When Will Our House Ever Be Clean?

never did.
now that they're grown and gone i have to find other excuses for the dust bunnies.
;) khairete
S.

When they leave for college.

The most fun moms have messy homes.
That is what we all tell each other.

I seriously focus only on one room when life is hectic. I keep that one room clean and I feel OK. I picked the dining room because it is visible from where we hang out in the living room. And its the room the kids least go in and mess up (other than meals). If my dining room looks good, I feel I have kept up a little bit.

It's like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it, isn't it? LOL

Worry about clean, not so much messy.

I read once "A Perfect House is a Sign of a Wasted Life". Kids are more important. I DO understand your frustration, but try to sit back and look at it through different eyes. Don't be too hard on yourself! You are a mom with 4 young kids. Keeping them safe, happy and fed is a HUGE job in itself! :)

In short, you don't. Lower your standards and know that in 18 years, you'll miss the mess.

Flylady has a great system for staying on top of the basics so that you can maintain at least a basic level of sanitation and organization.

And Gamma G that "if you worked outside the home your home would almost always be clean" is the the funniest thing I've read in ages, so thank you. And no, working outside the home is not the ticket to cleanliness - once everyone comes home at the end of the day the backpacks, school papers, laundry, dishes and toys pile up very quickly only the parents working outside the home has even less time to pick up. So it's just as bad as being at home, trust me. Thanks for the laugh though!

Never. Just when you get them out and married they show up with grandchildren lol. My house now looks like Babies R Us and Toys R Us.! Would not have it any other way. The house will always be there. Do the best you can.

Basically, until your children go to overnight camp, you are in damage control mode. Once they go to overnight camp, you'll have one week a year that you get your house back.
Once they go off to college, your house will stay clean until 3.5 seconds after they get home for break.
I know this.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel...

Research shows that the happiest people are people with a cleaning person. Mine only cost $65 every other week and it is the best thing for our entire family. The main thing about it is that it forces us to pick it all up and be neat because we are "paying" her and she can not clean and vacuum etc unless we keep it picked up and put away.
Women feel guilty about it but shouldn't. Men get the help they need either paying money for recreational hobbies that they want / need golf, hunting fishing etc or pay for lawn services or other help they need why are women so afraid to ask for the help they need.
Check into it. Ask friends for references. I think you will find it affordable and keep trying until you get someone that fits with your family's needs and do not apologize for it. With all those kids and working you need it.

Ha ha ha!
Sorry, I was just thinking maybe my best bet would be to burn the darn house down and start over. Not really, but yikes it is a disaster. And we cleaned the house on Friday, left town all weekend and have only been home since last night. How can it get that gross in such a short amount of time?!
I work from home, too, 3 kids 10, 8 and 5. They do a lot of chores. But they get out a lot of stuff and they eat a lot and besides that there is just maintenance like dust and yardwork that have to be taken care of even if you are a tidy person!
The only way we catch up is if EVERYONE works together at the same time. Like if we block off an hour and power clean. It never works if it is just me cleaning.
My only advice would be-
Worry about it less
Clean up when guests coming, for the most part
Team work
Realize we are all in the same boat
Realize it will get better only when kids are no longer at home
Get a maid if you can afford it
:)

Just focus on one room a day, give that room a good cleaning. After a month of this things will seem more tidy. Also just want to say it took almost 26 years for my house to stay clean all but one child left at home now. God bless you and just enjoy your kids for now, there will be time for order later.

My children have chores that they are to do on top of helping me clean whenever I ask. My children are 9 & 6. A schedule and routine are a must for everyone. My home is lived-in and never 100% clean but things are always picked up. I don't believe that you can ever have a perfectly clean home with children unless you want to miss out on life.

Most parts of my house are clean, once a week. Never all at the same time.

And mine are 18 and 22!

Well, it might be helpful to re-define "clean" for the time being. Maybe "clean" should mean "just neat enough for safety and just sanitary enough for health." And give a lot of leeway for that.

