When to Start Preschool

Updated on January 23, 2008
M.C. asks from South Plainfield, NJ
7 answers

My son just turned two the end of december and i am not really sure when i need to start him with preschool. Any advise is appreciated. Also, when he starts preschool, can i stay with him?

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H.P.

answers from Rochester on

M. -
Start with your local library. They have story hours and pre-K activities that YOU and your child can participate in. You can 'view' how he handles group situations and interacts with other children/adults. Perks - they are usually free and short in length until he acclimates to class situations; and YOU get to interact with other ‘ADULTS’. Also, many local museums will offer short/small group activities.
BTW - I am a SAHM with our 'sixth' child - some were ready to go to preschool alone before 3 some didn't even want to go to school at 6!!! Every child is different, but you will have to give them ‘space’ to see what they can do, and you will appreciate him/them MORE when you have a few hours to yourself.

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T.A.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
Age 2 is a nice time to introduce your son to a school setting. My belief is if they can talk a bit they can tell you what goes on during the time you are not there. It will develop those much needed social skills. I have learned and professionals also advised that consistency is important since the on and off days can be tough on the child but whatever works for you. If you can send him everyday for 1/2 day until he starts full time that would be best. Although each child is different I found the kids that were going some days and off others had the hardest time at drop off and also socializing with the other kids. Good luck and it's good that you are thinking of this. I have a very good friend that kept her child home until Kindergarten with no siblings around. He was way off the charts on academics when he was ready for Kindergarten since she pushed this but was told he would have to be left back a grade due to the lack of socialization (this was prep school; public school would not be that strict.)

When you choose a place, before you officially start him, take him for visits so he can get used to the faces and the surroundings. We did this and it worked well for us. When you do start to drop him off he will cry and this is normal although it hurts like crazy when you are going through it. It will pass and usually shortly after you leave he will be fine. Just call the caregiver and he/she will probably tell you. It may also help to call and speak to your child after you leave. This also gives reassurance that Mom is closeby. I have tons of tips. My 7 and 4 year old all went through it and they are both doing great. By juggling schedules we kept them both home the first year but had them start at 18 months. We were not able to stretch it until 2 but it worked out. Stay in touch if you'd like.

Take care and good luck.

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D.P.

answers from New York on

Hi. Everyone has different opinions about pre-k. I have 3 children and all went to pre-k at 3 years old. I also stay at home, but I thought it was important by the age of 3 for them to be able to socialize outside the home more. They learned their ABC's and numbers from me, but they have to be able to experience being in a different atmosphere. That is where I thought 3 was a good age. I only sent 2x a week from 9-11:30. Just enough for them to learn to listen to a teacher, share with other kids, learn and have fun being away from home. Then when they turned 4, I increased the amount of days to 3 half days. Schools in my area have full time kindergarten and I would have preferred to send my children 5 days to pre-k but didn't choose to. I at least thought the consistency of going a few days a week would help with adjustment to kindergarten. The full day thing came naturally as all kids had to adjust to that. But for me, 2 years of pre-k help the transition to kindergarten at age 5. Most pre-k's don't allow parents to stay so don't plan for that. Children have a harder time adjusting when parents are there. If you want to be involved with your child, you should consider other programs on the days/times your child does not have school, such as playdates, gymboree, gymnastics, arts and crafts, etc. There are also nice programs at the local libraries or even nature centers. Good Luck.

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K.T.

answers from Albany on

I am a three year old preschool teacher and I have a 4 yr old preschooler. Both of my children did not start preschool till the age of 4 because in fact I did not see the point of it. However since I have acquired this awesome position of teaching 3 yr olds I would actually recommend it. Though preschool story hours are awesome to do (I ran one at our local library for a year) it is not as structured as a preschool morning but tons of fun. For three year olds we are teaching them their colors, shapes, numbers up to 10 and more so really social interaction and being able to break away from mom / dad with out those melt downs. We are structured but with a lot of getting up and moving around. In the beginning of the year we had those kids that latched on to mom and had to be gently pulled away so mom could leave for the 3 hours. But after a couple weeks we had kids crying because they did not want to leave when their parent showed back up to get them. It was a huge turn. I would recommend not staying with your child. He needs that independence away from mom and dad and be able to relate with other adults and children. Just think, my class of three year olds can spell us their names and are starting to write them for us! It is such a wonderful experiance for the kids! Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from New York on

I sent both my kids when they were a little older than 2
They went 2 days a week when they were 2, 3 days when they were 3 and 4 days a week when they were 4. It made the transition to kindergarten very smooth

Good luck!

Jenn Smith
www.stayinhomeandlovinit.com/jennsmith34

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A.J.

answers from Albany on

The answer your second question is no. Preschool is not for parents it is for children. Not only will the child be learning to socialize with other kids, s/he will be learning to thrive without mom & dad. If you are not ready to separate from him or vice versa then find a mommy & me program where you would attend together.

About when to send him, it really depends on 2 things. #1 Is he developmentally ready, and #2 The school's policy. To know if he is developmentally ready you need to assess the following: Is he relatively independent, Can he separate from you easily (without attachment issues), does he have the ability to endure 2 - 3 hours, can he follow routines/directions, Would he be able to follow the routine, sit in circle time, etc.

You need to also find out the school's policies. What age do they begin accepting students? Will he need to be potty trained?

My daughter's first preschool experience accepted students beginning at 2 years 9 months of age. The children did not have to be potty trained. And I knew she could handle the 3 days a week 2.5 hours schedule.

Our current preschool, begins at age 3 but may accept a child a couple months shy of 3 if they are potty trained. It is 2 days a week for 2.5 hours. The child needs to be potty trained or at least on their way - they do not change diapers (Mrs. Jenn correct me if I am wrong :) )

My youngest will be 2 in February and although I am hoping he will be potty trained by September I have no interest in sending him to their 2 day program just yet. Instead I may join the mommy & me group there (upstairs from the classroom) to keep up the routine we have maintained for the past 2 years so that his transition when he is 3 will be smoother.

I hope this helped some.

A.

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S.P.

answers from New York on

Hi M.~
My son who is 4 just recently started preschool. I work nights so I spend most of my days with him. I thought I would have a hard time letting him go but it is a good time to be "me" again. As far as I know you can't actually GO to preschool with him. He only goes Tues and Thurs for two hours so it is easier to get used to him being gone before kindergarten. Good luck!

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