When to Start Kindergarten? 4.5 Yo, or 5.5 Yo?

My daughter will be 4 almost 5 when she starts. What we plan on doing is going forward with her starting at 4. She has been in preschool since she was 18 months. We feel that if we need to, we will just repeat kindergarten again.

All my kids were fall babies. They are now 24, 19, and 16.
If I had it to do over again, I would DEFINITELY WAIT til they were five. It is the law in almost all the states, for good reason.
My kids could all write their names and recognize letters so I thought they would be fine. And they were, academically. And socially, til about fifth grade. Especially my daughters, they were smaller IN EVERY WAY (puberty), and we are late bloomers besides. So then they are littler and behind in every way except academics. Physically, they were behind. So wait, teach her more, teach her letter sounds and math etc. She can never be TOO READY academically, but she could wind up behind emotionally and physically later, and girls can be VERY MEAN in middle school. Better to be ahead of the game. Hope this helps.

If she has been to preschool, she should do pretty well
in kindergarten.I started my son when he was 4 ( DOB 9/01).
He did well because every thing he did in preschool was
done in k.

We did not start our daughter in Kindergarten until she was 5- almost 6. She has a late birthday and is pretty shy. We put her in her preschool's "Transitional Kindergarten" and are so hppy with out decision. My husband has a late birthday- and his parents tried to start him at 4, he was just too young. We figured our daughter has the rest of her life to go to school if she wants- (I just completed my Master's degree this summer). Our daughter is in Kindergarten this year and is loving it- I would do it again in a minute. Good luck with your decision!

Hi, Kristen,
I went through the same decision process with my son who is now 24. He was definitely ready for kindergarten academically, already a reader on his own, and would have done well--but I talked to 2 friends whose children (one boy, one girl) also were bright, reading before they entered, etc.--and they had regretted it every year after grade 3, but teachers won't hold kids back for social reasons. When a 10 year old is in a class with 12's who are menstruating and pubertal boys, it is really tough for them not to feel "left out". What some kids will do in order to feel included is not pretty...I kept my son in a year of "developmental kindergarten" at his preschool, which was 5 days a week like regular school, but what kindergarten USED to be--structured play and manipulatives, rather than what it has become with the testing mania today. It was the best decision we made, but we, too, didn't realize what a gift we had given him until he was in 4th grade and one of the more emotionally mature kids in his class. This has NOTHING to do with being "smart enough" or at the top of the class: there will only be one or two kids like that in any class, and they can be any age. It has to do with being able to feel comfortable with kids of all levels without feeling pressure to conform to something you are not, and that comes with maturity, not necessarily intellect. (By the way, it helps when that's the message parents give as well :) ) Best of luck.

It all depends on how mature you feel your child is. If your child attends preschool ask their teacher if they feel your child is ready for kinder. All three of my children are early kinders being born in the months of September, October and November. My oldest is the November baby and back when she was tested for kinder, the person testing felt she was not mature enough for kinder and said she would have to be in the 2 year program for kinder. I spoke to her preschool teacher who said she was ready for kinder and to speak to the school. I had to have the last say so and boy was I glad I did. My daughter started kinder that year and excelled each and every year. She graduated top 10 from her high school in a class size of 340 students. My two boys however have had some struggles but they still do fairly well. My middle child has gone on to graduate from high school and junior college and then go on to the Academy for Department of Corrections. My youngest is now starting to get better grades and is finally getting more organized with his school work which he now is on the honor roll. Each child deals with school differently. Good luck on your decision.

As a former teacher (now SAHM) I can tell you from experience as well as studies that holding children out for one year is almost always the best choice. It's better for them to go in and be at the head of the class then to be at the bottom which effects self esteem. I have never met a parent who regretted waiting the extra year.

It really depends on your child's maturity. Can she sit still? Listen and follow directions? Social skills? While academics is important, the previous skills are the most important to determine whether your child is ready or not. If she is not ready and is enrolled at 4, it will be more challenging to her as well as to the teacher. I recently substituted in a kindergarten class where half the class was 4 years old and it was very difficult. The class had difficulty listening and following directions. Thank goodness for the partner morning kindergarten teacher! I've taught 2nd graders for 4 years and am currently substituting for the past 5 years. This class was diffinately one of my most challenging classes because of the age of the kids and the dynamics of the class.

