I think I already know the answer, but I want to see what everyone else thinks.
I don't want to down the lovely present I recieved off my father and stepmother yesterday, it was really thoughtful and appreciated. But on the gift tag and card, it said - Dad, step mom, my 3 brothers and sisters names also.
My oldest brother is 30 years old, and hasnt lived at home for 10 years AT LEAST!!, my next oldest brother is 22, my youngest brother is 20, my sister is 24. the only one at home is my middle brother.
None of them gave me a personal greeting, or even facebooked me for my birthday. I think it's time that they took some responsibility!
I only put the names on that the gift is from. My older two, if they put money in get their names on the card but usually they insist on buying their own card to go on the gift.
Pretty much I stopped putting their name on the gift when they became adults.
Whoever contributed to the present - whether in cash contributions or picking out? their name goes on the card/present.
I'm sorry you are disappointed by your family not doing more for you on your birthday!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
I'm with Cheryl: if they chipped in some money or helped pick it out in some way, their name goes on the card or tag. (Example: funeral sprays are really expensive, so it's always from my family, my brother's family, and my mom....but it's one magnificent spray instead of 3 crummy ones).
Maybe your mom knew they were either broke, irresponsible, forgetful, or "WHATEVER" and didn't want you to get your feelings hurt? Or maybe they gave input on what to get you? Dunno...
Happy birthday, a little late. I know you're not "really" asking about names on gifts as much as smarting from not being recognized on your day by your siblings. Sorry about that; I am sure it's a bummer, but there's not really anything I know to do about that.
I agree with you. The other posters make sense when they suggest that maybe your siblings chipped in for the gift, and that is why they're all listed on the card. But the fact that none of them called you, sent a simple card or facebooked you leads me to believe that that's not the case (sorry if that hurts). I'm pretty certain you're not upset about whatever the gift was. You're upset about the fact that Dad (and possibly step mom) were the only ones to really think of you on your birthday. I'm sorry that happened to you! You might want to make it known that you'd like to be acknowledged on your birthday. Not by a gift, but by a simple phone call, text, or whatever. My MIL always says to us, in a joking way, "Don't forget my birthday! These things are important!" Only she's not really joking. And I've never looked at it as geez, she just wants a gift. She's just one of those people who tells other people what she wants, so that she won't be disappointed. I hope it works out better for you in the future!
Oh, and to sort of answer your question - just today I sent a birthday card to a childhood friend. I used to write "Love...." and list me, my husband, and our 2 kids. She has met my kids twice. She and my husband get along fine but don't know each other well. (they live in another state, so we never get together) A few years ago I just started writing my own name on her card. I mean, really, it's from ME!! Might as well just say it like it is.
When they become "adults." To me this generally means at 18yo, 21yo, or when they've graduated from college, depending on the particular situation.
That's ridiculous and I agree with you. My husband has a spoiled baby of a cousin who is in her 30's married, has children and her parents *still* list her on the card for gifts even though it's clear that the gift is from one couple (her parents) and not something that the group went in on. My FIL did that to us on a graduation gift for one of his cousins' kids. We all received separate invites to the party, we accepted our invite, got a card and a gift like normal people and when we met up with our ILs while walking into the party my FIL was like "oh why'd you bring a gift we added you, [Husband] and [BIL] to our gift" and I smiled and said "thanks, but we're grown ups and you don't have to do that anymore your sons can actually buy and bring gifts too" with a smile. I was totally mortified at the thought of being a 30-something married mom of 4 added on to someone else's card when we didn't contribute anything to that gift!
My brother still constantly asks me if I got "the card" for mother's day, father's day, birthdays, anniversaries like we're little kids and giving our parents "from all of us" greetings. I gently remind him that I got a card from me and my husband as well as ones from my kids and that he might want to stop at CVS on the way and pick up something.
Anyway...old habits die hard. Your siblings might not even know your parents do this or that anyone expects a card, gift or greeting. Maybe say something in a joking way at the next family gathering: "OK boys and girls can we all agree that we can put on our big girl and boy underwear and not have mom and dad add your name to a card for a gift you didn't participate in? Can we agree that we're all on our own for birthday cards and gifts and greetings?"
Depends. In this specific case, your siblings probably should not have been included unless they chipped in on the gift too.
My son is a full time college student and when not at college he still lives at home. He is still on cards (he's almost 21) and will remain there for now...I don't think it is all about age.
It is definitely time for them to grow up and assume the role of an adult.
Sorry they missed your birthday. That sucks!
You don't say if it was an "expensive" ,perhaps each one had contributed to the cost for (and that's why their names are on it). Before being rude to your siblings and/or father and step mom, perhaps you should find this out and promptly send a nice thank-you to each. If that's not hte situation then perhaps you should CALMLY explain to your dad and/or stepmom that it's confusing to get a gift from "everyone" that isn't really "from" everyone and ask them to refrain from that in hte future. BTW grown siblings in my family do not ackowledge/celebrate each other's birthdays. Period. Be grateful for the family instead of finding fault.
My step mom always signs for "my family" on the gifts she purchases for grandparents and such. She knows that we live pay check to paycheck...It kills me that we can't contribute...we would if we could. She knows this. I love giving, I love seeing others faces...when they open gifts. Unfortunately, the last few years I have not been able to do things like that.
I do however "take care" of her& dad when it comes to gifts. I add my brother and sister on it even if they get her something else too. Guess some of us just don't worry about if there is money chipped in or not.
I sign a child's name to a gift if he or she contributed somehow. As children, this may be helping the parent pick out the gift, helping wrap it, writing a card, etc. Once the children are old enough to have their own income (at least by high school), I would assume they would give their own gifts and would only sign their names if they contributed financially to mine.
We tend to chip in for large gifts in my family, so we're all on there. Otherwise, when we moved out and were financially independent... we were on our own with respect to gift buying!
