I love the idea of just a couple friends over to the house for a 3 year old's party but we are fortunate to have a solid circle of friends that are "must invites" and a very small house that isn't condusive to entertaining.
Thus, we have decided to hold her party at a place that will handle everything. It's a 90 minute themed party and we'll provide pizza and cake.
Though I am certain as to which friends to invite, the family thing is a bit trickier. My husband is one of 4.
We have the eldest bro, with wife and 3 kids (8,6,4)
Younger bro, with wife and 1 year old
Youngest is sister with serious bf
And of course MIL and FIL
If I didn't care about hurt feelings or breaking etiquette, I'd invite the 4 year old and 1 year old and my in-laws. They are the ones who are most age appropriate for this type of party.
However, I would like to tell my eldest SIL that her older ones are welcome to come. They live an hour away so it may be easier for them to bring everyone. But then pretty much everyone is invited except youngest SIL and her bf. I don't want her to feel excluded but I also don't want her to feel she's obligated to come to something that isn't at all for adults. I'm also concerned about having way too many adult bodies at this party.
What do you think I should do?
Thanks!!
Edit to add: I was never inviting child free adult friends. I said "we" have a social circle because our guest list is all moms and kids who we've met through our playgroup. We spend a lot of time together.
I appreciate all the helpful info. Thanks
I would do one of two things. Either have something for just family separate and not invite any family to the friends party or invite everyone. If the SIL doesn't want to go to a kids party she wont go. I have been invited to parties that my kids are way too old for but since they where like family we went and the kids had a blast.
I used to have two parties one for my kid’s friends and one for family.
I would do two events. I would have relatives over for dinner and cake at my house. I'd make something easy like chili and salad or make your own fajitas bar. Then I'd make a large sheet cake for after dinner. I would also have a 2nd party - I'd let my child pick a handful of friends to have a "kid party" at the party place. I personally wouldn't make my adult friends go to a 3 year old party...unless they also have a little one my 3 year old is good buddies with and we invite their child to the kid party. Good luck w your planning!
Do 2 events. The party can be for you friends. Then do a pot luck for the family.
"Solid circle of friends" - you mean YOUR friends?
Adult friends without children do not need an invitation to a toddler's birthday party.
Have one party for the child and his child friends, and then if you want a separate party for relatives to celebrate.
Do your husband's siblings and parents live nearby? You said that the oldest SIL llives an hour away. How about the others?
Is your husband's family the kind of people who really want to be at every birthday? Do they attend school functions like plays?
Just remember, it's ok to keep things simple. And also remember, you're establishing a precedent here. Birthday parties can get more and more expensive, and more and more involved.
Maybe for the 3rd and 4th and 7th birthdays, just keep things very simple. Have a cake at your house and just tell people they're welcome to drop by from 2 - 4 pm, for example. Give your birthday boy a gift from your family, and if others bring gifts, that's extra nice.
Consider telling all your in-laws that you're just having a very relaxed cake and punch, no elaborate games or bounce houses, and that they're as welcome as anyone to drop by.
Then, save these big parties, where everyone is invited, and you schedule the event at a party place or an ice rink or a bowling alley, for years 5, 10, 15.
i do 2 events, a cake and ice cream adults thing at my house (open house style on the childs bday so anyone can come celebrate when they can and they can stay for 5 minutes or 5 hours its their choice) but for the kids i do a kid thing and only invite the ones with kids. everyone in the family knows about both parties, and is welcome to show up at whichever they want to.
Our parties at places like that are for friends only. For family, we celebrate at the nearest holiday.
A very large party with both family and friends, or two birthday parties, is too much for 3 year old, in my opinion. I would make a choice, family party OR friends party, not both. If you have a family party, I'd invite everyone, including all the cousins. If some choose not to come or aren't available, that's OK. I would not make assumptions and exclude any family members. If you have a "friend" party, keep it to just the playgroup. He is 3, so a small group is best. He will have years ahead of him to develop his own friendships in school, activities, neighborhood, etc. when he can take over the decisions about which people he wants to spend his birthday with.
Family should come before friends.
Hi! Omg been there. Just invite all & let them decide. You will drive yourself nuts year after year with the parties. And then it takes away from the happiness of celebrating it. Do a theme your child likes and all else will decide if it's something there child is into. At least you invited them. You can always do family at your house
for birthday cake! Just family. Then the friends party out! Enjoy & best to you!!