Kindergarten is about so much more than just academics. It's about all areas of a child's development. Most kindergarteners these days are at least five (by early fall) if not six when they start. With so many parents "red-shirting" their kids, your daughter could be much younger than many of her classmates. Socially, I think this can cause problems. My son is in kindergarten and turned 5 in May. He is kind of short and very thin for his age. Therefore, I was still using a booster that had a removable 5-point harness in my car for him until just a few weeks ago. I gave a kindergarten pal of his a ride home one day, and he looked at my son and said, "You still have to have one of *those* seats?" Kids are all into if they are 5, 5.5, 6, etc. No obviously you should not make a decision based on the kind of safety restraint you'll be using in you car, but she will be the last person to reach many milestones, which might be an issue. Also, the majority of studies out these days stress the importance of unstructured play (like a playdate) and play-based learning in healthy child development and that starting academics early is not an advantage. Give her another year to play. This is probably the last time you can give her that gift.

My son just missed the cut off by a couple of weeks, thankfully. He is one of the oldest in his class but has always been a fabulous student--I was thankful the decision was taken away from us. As a parent volunteer for many, many years in the elementary school classroom in a very diverse school district, I noticed that the children that had the hardest time focusing, sitting still and paying attention, and getting the assignments done were not the children you'd expect (the children with English as a second language), but were the children that were the "young" ones. There are always exceptions, and maybe your daughter will do well, but I look at the kids whose parents didn't hold them back against teacher advice, and they are still struggling. Check with the school about meeting with a kindergarten teacher and see if you can arrange for he/she to meet with your daughter. Our district does this to see where the child is and makes a recommendation to the parent.

I think it depends on the child. If my daughter could have started kindergarten at 4 I would have let her go. She was socially and academically ready for it. I would really see if your daughter is socially ready for it.

Hi Kristen,

I say 5.5. It is the trend now to keep kids back a year. My daughter is a late-September baby. I fought with my husband to keep her back, but he refused. She is now one of the youngest in her class. She always complains to me that everyone is turning seven and she just turned six. That is minor, but I can't wait until everyone gets their license and she has to wait. Ugh!!

My main concern is with the curriculum. My daughter is now in 1st grade. Kindergarten is not what it used to be. They have homework. They learn math and reading. I say give them one more year to be a kid. My daughter wasn't ready for that kind of pressure, and she is still a little behind. She just turned six and is in class with boys and girls who turnd seven over the summer. They seem more mature and more able to handle the work.

Of course, each kid is different and many younger kids will thrive. But why rush it? Once they get into school, they are there for the next 13 years, at least. I say let them have one more year of preschool. I wish I did, but I gave in.

Hi Kirsten... If this was a few years ago, I would've recommended your daughter could start school before 5 years old. Now there would be to much pressure on her to keep up with her older peers, due to the No Child Left Behind act. There is soooo much more pressure now to keep up with the state's ridgid standards of learning, tests, etc. and it starts as early as grade K, your 4 year old daughter maybe too emotionally immature to handle the stress. Hope this helps in your decision. Sincerely, CJ

My Niece and Nephew both started young and both were held back one in first and one in second grade. I would rather have my child at the top of their class then struggling to keep up.

Good Luck,

U.

I let my son wait a year and it has been great. He just started k this year and is doing terrific. There are lots of good articles on waiting a year/kindergarten readiness, etc. There's a NY Times article that you can search for. Here's how I would think of it- why not make it easier for your child instead of harder, since you really do have the decision? There are goign to be challenges no matter what, so wht not give your child 'the gift of time' so that some of them will be small instead of bigger? I know a lot of people who kept their children an extra year and I don't know anyone who regrest it. And as for school being 'boring', I think that that's a false problem. There is a whole spectrum of 'readiness' in K and the teachers are ready for it at good schools and are able to challenge the children at their levels. P;us, you get an extra year with your little one, which you'll never have again!

Good luck!
M.

I have three kids my oldest started at 5.5 and did great. My two youngest started early and have both struggled with school. If I were to do it again I would wait until they were older. You want to make sure that she is ready socially as well as academiclly.

I have 2 boys. One is in kindergarten right now. He turned 5 a week before starting school. My second son is 9 and we waited until he was 6 before starting. Both boys have b-days at the end of August.

Our decision was based soley on readyness of the kid. My oldest son was held back by us because he just did not seem ready. In fact, he was diagonsed with a LD (dyslexica and dysgraphia) last year. He has noticed that he is one of the oldest in the class and he does seem more mature than the other kids. I think this worked out well for him. My youngest is thriving in kindergarten and has no problems adjusting.

