Which Home to Buy?

I'd go for the oasis. We just moved from a house where we didn't really see the neighbors and had total privacy, to one where the neighbors are outside more --- and we don't have bushes out front sheilding us. I miss the quiet and privacy! Both homes are on lots over an acre in size, so its not that the neighbors are right there in my face or anything, but I very much prefer the privacy. Plus in my last home when people drove by they didn't see my son out in the yard because of the trees and bushes, so it felt safer.
And neighbors who seem great in the beginning many times end up being more of a headache after awhile!

the one thing about a house you cannot change is location. While we don;t always love our neighborhood, we would be LOST without our neighbors. Our kids are 11 and 12, their kids are 12 and 10. We made a special gate in our privacy fence 9 years ago so they could migrate between the houses easily. They are the best thing about our house, and often we have thought of moving to a bigger house, a more peaceful neighborhood. But the thought of losing that connection to the kids next door (and the other kids in the neighborhood) keeps us here

Well, since they are both big enough homes, and both have huge lots, I'd say go with the one that you can be more social with. That is so important. You know, when your child starts school, you will too, and will be meeting so many new people in your neighborhood. Your son will have someone to go out and play with, and you will have a mom here and there that you KNOW and maybe your husband will make new friends with the dads too. You really need to think about your kid(s) in this situation. If you know for sure there are not many kids in the other neighborhood, remember that one day your kid will have no one to play with. Do you talk to your neighbors now, even though they are "older"? Do you have much in common with them, since they don't have young ones? You need to consider that too. It is nice to live in an area, where the whole family can socialize at the same time. You may also meet people in house 2 neighborhood, that will be available to help you swap out child care, or whatever. You might even meet a family with a young girl that babysits too!! BTW, i live in a neighborhood kind of like house 2. We are social with most people, and enjoy it a lot. Good luck making your decision.

We were in the same spot! We literally looked at the SAME style house, same square footage, same school district, same commute... different ends of the town. One was on 2 acres with nothing but woods and a small pond, the other in a development.

In the end, I didn't want to be completely isolated and we chose the development. It has been a great decision for us. Our neighborhood is social and supportive. We have "open doors" when it comes to our children and our tools! My son (3.5) plays outside all summer long with the neighborhood children (who are older, but really good to him). I'm outside with them b/c of of his age, but none of the other moms are. The kids run around until it's dark... usually well after it's dark. The community is safe and we all watch out for eachother's children.

Totally up to you, but if you want your child to have the ability to go outside and play with friends "whenver"... consider the golf community. You can always go to a preserve for a hike!

Will your son be an only child? If so, having other kids around to easily play with may be more important... We live in a neighborhood with lots of kids and I've lost count how many times my husband and I have said how much we love it. Neighbors say the same thing. It's heart warming that our kids are able (6 and 7) to go out alone a bit like we did when we were kids and they all have so much fun! Older kids are out a lot on their own. We plan to move to more of an oasis when we and/or the kids are older. It would stink though if you move to have a neighborhood full of kids and then it turns out people aren't that social or there aren't actually kids... So I'd keep checking it out best you can.

From what you describe, we would pick #2. We just moved into that type of neighborhood, ironically from what you describe as your #1 scenario. We were on 2 acres, wooded, a pond, 700 ft off the main road, it was nice. But we were also 'alone'. Don't get me wrong, it has it's moments.
We moved to Houston from Dallas and for the kids, we chose an established, golf course, 'younger' neighborhood. We really like it so far.
These days people generally keep to themselves, so I'm not sure you should expect this outpouring of welcomeness. It's just the way society has changed. Good luck, and what ever decision you make, it will be the right one.

Whats the propert taxes, how much is heating (you should be able to call your electric company and by giving them the address get an estimate monthly total), Is it all electric? Lp, oil? Is there a bus route on both properties, how long will your children be on it, or will you pick him up?

Personally I live in the country on 5 acres, no close neighbors, and I LOVE IT!! The bus ride for my kids will be about 40 minutes so when the time comes Im going to hope I can take them to school.

Oh boy, I really love having neighbors--especially ones with young kids. My oldest is 5 and he just gets so excited when he sees other kids playing outside, and I am really excited for the day that I can let him just go out to play (in a few years from now). Yes, they can still do that, and, although I am actually quite overprotective, I feel good about doing so as long as I know the kids and their families, and we establish groundrules.

I notice that you are relatively new to the Chicago area. I am also a transplant, and living in a vibrant neighborhood has been very helpful with making connections (I am naturally very shy, but my next door neighbors are very friendly and we have become friends.)

