Whether or Not to Hold My Son Back from Kindergarten

I was sent in late to kindergarten when I was a kid and I feel that affected me a lot, because I always finished my in class assignments way ahead of everyone, and then I continued to excel in my other grades as well, that was before there were honors classes. I was very bored in my classes and started to slack off, I think it's better to challenge a child's' mind in the beginning when it's easier for them to learn things. You can always hold him back once it's time to enter 1st grade if you see he is struggling a lot.

hi K.,

You've gotten a lot of good advice here. Just thought I'd share some experience. I held my son back from starting Kindergarten and he is now turning 19 in 2 months and a senior in High School.

I held him back because I had my son through a special needs adoption (adopted him at age 4) and he was very delayed socially and developmentally. He was deaf in one ear and his speech was also very delayed. At the time it was the best decision since the pre-school teachers and other professionals advised me to put him in to "special education", I think they call it something different now. It wasn't as 'in style' to hold your children back from Kindergarten at that time like it is now and I caught a lot of flack over it from family members.

Anyway, in just one year he turned around with flying colors -by working closely with him and taking him to special teachers, we got his speech up to speed very quickly and socially he definitely came around as well and did great in grade school and junior high (behavioral is another story).

However, fast forward to present - I have a 6' tall, 194-pound almost 19-yr-old young man attending high school, hanging out with 15 and 16 year olds and getting into some pretty weird mischief and really quite beligerant with the teachers - he is too old to be there and he knows it. We are counting the days (holding our breath) until graduation.

Just food for thought.

cheers,

W.

My daughter was born August 31st........talk about the cut off!!!

I plan on sending her when she is 5. If for some reason your son doesnt do well. He can always go to kindergarden a second time....at that age they wont know the difference. Your words are that you feel he is ready send him...dont worry about what others are doing. You do whats best for your child. Go with your gut!

My son is currently in Kindergarten. He has a late August birthday and I felt in my heart that he was ready even though his preschool teacher insisted he was too young and should not go. We sent him anyway. He is currently reading and writing at a second grade level and is doing remarkably well on the social front. His friends are a little older but children will model themselves after their peers. I do not under any circumstances regret our decision to go ahead and put him in Kindergarten. The best thing someone said to me was-you can always change your mind after he starts and pull him out. It is a lot harder to stick him in after the year begins.

hold back! You are welcome to IM me for more info on this topic....

If you are concerned that he isn't ready.. than hold him back.

Also it is true that people are holding their kids back. My son is a December baby and one of the youngest by almost an entire year in his class.

The con is.. if he is an advanced kid he may be ready to do it and he could get really bored at school. Also gifted kids are often more mature.

Having a degree in special education, I would totally ask your current preschool teacher their personal opinion. If he is emotionally and socially. physically, academically ready, then I say go for it (as long as his preschool teacher ok's it- since you seem concerned about it). You know your child the best, more than anyone else in the world and follow your instinct on this one. You will know right away if the time is right or not. Does your son succeed and is progressing well and normally in preschool? If he is on target with everything according to his preschool teachers, then, in my opinion I would put him where he belongs, which would be to move on to the next step and go to kindergarten. Why hold him back, if he is not behind or showing any signs that he is not ready? If he is ready, then I say go for it, as long as you are comfortable with it and feel it is the right choice to make for your son,

Also, to put your mind at ease, I was young for my grade when growing up and I never ever noticed any maturity gaps with my peers. There was never a problem. I was always on the same level as my peers in my classes and with my friends in the same grade. One year apart as children grow up, TRULY does not make a huge difference, as long as your son meets all the school requirements to be ready for kindergarten at a young age.

I believe that if you feel your son is ready, and he does not have any speech or other delays, then send him. Someone has to be the youngest in the class! On the other hand, if you are truly struggling with this decision, then you should hold him back. You will never regret waiting and having him being slightly ahead of the game, but if you don't wait and it's not perfect (like anything is) you will always wonder.

I think that if you believe your child is ready, then send him. My son has some speech/developmental delays, so we will probably wait until he is 6 to send him- he was a preemie and is delayed-he has a August 23 birthday. I think you know what is best for your child- I think people who do that are selfish thinking their child will have the upperhand on kids later. Kids should start school at 5 unless they are not socially or developmentally ready for it.

I'd say go with your gut feeling. My 14 yr old dd has a late bday (actually past the cut-off date for IL) and has always done good in school academically and socially (she is currently in hs and is in the honors program). Every child is different, my dd would have been bored if I wuld have kept her one more year... and instead she was always challenge and eager to go to school... besides being short she was never behind. She will be the last one to get her driver's lic, but I don't think that is a bad thing. You may want to ask his preschool teachers... they may be able to help you. GL on your decision.

K., I agree with Bethany. If you are asking yourself if you should hold him back, you probably should. I work as a school nurse, and see or hear about kids that are not keeping up and later have to be held back. Not that your child is lagging behind at all, but when he gets older he will be less apt to be stressed out about homework and basketball, etc..A year just makes such a huge difference. It might mean the difference between high honors and struggling later on as things get harder.

Response from a mom of a 17 year old.
My son's birthday is July 27. He went to kindergarten when he was 5 years old. He has never struggled at school but we were very involved with his education. He also went to a Christian School were there was only 10 students in his kindergarten class. He went to public school 4 years ago as a Freshman and is doing just great.
If you feel your son is ready and he says he would like to go. I say go for it. But if he is apprehensive about it I would keep him home. You could consider Pre-K at that point.

Best of Luck

As a former teacher I asked the Kindergarten teacher in my building what her thoughts were. She had the best advice I have ever heard. "If you can think of any benifit to waiting...wait." Whether it is physical size, drivers licsence(sp) maturity etc. I thought it was a better way to look at it than "Can they make it? Are they ready? I have also heard parents regret sending a young 5 but never heard someone regretting waiting.

That being said my parents waited with my brother and they were thrilled, a neighbor also did. I have also heard of people sending their younger 5's to a parochial/private K program and then the following year deciding whether to do K in the public school district or go on to 1st. Whatever decision you make know you are making a thoughtful choice for your child and it will be fine
Beth

Trust your instincts and send him at 5. Maturity isn't a physical trait, it's something that is nurtured in a loving home. As long as you're involved in his life and have taught him proper behaviors, then there isn't any reason to worry.