So make the decision based on your child's abilities - not based on a number. There is lots of information out there on this subject and it basically says that the kids maybe ahead the first few years if held back, but others catch up eventually.

Good Luck.

Both my sister and I started young, and I think benefitted from it. It's really your call, and I agree with another mom that her maturity level should be the deciding factor. If she can handle it, it could be the best thing for her. If she isn't ready, you'll probably be able to judge that the closer the time gets. Good luck and don't worry about pushing her- kindergarten is fun and great preparation for 1st grade!

You should see if your school offers Jr Kindergarten. My youngest started school at 4 1/2 and although he was academically ready he was not really mature enough for school. He has been having behavior issues since school started and I cant help but think it wouldnt be like this if I just waited another year to start him in school. Now his school offers Jr Kindergarten and I think its great. I only wish they started it when he was 4 1/2.

Hi Kristen,

My son was on the border and started kindergarten at almost 5 years old. The daycare staff had said he would be bored if I did not let him start, so I went ahead and thought at worst he may have to repeat kindergarten. Well he did excellent and did great up until middle school. He now is in 7th grade and is struggling in a few subjects and emotionally is behind most of his grade and this is where I think it might not be a good thing. All through grade school there were no issues, but it did show up when one year of difference is much more significant.
Just my opinion and every child is different.. wish you all the luck in making the right decision for you and your daughter.

Just one more personal experience... and I hope you aren't overwhelmed by all the advice...
Our son has an Oct. 1st birthday. I didn't feel he was ready to start school that year, but because we lived in an area where there were no children his age, but only a block from the school (where he could hear children playing) he begged me to let him go because "my kids are there". I took him in and the teacher felt he would be fine. As it turned out, I think she was too new to teaching, and not really suited to be a Kindergarten teacher. Be that as it may, he ended up repeating first grade, and struggled with school all the way through high school. After a 4 year enlistment in the Army, he returned and used his GI bill to go to college where he found the teaching to be more meaningful. He believes it was due to a better style of teaching (and he may be correct), but it could also be because he was more ready to learn after his four years of "real world" (if you can call military duty that LOL!) experience.

I would look carefully at the child's maturity level and what experience he has had to socialize so far. (Knowing alphabet, numbers, etc. isn't the best indicator of readiness, but social skills tell a lot). Also contact the school and get an opportunity to talk with the person who is likely to be his teacher. Get her(or his) take on your child's readiness, and find out what this particular teacher's philosophy and teaching style is like. That will both help you make the initial decision whether to enroll her early or late, and also will help you work with the teacher in your child's education (and that's an essential key to a good education in my opinion). BTW, girls usually are more ready to start early than boys are. We ended up with a mixed up situation, because our daughter's Dec. 30th birthday meant she started at 5.5 and was way ahead of her group. She ended up spending most of her Kindergarten year in a first grade classroom in order to avoid being so bored she would have been in danger of giving up on school entirely.
In other words.. it's a 'balancing act' so to speak, and you have to keep on making adjustments as you see needs in your child.

Hi Kristen

I have two sons that had the same problem with their age. I thought at the time the older one was old enough and I didn't know I had the option. So I enrolled him and the teacher kept him back in Kindergarten a second year.

When my other son was scheduled to go to school, I enrolled him in preschool for three days a week instead. Then the next year enrolled him in kindergarten.

In essence what it does is let them mature one more year and
give you one more year with your child. Also, school is so stressful for children now, but by putting them in preschool to play and interact with other children is good, I believe. Good luck with your decision.

D.

Wait Wait Wait!!! As a high school teacher I can tell the younger kids just by their behavior. The younger ones just do things that you kind of sit back and scratch your head. Their hormones rage a bit later than everyone else and then things get a bit goofy. Plus - if an when they go to college they will be adults - 18+

We waited with our son. There were MANY decisions that factored into keeping him home - but I think that has been one of the best decisions my hubby and I have made. J is a leader in his class both academically and socially. He is one of the oldest but one of the smallest physically. He is in 4th grade now and plays football with 5th and 6th graders but still one of the smallest. I can't imagine him sitting in class with the 5th graders now. He would be tiny and having difficulties in class.

Hi Kristen,

Start her at 5.5. Make sure she's in pre-school or a pre-kindergarten for the fundamentals as well as the socialization. Relax and enjoy her another year--you won't get it back! N.

