Granted the new one our son is finally starting to sleep in his bassinet but the first 2 mos were absolutley brutal. If you are a SAHM it would not be as bad but I work 40 hrs a week outside the home so the expense is also quite high for childcare. Really think about it before embarking on pregnancy again. I would at least wait till your first one can walk being pregnant and carrying a baby in a car seat is really difficult too good luck but really give yourself some time. My bro and I are 18 mos apart and are very close as adults.

First and foremost, in my opinion, is that you take it to the Lord in prayer. He is the author of life and can give you peace one way or another.

I have two children that are about 21 months apart. It is definitely hard work. My husband was a great help while I was pregnant and still is now that we have the two. In my experience, it is harder having two because of a very curious toddler and a needy baby (as he should be). My daughter is now 2 and my son is 4 months. I want more children, but think it might be best for my body to wait a bit before having another. It took 9 months to cary a baby, and it's going to take at least that long (if you're breastfeeding) to get back some idea of normality in your body.

Wait until you come down from the baby high :) and really weigh your schooling options before considering another baby. Unless, of course, it's the Lord's will that you are fruitful this soon.

God bless,
A.

Victoria,

I understand your worries. My second pregnancy wasn't planned, but I sure am happy that it happened like it did. I found out that I was pregnant with number 2 when my daughter was about 12 weeks old. At first I was shocked and scared, but in the end I just let it take its course. My babies are now 11 months apart. They are great with each other. A lot of work, but well worth it!

I was in school already when I found out that I was preggo with #1 and continued getting my general education out of the way. I am now working towards my nursing degree. It's tough at times but I know I will get through it! I'll be glad I stuck with it when I'm done!

Wishing you all the best,
Trisha

It all depends on how close you want your children. My first two are 2yrs 4mos apart and for me that was a great age difference. My third, is almost 3yrs younger than my second and 5yrs younger than my first, I really enjoy having the 5 yr age difference, my oldest is amazing on how much he can help!!!

I think it is a personal preference for everyone I really wanted my kids to be close in age, but I didn't want to have two in diapers at the same time(it is very expensive to have to buy diapers for 2!!!!)

Hope this helps!!!

A.

My first 2 are 5 yrs apart. There are only 2 yrs between the 2nd and 3rd. It was definately a different experience. The oldest was extremely helpful when I had my 2nd. He was so proud to be an older brother, and even helped pick out her name. Much different experience the next time. I would wake up in the middle of the night to find my daughter throwing things at my newborn. We are not talking stuffed animals! Eggs, pics off the wall, you name it! She did eventually outgrow it, but be prepared to have your hands full. The good news is, they are close as can be now. (Ages 7&5) It couldn't be more fun!

Check with your OB about having a nother baby now (only cuz your body needs a certain amount of time to heal internally too) But other than that it is between you and your hubby. As far as the schooling issue, keep in mind that is you start now for example you will be in the catalog year of 2008-2009 and say you stop during 2009 when you have your next baby and dont go back for a year, you will lose your already established credits. There is a one year grace period for time off and then you have to start in a new catalog year. ALthough your credits will still count you may have to take more. I hope this makes sense, I would start back to school when you know you can commit to at least one class a semester to keep your catalog year.

Victoria, I am going to speak from the bottom of my experienced heart and please, just take it as food for thought, if you have your heart set on that baby, don't make me stop.

I had 3 kids every 2 years, and now, grown up as they are, will be all 3 in college at the same time....that's a big chunk to take...what were we thinking!

Please consider spacing out your children a bit more, 3-4 years, you will feel the relief when they are teenagers and there is still time to save for the second one to go to college.

Believe, I wish someone would have talked to me this way when I just started having children.

Enjoy your child...she is a gift from God!

A.

Each pregancy is not the same. I had a wonderful, dreamy first pregancy....never felt healthier and happy. My second pregancy was not so great and I swore I wouldn't do it again. Lots of stuff I didn't have in the first pregnancy. Thank God for memory loss, so that I can talk about possibly having a third but my husband remembers it and quickly reminds me of stuff I forgot.
Remember that each child is different and with that comes a different experience with how you carry them and how you deliver them, etc.
Also, you may want to give your body a chance to get back to "normal". It took my hormones almost a year to get back (breastfeeding as a lot to do with this, I think)
Good luck. Enjoy every minute because it goes so fast. My newborn is now in his 5th month and it seems like I just brought him home.

