When to Try Again After Miscarriage?

Updated on May 20, 2009
J.B. asks from Sussex, WI
25 answers

I was very excited to find out in January that I was pregnant only to miscarry a few days later. I feel emotionally ready to try again, however my doctor told me to wait 3 whole months from the time my miscarriage was complete before trying again. Does anyone have any advice on how to be patient during this time?

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So What Happened?

Thank you for your advice. We are finally going to start trying again at the end of this month!

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A.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

My sister just suffered a miscarriage and her fertility specialist told her it was ok to start trying right away as you are more fertile. He also told them that waiting 3 months was outdated advice. Do what feels right for you.

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J.C.

answers from Madison on

After my miscarriage my doctor said to wait a few months and I asked why. He couldn't really give me an answer and said it really didn't matter and I coudl really try again whenever I felt ready. I was 12 weeks when I miscarried, so. I start TTC again right away. It took 4 months for me but I think I know why and it has nothing to do with fertility. I had joined a support group for people trying to conceive again after a loss, and I would say a fifth of the women got pregnant again with in 3 months, and half were pregnant again by 6 months. Now 2 years later 90% are pregnant again or have had babies. We have a thoery about "preheated ovens" being the best for growing babies again. i think where it sounds like you weren't too far into a pregnancy when you miscarried, you could start trying to get pregnant again whenever you want. I have never read any reasons for waiting, and I read anything and everythign I could get my hands on. If you lost a baby at 20 weeks, thats one thing. But before the second trimester, i think you can safely go ahead and get pregnant again whenever. You are often more fertile in the first few months after a miscarriage in a lot of cases.

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A.H.

answers from Rochester on

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a loss last year. It was the worst thing I have ever had to deal with.

Your best bet is to occupy your time with something that needs your attention that you might have put on hold while pregnant. If you need to lose any weight you can work on that. If you just want to get more toned or increase your stamina you could start a work out routine or change the one you have now. Do you need to improve the way you eat before getting pregnant? (I had a huge junk food binge after my loss.) You can work on changing your diet now so it won't be a huge change when you do get pregnant again. Is there anything in your house that needs doing? Some major spring cleaning or remodeling or just redecorating. Is there a class you want to take or some where you would like to volunteer? Find something that will make you happy and feel better about yourself and the wait until TTC again. Good luck! I hope you can find something to keep yourself busy. Again I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you will have a happy healthy baby in your arms soon.

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L.W.

answers from La Crosse on

J.,

You don't HAVE to wait three months. It is recommended to wait to give your body time to recouperate; however, it doesn't always work that way. I had a misacarriage in late April of 2005 at 8-9 weeks. We had decided that I should have one regular cycle before going back on birth control, we weren't going to try again (we already had 3 boys). I found out in early July that I was pregnant. We have a very happy and healthy FOURTH son! It was only 2 months since the miscarriage. Doctors also recommend that you don't get pregnant again for at least 6 months after having a baby - things don't always work that way either. I wouldn't wait. What is meant to be will happen. Odds of having a miscarriage are 1 in every 4 pregnancies.

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S.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

I miscarried my first pregnancy at 11 weeks and had to wait the 3 months as well to try again. But when trying for #3, I miscarried only a few days later, called a chemical pregnancy, and my overprotective doctor told me to only wait one cycle to try again. I'm unsure how long you were pregnant, but I think that would be a factor as to when you can try again. The longer you are pregnant I think the longer it would take your body to recover.

I'm sorry for your loss and I wish you nothing but the best in the future!

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M.I.

answers from Duluth on

well, in all honesty, its more about just bein careful. your body has to recover in order to be healthy enough to get pregnant again. chances are even if you tried your hardest, you wont get pregnant before the 3 month mark. after my miscarriage, we didnt not try, but we did not get pregnant until 3 months after almost exactly. i wuold think that if you got pregnant too soo after a miscarriage, the chances of having another miscarriage would be higher than if you waited.

soooo basically, just use condoms or whatever and have fun with it. for guys, if you are trying to get pregnant, sex can get to be like a job and less like the passionate thing it should be - so take this time just to enjoy sex instead of having it be for the purpose :D who knows. you might eventually get pregnant and instead of having sex with the pressure of trying to get pregnant, it can be having sex because its pleasurable and uniting for you and your husband to do so.... and what a better way to get pregnant - out of love and passion and not just the process.