I'd go by maturity (compared to her peers) and readiness. Has she been to preschool? Would she be bored with another year of preschool? Is she ready to move on to learning new things?

Hi!
Hang in there... this is a confusing decision and not one to make lightly... if your daughter is in preschool, you should have a conference before k registration starts-- here, reg. was in April and conferences were in March. Due to her primary teacher being on maternity leave during that time, my daughter's group--the youngest group of her class-- got tested for K readiness a month early. That was Feb... they tested her and she was at the ready stage, but they felt she was a little young yet. I talked to some K teachers I know and asked them their thoughts... struggled with it for a few months, during which time, she really seemed to mature and the things she was low on, we worked hard on and by June, we were confident that we'd made the right decision--to put her into K. She's now one of the youngest in her class and totally loves her teacher and school. But one of her good friends was held back because he just wasn't mature enough/ready enough... they found a five day a week preschool and put him in that instead of repeating the three day a week preschool. He is doing well and they are confident they made the right decision for their son. So it can go both ways. You know your child best. Talk to her teachers and see what they recommend. Repeating preschool or K isn't a big deal, but it will be once they're in 1st or higher grades. Google kindergarten readiness and print out those lists and go over them periodically and watch and see how she does... does she mature into those things? Ours did... and it was in a really short period of time... between Feb and June, really. And if I hadn't decided to take the leap and just work with her, she'd be in preschool again. Do what's best for her! Good luck!!! Oh, the other thing that helped was putting her into the kindergarten class in Sunday school in June, too. She got more socialization and made new friends and actually learned more there than she did in the 3-4 yr old class. Have fun with it, too! :)

I didn't read every response, so sorry if this is a duplicate. My nephew started school at 4 (November birthday) and has done great academically and socially. He is now 8 but all of his friends are 9. This wouldn't be a big deal except that the sports programs he participates in are grouped by age, and he doesn't make the cutoff to play on any of his friend's teams. It is looking like every other year he will have to play with the younger kids. He is very unhappy about this and doesn't want to play with "babies". This is just one other thing to take into consideration when making your decision. This has been a problem in all the sports he likes to participate in (soccer, basketball and baseball).

I have two daughters ages 8 & 4. We with the advice of my 8 yr. olds preschool teacher at the time decided to start her in Kindergarten at 4.5 yrs. She did really well in Kindergarten but come 1st, 2nd & now 3rd grade...she does extremely well socially, however, academically it always takes more help and an extra push at the beginning to mid year to keep her caught up. By the end of the year she does fine but at that point she is tired and so are my husband & I. (She has a early Oct. bday). She is also one of the youngest kids in her grade. She just turned 8 but one of her good friends is 9. It is a big difference, especially with girls nowadays!
Now my youngest daughter just turned 4 Nov. 1st. We decided this time around to wait and start her in Kindergarten at 5.5 yrs. old. I am hoping she will be much more ready academically and things may come easier and she won't get so frustrated doing the homework. Plus, she won't seem like she is growing up too fast.
Every child is different though so you'll have to use your judgement with your daughter. I just am hoping school will be easier with my youngest starting out just a little bit older. Good luck!!:)

Kristen,
My oldest started school at 4yrs 11 mos, and she was very socially immature. She had also had 2 years of pre school
prior to going into school. I also was an early bird. All it meant to us was we did not get into things that some of the older kids did. My oldest is now 19.
My second one had to wait because of the cut off date. She was ready to go when she was 4.5. She turned 5 in december.
Now she is more mature, but her personality has always been more mature. She potty trained herself at 18 mos because she did not like diapers. So, I think a lot of it has to do with the maturity of the person. The worst that could happen is that she would have to repeat kindergarten.
Both of my girls have done fine, and never been held back.And my second one has friends that are all older than she is, when she was a freshman everyone thought she was
a sophomore, this year they think she is a Junior.
I hope this helped. Feel free to email me if you have questions.

My daughter started at 4.5 and it doing great. But she did have two years of preschool. I feel if your child has preschool first or maybe even daycare it should be ok. Its not so much about learning A,B,C's or 1,2,3's when it comes to age,its about following directions from a teacher and interacting with other children. I help in her class 2 days a week. Good luck!

My son could have started when he was 4. He was pretty mature and I had some people tell me he was ready but I thought it was best to have him wait so he would not feel stressed or pressured as a 4 year old trying to do kindergarten work or being expected to sit still for long periods of time. He is now a very happy "just turned 6 year old" in kindergarten and is at the top of his class. His teacher has told me that having him wait was one of the best things we could have done for him and I couldn't agree more.

