Where to Birth

Updated on September 02, 2007
M.M. asks from Saint Louis, MO
12 answers

My original plan was to birth at home. I've changed my mind for a few reasons, although I still fear birthing in a hospital due to unnecessary intervention and some "rules." The doctor I am going to see next week is at St. Anthony's. I assume that is where she delivers. I feel so uneducated about the hospital situation and birthing. I've really only heard and read negative things. I've also heard negative things about St. Anthony's. I plan on calling tomorrow and seeing if I can get a tour. I am 31 weeks pregnant and the time is getting shorter between now and my son's birth. I am stressed because of fear and I'm having a hard time relaxing until I know what the plan is. Part of me feels I should have stayed with my original home birth in the water idea. Now I wonder if I have been overly influenced and have lost trust in my body and my beliefs. I guess I'm asking a few things here. Mainly, what has been the experience for any of the mothers out there at St. Anthony's? I don't think they allow water births there or even laboring in water, but is it a good place to birth otherwise and are patients in the maternity ward taken care of compassionately?

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M.M.

answers from St. Louis on

M.,
A previous poster mentioned that Barnes is the only hospital that allows water labor/birth. But, I just heard a labor/delivery nurse from St. John's talk about how moms have brought in their own tubs--at least for laboring in; I'm not sure about birthing. I delivered at St. Anthony's in December. I had a good experience on the labor/delivery side-I loved my labor & delivery nurse. But, when we were on the postpartum & nursery side, they ended up being way overcrowded (& understaffed it seemed). Normally everyone gets their own room, but they were doubling patients up in all the big rooms. I felt the communication wasn't great. They would take the baby to the nursery for vital check, saying she would be right back, but it would take FOREVER. I had to call down there more than once because they were keeping her past her feeding times. I think it was a case of being understaffed, and possibly the nursing students and techs that would take the baby to the nursery neglecting to tell the nurse when the baby's next feeding time was.

If you go to St. Anthony's, I would try to find out what their numbers of patients have been like, and how they are accomodating everyone.

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B.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I experienced the same issue, deciding finally to deliver at Missouri Baptist. After speaking to my friends, home birthers, I understand that MOBap is the most understanding toward moms who are looking to have more say and control over their birth experience. One friend was even able to go to MOBap, bring her MidWife, have an ultrasound and return home to deliver the way she wanted. I think the bottom line is that you will do best if you have a voice speaking on your behalf when you are too preoccupied with your delivery. A doula is an excellent idea. Barnes Jewish has facilities for water births and has doulas. After two other births at MOBap, I can honestly say that the nurses will work with you and help make sure you have the birth experience you are interested in having. I would imagine that if you are able to communicate well, you can have most of what you want any where. Best wishes.

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R.B.

answers from St. Louis on

i had both of my boys at st.joseph it is a smaller hospital and i was told they give better care and i was extremely happy with the results the rooms are like a hotel room you deliver in the same room you stay in there is no delivery room it was an awesome experience for me both of my boys were born 6 weeks early.

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E.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I just had my daughter 4 weeks ago, but I had her at St. Joseph's. My ob's "preferred" hospital is St. Anthony's, but I've also heard bad things- from people I actually know. I chose not to go there as well. Most ob's deliver at more than one hospital (mine does at like 4 different ones). I would talk to your doctor and find out. I would talk to your doctor and find out. I had a WONDERFUL experience at St. Joseph's- I had talked about my birth plan with my ob and printed it out/discussed it with my nurse and it was great. She totally respected my wishes & even let a few things slide that weren't exactly policy. They really listened and responded.

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I am not sure about St. Anthony's. I am having my son at Missouri Baptisit, I'm due on 10/8 and had my 2 year old there as well. I love the facility. The nurses were great and my Dr was able to deliver Maya. I guess, I would start with where your OB can deliver your child. But St. John's across the highway is great to, I just had a friend who had her baby there, and almost made me want to go there, except my OB isn't associated with that hospital.