Can you get somebody to help you for a while? Is there an energetic high school girl willing to earn a little money by coming over for a couple of hours a couple of times per week to do some of the housework, so you can make a little more progress, and sometimes have a little more time for yourself and your children? You could check at your local high school office.

I second the motion about Flylady. You can get some life-saving tips there.

It takes a lot of time and patience, but you need to teach your kids to clean up and put things away. They will not do it perfectly, but that's not the lesson you are teaching them. It is taking pride in cleaning up after yourself, respecting other family members, and contributing to the family life. It will take more time than you want in the beginning, but it will be well worth it.

Some kids just need things labeled so they know where it goes. Other kids are organized themselves and will have their own idea of putting things away. Work with each child according to their personality.

Make it a fun thing to get organized. Take pictures of the before and after. Post the pictures of a job well done so that your children see that it is worthy of pride.

Go to the dollar store to get things for organizing. Let the kids pick out what they like so they will be more likely to use it.

When my kids were little, I put my plates, cups, etc. on the lower shelves of the pantry so my kids could unload the dishwasher. Food went where most people put their dishes. While they were putting dishes away, I was able to get something else done.

Get up 30 min. earlier than you usually do. You won't miss that sleep as you are probably tired anyway. Do one load of washing clothes before you go to bed each night. Do one load of dryinig first thing in the morning (when everyone is awake, if the noise will wake everyone). Do the dishes as they are dirtied - my greatest challenge. (These 3 things are my favorite hints from tidytutor.com.)

Don't focus on whether you are going forward or backward. Focus on what blessings you have. One organizer, Lorie Marrero, always ends her little organizing videos (youtube) with "May you always be happy and grateful for having more than enough." She is also a big supporter of donating to Goodwill. As another poster said, get rid of the excess.

If I wanted a house that was always clean, I wouldn't have had children. That said, it's an ongoing process to teach them to clean up after themselves and each other as part of earning their keep in the home. Being part of a family means they have responsibilities and duties the same as anyone else as long as they're capable.

If you're taking time out of your work day to clean, feed the children, and deal with other issues then you need a solution for that. Have you considered hiring someone to watch the children during their most restless hours and to help them tidy up? Help feed them? Get them napped and bathed? To the park? Etc

My son cleans his room and bathroom. And helps with trash. My 18m old likes putting her toys away, and then taking them all out! But hey she's learning. And she loves to help vacuum! Find things your kids can do and have them help. I've found when my son has to clean something he's less likely to make a mess in that area.

I really think you should hire someone, because it is not just your home, it's also your "office".

You deserve to be able to work in a clean environment. If hiring someone sounds luxurious, give that "gift" to yourself"!! "Can't function with all the mess" - that's the limit. Get a recommendation from a friend for a good cleaner.

(Also, depending on what kind of work you do - you might be able to get your company to chip in...part of the cost of supporting a home office...same way they hire cleaners for a company building.)

You make a daily routine schedule and stick to it. Break down all the jobs and do them in the morning and afternoon. It will be hard in the beginning to stick to it but it will get better and you will be able to maintain your home without help.

The only way your home is going to "ever be clean", is when they are grown and leave home.

Don't over think it just do what you can.

the other S.

I figure my house will be clean when all my kids leave! I am a stay at home mom, home school my 3 and my husband works from home so we are in the house all the time. Things stay clean when we are gone for the day if they started that way before we left. We go on binges and clean stuff up (moving furniture to vaccum behind it and all) together only to have it look like we did nothing a couple days later. We have 4 cats too which add to the chaos. We keep things sanitary but the clutter is forever.

Clean one room. Hide in it. Pretend like the rest of the house is clean. Not that I've ever done that before or anything.... :)

Place attractive baskets strategically around your home into which you can easily throw any toys that are nearby. set yourself a few key tasks which will help you feel better. I think this should include making the beds. Have some flushable wet wipes in the bathroom and toilet to wipe any marks away quickly and easily from counters and toilets. After the children are in bed have a quick tidy-up so you have some relaxing time in the evenings. Make sure you use machinery to help - get a dishwasher, and a robotic vacuum cleaner.