When in doubt....give her another year. What parent in their right mind wouldn't choose for their child to be at the top of her class as opposed to being the youngest?

YOU know your child best and younger girls do much better than younger boys. Trust your gut instinct.

I know it sounds like I am giving you mixed signals BUT my last point is the most important - trust your gut.

Blessings,
B.

I am "sort of" in the same situation, my 3rd son turned 5 on 9/15...I did send him to Kindergarten for 2 reasons #1 he would be in school with his older brothers and #2 I did not want to pay another year of preschool tuition and have him be bored. He has some articulation/blending problems (he has been in speech therapy since 2yr 10 months old~ I noticed problems early and hit them head on, thank goodness my pediatrician agreed)I also have 2 friends with older boys with Sept b~days, one sent her son straight through and the other had her son repeat Kindergarten...the one who went on is still having problems in 6th grade, academically and socially, that mom now wishes she had him repeat kindergarten, so on that long note, I am contemplating the same thing with my son, our school has a K-1 split class,I am thinking of having him go to that class next year. I do know they say girls mature quicker than boys, so maybe have her start, then possibly repeat if it is an issue then. Like someone posted, Kindergarten is so different from years ago!!
Good luck :)

My daughter is one of the youngest and constantly feels like she is not as smart. Everyone is nearly a year older than she is. They started K late, did another year of pre-k that she didn't do.

Stephanie

Hi Kristen,

I went to school when I was 4.5 because my mother was a kindergarten teacher so I was very verbal and could read and write early. Because of that I did very well in the early years, but by the time I got to high school I was lacking in maturity and suffered academically because of it.

Socially, luckily, I took the conservative road, but it could have easily gone the other way and it was only by a fortunate series of events and good friends that I didn't submit to peer pressure when it came to sex and drugs. Eventually the academic part of my life sorted itself out when I got to college but it was a tough road.

I suppose the long and short of what I'm saying is that while it might not matter when they're small, being older and hopefully therefore more mature in your teen years is a real advantage.

Good luck, D.

As a preschool teacher myself I always recommend parents hold off till their child is 5 yrs old if they are close to the cut off date. This puts their child at an advantage the next year and there will be no struggles and alot happens in one year of maturity.

I also tell this to parents trying to put their two year old in prescool. I always ask them to wait between 2 1/2 to 3 yrs old even if you have to start mid year. A recently turned 2 yr old will stuggle in a Pre-K classroom.

I think it really depends on the child. I was a K and a first grade teacher before I had kids. I saw kids who were "young" and ready, and kids who were held back and were still immature. My son has not started school yet, but has a early Sept. birthday. He will turn 5 next Sept. and we plan to have him start K. I understand holding a child back if they are very immature and have a late Oct. or Nov. birthday. However, the trend of holding children back when they have summer birthdays seems a bit extreme to me. (Of course if you are in a year-round district that starts in July you have to take that into account too.) Again, I think it depends a lot on the child. I would certainly say to enroll your child (usually done my most districts in the next few months). You can always decide not to send them in the fall.

Hi,
Sorry this is late. but my thinking isn't so much how she will handle kindergarten, but how she will do when she is 10 or 11 and lots of kids are a year or more older then she is. I think I would rather have her stay around younger kids and kids her own age when she is a young teen. If she starts later she won't have to be mature before she is ready and her peers will not be pushing her to be older than she is ready to be. So if it were me I'd start her at 5.5
J.

Given my family experience, I would suggest caution and would probably have your daughter wait to start kindergarten. Both my children have October birthdays. My daughter, now 18, was very ready to start kindergarten at age 4 3/4 (very verbal, writing her letters and drawing beautifully). When it was time for her to start 6th grade, however, she did not feel ready, even though her grades were very good. She was the smallest in her class, looked young even for her age, and was very uncomfortable with the social world of middle school. She started 6th grade the week of 9/11, and we and the school agreed not to push her at a time when everyone was feeling emotionally fragile. She repeated 5th grade, accepting the social consequences: she has never regretted the decision.

My son was really not ready to start school at 4 3/4; he was too interested in pursuing his own agenda to follow the rules, and he was also smaller for his age. I am quite sure that waiting has helped him succeed in school, where he might have struggled. He is now doing very well as a high school freshman.

Best of luck with your decision! Some preschools do have a program for "young 5's", and some private schools offer 2 year kindergarten to accomodate younger kids.