All things considered, I would stay put in the "oasis" house. Being in a neighborhood full of kids isn't always all it's cracked up to be. Sometimes, the neighbor kids aren't the type of kids you'd want your kid hanging out with. We have that problem here. We have a couple of really kids nice kids, but there are a few that I absolutely do not want my kids hanging out with. They have no parental supervision, use bad language etc...etc..etc... And no, you can't just let your kids run the neighborhood anymore. I allow mine out in our yard by themselves where I can check them on them, but nowhere else. If you stay in your current home, you can set up plenty of play dates for your son with kids that you approve of. Just my $.02

I currently live in a home similar to #1 in the country. We left a #2 situation a mile from the city. So I am probably not the best person to ask. lol I like my privacy, no HOAs, and friendly older neighbors that keep an eye on things without being intrusive. I love having plenty of room and land to grow out. If I want to put a boat out back, fine. If I want to put a trampoline out back, great! I can do all that and have my garden and fruit trees. I have two young kids, but it's fine. They have friends over and they are perfectly adjusted. We love the country life!

My thoughts would be:
Staying in current home = NO MOVING!
A "social" neighborhood is good, but I love living in an "older" neighborhood, where most of our neighbors are retirees (meaning: home to keep an eye on things since we both work full-time).
Depending on your area (neighborhood, city, etc), you may let your kids "roam" (like you did as a kid), but in our city that just isn't a good idea.
If you really prefer the floor plan of house 2, that would be a big deal for me. If the not-so-agreeable floorplan in house 1 can be changed (some renovations) would that factor in the decision?
Moving to a new house can be fun (and cleansing--getting rid of unused junk)!
Will you have to buy/fix things if you move?
When we were looking at houses, we had some idea of "must haves," but were very open about style, neighborhood, etc. When we stepped into this house, we both KNEW it was perfect!

Good luck!

I would prefer a neighborhood with kids HOPEFULLY my kids ages.

Go through the neighborhoods during different times of the day...and on the weekend before you buy to see if the kids play outside...if there are kids your kids age....see things...talk to people.

I love my neighborhood. What I don't like is that we don't have any kids on the block my kids age anymore...that sucks. We had one family move out and rent their home out...they had 3 kids..but they were in a 3 bedroom so yeah - they needed to expand! :)

Take a walk through the neighborhoods....

I'm a country girl, so that's where I'd stay (On the heavily wooded oasis).

However, these are also some things that would go into my decision:

Which one has a fire place? (Even if you have heat these are always nice when the power goes out... Like it did the other day at our house when it was in the negative degrees)
Which once has a basement? (Tornado's... I feel much safer in a basement during a tornado over a little closet or hallway)
Which floor plan to I prefer?

Go look around that golf course neighborhood, walk or drive slowly through it several times. No imagine that your 7 yr old (just throwing out an age) is walking around by him/herself. Are you feeling ok with that? What about the golfers you don't know that are in folks' back yards (essentially) every day... people that neither you nor your neighbors know...
Still comfy letting son/daughter ride their bike around without you?
Think realistically---how old will your child need to be, before you let them walk/ride over several houses away to play? Without you outside in the yard watching everything from a distance? I would guess, that you could drive them over to a friend's house almost as easily as all that worrying you will put yourself through. (I've lived in/on a golf course community).
Also--have you ever lived in a community with tight covenants? Many golf communities have very tight restrictions, and the HOA can be pretty much a pain in some of them. Not all, but that depends upon the folks living in the community itself (which changes over time) and who sits on the board/committees. Want to change your landscaping? I'd bet you have to get written approval first. Want to add an out-building for all the yard stuff you have accumulated, but no longer have room for in the garage b/c of the scooters/bikes/ etc ? Umm.. not allowed. Or 37 hoops to jump through first.
That nice neighbor next door? The one that always waves when you come home? He's always out there when you want to play with your kid in the back yard, too. And he is lonely and ALWAYS wants to have a conversation. And sees you if you walk outside in your bathrobe.

You and hubby should make your own lists of pros and cons. You can also rate the properties from 1 to 10 also rate any amenities. Be sure to get the home you chose inspected (even if it's the one you are renting).

My hubby and I made a list of things we really wanted in a house and things we couldn't live without. With the exception of surface things like paint and carpet, those things can be easily changed.

Home 1, you are currently renting with option to buy?

I would ask myself, "do I feel AT HOME here, and do I want to move?"
"do I like my current neighbors?"

For house 2:
Are the amenities of a golf club community, the perks that probably require association fees or membership dues something you want and will use?
There will always be trade off's. Maybe some upgrades and refinishes on the current home might make the difference.