I don't.
There, I said it!
I am a SAHM and during the summer my house is always a mess. I have let it be known that if people come over I can only guarantee a clean bathroom. And even then, it's only if people give me warning that they are coming! If they just show up, oh well!
That's not to say that things don't get done, they do. But, never to what it looks like during the school year when my two older boys are at school. (they are almost 11 and 8) My toddler is able to mess stuff up pretty quickly though. Just like you were saying, I clean one area and move on to the next, and the first area is dirty!! ARGH!
So, the laundry gets done, the dishes get done, the kids help pick up, and my house constantly looks like nothing has been done. Sigh.
L.

I can't speak to yours, but ours is, nearly all the time.

About us. Hubs and I both work full time, we have a nearly 3 year old, our apartment is a Jr-4 and only 900 sq feet. We don't have any outdoor space to maintain.

How do we do it?
1. hubs and I are very tidy.
2. our DS is still very much about cleaning up after himself, and loves to lend a hand. he wipes down the sink after brushing his teeth, wipes the tub after bathing, sponges the kitchen table after meals and likes the dust pan and brush.
3. we have a robotic vacuum and mop.
4. we use cleaners every so often when we catch a deal via groupon. (using one today, I bought a bundle of three 2 hour cleaning sessions for $100).
5. we do one "cleaning job a day" and rotate through them. if everything is already tidy and put away, and there is a baseline of clean in the house, it really takes no time to then, wipe down all the surfaces in the bedroom on a monday, or on tuesday, give a deep clean to a kitchen cupboard, or on weds scrub the grout in the bathroom, we do each pick a job that might need doing, and then spend 5 minutes doing it. everything gets gotten to eventually.
6. we purge regularly, less underfoot, less to clean, less to maintain.
7. we get out of the house. (if you aren't here, you can't make it dirty).
8. we have a dishwasher.
9. we have a communal laundry room where we can use up to 4 jumbo machines at once. laundry gets done once a week.
10. we only cook once or twice a week, in large batches then eat leftovers, no kitchen prep, little kitchen clean up, no daily handwashing of pots and pans.
11. we only shop once a week, no need to put stuff away, re-jig the fridge etc.

Our kid doesn't have outside commitments of his own, save for the occassional b-day party.

We count ourselves as very lucky that we both tend towards neat and towards clean. See if any of what I suggested might work for you.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

I completely understand where your coming from! Especially when I would babysit my house stayed a constant mess. I would take care of other things, like dishes and laundry while the rest of the house got pretty much destroyed. We have changed our scheduled around, we have set times when we do chores, as needed chores are done throughout the day, like laundry, and during the rest of the day we just maintain by cleaning up things right after we are done. Like cleaning the kitchen right after lunch, putting up school books when we are done, putting up toys when they are done playing or wanting to play with a different toy.

Your kids may be old enough to start helping your out. Try KEEP YOUR SANITY: TEACH THEM TO CLEAN. I think it will have some great ideas for you to make things seem more manageable.

I don't. I work at home also, and as soon as I clean it up, turn around and it is a mess again. I think it is hard for others to understand that not only am I home with the kids, but I am working, so I can't take the time to clean while I work. Then if it gets too out of hand it is impossible to get through. Maybe one day it will get clean.

It will be clean either when your kids move out or they are ALL old enough for chores.

Just wait, they will get older and really help. It's fabulous! My kids (10 and 7) did all of the hand washing dishes today, folded the towels, sorted their laundry, cleaned their rooms and no one really whined too much! It does get easier.

I remember when mine were little and the babysitter once told me that my house got even messier each time I had a kid. It's true. I tried my best, but it's only been recently that I've been able to keep up pretty well. Cut yourself some slack start giving them things to do to help you and try flylady.net for the rest.

It'll finally be clean when the last child leaves for college.
So don't hold your breath - it ain't happening anytime soon .