If you think she is too young, I would go with your instinct. If she's outgoing she'll probably do fine starting kindergarten at 4.5, but if she's a little shy or slower to warm up to people I'd wait. Can you do preschool for a year to get her ready? Take care, C.

I started my daughter @ 4.5 y/o and she is thriving in kindergarten! We jsut got the 1st quarter report card and she got a GREAT review from her teacher! :) I, myself, started early as well and had no problems.

It all depends on the child. Do you feel that she's ready? If you go on the school's website (I don't know which one you're planning of enrolling her into), they have a checklist of things to do to get your daughter ready, or what to look out for to see if your child is ready. In the mean time, what does your child think? At the end of the day, she will be the one to attend, so it's all up to her. :) Good luck!

Kindergarten is not a requirement as we all think that it is. If you feel that your child is too young/immature then you have every right to wait another year or even at all. Several of my friends and my Sister-in-law have waited an extra year to start their little ones. Kindergarten is not like we remember. There is ALOT of curriculum that the teacher has to get through each day and have very little if any time at all to go over the material again and again. So if you feel that your child is not ready, it would be best to wait, I wish I would have done that with my 9yr old.

Hi Kristen, my daughter was born in late September. She wasn't even 5 when she started. She was attending a pre-school who told me she wasn't quite ready. I cried for days not knowing what to do. I knew in my heart she was ready, but I still didn't know what to do. I ended up sending her and it was the best decision I every made. She finished the top of her class in all her school years. If you think she is ready, I would send her. I wouldn't let anyone else try to talk you out of it. I hope it all works out for you.

Just one more for you.
When I went to the kindergarten to pick up my daughter I usually found the teacher yelling at 3 little boys. I finally asked what the problem was. She said, "Their mother's have sent them to school too early. They are not ready to follow directions. They should have waited till they turned 6". Don't mother's know it is better for their child to wait? The reason is they are too immature. Your little girl would be at the top of her class if she was 5.5 years old. Sending her at 4.5 years old she will be struggling to keep up with the older kids. It is worth the extra year for her to play and get a bit more mature. It really shows up in 4th grade when they kick into more homework. Think about this one. Her whole school life depends on it. I was sent to school at 4.3 years old. I just made the cut off by a week or two. I was scared and definitely too young for school. I was the smallest child in all my classes being almost 1 year younger. And I couldn't keep up scholastically with the older kids. I highly recommend waiting for her to be the average age of 5.5 years old. I made my two boys wait till they were 6 years old. The best thing I ever did. My daughter was an April baby so she was 5.4 years old when starting kindergarten and did fine.
GOOD LUCK.

Hi Kristen, my daughter and I both started early. I felt a little socially behind everyone due to age, but academically was fine. I was also already a SHY child, so I know that didn't help. My daughter was right where she should have been and still feels it was the best decision for her--she's now 12.

My boys are late December babies and we kept them back and they are also right where they should be. I'm glad we didn't even question sending them early.

I would decide based on your daughter's temperment and how well prepared academically she might be.

Good luck!

When trying to make this decision, I think too many people don't think about what it means to be young when you are in junior high school and high school. Many young kids will do well as a young kidergartener, 1st grader, 2nd grader. It's the junior high school & high school years where the difference socially, developmentally is important. Kids all develop at a different rates and there is no predicting who will be an early or late developer when they are in kidergarten. I see no downside to being older in your class and many potential downsides to being young. Think about making decsions about drugs, alcohol, sex when you are younger vs. older -these are the big issues when raising kids. I would also prefer to send my kid to college being older than younger. (the difference between a 17 year old and 18-19 year old are greater than 2 years in terms of psychological development) It's not just about kidergarten.

We just went through that very decision. My daughter is a late Nov. born (2 weeks before the cutoff). We decided to start her in Kindergarten as a 5.5 yr old. I am so happy with this choice. Almost everyone I spoke with (preschool teachers, her pediatrician, other moms, etc) felt that this was the way to go when so close to that cut off. Her academics are strong but her social skills seem more matched to the K crowd.

Kindergarten is much more academically focused and the children really need to know some self regulation. At our school, they will do an eval later in the year to see if the children are ready for 1st grade.

It is one of those decisions that we will see the benefits more apparent in a few years. Go with your gut - if you have reservations, talk it out with people you trust.

