When to Tell Four-year-old That He Is Going to Be a Big Brother + Good Books

My kids found out I was pregnant when I went to see my midwife at 10 weeks. They recently went with me to my appointment to hear the heartbeat.

Bernstein bears have a baby book, as does the LIttle Critter series. My kids love those books.

I would tell him when you're ready to tell everyone else, because you cannot expect him to keep it to himself.

The two books we got to help our daughter with her baby sister were "The New Baby" by Cyndy Szekeres (the former baby feels displaced, but learns that there are things he can do now that he's a big brother... and he's still small enough for sitting on Mama's lap and getting hugs and all of that) and The Berenstain Bears New Baby (focus is on Brother Bear getting a new bigger bed because the new baby will be taking his old, small bed).

Also, the best advice we ever received about introducing a new baby to an older sibling is this:
*Do NOT talk about how lucky the big brother/sister is; talk about how lucky the baby is to have such a wonderful big brother. The baby may actually seem like the other woman. He or she will be smaller, younger, cuter and more needy (which translates to more interesting). Instead, talk up being four and talk down being a baby. "You are really good at getting dressed! Babies can't dress themselves. They can't even help! But you can do it all by yourself because you're four!" Start as soon as you tell him and it will be a well-established habit by the time the baby is here.
*Prior to baby's arrival, have your son make a card. If you give birth in a hospital without your son around, make sure that card is in the bassinet WITH the baby when your son comes to visit you. (My husband called as they parked to be sure I wasn't nursing.) Make a big deal about how much you have missed him. Follow his lead on meeting the baby. (I was surprised that our older daughter took about 10 minutes before she was interested in meeting her baby sister, and then that she didn't want to touch her or kiss her.) When they do meet, make a big deal about how much the baby loves that card he made.

My dad's wife accompanied my husband and older daughter to the hospital to meet the baby. She made sure Madelyn had snacks and a drink, and we had packed some stickers and paper. However, Grandma also knew to go to the nurse's station, where she picked up a little coloring book about the new baby and some crayons. It would have never occured to me to ask.

Best wishes and a healthy and happy nine months to you!

I don't know of any books but most hospitals have a sibling class. My best advice is to involve him every step of the way. From feeling the baby move in your tummy, to telling him how glad you are that he is going to be the big brother, to finding special times together (even after baby is born) and tell him how you are glad he is old enough to have those special times, to helping pick out baby's clothes (select two outfits and let him pick which sibling will wear that day). That helped a lot with mine! Also, have him bring you stuff like diapers or whatever you need. He knows he'll have a new role in the family so help him ease into it. Blessings on your new little one and on your family :)

My son was the first person I told...then he told my husband lol...

I suggest that you may want to wait awhile longer. A four year old has no concept of time and will be anxious for that baby to arrive all too soon. If others already know and are talking about it then you probably should tell him.

I would definitely tell him now; especially since he's asking questions and he already "knows"!!

I remember when I was pregnant with my second - my son was three and he was thrilled he was going to be a big brother. He would talk to my tummy all the time and press his ear against it to try and hear the baby. So cute!! He was - and still is - a wonderful big brother to his little sister!!

Good luck with everything!!

If he is asking you, you need to tell him. And don't expect him to keep a secret. You might want to tell your parents (and DH his) first so they don't hear it from your son.

This is about the right time...the 12 week time. You don't want to risk having him hear it from someone else.

Just involve him in the pregnancy and possibly the birth as much as you can. We told our oldest when he was 2.5 yo that we were 4 weeks pregnant and his response was, "duh!" Sounds like your son is smart/intuitive that he already knows. Tell him the truth. If he's asking you, not telling him, is a lie of omission. Don't wait.

All of our kids were present at each sibling's birth and we have absolutely no sibling rivalry and fights rarely occur between them. Our oldest has cut the cords of all of our kids. He was 3, 5, and 9 when he cut their cords. I don't leave and go to the hospital only to return with a baby in my arms, like I am replacing him/her. They are with me through the entire labor (unless it's midnight) and then we wake them up just before the birth. They watch the baby emerge from my body so that they fully understand it.

The books are going to depend on how much you want to tell him. Our son asked us "how does the baby get in the uterus," when he was 3. I told him that it's like growing sunflowers - mommy has a seed and daddy waters it. That was good enough. When he was 5, he wanted ALL of the details, so I told him. I don't have to worry about him getting some nasty rendition from his friends.