I think you guys need to enjoy your first baby before you start trying for a second. The first year is filled with changes and you guys should enjoy every minute of it before you decide to have another, you don't get the first time experiences back. It is great to be able to give your child that attention they need, especially when they are young...1 or 2 and if you have another baby to take care of it will take away from that. Just my opinion, but try not to rush things...enjoy what you have. I truley want to be pregnant again, but my son is 21 months and I want to be able to enjoy the summer with him (I get extremely sick and tired when I get pregnant), so we are waiting to try until this winter.

I was 39 when I had my first - he's my miracle baby. When he was 12 weeks I thought I was ready to go for the next one, after all, I was 40 now and time is running out. My OB told me to wait for 9 - 12 months for recovery. I had a C-section but he stated that it was important for my body to recover completely. I'm breastfeeding and have not had a period since I got pregnant in 2006. Tomorrow my son will be 10 months old. We started trying to get pregnant again at 8 months but so far nothing has happened. I'm not disappointed.

I was diagnosed with PPD about 4 months out and didn't respond to treatment. My MD recently found that I never had PPD but postpartum hypothyroidism. This probably shows why I've not gotten pregnant as well.

At this point, if it doesn't happen until 12 - 18 months, I wouldn't be disappointed. My baby is still my baby and I'm not sure if I would want to share this precious time wth another so soon.

Be blessed!
Jacq

Mother Nature knows best--if a woman is completely breastfeeding she won't get pregnant for at least the first year so the babies are at least 21 months apart. Know that this system breaks down when we have too many calories as so many modern women have do--so use birth control! That is why relying on nursing does not alway work--our ancestors did not have as much to eat as we do! But it is still good to follow the natural pattern. It takes at least a year for your body to truly heal--from the Chinese medicine perspective it depletes your vital energy to have pregnancys too close together. Also it is not fair to the baby--she needs your undivided attention for at least 18 months or so. My 2 younger girls are 3 1/2 years apart and are now grown up and are best friends. I have 3 sisters and I am closest to the one who is 7years younger and the two who are only a year apart have always had the most contentious relatiosnhip so being close in age is not always so good for siblings either! And what would you do if you had a difficult pregnancy--a good friends daughter just had to be on bed rest for several months--good thing she did not have another baby to care for!Bottom line--enjoy the baby you have now! General classes are okay with babies but I would wait until a few years for nursing school--it is intense!

My girls are 17 months apart (got pregnant when the older one was 8 months) and it was hard. They get along great, but being pregnant and still getting up with an infant was one difficult thing. I remember heating up my daughter's bottle and if I just got a whiff of the formula smell, it sent me running to the bathroom. I was sick over the smell of formula! LOL.

Also, just having a newborn and still having a child who really is still a baby is not fair to the older one, at least that's how i felt (mine weren't planned to be so close in age, but God has his surprises).
Ask yourself these questions: Do I want to be changing diapers constantly and up in the night constantly?
That's truly how it is with 2 so close in age. My husband and I would go to bed saying "I wonder who we'll be up with first." It would take me a minute to figure out who was crying, because really it could've been either one at the ages they were. :)
It's a lot to think about, but I say wait a little while. 2 years apart is still close and the children will still be buddies. Anything closer is too much.
Good Luck in whatever you decide!

My first two daughters are 18 months apart and I really love that. They are 4 and 3 now and are best friends. It is really busy at first and exhausting, so consider that along with your decision to continue school. I finished my bachelor's degree with my first daughter in tow. I had her in between semesters of my last year, so it worked out really well. It will definitely be harder, though, when your daughter is older and more active. It is a very personal decision, however, for my family waiting until our first daughter was 9 months old was just right.