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G.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi J.- I know you have received a lot of advice but I thought I would add my experiences to the list! I had my first miscarriage at 12 weeks. I went in for my 1st appt and the embryo had dissolved but the placenta kept growing. I had a D&C. I decided that I wanted to be in better shape and lose weight before becoming pregnant again. I trained for a 10 mile race and then started trying about a month before the race to get pregnant again ( I didn't want to miss the race...!). It had been about 8 months since my m/c. The race seemed harder than it should have been so I went home and took a test...POSITIVE! My daughter is now almost 3!

My second miscarriage was a spontaneous, natural m/c at about 5 weeks. We were told to wait 2 cycles, but OOPS, I was pregnant again before I had a cycle at all. My son is perfectly healthy and will be 1 in May!

I believe that unless there are some other identified health issues, the right time to start trying again is when you feel emotionally ready! Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from Milwaukee on

I agree with everyone else. After my miscarriages, the doctor told me to just wait until I got my next period. Good luck. I know it's hard. It just sometimes happens. I never needed any hormone treatment or anything. Since my two miscarriages, I've had two very healthy babies and I got pregnant with them both very easy.

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A.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi J.,

I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I unfortunately had two miscarriages before I sucsessfully became pregnant and now have a beautiful baby girl. Even though miscarriages are very common, they are very different for everyone and everyone should handle it how they feel is best for them. Work with your healthcare provider on this and if you feel you are not getting the answers you like, get a second professional opinion. My doctor was what got me through my difficult times and in the end was my hero for delivering my beautiful baby. The relationship between you and your Doc is very important when it comes to having a baby. I wish you the very best :)

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K.C.

answers from Eau Claire on

I had a miscarriage a little over a year ago and I know it is very hard to wait especially if you were trying for the baby. I had to have a D&C which was definitely not fun. My doctor told me to wait only until after one full cycle before we could try again. It was very hard to be patient but I found that talking to other people who have gone through the samething helped and also knowing that waiting would reduced the risk of having another one because your body would be back to where it needs to be to take care of the baby helped me.

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M.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm not sure how to answer your question but to see if you can get another opinion as to when to try. If you miscarried in January does that mean you get to try the April cycle?

I can tell you that I miscarried Oct. 2003 and the very next cycle I tried again and conceived my oldest November 2003. I was about 5 weeks along when I miscarried. Maybe it depends on how far along you were and the doctor wanting you to try in three months but I don't see why you can't try each month and see what happens.

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D.W.

answers from Madison on

I had a miscarriage in January of 08 (at about eight weeks). We got pregnant in March of 08 and our daughter was born in Dec. of 08. She is a healthy and happy almost four month old.

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A.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

I am sorry to hear about your loss, although you probably have found it is a lot more common than people think. I had a m/c with d&c in November at 8wks, hardest time of my life I would say. My OB recommended 1 cycle waiting but 2 was even better. I am now 12 wks along and all is perfect, except I was super nervous this time. Did you have natural or d&c? How early were you? I think 3 mo is kinda long but it depends on the situation. There are a lot of support boards you can search for on the net and they ask all kinds of these questions and support each other in waiting or trying or whatever. The one I can think of is at babycenter.com. It helped me to see I was not alone, no matter what stage I was in. I would just try and relax, reduce stress, eat healthy (I'm terrible at that sometimes), and try not to think about it too much (impossible I know). Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

I'm sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is a very hard thing to go through. You rarely find out why and you will always think about your baby that you never got to hold....

There is no need to wait if you are emotionally ready.

I've suffered through 3 miscarriages total this far. (We have 2 great kids ages 4 and 21 months.) Our first pregnancy was a miscarriage. Then we had our daughter. After her we had 2 more miscarriages before having our son. We started trying immediately after each miscarriage.

