When to Seek Help

Updated on June 30, 2008
A.A. asks from Grand Ledge, MI
13 answers

How long should I wait to see my Dr. for TTC. What generally happens when you contact the Dr.

We have been trying since Oct. 2007 and had one Miscarriage in Dec. 2007. so it has been 8 months total. I am 24 and my husband is 27.

I am really starting to get discouraged about the whole thing and just can't get it out of my mind.

**added note
I have been using fertility friend and OPK's, but I think I may be missing something somwhere.

What can I do next?

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A.H.

answers from Lansing on

Usually not until after a year of trying. Also if you had a miscarriage maybe a little longer. They usually will do tests to a see if anything is blocked and also to see if you are ovulating. I have never had this done but that is what I have heard.

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K.K.

answers from Detroit on

There's a book called "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" that is supposed to be *wonderful* in learning more about your cycles.

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H.L.

answers from Detroit on

I say take charge of it now!

The first thing I would do is buy a fertility kit at the drugstore- had I done this earlier, I would've saved myself 6 months of disappointments. You see, I was 32 when we began trying. I did the temp thing, counted days, etc- and no pregnancy. I began to buy the kits and what do you know- NO POSITIVES. I was not ovulating. I had a period and everything- just was not ovulating.

As soon as I went to the Dr with this (after trying only 6 months), he immediately put me on metaformin (sp) and the next month- pregnant. I'm due any day now!

I think we need to be VERY proactive about our health- especially our reproductive health- so when you go to the Dr (with or without a positive ov test), go prepared and if your Dr does not respond- if he/she says "relax"- find a new Dr.

Wishing you the best!

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A.M.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi A. - We used an infertility doctor to help us conceive our 2 boys. It's worth the call if you're worried or just need reassurance. If you need a referral or more info - feel free to contact me, okay? Hang in there!

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D.B.

answers from Detroit on

So sorry to hear that you had a mc. I had 2 and went through fertility treatments before deciding on adoption. We now have a beautiful 5 yr old son & it makes all of those years of ttc (trying to conceive) a distant memory.

Anyway, my Dr. originally told me that unless you are 35 or older, that you should go get help after 1 year of trying. I believe though that it goes down to 6 mths after you are in your 30's or have tried & are having mc's.

Hope that helps! If you need some encouragement from ladies that are ttc...BabyCenter.com has some great message boards! I used them while ttc & still use the adoption boards today! :)

Hugs,
D.

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S.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I also heard the "under 35, 1 year...over 35, 6 months". For you, I'd say that since it's been 8 months and it sounds like it's starting to take over all your thoughts and probably your life, there would be no harm in calling the doctor to get you both checked out. Good luck and I hope everything works out.

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H.L.

answers from Detroit on

Your story sounds like my story. My husband and I were together for 5 years before getting married. We wanted to try for children right away. Every month was a disappointment when I wasn't pregnant. When we finally "stopped trying" and just enjoyed the time with each other, we got pregnant.

It took us 18 months. We didn't go to a fertility doctor, we just relaxed and didn't make it the only reason for us being together. We thought a second child would take a long time too, so we began to practice and got it right the first time.

My suggestion is to just RELAX and don't worry about it. Give it a little more time to happen on its own.

Good luck and fertility vibes sent your way!
H.

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S.M.

answers from Lansing on

I agree with others, when we started trying for our 2nd baby, it had been 8 months and I was discouraged every month that I found out that I wasnt pregnant...so we quit, I figured it wasnt the right time and said we were going to take a break from trying and ther next month I found out I was pregnant. Stress really does mess with your system, your body feels the stress and doesnt like it so it keeps you from getting pregnant. Just relax, you are both young so there is no really hurry (other than your want), decide to stop trying for awhile and let things happen. Also, try the ovulation tests and see when you are ovulating, that will help just to let you know when is the best time. And as gross as you may think it is, my Dr said the first couple days of your period were great times to get pregnant, put some candle in the bathroom and try the shower (sorry if that is too grafic for some!)

Good Luck

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D.M.

answers from Saginaw on

I am very sorry to hear about your miscarraige. I think you can always talk to a doctor and get blood work done at any time just to check that everything is okay. But, You haven't really been trying long at all, so don't get discouraged. Do have your hormones checked soon though, because sometimes those can take a while to get them working enough. I wish you all the best. I'll be praying for you I know how frusterating it can be, it took 11 years to have my son. He's now 1 1/2 and I'm pregnant again.

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J.H.

answers from Detroit on

I'll start off by saying I am not a medical expert so this is purely opinion based on friends' and personal experience :) Anyway, it sounds like stress may be getting in your way. You are still young and since it's only been 7 months, I wouldn't start to worry too much. You sound like you have a full life with a 5 year old and a new marriage (even though you've been together for along time) so I'm sure that being an active parent while trying to get pregnant and suffering a miscarriage is probably weighing on your mind and causing stress. One of my closest friends tried for a very long time (2 years - she was 27 when she started), started taking fertility treatments and then got pregnant. Unfortunately, she lost that pregnancy about 8 weeks in... Once it was safe, she started the fertility treatments again but had no luck. So she went off of the treatments and she and her husband "took a break from trying" for a month. They were literally getting ready to put a down payment on IVF on Monday and guess what... She found out she was pregnant that Saturday! Thankfully, they avoided the cost of IVF and now they have a happy, healthy little girl. I'm not saying this will work for everyone but it goes to show that your stress levels definitely can have an affect on fertility issues. If you're concerned, it wouldn't hurt to talk to your doctor but my guess is that he or she will suggest you just keep trying (as long as you don't have any pre-existing fertility problems). The thing that worked for me was that I used the fertility test kits that are bought at the drug store. They told me exactly when I was ovulating and it worked. You may not be ovulating on a "regular" schedule (i.e. 14 days following the start of your period). I have a friend who ovulates very early in her cycle and was having trouble getting pregnant until she used the fertility tests and realized she simply ovulates earlier than "the norm". Best of luck!

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D.N.

answers from Detroit on

Now is the time, its been almost a year, but with the mc (sorry for your loss) you may have some underlying medical issues. Take in your BBT, charts, everything you've been doing. Also, make a list of any/all meds and OTC you've been taking. Make note of any regular symptoms (headache, weight gain/loss) that you think have NOTHING to do with the fertility.

Explain your concerns to your regular ob/gyn. Emphasize the mc and ask her/him to look at your charts. You may be missing something or you may need a little medical nudge. Good luck.

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B.V.

answers from Detroit on

I agree you should start charting your temps (basal body temps) each morning. If after 1 year of trying with no results, seek a doctor's opinion. The Dr. will want to see a record of your BBTs anyway, so this way you'll be ahead of the game. Good luck!

P.S. After charting my BBTs, I discovered I had a short luteal phase and couldn't get pg without help. Enter Chlomid and...voila...twins!

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K.G.

answers from Detroit on

Have tracked your fertility? Natural Family Planning is a great way to see when you are ovulating. I have used NFP for 5+ years to both achieve and avoid pregnancy!
Here is there wed site ccli.com
Many Blessings, K.

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