Have two baskets in each room - one for toys, and one for everything else. Twice a day, load up the baskets and then get the 7 and 5 year olds to help you put those things away into the rooms they belong in. Sing the Barney "Clean up" song with them while they do it.

I heartily recommend that you get a cleaning lady to come in at least every two weeks to do the harder cleaning. Mopping, vacuuming, bathrooms, etc is a great way to make it through your weeks and feel better about everything. Once a month, at least, dump the frig. It's really important to do that - you'll feel a ton better if you have.

If you can get a mother's helper to come in, that's time that you can actually work with your two oldest to teach them some basic chores. With four kids, you cannot afford to allow them to just make you the "mommy maid". You need to expect them to learn how to clean too.

Good luck!

This is the joy of staying home with kids. If you worked outside of the home your house would almost always be clean. No one home to make messes keeps it like it was when you left that morning. If it was cleaned on the weekend usually by the following Friday it's time to do laundry, vacuum, dust, sweep and mop.

All I can say is I'd be looking forward to school starting in a few weeks so you can clean house and put the younger kiddos in a room for a nap so you can have a totally quiet house for a couple of hours each day....lol.

Well i have my young kids help me.I then just clean.But it still looks dirty.So i clean every day

You train them, and get help.

There is a difference between clean and messy. Messy is toys etc strewn all over a clean floor. This is usually a quick fix and can be picked up in less than 15 minutes. Teach the kids to only play in one area of the house and not to bring toys into the other parts of the house.

Dirty or unclean is dust and dirt all over the place and not vacuumed up.

I realized a long time ago no matter how hard you try you are never done. You can have all the laundry washed dried and folded and the minute you start to get ready for bed --- there's more dirty clothes. Dishes done? --- Never, as soon as you get a drink of water you have a new dirty dish. The trick is to learn to relax and not let it get to you. As long as you know that you just cleaned and under the 'kid mess' is a clean ---- no one else's opinion matters.

I don't know, they are all grown up. One moved out and one still lives with us.

I have 5 all under 7. I could have written your post. It's never clean and perfect. And I try, try, try. But I'm always moving and not sitting at least.
So when will it be clean??? In years.

That said, my peace of mind is better when it's neat. I stay at home and work on the house hours a day. That keeps it pretty nice but NOT perfect. I am always cleaning. The kids just play but I am not very involved due to the cleaning. You can't win. There is no good balance. I clean mess after mess, nonstop. I try to have them in full day pre-k though. And always camps all summer long.

To say just let it go does not work. Husband needs clean clothes for work. We need to be able to WALK through a room of toys. My efforts keep it livable but it's a lot of work. When it's messy we're all grumpy. Clutter gets to you.

Sigh. You'd never know my floors were totally cleaned yesterday. They are filthy. So after hand washing the dinning room yesterday, I get to do it again tonight. It's that dirty..my steam mop won't be able to do the job.....

My kids pick up their own messes. I have to help the 3 year old, but they are getting better about picking up one thing before they take out another. One day I dumped two toy bins when they were cleaning up. They were whining about me having to help, etc. and I was sick of it. So I dumped the toys and told them to either pick them up or I'll pick them up and out them in TO. They've been cleaning up their messes much better now.

I fly lady...i spend 30minutes after each meal cleaning. House isn't company ready, but friends can stop by and it's mostly clean.

Now, my baby is only 6 months. Talk to me in 5 months when she is pulling everything down and destroying everything in her path. Toddlers are soooo much work.

Teach kids to age-appropriately pick up after themselves & hire a cleaning person.

Get your kids to help out, the 7 and 5 year old can do alot to help (dust, vacumn, wipe down tables, the bathroom, fold laundry, etc). I keep a tub of wipes around to have my son wipe help out with whatever. Each night toys are put away, dishes done, bathroom/kitchen picked up. Once a week we go through all the piles of stuff that have accumlated through the week (which normally takes an hour or less with husband and son helping). Check out the Fly Lady's Website. She give some good tips on keeping a house organized and picked up without being overwhelmed.