When You Can't/don't Want to Get Your Kid the ONLY Thing He Wants for Christmas

I would tell him it's not coming and to pick something else. If it's not doable for you, then it's not doable. He will understand when he's older. But don't let him go to bed on Christmas Eve thinking he may wake up to getting one.

Maybe send him a note from Santa before Christmas explaining that he read his Christmas list and that item is for older kids. Have the note ask him to write back with some other things he wants.

You need to tell him now that he is not getting it. Then let him deal with the disappointment and decide what he does want. Clearly Santa consults with parents before bringing gifts (way more so than in laws do). My son has never asked for electronics because he knows he is not getting them. He has not ever really wanted something else he couldn't have (other than a puppy and that was pretty straight forward).

I had Santa write my son a letter and explain that he only gives that particular gift to older children because they are very difficult to make and very easy to break and that Santa wanted him to be able to play with his toys for a long, long time. Then I had Santa enclose a toy catalog and ask my son to circle 7 other things he would like, instead and mail it back to him.

It worked. He was a little disappointed at first but not as much as he would have been if he had no clue he wasn't getting it until it wasn't under the tree. Plus he had fun going through the catalog. After "window shopping" he got really excited.

In lieu of a catalog you could take him to a toy store and have him help you snap pictures with your phone and send a picture text to Santa at the North Pole. You can rename anyone in your contacts list Santa that you want.

Tell him ahead of time that he's not getting it.

Santa is not an omnipotent force in our house, only some gifts are from him, and I have veto power over anything on the wish list. Santa will not bring a gift that we don't agree with, and Santa has a limited budget because he has to provide so much to so many.

My kids' wish lists always include ridiculous things that they're never getting. We have a good laugh over them, firmly tell them that these items are not happening, and move on.

Simply tell him that nintendo DS' are for kids over age 8 and he has to choose something else. Santa only brings age appropriate gifts (which is why you never see Santa bringing kids 50-inch flat screens with surround sound). He might sulk, but it's better that he knows it now than on Christmas morning.

Tell him NOW he's not getting it. That's life. Even at four he needs to understand you can't have everything you want. Tell him to think of something else.
My youngest has always had this issue. Having two older siblings who seem to get "everything" before she does (cell phone, ipod, computer, you name it.) And I tell her yes, they do, they are older and have been around longer!
At 14 she wants me to take her out to...practice driving!!! She can't stand it that her brother and sister are driving and she's not.
Younger ones are often impatient, the DS is likely just the first of many things he will want sooner rather than later.

Same thing happened with us last year. My daughter wanted an Ipad and there was no way she was getting it. I just told her that there are a lot of kids who want toys this year and he can't bring them to everyone. I told her to make sure she had a lot of different things on her list or she may not get anything.

We were able to do the Kindle Fire for a great deal for her instead. 2 weeks ago she finally realized Santa is not real and when she asked me "She said so that means you and dad got me the Kindle Fire?" When I said yes she gave me a huge hug and said thank you mom, that was so great.

We have explained to our kiddos that Santa will not bring anything that we (Mommy and Daddy) disagree with. When our son wanted a trampoline, we simply told him we did not think it was a safe toy for our family and he needed to think of some other things he would enjoy. He may have complained for a half a second, but he quickly got over it and thought of other items he wanted to add to the wish list. He wasn't disappointed in the slightest.

ETA: at least he isn't asking for a pet Horse!

You just explain to him, that that is for older kids.
Not his age.
That is what we do with my son, who is 4 years younger than his sister.
We talk about age, appropriateness etc. as a way to not, get things etc. like in your situation.
And that "Santa" heeds to the child's parents. (wink), if that comes up.

Your son wants what his older brother has.
Like most kids.

What else can you get him, as an alternative to the Nintendo 3DS?

Or what about a "family" tech gift, like a Wii U?
Don't know the exact cost of that, though.
And then you can get him, a game that he likes.
To go with it.

Don't wait for Christmas morning for him to find out, tell him he is not getting it. Every time he mentions it remind him that he is 4 years old.

You need to tell him now to pick something else, that Santa won't be bringing it. 3DSs are not recommended for children under 7 because of the 3D component - my kids both have them and only got them this year (11 and 9). I would be absolutely blunt with him that Santa won't bring it to him and he needs to think up something else.

Tell him he is too young and ask him what his second choice is.

