Hello mammas! I recently had a bridal shower for my BFF. I put a lot of effort into making really darling invitations, coordinating menus, thank you cards, and shower games. I had to travel to another town to host the party, so I was hosting a lunch at a restaurant. I could not for the life of me get rsvp's so I could plan on how much $ lunch was going to cost me, and favors/ centerpieces etc. I had the groom to be tell me that he invited someone about 5 days prior, I had some one else tell me that "so and so isn't going to RSVP, they might just 'show up',", I had someone RSVP and not show up, I had some else who didn't RSVP show up and not even bring the bride a gift! I made darling little floral bouquets of alstromeria, baby's breath and pink roses in little jam jars with sheer ribbon bows lined down the center of the table. As people were leaving, I was handing them a floral arrangement and thanking them for coming. I had 1 person head for the door with two in their hand, another put hers down and swapped it for another.....I mean really, do people just think that it's acceptable to just be rude rude rude? The person that the groom invited is one that didn't RSVP even though I asked him directly twice to pass my email address and cell # to her for that very purpose, is the one that swapped her flowers. I had selected 4 things from the menu of the restaurant, made my own coordinating menus and had them at each place setting, ( a sandwich - soup & salad combo, tuna melt, oriental chicken salad and a fruit plate with cottage cheese & homemade bread) I even had a kids menu of chicken fingers, grilled cheese, mac&cheese, or burger......unbelievably, I had people who wanted to order off the regular menu at my expense! I had selected the menu and worked with the restaurant owner so that he would be prepared for a large party of 20-25 people and I could control my expense to about $10 per person with soda & iced tea included. I just don't understand what goes through people's heads!?!?!
If someone where to try and order something else I think I would have said, "That's fine, but you're paying for it." I rarely plan parties because people annoy me so much. :)
Wow! I am impressed you put on such a wonderful event! I would have loved being there! Don't let the lack of manners by a few overshadow what sounds like a lovely time. I do agree with you the number of people who act this way seem to be growing. Like it or not that means you'll have to set some boundaries and respond as Jennifer suggested.
People can be butt heads. They always think that someone else is getting something more or something better than they are.
I wasn't raised that way. Their kids will likely be the same.
Sounds like YOU did a great job and had a really nice event for your friend.
I completely understand. I once had guests at a baby shower complain to my face about the games. No kidding. These were games I found online and not anything offensive or crazy. To make matters worse, one person showed up unexpectedly (never RSVP'd and then showed up with her child). My favorite was when the guests griped there weren't enough prizes for the games (because we ended up with a couple of ties). I seriously thought I was going to have to give people things from our home. The soon-to-be mom gave up one of her prizes to a winner and no joking, one of her guests took it!
People can be incredibly rude. I won't host baby or bridal showers any more.
Wish you were MY friend.....alas, I'm already married and have finished having kids. (*sigh) Will you do birthday parties? :P
No, but seriously: sounds awesome. Really, really nice, and I'd have loved to be there....and I hate showers, lol. I bet you made an impression on your friend, the bride to be, and that's all you need to worry about. It's a cluster, especially when the friends coming aren't even necessarily "your" friends, ya know? Yes manners have gone out the window it seems. But they're not dead. There's still some stubborn among us that are trying to keep the values alive.....and teaching them to our children, too.
If someone looked like they were going to order off the menu I'd be like "Oh, we've already got the party menu arranged with management...are you going out on your own?" But yeah, live and learn. Not all women are grabby little cows. But I've learned as an adult that less is more when it comes to how many I invite to a party. I've had parties where I wanted to beat people's heads in with a baseball bat (but didn't, lol).....I've also had smaller parties (4-12 guests, plus husband and I) where we had SO MUCH FUN. Helps when you're in control of the guest list.
What a lovely bridal shower! Too bad your friend's family and friends have no class. I'm sure your friend appreciates all the effort you put into it. Live and learn. Now you'll know not to throw a baby shower for her unless it is for a small group of her friends that you like too.
Wow...you sound awesome!! I guess you could just thank your stars that none of these people are your friends. I bet your girlfriend was so very appreciative of all the hard work you did. I don't know what to tell you about the rudeness of people except that since you didn't say anything to these rude women........ you are a GOOD woman.
L.
I hope your friend appreciates all of the effort you put in to this event. We need more people like you!!
I'm so sorry that this was frustrating, but like Denise said (I love how she gets right to the point!), people are butt heads! Don't let this discourage you too much, there are still people out there that do feel that good manners are important.
this is why i don't have friends :) its hard enough to deal with rude family, but having to deal with rude friends and strangers isn't worth it to me.
Oh my, will you be my maid of honor next time I get married, please?
(I think the things you describe here are pretty common problems at showers, or any get together involving a lot of different kinds of people. I'm sure her baby shower will go better, tehehe)
:)
bravo to you for doing such a kind and generous shower for you friend!!!! people are just rude. it sounds like it was a lovely event!
Some people just don't understand how much HARD work it takes to plan a nice shower. Hopefully they weren't allowed to order off the full menu and if they were it was at their expense. Grrr
It sounds like you did a wonderful job and I'm sure the Bride loved it!
unfortunately - we have helped create a society of self-centered people who don't think about their actions nor how their lack of consideration will affect another....it's called ripple affect and I'm surprised by the lack of consideration...
If the people wanted to order off the menu - i would've said - that's fine - they will bill you separately - i'm not an ATM machine or a bank... I hope you said NO or handled it to where they got their portion of the bill.
I'm truly sorry that people were rude...that sucks!! I hope the party was fun and a success!
Gee I wish you were my friend, lol
I just read someones "So what happened" from a different post. The poster & some respondents said they are disappointed that society seems to be trying to go backwards to the 50's. But after reading your post, what happened to you wouldn't have happened in the 50's. People were kind, respectful, polite, pretty much all the things that these people lacked at this shower.
All I can say is to raise your children to NOT behave like these rude self absorbed people.
I think we should have a party, and you can plan it! You did a great job Id say. I only hope someone had the class to thank you!
Its a strange selfcentered self intitlement people have now and think everything should be for them. I did a baby shower for a friend and set up 5 tables at church with nice china, and flowers. I was shocked when it was done and over to find whole place settings gone, and the flower arrangements missing. It was MY CHINA and My ceramic pots Id put the flowers in. I didnt have enough money to buy all that stuff just for a party and only did what I could with what I had and someone walked off with it.
Wow - that is both shocking and very telling of where our society is heading. I'm so sorry for the horrible actions of others - sometimes it seems as tho common courtesy is gone and people are all about "me me me".
No excuse for the bad manners, but you seem to need to be in control. There are many things you could have done in advance to avoid some of the things that happened.
Blessings.....
Manners start at home when we are kids. And yes, we should pick up more as we grow up. I totally feel you here! For my wedding I had alot RSVP then not come. Then those who didn't and brought EXTRA guests. I heard the next day the bartender was doing TONS of shots with my guests, it was OUR liquor!
I am currently planning a shower for my sister next weekend, I've had ONE RSVP...........MY best friend!
I just don't get it either. Another example, my MIL saw an invite to a party we are throwing. A party for our FRIENDS where there will be drinking which she dislikes. She whined about why she wasn't invited to my SIL who then calls my husband, so my husband calls her and makes up a story about why we didnt send her invite....but now she's coming!! AAAHHH
RUDE RUDE RUDE!!!!!!
Just realize that you went above and beyond for your friend, and she's very lucky to have someone be so thoughtful. I hope she appreciated it, and showed you that she did!
