When to Make Move to Toddler Bed?

Updated on September 09, 2009
C.K. asks from Langhorne, PA
18 answers

Hello Ladies! My son has been an independent sleeper for the past few months. he falls asleep on his own, with the exception of 1 ear infection this summer when he needed some extra love at night. the past 3 nights he has been sreaming like you wouldn't believe at night. He doesn't stop screaming for either me or my husband. We give him water, extra hugs etc. My question is could these protests be because he doesn't want the crib anymore? We have been using big boy language at home (potty, big boy chair, big boy cup etc). He's only 23 months. Is it too soon to make the transition to toddler bed? We do have another son (9 mo old)and have noticed a few peaks of jealousy but that is normal. Any suggestions would be helpful.

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T.C.

answers from York on

Every child is different. My oldest son who is now 3 1/2 went into a "big boy" bed at 20 months and NEVER had a problem with it. My youngest is almost 21 months old and she isn't even close. We know that with her it is going to be a battle keeping her IN the bed when it is time for her to sleep and she seems content in her crib so we have let her stay in it. I would say try it and see how it goes. If you have a convertible crib it's even more convenient because you don't have to go out and buy a new bed and you can go back to the crib easily if you have to. If you don't have a convertible crib you might want to just try a mattress on the floor for a few nights to see how it goes and see if he's ready before you go out and buy a new big boy bed.
GOOD LUCK
T.

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

My oldest was in her toddler bed about 18 months and the rest by the time they were 2. I don't understand the thinking that they are safer in the crib. The fall from a toddler bed is so much closer to the floor! He may love having a big boy bed :)

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J.J.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Just wanted to add one more no to the toddler bed. Leave him in the crib until 3 or climbing out.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

The best advice I ever got (but I got it too late!) was to keep them in the crib until they are 3 as long as they are not climbing out. Toddler beds are also a waste of money at that point and you can go straight to a twin or whatever you'll get for him. The older they are the smoother the transition will be. Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Williamsport on

We put my son on a toddler mattress on the floor in his own room at 13 months. Then around 18 months we moved the mattress up into the toddler bed frame.

He has been very happy - he hated the crib. We had a short couple of weeks where he didn't want to stay in his room alone - but that was around 2 years old... and I don't think it had anything to do with the bed - it was just a stage of wanting mommy to stay until he fell asleep, which we did not do.

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi C.,

Suppose you get him a toddler bed and he keeps doing the same thing but now he is able to get out of bed, what will you do then?

Is he cutting teeth? Has he got another ear ache?

Try to find out and resolve this issue before changing anything.

Just wanted to share. D.

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L.G.

answers from State College on

We moved to the big boy bed at around 3 after my son was potty trained. I'm not sure what is up with the current behavior. Doesn't sound like it's directly related to the sleeping and/or bed. He's not even two which was just before my twins gave up their naps. I wasn't even ready to drop the side of the rail during sleeping (so they won't climb over it) at this point. Is your bedtime routine long (unwind, bath, book, goodnights?). My son was exactly an hour to go to bed and if we rushed it to get him in, it was still an hour. Maybe a change of bedtime routine (or a chance that already occured but you aren't thinking about) may be part of the cause and/or solution.

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D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I'd try to figure out what is causing the screaming. Although he's old enough to move to a toddler bed if you want, I doubt that's why he's crying.

We went through something similar, and it turns out that a stuffed animal in his room (which had been there since birth) was suddenly scaring him.

I've since heard that this is common - that at this age, night vision improves, and things look different in the dark than they do in the light (as during nap times). For us, the solution was as simple as putting that animal in another room, and he went back to sleeping great.

Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

It's important to keep a child in a crib for as long as possible. Not just for the safety of the child, but the older they are the easier the transition is most times. I would keep the child in his crib until he reaches the size suggested by your crib before moving him out. If you think he's causing a fuss now, imagine if he had the ability to roam around the house on his own. He'd be coming into your room at night. It's not unusual for kids to get fussy at this age during the night, whether they're in their crib or bed. If and when you do put him in an open bed, do put up a gate at his bedroom door, or at the end of the hall, or just outside the bathroom or at the top of the stairs. However your home is set up. You don't want him having the ability to roam all over unsafely. But for safety reasons, keep him in his crib for as long as possible.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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D.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

It is only natural to one to comfort our child when they do not feel well. My son had two ear infections in six weeks and was in the hospital overnight. I had to deal with letting sleep in the bed until he went to sleep,then having to put him in the crib. Finally, his Dad and i talked to him and told him he was a big boy and need to sleep in his big boy bed. My son is a few months older than your son but I elect to still let him sleep in a crib. I feel at this point he would get out of his bed and want to come into my bed. i am also worried about him falling out of a bed at this point. I think,around three years old is the right time to put a child in a toddler size bed. It may sound mean but, I would let him scream for a few night if you know he is feeling better. When you stop giving him the extra attention and let him go to sleep he will learn to self soothe again. Best of luck to you.

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M.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

For my first son, he transitioned at about 22 months and did great. My younger son transitioned about 20 months because he wanted to do what his older brother was doing. We haven't had any problems with either. The biggest challenge was keeping my oldest in bed initially, but he got used to it within a week or two. Good luck!