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J.L.

answers from St. Louis on

My friend, Sarah, has actually had two really great experiences at St. Anthony's. She may post something on here as well. My best advice though is that while you may want to "plan" everything out to help relieve anxiety about labor and delivery...you really need to be open to the fact that you might just NOT be able to stick with it. I went into my first labor and had a birthing plan all written out and had to throw the entire thing out the window. Granted my son had wrapped his umbilical cord around his neck and appendages like a climbing harness but I learned through that labor that you really just need to be flexible.

Another thing you may want to think about doing is getting a doula. They can act as a patient advocate for you to help you stick to your birth plan. They help you stay focused and calm. You can probably get a list of doulas that work with St. Anthony's through your birthing class instructor for the hospital.

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J.K.

answers from St. Louis on

I'm sorry you aren't getting the home birth in water you wanted.

I've heard bad things about all the area hospitals -- really, there is no hospital in St. Louis that really supports physiological labor and birth. I wish we had a birth center.

My advice is: stay home as long as you can. If your water breaks, shh, don't call them. Stay home until contractions get extremely intense and you want to go to the hospital. At home, you can be in water. You can shower or bathe, you can eat and drink, you can move around freely. The longer you stay at home, the better chance you have the delivery you want.

A doula is an excellent idea. A doula can help support you both at home and in the hospital. She can help you feel confident about when is the right time to leave home.

I also recommend you read "A Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer, if you haven't already. That will give you an idea of what you want the doctors to do, and what you don't. And the doula will help you stick by that.

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M.W.

answers from St. Louis on

When I was having my first, 5 years ago, no hospital in the St. Louis area did water births. My best advice is to not let the doctor induce if at all possible. I think doctors are inducing more frequently in order to fit their schedules. Both of my children were induced at St. Mary's. The first, I believe, could have been a much smoother delivery had we waited a little longer until the baby was ready. I went in with a list of things that I never wanted to happen during delivery and every single one of them happened anyway. It was a very scary event and I think forcing things to happen before time caused me to have to get an extreme episiotomy that took almost a year to recover from internally. Here is the good news. The second baby stayed in the womb a week past due date and had to be induced for her own safety. This time I made it clear to them that if my contractions seem to take over on their own that they cut off the pitosin. They did and my delivery was simple. I didn't even have time for an epidural so the baby was born naturally. I did, however, have to have another severe episiotomy but I recovered very quickly. I believe in my heart my easy recovery was because I felt less scared and a little more in control. I would recommend not getting an epidural if you can stand it. First deliveries can be difficult because they are often longer so don't feel bad if you need the epidural. Remember that every woman is different so don't worry about the horror stories you hear. Just try to find some peace and do your best to relax. Relaxing will help you the most.

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M.K.

answers from St. Louis on

I had my daughter at St. Anthony's and it was a great experience. I was so happy I had her there. Wouldn't have wanted to go elsewhere. Not sure about water births there. Good luck!!

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A.S.

answers from St. Louis on

M.,

I will be having my first child at the end of Nov. I chose to have my baby at St. Joseph's in Kirkwood. You have a room to yourself there for Labor, Delivery, Recovery, and Postpartum (LDRP room's). I think I heard that St. Lukes has the same thing. This way there is no roommate, and no switching of rooms. Also each nurse is assigned only one mother. So you won't have to worry about sharing nurse time with someone else. Obviously after her shift is done, you will have another nurse (again assigned just to you for your needs). I know they don't have water birthing areas, but they are completely flexible to your ideas as long as it is okay with your doc or midwife. So if you are not wanted meds, they will listen.

Really the question of your birth plan is something you should be discussing in detail with your doc or midwife. You generally run the show, unless they have a concern about something. I felt much better after talking with the nurses at St. Joe's and with my doctor. Really as long as the baby appears to be handling things okay, and as long as my water has not broken then I can walk around, take a bath or shower, use all sorts of positions and a birthing ball as well.

I chose St. Joseph's b/c my cousin and my best friend both recently had wonderful experiences there. I did have one friend who went to St. Anthony's and she told me she had a good experience, but I never got details from her. So I really am not sure what to expect there. I live in Jeff Co, so St. Anthony's is closer, but I've had too many bad experiences with their ER. The rest of the hospital (outpatient surgeries, serious illness, etc.) does a wonderful job with the rest of my extended family. We just can't stand the ER.