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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

J.,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. That is a very hard thing to go through. I took a home test the day after Christmas and got a positive - two days later I miscarried. I was so early in the pregnancy that I didn't even call my doc. Probably bad on my part - but I really wanted a baby and didn't want to be told to wait. We kept trying and I got pregnant again right away. I never even had another cycle. It was a little hard because we couldn't really get an accurate date of conception so my due date kept changing. If you really don't want to wait - I would call the doctor and ask for a specific reason why you need to wait. Tell him/her how you feel. You will get to know your doctor pretty well - you should make sure that it is someone that you trust and can be honest with. Good Luck!

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S.E.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi J., I completely understand as to how you feel. I had a miscarriage the fall of 2006. Before that, I was taking home pregnancy tests for months. So when I found out, I was over excited. I was told the same thing, wait a couple months. But personally, when you are ready, you are ready. Now I have a beautiful 4 month old baby girl. Took 3 years but we hung in there.

Good luck! S.

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M.Z.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi J.-

I had two miscarriages one before my daughter in January of 2006 and we waited one cycle with her and got pregnant in March with her. My last miscarriage was in August of 2008 and we waited one cycle and became pregnant in September. So we are expecting our new little bundle in June. I know how hard it is to wait, especially after a huge loss. But you need to do what is right for you, if you are ready then you should start trying again. My doctor told me the reason why they have you wait one month is so they are able to tell when one pregnancy has ended before the next one starts. I wish you the best of luck, M.

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J.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

I was also told the same thing after mine, but my sister-in-law was told that the only reason they should wait is to grieve. They tried right away and were pregnant within the next 2 weeks, so I say if you are ready go ahead!!

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K.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. My doc said to wait one cycle and we figured that it would take a while anyway. Well, I never did get my period and was pregnant with a boy! However, I did need to go on a hormone to help me hold the pregnancy for the first trimester. So I guess I'm saying that they didn't make a big deal of it but I would wait until you have at least one cycle. Maybe for the next month or two just don't avoid being pregnant? I'm sure other moms would disagree. Good Luck!

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had 2 miscarriages. The first one I had a D&C so I was able to start trying again pretty soon afterwards because they removed everything with the surgery. The second one I miscarried naturally and had to get blood tests taken until they could make sure everything had passed, based on when my hormone levels came down. It probably did take 2 to 3 months.

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K.S.

answers from Rochester on

I miscarried @ 12 weeks last year and was told that I really only needed to wait 1 cycle, although most doctors would recommend 3-per my doc. I ended up not getting pregnant immediately and now am happy about that. I think during the first 2-3 months after miscarriage I was doing ok emotionally, but then the miscarriage really sunk in and I needed time to deal with it (although everyone is different, this is my experience). I'm still not pregnant yet, but am looking forward to trying now that my body and heart has healed. Best of luck for future babies!

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L.C.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi, J.!

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I also had a miscarriage in December. The embryo stopped growing during the 7th week. You didn't mention how far along you were. My doctor told me to at least have one regular cycle before trying again. We are still trying now. It's difficult to wait, but you just need to try and occupy yourself with something else. Besides that, it's not good for conception if you are so focussed on it. Do the best you can to focus on another project. Time flies by - it'll be here before you know it.

Good luck!

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I tried immediately after miscarriage. Your body is ready to go and ready to be pregnant so I just tried again. I was determined to have a baby. Worked for me. Instead concentrating on the miscarriage I concentrated on having a baby, one I could actually hold and have to keep. I was blessed and got pregnant right away and was able to carry that baby to term.

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S.R.

answers from Davenport on

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Why do you have to wait 3 months? I have never heard of that. When I lost my baby boy I was told I could try again in a week because it was easier to get pregnant again. It's easier said than done. You have to look at it as doctors orders and follow through. Keep your head up. I was depressed after mine.

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L.G.

answers from Appleton on

Hi-
I too am sorry to hear about your miscarriage. When I had a mis, it was comforting to know that so mnay other women had gone through it too, and ended up having as many happy, heathly children as they wanted. My doc said I could try any time after I was done with the mis. (no more bleeding) He said that recomending waiting 3 months is kinda old school so that your perios was back on track and they could better calculate your due date. Now with being able to do the crown/rump measurement as early as 6 weeks...they can determine your due date that way. We tried 1x 2 months after we had a mis, and I was prego with my 2 year old boy and had a very healthy pregnancy.
Good luck to you!
L.

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