I don't have personal experience as a mom with this, but I was a first grade teacher for 5 years. Every child is different, so I think you will be the best judge if your daughter is ready yet. I had my youngest students at the bottom of the class and the top. If you think she needs to mature more, wait a year. If you think she is really ready / interested put her in. If she is in preschool now, that is a good way you can gauge how she is doing. Is she interested in her letters and numbers? Is she learning her sounds? If she doesn't seem very interested yet, wait a year. It seems foolish to push if she is not ready. She will be happier in the long run if she feels successful in school, rather than always struggling to keep up. Best of luck with your decision!

Both of my girls started when they were almost 6 because of December birthdays. Both are doing extremely well and at the top of their class.

My youngest had a issue of having a 4.5yo in her class. He was clearly not ready and is now repeating 1st grade. I also know another boy that was born the day before my oldest who started kinder the year before her and he also had to repeat 1st grade.

Hi Kristen,

Our son has a September birthday and we waited. He is the oldest in his class (now in 1st grade). We are very glad we waited, as it was definitely the right decision for him. He is so much more confident and capable than he would have been.

Does your daughter go to preschool? Does your elementary school do kindergarten readiness evaluations? Both of those will give you good input. Our son's preschool teachers said they thought "he would benefit greatly" from another year of preschool. The kindergarten evaluation rated him at 25/100 in terms of readiness. Even with that, I agonized over the decision. We ended up doing a pre-K program, which I would highly recommend. They are usually every day for half a day, which helps it not be a shock to go to kindergarten every day.

Some parents choose to start kindergarten at 4yo and then repeat it if necessary. I think that is very hard on the kids emotionally. But it is better than sending them on to first grade and then having to repeat that!

I would recommend registering for kindergarten (usually in Feb) and then see what the evaluations say (usually in March). You can wait to decide until the end of the year or even during the summer.

Good luck,
D.

Kristen,

I went through exactly what you are dealing with! Our son (a July birthday) went ahead and started Kindergarten with the other kids without a thought of age. He did well in pre-school. In first grade we were surprised when the teacher recommended that he be held back! We felt like failures. She stated that he was perfectly capable of doing the work, but lacked the maturity to concentrate. After much prayer we decided to keep him back. He did very well all through school and is very successful in his career. The one year gift we gave him made it possible for him to be at the top of his class each year. All this being said, I am aware that girls mature sooner that boys. Your child may be entirely different that mine, every situation is unique. I have learned that California is one of the only states that starts children so early. Many states require the child to be five and a half or even six! How sad that we are so caught up with our kids being the best, first, biggest, etc. that we don't always have their best interests in mind. Parenting is not a competition. I say, let them stay children for as long as they can! They will be adults for a long time!

Blessings,
T.

Dear Kristen,
My daughter's birthday is October 30. She started kindergarten at age 4. I would have been happy leaving her in pre-school, but they said she was too advanced.
So, she got flung into that realm. Pretty early.
I must say, she held her own quite well as far as academics, but she did have some troubles with being the class "social butterfly". She is 22 and still the same way so it was a personality trait.
My birthday is is December so I was not allowed to go to school when everyone else did. I was always the oldest in my class. I was 18-1/2 when I graduated. I was tested and sent to special schools for being advanced, but my parents were very against me being moved up a grade. Why...I don't know.
If you think your kid is ready for kindergarten at 4, by all means enroll her. If she is not ready, you will know. The worst that will happen is that she will have to repeat it. Fortunately, at my son's school, they have a combo k and first grade class, so if a child has to stay in the same room, it's not any shock to their system. They just get a little more time to work on things.
That young, believe me, they don't worry so much about academic prowess as they care about being behaviorly ready. Are they potty trained? Can they follow rules and schedules? Can they play well in groups? Can they share? Can they think on their own? Are there major seperation anxiety issues?

You have a while before your daughter needs to experience this, but I would definitely get her in daycare or scheduled play groups so she has some slight idea how things might work in K. You know her better than anyone.
If she's not ready, she's not ready. But don't let your experience influence your decision. All kids learn at different speeds and she just may surprise you.

There are soooo many people holding their children back now that in some cases their kindergartners will be turning 7 before their kindergarten school year is out (this is an experience my friend is currently going through as well). I personally would not want my daughter to be the youngest and/or smallest. She might be ready academically and socially, but I would think her self confidence would be tested with so many older and bigger children. My vote - hold her back. Good luck!

I recommend waiting until she is 5.5 years old. I started my daughter at the age of four and she is consistly trying to catch up. She is now in high school:) I wish I had waited.