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

2 is pretty normal to move to a toddler bed. The screaming is not for any positive reason. Don't give into it! Or reward it with hugs. I notice he's only been falling asleep on his own for a few months and he's almost 2. He's probably wanting to revert or exert command because he thinks he can and -he's two.

My 20 month old has always been left to sleep on his own. He sometimes cries a few minutes before sleep, sometimes not. It never gets crazy or lasts more than 2-3 minutes because he knows it's sleep time, and he's never gotten any attention for crying-I think he just likes to do it sometimes! Like his own little manly battle cries at the end of a hard toddler day. Especially if we were doing something really fun before bed, he's sad to bid farewell.

Do a lovely bedtime routine, put him in his nice bed, give him stories and love, then walk away. He is well old enough to feel secure and happy falling asleep alone. You may want to get this system back in gear before you switch the bed, since he may add getting out of bed to his protests. Whatever you do, don't try to figure out WHY he is screaming so you can cater to him (unless he's sick of course). Set the sleep situation you want in your home and stick to it. Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

HI C.
No-pretty sure your son is not crying for a new bed. My guess is that it is some kind of night terror. My son went through this. He is most likely still asleep when he is crying out so no amount of comforting is going to help and it will usually make it worse. What I did was to stay at a close distance from him and gently reassure him with "shhh its ok" language. Then you just let him ride it out. Very hard to do-I know. One of the things that we found to cause it was when he was off his schedule so try to keep him as close to a regular schedule as possible with adequate naps. Do what you can to have him in bed at the same time every night.

Oh-and I wouldn't switch him to a big boy bed for a while. Both of my son's sleeping patterns changed dramatically with the switch. They gave up naps and woke up earlier-seeking us out when they would wake up. Small children crave the coziness of the crib and IMO get a much better sleep that way.

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N.H.

answers from Harrisburg on

First off, he's not too young to be moved into a toddler bed but you have to be willing to stay with him until he falls asleep for a while. We moved my son into a big boy bed when he was a little younger than 22 months and he did really well. By the time he was 24 months we could leave the room before he went to sleep. Before that we would just lay with him until he was asleep. The reason we did it so young was because we had been rocking him to sleep at night and putting him in his bed once he was asleep. Then, all of a sudden, he started waking up and screaming every time we put him in the crib. We tried letting him CIO but it was like he was too old for it (either that or I just couldn't put up with it long enough to make it work). It was basically our last resort but worked out really well. He may be screaming at night because he's become much more aware of what's going on and is testing you out.

On the other hand his younger brothers (28 month old twins) are still in their cribs and having no problem with it so I intend to keep them there for a while. We did have to let them CIO a few times when they were younger.

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R.H.

answers from Lancaster on

If your son is an independent sleeper, do NOT go back to helping him fall asleep. Certainly find out what is causing the screaming if you can.

Our first son fell out of his crib in an attempt to climb out and we had to put him on a mattress on the floor. He wasn't quite 2. Our second son, never tried to get out and was in his crib til almost 3, went straight to a twin bed, and by far it was easier to adjust to a real bed at age 3 than almost 2. then again our sons are very different in personality...

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J.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I wouldn't push the issue of the toddler bed until your son can get out of the crib on his own. My daughter could climb out of her crib by 20 months, so we had to put her in a toddler bed early. I wouldn't say it is too soon to transition to the toddler bed, though.

My daughter used to scream sometimes at night, but it turns out she was not really awake when she had the screaming fits. The doctor said the best thing to do is leave her in her crib because that is the safest place when a baby/toddler has a screaming tantrum at night. He said that trying to hold her or comfort her could be dangerous if she is not awake because she could start kicking and screaming and fall. Next time your son screams, as hard as it may sound, try letting him go for a few minutes. He may just fall back to sleep on his own. My daughter did. She wasn't really screaming for any reason. It was just a night terror. It sounds horrible to let your toddler cry, but it really did work. Within a few minutes she was back to sleep. Believe me, I am not one to let my baby cry and not try to comfort her. I think that is why we had so much trouble getting her to sleep on her own. Every time she would cry I was right there, but she does fine on her own now. So try to let him go for a few minutes. Hopefully that works :)

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L.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I recommend waiting until kids are older to move them out of their cribs. I waited until mine were 3 years old. We had smooth transitions and I think that was due, at least in part, to the fact that they were better able to understand rules. We did put gates at their doorways so they couldn't roam the house if temped to leave their beds.

Some people move their kids from cribs if/when they start climbing out. My daughter was a climber but we weren't ready to have her in a big bed for various reasons. Our answer was a mesh tent over the crib. It worked well for us.

Your son's recent behavior could be due to any number of things - a change in your routine, the start of an illness, a change in sleep patterns, perhaps he is dreaming. I'd look toward these scenarios. Best wishes.

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K.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Totally agree with the advice to keep in crib as long as possible! I had a terrible time making my boys stay in their bed when I switched them. When you do the switch prepare for this by looking at a few strategies Dr.Ferber has on getting kids to stay in bed. I think he is a genius!

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