We taught the kids from day 1 that a Santa Wish List is just that, a wish list, not a guarantee list. It's a list of ideas and suggestions of things that have caught their eyes.
They know that in the end Santa will pick what he knows to be the perfect gift, using the list as a guideline. He does his best to pick the things he knows will be the most enjoyed and special and tries to come up with surprises along the way. I still remember the year one of my boys put something that he saw on a cartoon that doesn't even exist.
We've also taught them that commercials are going to lie to make you want something because they want to make money.
It's hard but just keep explaining that he is not old enough to have one and that Santa doesn't break house rules by giving presents that aren't allowed by the parents.

(edit: Oh my..I just fixed a few really odd typos. This is what happens when you haven't finished your coffee yet LOL)

When my daughter was little, she wanted something that I had already told her No to. I took her to see Santa at the mall and she asked him for it. I was standing behind her, in front of Santa, and shook my head No. He told her, "Santa knows that your mommy has already said you can't have it, so I can't bring it. What else would you like that is okay with your mommy for you to have?"

You could always use Santa as a cop out. "Santa only gives those to kids 8 or older. And we agree--too expensive/too much responsibility until you're 8. What's your next wish?"

You need to tell him NOW he's not getting it. PERIOD. He won't one until he's 8 - just like his brother.

If he doesn't like the DS Lite? He give it to someone less fortunate who will appreciate it.

I'm not sure I've been in this boat. There are things they have wanted that I don't agree with - but my boys are 11 & 13 and want XBOX games. The ONLY game they will NEVER get from me is Grand Theft Auto - if someone bought it for them? I would return it. They KNOW this. When they are adults and living on their own? they can buy the game. Otherwise? NOT HAPPENING under my watch.

Please tell him NOW that DS 3D is NOT an option until he's 8. Find something else.

Good luck!

We've told our daughter that she can ask Santa for whatever she wants, but if she asks him for something she knows we will/have said no to (a puppy, for example) we have the power to tell Santa whether or not he can bring it. Since we've told her repeatedly she can't have a puppy (my husband is still grieving the dog he lost last year and doesn't want another yet) she changed her mind from saying she was going to ask Santa for a puppy to she's going to ask Santa for Twilight Sparkle. She's 6, but I think it would work with a 4 year old, too. And that way he knows in advance that he's not getting that from Santa and hopefully has found something else to ask for.

My 4 and 6 year old daughters want turquiose and magenta snowmobiles! And my 6 year old daughter wants a REAL minion! How about that? lol!
I told them that a minion would be sad at our house without his friends and that mommy gets a snowmobile first.
But, seriously. I would tell your son that it is only fair that he has to wait until he is 8 just like his older brother had to wait until he was old enough for that particular item.

We got out 3DS at Game Stop and it was well under $100, I think it was $59 or $69.

Our kiddo's love their DS's. They also sell used games at Game Stop for as little as $3-$10. We bought a LOT of their games from them. Actually, I just asked hubby and we've never bought them a new game at all.

So it can be affordable.

What you have to do is burst his bubble. He's an innocent child. To him, you ask Santa you get it. I have gone through this and used all sorts of manipulation to get them to change their mind about what they want. I have told them Santa doesn't make DS's, he only makes bikes and xxx and XXX and sss. I flat out told my little guy one year than "I" had told Santa if he brought little guy the drum set he was wanting that I would boot Santa back up the fire place.

So do what you have to do. Our kids play their DS's and I swear it is the BEST tool I've ever had to use to get the kids to do anything "I" want.

I can say "Hey, if your dirty clothes aren't in the hamper by the time I count to 5 then your DS is MINE for the rest of the evening". They jump up and get busy and by the time I am at 3 they are rushing around and getting it done.

So I use them for a lot of good things. The kids? They just want to have fun on them.

My son wants one of those Xbox One game consoles, which are $500. We just told him it was for kids 12 and up (he's 7), so he's not old enough for it. Santa looks at those things, you know? :) I know, a white lie. But I had to think quickly.... He threw this on me randomly while riding down the road last week.
He was disappointed, but that seemed to appease him. Instead, we are getting him a Kindle Fire HD. We've preloaded some of his favorite apps on there. He'll be thrilled in the end I think.

I told my kids that they were getting cell phones at age 13 and not a day sooner. That is exactly what happened !

I am so sorry that our kids have to be faced with such expensive gadgets ---

When I was 4, my Mom bought me a doll, a puzzle and big wheel.

Stick with age 8...It's ashame that you have to be under such pressure w/ a 4 yr old. Our society has gotten a tad out of control w/ all this technology !

So much pressure for a 4 yr old, too.

When my kids were 4, I bought them tape recorders and kiddie musical instruments. How things have changed !!!!

