When to Start a Bra

Updated on February 13, 2008
H.B. asks from Glen Burnie, MD
18 answers

I have a 7 yr old and the women my one side and her fathers side are both sizey chested. She has started developing little humps/puffiness. I can not for the life of me remember when I started wearing a bra but don't really know many people with girls my daughters age or a little older to ask. I don't want to start her too soon but I don't want to wait too long where she starts to get noticed and teased. At what point should I look at buying a bra for her? Thoughts, suggestions!?

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So What Happened?

I want to thank everyone for the thoughts and advice. I was leaning towards the sportsbras but wasn't sure so that's what we will go ahead and do. For those who have girls and have gone thru the same thing... GOOD LUCK!!

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L.K.

answers from Washington DC on

I had the same dilemma with both of my stepdaughters. I was not ready to put them in a bra. My solution was to buy the sport tank tops. They pass as undershirts but have the same support as a bra if not more.

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J.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi H.,
Personally, I started wearing a bra at age 10 and went right into a B-cup...it's like I just woke up with them one day! Anyway, for 5 years I was the manager of the lingerie dept in a local department store...so I know bras.

For one thing, she definitely needs a training bra vs any kind of adult bra. The adult bras most likely wouldn't fit her anyway because she's too tiny around the rib cage. What I don't agree with what all the other ladies is saying, is how easy they say it is to find these training bras. When I was working I had to do "competative/comparitive" shopping all the time to see what all the stores in the mall carried, and training bras or bras for younger girls were next to impossible to find. However, I've been out of the bra business for about 3 years now, so things might've changed.

Your best bet when looking is to look in the girls/children's dept rather than the lingerie dept. I'm sure that they sell these at Walmart, so before going from store to store...I'd look there first. The brand for girls that I'm most familiar with is "Bestform", I believe that they carry these at Walmart and I know that they carry them at Boscov's (or at least they used to). All of the Bestform teen/training bras are priced under $10, so they're very reasonable. If you do have any trouble finding a bra for her, you can always look online as well. (http://www.boscovs.com/StoreFrontWeb/Department.bos?pdn=6...)

Most training bras have nothing to them, they're just a band, cups, & straps with nothing fancy added (they don't really need it) similar to sports bras although maybe not as "bulky". But whatever you buy, make sure that she's comfortable, you don't want her to start taking it off at school in the middle of the day because it's pinching or itchy. She may pick out a pretty bra with a little lace edging or something...be sure that she tries it on, because sometimes the prettiest bras can be the most uncomfortable. If she insists...buy one of the plain ones too just in case, after wearing it for a full day, she may change her mind. Childrens' skin is much more sensitive than adults, so something that may just look pretty to us could proove to be irritating to them if them have to wear it 6+ hours straight.

If you have problems with her nipples showing, even while wearing a training bra, then try to find one that is "lightly lined" (not padded). These aren't padded but they have just a little light soft filling that gives extra coverage and keeps nipples from showing through the bra and clothes. A lot of mothers are hesitant to buy bras with any lining because they don't want to make their girls look like their chests are bigger. But this is not the point of lining...it's just for coverage. If the nipples are showing it'll definitely be more noticable then another quarter of an inch (not even) added to the bustline.

If she's not quite to this stage yet or you have trouble finding a training bra or are still a little hesitant to get her a bra, then you can always try having her wear undershirts/camisoles under everything just to give her a little coverage. At this point she shouldn't really need any "support", just "coverage" to make it look less noticable under her clothes.

Hope this helps, good luck!

God bless,
J. B

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter also started to develop early. I started her with just the cute little sportsbra type bras when she was about 8. She has slowly (or not so slowly) progressed to full fledged bras. She just turned 11 and wears about a 32 A moving towards a B.

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S.F.

answers from Sharon on

When My Daughter was wearing a shirt one day ...i just noiced..Uh oh...time for a bra~! It is like it happens over night and you just know. I think that if you are asking when is the right tie, then it probably is the right time to go get her a couple. Walmart has great training bras with no wires, very comfortable. My Daughter loves them.
Bonnie D.

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J.B.

answers from Scranton on

I would see if she's interested yet. She should be the one to decide when she's ready.

I think teasing is just as likely to occur either way, unfortunately. Though many schools are considering that sexual harassment and punishing it severely now, so you might check with her teacher or principle and see what the situation is there.

There is no health reason that a girl needs to wear a bra no matter the size of her breasts. It won't prevent sagging. In fact, it may make it worse since the chest muscles don't develop as well when there's a bra doing their job.

http://www.brafree.org/ has some neat info about breast health.

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C.H.

answers from Reading on

try a undershirt under her clothes and see how that looks

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D.H.

answers from Dover on

Hi H.,

You should go to the Limited Too store or Old Navy and check out their bras. They carry the smaller sizes for the younger girls, my daughter started when she was 8-almost 9 years old. You might only be able to find a cami type shirt if your daughter is small framed.

I hopes this helps....

D.

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R.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi H.,
I have three girls (15,11,8) and also 3 grown step daughters who I helped rear through the teen years.Any girl Q's I prolly have covered LOL

Anyway,if you go to buy your daughter a bra, you will probably find that any that resemble a "real" bra...with straps and mini cups are going to be too big for her. Her back measurement won't be big enough for even a 28AAA yet. ( I could be wrong, I don't know your daughter)AT around 10-11 she'll probably be able to fit into bras.