I would say you will definetly feel better by first asking all sorts of details with your OB or midwife. And just remember to be flexible, everything I've ever read says that the best written birth plans don't always go as planned. There are just too many unpredictable factors.

However you might also consider hiring a doula if that takes your fears away. She would there to intervene and help you through the labor and delivery and some even after you are home with the baby. I originally was considering this, but after having gone through the childbirth class and discussing details with my doctor and nurse... I feel so much more confindent about the entire experience. Because I know what to expect even with a lot of the "what if" situations, I have a better understanding now of how my plans will change if these situations arise.

There is a lot of info on www.babycenter.com. Also check out St. Joe's website www.stjosephkirkwood.com. And if you want to think about a doula the site is www.dona.org.

I hope I didn't drag on too long, and I hope some of this helps. Feel free to write back if you have any other questions.

A.

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D.L.

answers from Columbia on

M.,
HOw wonderful you are educated about the importance of laboring and birthing in water! There are only a few of us! I too wanted to labor/birth in water with my youngest daughter so I researched it extensively. The only hospital in St. Louis that will "allow" it is Barnes-Jewish on Kingshighway. That was just too far for us and our OB. I went to MO Baptist and they are awesome. I didn't labor/birth in water, but my birthing experience was great all the same. I labored and birthed both of my daughters without the use of any drugs. It was painful, but fabulous all at the same time. I don't know much about St. Anthony's, but my OB followed my birth plan to the letter. I also had copies put in my file ahead of time as well as brought several with me to the hospital and my coach handed them to every staff person that walked in my door. It was also helpful for me to have a doula with us. She oversaw things and managed the staff, to some degree. That way we didn't have to worry about anything but focusing on our daughter. The last I know about St. Anthony's, although they may have changed recently, is that they are very "old school" in that they push drugs, staying in bed and a lot of fetal monitoring. All things that are detrimental to the whole process. If it is possible to change your OB or your hospital, I would suggest you do it NOW! I can give you my OB's name and number if you are interested. He is very open and didn't intervene until it was necessary~after the birth. I even reached down, put my hands under my oldest daughter's arms and pulled her out the rest of the way. That was awesome and totally unplanned. It was instinctual and he let me!
This note is long enough. Please let me know if you would like more information. I wish you and your son all the best in the world and a safe and wonderful birthing experience.
D.
Oakville

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E.R.

answers from St. Louis on

I don't know much about St. Anthony's..but I do know that most OB's will deliver in more than one hospital. My OB delivered at St. Lukes, St. Johns and Mo Bap. The doc that delivered me (oh so many years ago) delivered at Mo Bap and St. Joe's.

I delivered at St. Lukes (in Chesterfield) and they had a LOT of birthing options (and thing like birthing balls, large bathtubs, ect). My duaghter was transfered to St. John's after a week (she was born premie) and we really liked it there as well. If I have another one, that is where I would like to go.

I liked that we went to the hospital. The nursing staff was so nice and supportive. They can really help you through things. I wasn't going to get drugs, but I ended up needing them (which would have been an option w/ a home birth). Then come to find out, my contractions were so bad b/c I was bleeding interally (I had a placental abruption). The wonderful staff at the hospital were able to save me and my reproductive organs. I spent 3 days in ICU and 7 days total at the hospital (I had to leave b/c of the insurance company...my doc was VERY upset....I still couldn't walk!). Their kindness really helped me and my hubby stay calm through the event...and the NICU nurses were so helpful in teaching us how to care for a premie.
But everyone is different. Just talk to you doctor about where she has privilages and go and visit all of the maternity wards (they will usually do tours). You will know if you like the feel of a place. Bring your doctor your specific wishes and concerns and talk to her about them...work out a birthing plan w/ your doc now..before it is too late! b/c in my case, i didn't have things done when my little one showed up, since she wanted to make an early arrival.

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