My son started kindergarten at 4 with a late November birthday - just made it under the deadline which in our district is 11/30. He's done great; he was more than academically ready; he gets excellent grades and tests very well. As for recommending yea or nay, it's too individual to each child. I think it was absolutely the right decision for my child, but it might not be for another. Without knowing your situation, or why it was difficult for you personally to start school early, it's hard to say more. Good luck.

I am going the echo the rest of the pack. Wait. School is not what it was when you started kindergarten. I started my children early, because I started early and loved it. The first did okay until she hit 5th grade and then the fact that she was younger than everyone in her class really became evident both emotionally and socially. Her grades began to slip and we're still struggling three years later. My son didn't do well from the beginning but we had a wonderful teacher so I left him in. A decision I've regretted. All teachers are not wonderful.

Give your child the extra time to mature so she can handle the requirements of today's schools and the peer pressure that comes with it.

I can tell you that I have yet to find anyone who waited an extra year before sending their child to kindergarden and regretted it. There are always some who wished they had waited but never any the other way around. Your daughter's preschool teachers should be able to gauge whether or not she's ready for kindergarden. Most of them do some type of assesment in the beginning of next year. I waited to send my boys and I'm so relieved that I did since one of them is having a tough time with reading. I can't imagine how it would be for him had I not waited that extra year.
M.

Our son has a late b-day: 11/22 so he was 5 3/4 when he started K. The best decision. He's now in the 2nd grade & he's not the oldest in his class. There are about 10 other kids w/b-days in Oct. & November. It was the best decision we made. He was very ready academically but he needed to mature a bit more. I spent about 4 yrs working in a K class & saw so many kids (boys & girls alike) come into K at 4 yr who were just not ready. And K is harder now & more academic(esp. @ public schools) thanks to those God-awful standardized tests. As another mother said, why would you want your child the youngest in the class when she could be the olderst & more mature? The age difference pops up throughout the grade school years but it seems to be the worst at middle school while most of the kids are hitting puberty & your daughter wouldn't be until about a year later. That's such a big issue w/girls. We have friends whose daughter just turned 16 & is a junior in high school. When she was 4 3/4 she was ready academically for school but extremely immature. They sent her anyway, against the suggestions of teachers & she struggled for years w/her maturity vs that of her peers. She always had trouble maintaining friendships, she was still having full-blown kicking & screaming temper tantrums on the floor at 10 yrs old & on top of that, she was always the smallest in her class. My son has a classmate who will just be 7 this month...she's the smallest, the youngest & still sucks her thumb in school....in 2nd grade! So, again, wait, wait wait! It will be to your daughter's benefit.

You truly have to know your child and whether she is prepared not only intelluctually but socailly & emotionally as well! Ask her preschool teacher their recommendation. My daughter started early..this is what I was told they would do--"it would be a disservice to hold her back" She is in the 4th grade now and she has always done well....do I wonder if I should have held her back because she is always one of the youngest--Yes however she would be one of the oldest if she was back a grade. Go with your intuition it is usually right! Good Luck!

I was just asking myself that question this year. I have a son who I decided not to put in Kindergarten. He has Late June Bday, and although he was 5yr. when school started at the end of July, I just felt that he was not ready.

However,It really depends on the child. With my son I spoke with the preschool teachers and asked them what they felt their recommendations were. I felt he was academically ready to go, but not emotionally. I was however, lucky enough that our school district has what is called Pilot-K (Pre-K) but 5 days a week, he goes to the school he will go to Kindergarten at. I put him in there to prepare him, and am so glad that I did.

My stepdaughter, has the same end of Jun Bday and her mom put her in Kindergarten right away. She struggles in school still to this day (She is in the 5th grade)and had to be held back in the 3rd grade.

I really struggled with not sending my son to Kindergarten, I thought that he would get bored with another year of preschool and then kindergarten would be too easy for him, but what changed my mind was that I would rather him have it easy than to struggle his way through school.

Questions to ask: Is your daughter emotionally and academically ready to go. Talk to teachers and staff at the kindergarten that she will be going to. Talk to your daughters preschool teacher and then make your decision. I have friends who put their 4.5 yr. daughters in K and they are doing great.

Again, it really just depends on your daughter, with my 2nd son if I could put him in K at 4.5 I would, b/c he is ready, but he a FEB. Bday and he will be 5.5 when he goes to K.

Good Luck on your decision, I know it is not an easy one as I debated over this for months before I made mine.