Tell him that you've talked with Santa and he has a budget and won't be able to give this to him. Ask him what else he'd like. Give him time to think about it. Perhaps give him suggestions or browse the toy store or a catalogue with him.

You make a rule. That you have to be "x" years old to take care of and properly appreciate such an expensive item. That does not in any way say he will get that at 8. Just that he has to be older to be old enough to take care of it. And he can certainly ask Santa for anything he wants but Santa has many many children to bring gifts to. So he might or might not be able to give it this year. Reminds him off that regularly. He will be fine.

Tell him Santa only gives them to children 6 and up. Hey, you don't make the rules, you know?

;)

Santa could send him a letter letting him know that he , the elves and Mrs. Claus thought up a better gift for him. They thinks that (insert what you are giving him) is actually a better gift for him, because he can borrow brothers 3DS every once in a while.

My mom used to tell us that sometimes, Santa knows an even better gift for us. That why we still get great gifts, but maybe not exactly what we asked for.

A 4 year olds attention is pretty small, so distraction and reassuring that what they have been given by Santa is way awesome, can work. Take your child to toy sore.. Like an educational toy store or a independently owned toy store. And see what he ends up being fascinated by. We have some amazing toy stores here and kids go wild for better toys than just electronic toys.

Definitely tell him NOW that he's not getting it and to pick something else. Lots of good suggestions as to the reason why!

My SD wanted an iPod Touch one year when she was 7. Her father, mother and I all decided she wasn't responsible enough for something that expensive at the time so we told her she wasn't getting one, but for some reason she thought that Santa was omnipotent and she convinced herself that she was going to get one!

Christmas morning arrives and there's no iPod Touch under the tree for her and she threw a tantrum right on Christmas morning. She was yelling about Santa, and how it "wasn't fair" etc. She had really worked it up in her mind that she was getting one! It kind of ruined Christmas for us all, especially since we had bought her all sort of nice gifts. Her father and I wanted to take everything back at one point!

So really make sure your son understands he's NOT getting one! Since then we've been VERY clear with my SD about what is possible and not possible, and that seemed to help a lot.

Good luck!

My first thought was why can't he just share the one his brother has, but then I saw the other posters mention that it's not recommended for kids under a certain age. I would just let him know that Santa keeps track of the age stuff and to add some other stuff to his list. Good luck!

ETA: A rite of passage. Your brother had to wait until he was 8 and so do you. Otherwise nothing is special anymore because it is just given when you want it.

I am with the other moms to tell him outright that he is not going to getthe 3DS.

When my kids were little and they had wish books for Christmas, I would give each child a different colored crayon and let them have at it. After they went to bed, hubby and I would go over the pictures and make up our list of what they would get. They were really surprised Christmas morning because they did know what they would get and were happy.

Take pictures if you have to and then you make the decision of what they get. No time like the present to learn about not getting everything you want and learning patience. We always say, you can't get what you want when you want it.

the other S.

PS You set the budget for the kids and then you get what will fit without going overboard. Period.

I wouldn't want to get a 4 YO a video game. You can tell him the truth, and other things he can do to be active and healthy.
I would not get it for an 8 YO either.

I always tell mine just because other kids have video games, we will never have them (or the ipod, ipad, etc.) stuff. We do plenty to stay active and healthy and they love all these activities, like charades or stuff. We move!

My sister in law told my niece that she wasn't old enough for whatever it was that she wanted (some fancy ipod thing!) and she could get a ____ (some less fancy, cheaper ipod thing). She said that she didn't feel she was old enough for the fancier one yet AND that Santa has to obey parents' wishes on those things.

I always told my son that a DS was for when you were 7 (you could say 8 in your case), because that is how old his cousin was and she had one so it worked for us. He did get a Leapster and thought it was a DS for a while when he was around 4. We didn't tell him it was a DS, but we didn't correct him either.

I would just start now letting him know that he is not yet old enough for it. By the time Christmas comes he will have it in his head, hopefully.

I've been known to tell my kids "Nope. Not going to happen, don't even ask for it." When they were young, I even said "Don't ask Santa - even if Santa wants to give that to you, you won't be getting it because it's just not fair to your brother (or whatever the reason was)." I just put it flat out of their minds, so they were never disappointed on Christmas morning. I always had them make a list of at least 4 or 5 things they wanted so I (Santa) could choose which to get. But if there was something they wanted, like in your situation, where there was absolutely no way it was going to happen, I simply told them "Never gonna happen" up front.

