Whether or Not to Pull My Kindergartener Out and Homeschool Him...

Kindergarten is a good grade to homeschool him. It sounds like the two of you are enjoying teaching him at home. Why not keep him at home for another year and try him in school next year.

ok, i have read some of the responses. OMG, homeschool him. I don't regret it and for kindergarten, you maybe need an hour a day at most!! you can take that hour whenever you want. In fact, many parents are opting for starting later (age 6), so his wonderful big book is all you need if you want. You can do it ~ totally! You will be the one to not only watch him develop the love for learning (at his own pace), but you will be there to constantly be on him for character building. Also, there are plenty of wonderful groups to be a part of, if you feel the need (not necessary at his age). The benefits are endless and the cons are none, I promise you. Well, you are sacrificing your time alone, but it's an investment that is worth it in the long run. You can google and find everything you need. Our K program only requires mostly play and the ability to count from 1-100. That's it. There is hardly a place in adult life (which is what we are preparing them for, right?) that you are placed in a group of peers with 25 or so your age. Good luck and feel free to pm me if needed.
Blessing,
M.
PS. I forgot that laws are different in every state. UT looks pretty easy. Google HSLDA (Homeschool Legal Defense Assoc.) and Utah laws and you will see what is required. I pay $9. a month to belong to this group of lawyers that give legal help upon request as well as a wealth of other information that is useful.

In hindsight I should have pulled my 3rd out in kindergarten. As it is, I left her there to suffer until 4th grade, then did a lot of backpeddling in 5th to get her caught up.
She had severe anxieties that I just didn't catch.

If you get him involved in social activites with other homeschooled families he will be fine. My two at home are in 5th and 8th. We have homeschool band, youth group, swimming, fencing, art classes, scouts. THey have a very active social life, more so than my senior who has never been homeschooled. Look up Classical Conversations in your area. They will help you with a curriculum

Only you can make the decisoin. The schools will fight you on this though. I had teachers calling me at home. I even had one tell me he could no longer talk to me as my daughter was not in the schools. They threatened to report her truant. It is legal in every state. Go to hslda.org and find the laws in Utah.
And good luck. You can do this.

If you have the ability to teach him at home there is no harm in it-I was bored at school, got pulled in the 2nd grade and homeschooled the rest of the year. I ended up doing my 2nd & 3rd grade year all in that time frame. When I went back I advanced to the point of skipping the 8th grade because I needed the challenge.
If you aren’t able to home school try a montessori school or another less restrictive enviorment that allows him to thrive. Sometimes our children are trying to tell us something and they just don’t know how so all we need to do is take the time to lisen

Some children do learn better at home, and there are plenty of opportunities for social interaction outside of school. There have been numerous studies that suggest our children start school too early, particularly for boys. Many kids adjust, sure, but some of them may do better if they're kept home longer. I would hate to see your son develop a bad feeling about school and learning when he could start his early years learning at home when he's comfortable. I may be in the minority here, but I suggest homeschooling. I would definitely get him involved in some playgroups or some activities outside of the home in order to keep him interacting with other kids, though.

I am homeschooling because our local school curriculums are very incomplete. I researched and thought long and hard about what to focus on for my daughter in her kindergarten year: Learning enough material to be competitive with good districts and international schools in case we can move one day and keep her on track intellectually, or, giving her socialization all day every day. We picked the learning, but I HATE that she's missing a structured "school" setting. It's also a TON of work for me to accumulate the material she needs to learn AND teach it to her plus her other lessons and classes, plus taking her to homeschool network social activities. Yes, it only takes mornings at this age (except for random activities and classes she has in afternoons as well), and yes, she's learning TONS and is approaching second grade level in most subjects at this point, and we naturally learn all day, and let her go at her own pace-But she loves school (she went to K4) and would be flourishing in that structure too. If only they taught enough subject matter! I look at it this way. At any given time, she could go into a school and learn how to conform to the schedule. She's well disciplined, well behaved, and she would adjust. She would NOT have such an easy time catching up on learning if she got behind academically. So I chose the homeschooling because of our poor district. She will be ECSTATIC to go back to school if we get to move one day. Your problem is sort of opposite.

If you love teaching your son, and he loves learning with you, and you can commit to the long hours (my daughter's "school day" is short, but I have spent tons of hours comparing curriculums and reading up on my teaching materials, ordering classic books, working on her memorization, gathering all different subjects in books at he library, not just "fun" ones, practicing her instruments with her....etc) and hard work of giving him a full education for this year, I say go for it and worry about school later. BUT, if you think he will never want to go to school if you let him drop it now, and you're not cut out to homeschool him through high school (your days get longer as the material increases).....think long and hard first. It may be better to commit to helping him overcome these issues now and stay in school. This is where your mommy gut has to make that tough and important decision. Where will he learn more, and what will best prepare him for his school future?