I would suggest you find those little undershirt type things but get one that looks like a sports bra, KWIM? They look like a wide strapped scoop nect kinda tank top. They should be made of some cotton or cotton lycra blend.Something like this will help cover her chest so her "puffiness" isn't as noticable but will probably be a lot more comfortable and fit better than trying to find her a mini training bra.

Ahh...after posting this I see you've gotten responses similar to mine and have the problem worked out. Good luck with your daughter...I loooove having girls!

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L.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi! I started developing around 8 years old and my mom bought me a "training" bra. We went out together to get it and I felt very special. As a matter of fact, I was so proud that when I got home, I modeled the bra for my father! LOL He was a little uncomfortable, but hey. Anyway, now they have the sports bras for young girls, so you can start with that. They are very comfortable. You definitely don't want her walking around with her "bud" sticking through her shirt. You kow how cruel children can be.

PS I got my period at 9, so just be on the lookout for other areas of puberty that may begin to "bloom".

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M.A.

answers from Allentown on

Hi H.,

This sounds about right to me for her to start wearing a bra, at least in this day and age. Boy do they develop faster. They now have more of a sports bra type for younger girls, that I think are a good ease into the whole thing. Sometimes you can find them with flowers, hearts, that kind of stuff.

Good luck!

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E.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I just gave birth to my third child (a Boy), in 1991. My oldest daughter, ( I also have a second daughter)was 9 at the time. I started to notice the little "nubs" and realized it was time. If your instincts are talking to you , they are right. So as soon as I could get on my feet, my daighter was wearing a bra. Her father's side has busty women. Soon after that my daughter was on her way in starting her period. I had 9 and 7 year daughters and a newborn son. I loved it!! It will make her comfortable about herself, you remember? You will both be fine. Good luck.

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C.G.

answers from Allentown on

Hi H.!
I agree with both responses so far! Go get her some of those cutey, sports-bra-ish things. Let her pick them out and make it a great day together. I am also a well endowed woman and my mom (I think she was embarassed) didn't get me a bra when she should have, and as a result (I know this is partially my genetics), my 'girls' aren't as perky as they could have been. I have spent a LARGE MAJORITY of my life being horrified by what they look like and it's taken a toll on my sexuality-luckily, I've got a great husband who could care less about their gravitational pull, but, nevertheless, I've had a hard time dealing with them- and I'm 34!! Please be proactive and go get her some support!!!!!
Take care!
C.

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T.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

H., My daughter started to develop early. Large-sized breasts run in both sides of our family too. I found that buying little sports bras for my daughter got her used to wearing something under her tops,and they are not as noticeable as real bras. They are comfortable, and provide an extra layer of fabric where she might need it.

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M.I.

answers from Philadelphia on

My 8 year old stepdaughter has also started developing. Her mother and I have started buying her little girls bras, like the sports bra style. This seems to work for now. It isn't too grown up, but it helps her look appropriate in t-shirts and lightweight tops when her "bumps" would be more noticable. They are affordable and can be found anywhere from Kmart to The Gap.

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T.P.

answers from Washington DC on

i too, developed early and i experience a little bit of teasing.. they have so many things out now, vs before, you can go to sears or other places and see if they have beginner type accessories... not yet a bra, but something to cover the beginning of development. developing earlier as you know can be very tramatic... i remember when i was 14 and grown men where looking at my chest as they were telling me how pretty i was or even just talking to me... i tend to slouch a little now, and am not one of those ppl that "put it out there", i have a 4 yr old and if she takes after me, my advise to her will be "just be smart, you may want attention, but not the wrong kind". i dont envy you though, with the bra's also come the "talks"... good luck!

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S.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

HELLO H.!
I HEAR YOU MY DAUGHTER IS 13 AND HAS HAD A BRA FOR A FEW YEARS NOW. WHAT I DID WHEN SHE STARTED WITH "LITTLE HUMPS" I JUST BOUGHT HER SPORTS BRAS (MORE COMFORTABLE AT A YOUNGER AGE) WHEN SHE DEVELOPED MORE WE HAD A TALK ABOUT HER BODY AND WENT SHOPPING FOR THE MOST INNOCENT LOOKING BRAS WE COULD FIND. WHICH BELIEVE OR NOT WAS A LITTLE DIFFICULT. HOPE THIS HELPS!!! GOOD LUCK!!!!

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D.A.

answers from Dover on

Hi H.,

I'm not so sure that buying a bra is right at this time. She is still younge enough that maybe a "FORM FITTING" tank top will do just fine. I bra just might make her very insecure and wondering if "everyone" can tell. Maybe start talking to her about having to get one..Get her ready and maybe excited about getting on..that way she is not shocked by it all. I remember when I got my first bra. I hated it and was very affraid of others teasing me for having to wear one

Just a thought,
D.

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D.Z.

answers from Pittsburgh on

i started getting my 8y/o bra's about a year ago. she isn't mine but i know her mom's family is on the larger side. i wanted her to get use to wearing them before she needed them. i bought her some that look like the sports bra's i wear. she loves them i also bought her some under shirts for the days she doesnt wanna wear a bra.

i am having a very hard time getting her 11y/o sister to wear them even though she needs to be. i wish i would have started out with her the same as i did her sister.

i know it is very hard to see them grow up so fast. it really seems like kids these days are blooming alot earlier.

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