And I agree with you that your 4yr old should totally not receive a 3DS that his brother had to wait until his 8th birthday to get. The DS Lite IS good enough. Maybe, however, big bro could be encouraged to let lil bro use the 3DS every once in a while...

If I can afford it I get them what they want for their main gift. But, if it is a money issue then I let them know up front that they might as well not ask santa for that item because they will not get it, period. If you make it clear up front they will have time to get over it and get excited about something new.

if you're firm and clear beforehand it shouldn't be a huge issue. of course there will be some disappointment, but if parents are honest and straightforward with their kids it will be very minimal and he will still enjoy his christmas morning.
the problems arise when parents play the coy games, telling their kids they're not getting something and then SURPRISE! springing it on them. it creates a wonderful aha moment, but sets a terrible precedent. forever after kids think and expect it's going to keep happening, and because parents hate to disappoint their kids, they usually keep the ball rolling.
just smile, and say with sympathy but firmly 'no, honey. santa isn't going to bring you the 3DS. think about some other things you might like to see under the tree.' don't make excuses, or promises for the future.
good for you for having limits and sticking to them!
khairete
S.

we said that although SANTA may allow other 4 yr olds to get that toy we as the parents had final say in what is allowed in our house and that toy was not allowed until age 8. Then guided him to pick something else.

A wish is a wish, not a gimmie. I would find other things to buy him. I tell DD that she can ask Santa for anything she wants, but if, example, she wants a pony then Santa needs to check with us first. And he knows we don't have a stable for a pony. Santa also knows she isn't allowed to have an ipad, either.

As we go along in stores, we take photos of the items she oogles so that I have a better overall idea of what she wants. This year, she wants a stuffie, and she needs another thing on her bed like she needs a pony, but we'll see. Mr and Mrs Claus are still in negotiations, but Santa is kind of a softie when it comes to DD and will probably get it for her. But we wouldn't get a DS.

I told my kids ahead of time anytime they asked Santa for something unrealistic (something too expensive, or something just impossible, like a horse), that Santa would not be bringing them that item, because Santa couldn't afford super-expensive presents for kids. Then I told them to ask Santa for something different.

It wasn't a problem.

How about getting him a leap pad explorer. My 4 year old son loves his and its got great learnkng games. Granted my older daughter doesn't have a Nintendo 3ds or a touch. But you could explain the explorer is for kids his age.... Best of luck. Honestly I think he will probably be fine.

To answer your question,

If I don't want to get it for him, he didn't get it. If he did not put other things on the list, oh well, I got what I wanted him to have. Age 4 is really young to be so set in his ways.

I have had this situation a couple of times since my eldest daughter has always asked for gifts that are very, very expensive... and she often asks for multiple very expensive gifts each year.

We were blessed with her figuring out that Santa isn't real when she was five years old, and she guessed at it when she was four. So really when she asks ever since then I tell her that if she asks for something that's big ticket she can't expect any other gifts. If she asks for something that's over budget I tell her straight out that I won't be buying it. Period. Christmas and birthdays don't entitle someone to receiving whatever they hell they want no matter the cost or no matter what the parent wants.

Christmas morning won't be ruined. Part of this is about teaching children to want and appreciate what they have rather than pining for what they don't have. It's fine for children to want and not receive. Maybe then as adults, if they don't receive everything they say they want as a child, they won't act like such jackholes.

My daughter is still a bit mad that Santa did not bring her a REAL unicorn last year. But she got over it...and is asking for other impossible things...but she won't get them..

That is life...

In the hype of Christmas morning, I doubt he will be disappointed. At that time, you can tell him not to give up, it just isn't time for him to have it.

You can also write a note to santa and mention he wants the 3DS but please tell him Santa can't promise, but it will be something nice. Teach him that it is okay to ask, but to be happy with what he gets.

As a child, I asked for things, but was always happy with what I got.

If you do the Santa thing. Tell him Santa thinks a lot about what he gets each child so he may want to come up with a bigger list. Otherwise Santa may choose something else that will be appropriate for a boy his age but not necessarily something he really wants. Our kids have to make a list of 20 things they want from Santa and a $10,$20,30 list so when friends relatives call I can can just give ideas around what they usually spend.

I would buy him one, maybe he is more mature than his other siblings. If he's the youngest, they tend to be more grown up because of the older siblings.

Our kids are older now but I would just tell them that Santa has to check in with the parents to make sure it was ok and we let Santa know. My kids always wanted a puppy or some crazy electronic and I would just say no and give the reasons. So they would know they were NOT getting it from Santa because mom told him no. lol