***Added...If you've already done it, know what it entails, and how positive it is, and would like to do it through high school, Do it mama! You're the perfect candidate!

First, I want to say I'm a big proponent of homeschooling when it is done for all of the right reasons. But from what I've read here, IMO you're setting yourself up to get railroaded into making a decision about your son's education.

Instead of doing the research in all of the right places and then asking yourself if this is the right move based on an educated decision, you are seemingly looking to everyone else (mamasource and school officials) to make this decision for you instead of relying on your instincts and what your son is telling you.

You can bet, short of you doing some serious research into homeschooling, you will be told by school officials (right or wrong) to continue on with the situation your're currently in, with the exception of them offering you an IEP or some other "solution."

This could be fine, or it might not for your son, but you'll never know for sure if you don't explore your options on your own. You've got to know they will never tell you to homeschool. They will never give you the information about homeschooling, its benefits, or outcomes you'll need to make a well informed decision. It would be a conflict of interest for them.

Deciding to homeschool should be solely your decision based first and foremost on what you believe are your son's educational needs, your personal convictions about homeschooling, what resources you have available to round out that education, and lastly what he feels he needs or wants so he can be successfully educated. Yes, use the information they bring to the table after their assessments, but do not rely solely on those assessments for your final decision. You should also get a private assessment done on your son, by someone not affiliated with the school.

Chances are very great what the school tells you, and what you find out on your own if you do the research, will be so greatly different that you will have no question as to which way to go. The deal breaker will be matching the school and private assessment with your own personal assessment about your son's abilities, needs, and wants.

If you're at a loss where to begin looking into homeschooling, go to a convention in your area. You'll see all the curriculum that's available to you, find all of the support groups and co-ops, and learn what the state requires for compliance in your area. To find how to get started with homeschooling, conventions, co-ops and support groups and more see:
www.hslda.org and click on "You can Homeschool" in the middle of the page.

If you suspect he has educational glitches playing a role in his dislike of school, there are many homeschool and private programs that help kids overcome these issues. You do not have to use what the school will offer if you find their programs aren't suitable to your son's temperament and needs. At many of the homeschool conventions, often representatives from programs and therapists that help with educational challenges are on hand as well.

If not, here are a couple of places to check out:

www.learningrx.com
www.brainbalancecenters.com
www.diannecraft.org

GL

By the way, if you have the time and desire to homeschool (it's a lifestyle choice for sure, especially for the person who teaches) it's a wonderful and fulfilling experience for everyone. There are more than enough opportunities for socialization (almost too much IMO) and classroom opportunities too. Your child "will" academically and socially flourish. The key is to find a co-op or community of other homeschoolers to help round out what you do at home. Go to the hslda site, go to a convention. I suspect you will be pleasantly surprised.

And if for some reason he does have attention issues or other academic challenges, there are many supports out there, so don't let that stop you from homeschooling if that is what you both really want.

Maybe he is having Separation Anxiety.
And per his age, this can still happen.
But these things are manifested and displayed differently, depending on the age of the child.
Hence the reason I say this.
He seems verbally articulate and can express himself to you.
But he seems to miss his family/you/home... while he is at school. Plus, there is a WHOLE lot of other kids there... who are also getting attention and much more stimulation at school etc.
He is probably just not used to that.
Hence, frustrations. Hence, seemingly being "rough" or having trouble "focusing" at school.

To me, it is not something "wrong" with him.
Because, it only happens at school. It is situational.
He is not like this at home.

To me, he is just, having Separation Anxiety. He is after all, a young child.
And he is a middle kid.
And he is not used to, being amongst so much more... at school.

Encourage him to express himself/his feelings to you.
Talk with him.
Let him know you commiserate with him... but try to direct him toward positive things at school, too.

AND, if the kids are teasing him... I WOULD VERY much so, tell the Teacher. TELL the Teacher that your son is saying that the kids "hate" him at school etc. And that he is coming home denigrating himself saying how he can't read or write etc.
MAYBE... your son is a "perfectionist" and might feel that being in a whole class with others... makes him feel like he is not good enough comparatively, or perfect enough.
Because, once a child starts school... it is a natural thing to "compare" yourself to others. Maybe your son... is learning this and does not like it.
Or MAYBE... your son is experiencing what it feels like to have "structure" and "demands" upon him. Hence frustration. But... that is how school is. Or what life is as a child gets older. More, expectations.
Maybe your son does not like that.

MOST Teachers, at least my kids' Teachers, will speak to the whole class in general, about behavior and how to be kind, etc. Even though some kids are different.
So talk to the Teacher, as well.

You need to decide, if keeping him home is best for him, or more isolating or if it will hinder or promote his overall development. Each child is different.