Wow! That would be really soon!I'd wait a little longer. You barely know what you're in for yet. I understand the pressure of trying to get everything squeezed into your timeline, but you should spend a little more time enjoying your baby before you have another. My second is scheduled to be born next week and I'm wondering if 21 months is too close together! Think about it a while longer, and see how you feel once your first is mobile!

me and my husband tried for baby number 2 after out first was over a year old. our kids are 18 months apart and it works for us, give your body time to heal from having a baby.

I'm not saying that pregnancy is a 'medical condition', but your body has gone through a lot preparing to bring a healthy little one into the world. A common rule of thumb is to wait 18 months to let your body totally heal before putting that amount of stress on it again. Of course we all know of someone who got pregnant the night of their 'six week appointment' after the doctor gave them the go ahead to resume intercourse, and they have healthy babies. It would probably be best to consult with your obgyn and see what he/she has to say.

About the general education/nursing classes...it's good that you're thinking big picture. Wherever you go, determine how long your credits will be 'valid'. In other words, if you take your general education classes now but wait seven years (or whatever the time window is where you go), you might find that you have to retake them. Just check online at the college you are planning to attend, and you should find this information in the current catalog.

I think that every family is different. I started late in life so I had babies every 2 years almost to the day. I had to pump them out before I got too old and all the risks involved and I wanted 5... i got 4. however, i was also in a fog for YEARS and it is finally clearing. Hormones outof wack, lack f sleep, diapers for 10 years........ I would not suggest that if you have a choice. Each child adds less personal time to your life. Right now, you have a goal in mind that will actually be good for you, your family and your children present and future. Slow down, get your education and then have more .. i posted earlier for you to wait until the last year of nursing school when you are in your clinicals, that would be a great time to get pregnant.... you will be essentually working in the hospitals doing your rotations and the time is demanding but, if you time it right, ie 7/8months into your rounds you will be able to graduate, give birth to your next baby while looking for your job and things will be more on yoru terms and not kids. I say wait.

btw my first pregnancy was terrific, my sbusequent ones got worse each kid........ every pregnancy is different and with more people to take care of each time there is less time to relax when you need to because they need you...

my doctor recommended waiting at least one year.

i recommend it too.

your body needs to level out your hormones and recover from pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding before you start it all over again. your next baby will be healthier and happier if your body has a chance to rest between pregnancies.

not to mention that two babies a year apart is really hard. just remember how tired you were during the first trimester, and figure out how you'll take care of your 3 month old (and enjoy mothering!) when you're feeling so exhausted. the second baby is way harder than the first because you not only have to care for a baby, you also have a toddler who needs your full attention as well.

Victoria,
Only you and your husband can decide what the right time frame is for you. However, with the baby only being 12 weeks old I would discuss this with your ob/gyn to make sure you are recovered enough physically. My sister had 3 girls in less than 3 years, and because they were so close together her 3rd baby arrived 12 weeks early. This baby spent 6 weeks in the NICU and came home with monitors and such. Thankfully she has done very very well. My sister waited 4 years for #4 and 2 more years for #5 with no complications for the babies.
Congratulations on your first precious little one and best wishes for your future!

Pray about it!! Let God be a part of the decision. His plan for you is better than your own. Here is a great resource on family, and family size, etc.

www.ccli.org

God Bless

Give your body a chance to rest. Everybody has a different view on how close or far apart you should have your kids. Mine are (accidentally) only 17 months apart. It's not as hard as I expected, but it's certainly not easy. My first son wasn't old enough to understand that I was too tired to play with him for 2 months and he still gets jealous when the baby nurses and I won't let him.
There are pros and cons to all the choices, just listen to everyone's stories and decide what sounds best for you.

I think I would wait at least 2 yrs. before trying to have another one.

K.

No, I would not have another baby unless I could give them more attention. If you got pregnant now, they would only be 1 year apart. I currently have a 1 year old and it would break my heart to have to give most of my attention to a new baby right now, he's still my baby.

Don't start trying yet. That is close together. Your body still has not had time to heal fully yet. I would wait at least a minimum of 1 yr. before getting pregnant again. Not all pregnancies are the same either. You may have trouble with this one you may not. It is definitely too soon to start again. Wait at least 1 yr. before you start trying again. You need to give your body time enough to heal completely.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4.