But you also need to see... what is really bothering your son, since he started school.
It may just be "culture shock" and Separation Anxiety.

Have you considered a Montessori program? The kids work independently (either alone or in pairs) and it is very self directed. They are also multiple age classrooms so my son feels good both learning from the older kids and teaching the younger kids. A caveat - all Montessori programs are different and some are Montessori in name only so you need to check out each one that you might be interested in.

I think you need to let the professionals finish their evaluations, I think you need to help him work on his people skills outside of school as well as in the classroom and I think you should focus on some role play activities to see what happens. Give him a number of "little people" in a school setting and tell him to use his imagination to create a school day and see what happens, take notes you may find insight as to what is going on. Therepists use these types of techniques all the time to get a peak into their minds - kids play out what actually has happened (sometimes with extras) to them or what they have seen happen quite often. Just like the child that gets hit tends to hit others or their toys.

I am sorry your son is going through this!!! I think that you should work more with the school counselors and his pediatrician to see how to help him best. Pulling him out of a social school environment doesn't seem like the best option because he would become isolated at home. Kindergarten is such a huge milestone and step to pave the way to his elementary school years. Unless you have a great group of homeschool friends/community etc. I wouldn't consider that right now. I would focus on working with the teacher, school counselors and your son's doctor. See if they can do a progress report for him daily so he can see and you can see the positive/negative things. It will help boost his confidence if he sees on a daily basis that he is doing " excellent during reading time" or "great job being nice to his friends" etc. Validate his feelings at home but encourage him to reach out to other kids and make friends.

I know several children as well as my own who have gone through similar circumstances in adjusting to Kindergarten. It will get better. Best wishes~

M

Hi--

I decided to home school my oldest because he is so easily influenced by the emotions of the kids around him. In a good environment he's great. In an emotionally challenging environment, especially if the teacher has poor boundaries, he's a mess. For him I felt that he needed more time to become secure in himself and find out who he really his before he was influenced by whatever everyone else thought he should be. It was literally changing who he was. My gut said public school was just the wrong environment for him and I have been supremely happy with that decision. He still gets plenty of social interaction through groups, enrichment programs, music class, soccer, etc, and does incredibly well in all those situations. He has great friends and is all around an amazing kid.

So my best advice---when you get really quiet and think about him, what do you FEEL is best for him? Not what you think, because that can be so easily influenced by society and by others opinions and thoughts, but what do you intuitively feel? As his mother you know him better than anyone else on the planet. You know what is best for him. Trust that instinct. Every kid is different. If his needs are different than the "norm" then so be it. Do whatever you think will most help him be himself. Incidentally, forcing a child to be independent before they are ready does not instill independence, it instills a feeling that their needs won't be met. The more you meet their needs when they are young, the better foundation they have to take off from when they are ready. It seems counterintuitive----the old spare the rod spoil the child philosophy---but security as a child leads to security as an adult.

Good luck in your decision---Trust yourself!!
J.

Go to the school and spend some time in the classroom with him. You need to see the dynamics and why some things may be happening. You may be able to see some thing the teacher is missing too. You may see a different side of your child too.

I say observing the class and him interacting with it would be some good insight.

I was homeschooled my whole life. As you already know, there are plenty of opportunities for socialization within a homeschool community. I always think it's backwards that we feel that kids should learn how to socialize with 25 other kids who also don't know how to socialize. Who better to learn from than his parents (and older siblings), who are mature and love him more than anyone else? Please don't let an "expert" tell you that something is wrong with your child if you know better. You are your child's expert. You've spent the last six years learning every detail about him. Do what you know is best for him. Maybe he just needs another year or two of maturity under your guidance. If the socialization is really the biggest reason to keep him in school and he's not getting along with the kids anyway, does it really make sense to force him to stay? Obviously, that's not working and it's probably going to get worse. So my vote is to take him out soon, homeschool him and find a couple of kids he gets along with really well and make a point to get together with them regularly so he begins to learn what true friendship looks like. God bless you and guide you!

If you pull him out of kindergarten, you'll be validating all of his fears and worries and anxieties. You'll be telling him that those things are true. It's very likely that those things are built up in his head. It sounds like he might have anxiety disorder, but obviously I'm not a therapist. I just have an anxiety disorder and have seen it in children up close and personal, unfortunately.

I would suggest that in addition to having the school observe him, you need to write a formal request for him to be evaluated for a possible anxiety disorder or learning disorder and phrase it in a way that "you're concerned that it's affecting his ability to learn." Apart from the school evaluation you need to have him independently evaluated by a child psychiatrist or child psychologist. It can help get to the root of his problem, and if an independent eval can find something that the school eval doesn't, he still might qualify for special services of some kind in school.