Whining Preschooler

Do not acknowledge every little bump. She is getting what she wants attention. They are smart little critters.

You could always just say "oops, you feel down," and then go back to whatever you were doing. I do this with my son that always likes kisses. he no longer needs kisses from mom. Know he just needs to tell me. I do a quick empathy statement, and then move on.

Do ignore all whining, and say "I don't speak whinese, can you say that again in a normal voice."

I agree that she's getting too much attention, if she's taking it "over the top" and turning it into a lot of whining. Try saying, "You're okay" or "Mommy's busy but you can kiss it yourself if you want to." If you're working or cooking or on the phone, you have have a "bleeding" rule. I always had that with my son - unless you're bleeding or on fire, don't interrupt me. If he kept at it, I suggested he go to his room to rest his boo-boo and come back down when he felt better. At 4, they can learn that things get better in time and that the Mommy kisses aren't so essential for every single thing.

You just have to be consistent in not giving her as much attention - stop short of ignoring her, of course, just scale way back.

Ask her if she needs you to call the Whaaaaa-mbulance!

Just treat the boo boos as trivial and nothing to worry about.
When our son was learning to walk he'd come home from day care with a lot of bruises and it worried me.
Then one day I came to pick him up and he was walking into the wall, falling down, laughing, then getting up to do it some more.
He and his friend were having a jolly time playing bumper cars.
He seldom needed his boo boos kissed.

Ugh, whining, makes my ears bleed.

First of all if you witness a fall or a trip whatever, stay extremely calm and just say, "Uh oh..looks like you tripped." Or "Uh oh, bumped your head.. "And then smile or be very still and say, "You look just fine," and then the big distraction,

Either start a conversation about something, or quickly ask her to assist you in some activity, or tell her you lost something on the ground could she help you find it.. "Oh look at that cute dog!" Just think of something..

If the whining is a way for her to get something, NEVER give her anything she whines for. Tell her, "I do not understand whining." Or "I need to hear your regular voice., " " I do not give people things when the whine"

If it starts to turn into a meltdown, send her to her room or somewhere to sit and tell her, You need to stay here and rest until you can speak with out whining.

It took some time to get our daughter and all of the other girls in the neighborhood to quit whining, be we all stayed strong and consistent..
Vigilance!

Sometimes, I used to whine back to our daughter to show her it was not fun to listen to whining. Or we would have whining contest to see who could whine the best.. I always won. I am Queen of the whining.

I told my boys that they shouldn't cry unless there was blood or bone. Tell her the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Explain that if she cries when she really isn't hurt that you won't know when she really is hurt and needs help. Stop giving her attention when she whines. Tell her mommy kisses are for real injuries.

I tell my kiddo that the "owie" will have to be cut off and ask him for a scalpel - he pretends to hand me one and I "cut" the offending portion off, which makes him laugh and then it's all forgotten.

I agree with Patty K. You are giving her the attention she is seeking. Next time she comes to you crying like the world is ending because of something very small, just kind of blow it off. "Oh yeah. I do see that. You're fine." and move on.

Don't give her the attention. It's totally an attention grab. Don't humor it.

Of course you love your daughter!

Think about exactly what happens when she moans and groans. Do you respond by commiserating with her about her ouchie? Is there a lot of conversation about it? Start responding with no more than, "Oh, did you get a bump? You're not bleeding, are you? Good. You're fine. High five!" At that point you do a long-distance high five. Don't get up and go to her. Use your regular voice, not your "Oh, poor you" voice, and don't respond to any whining on her part. That could be a first step in the right direction.

Concentrate on how much your daughter is growing up, not on what others may or may not think of her. A lot of children go through this sort of thing, and they come out of it fine.

Mommy kisses? Great for other times!

She's four. I would kiss every boo boo, I promise she wont be calling you from school to come and kiss every bump/scratch etc. I would nix the whiny voice with the same constant comeback. "Whaaat? what are you saying? I cant understand you. Nope sorry I have no idea what you're saying" and walk away.

Some children are more sensitive than others. While my son doesn't react to physical bumps like that, he does react to emotional "bumps". Sometimes those sensitivities are real-- one of my sons has a sensory disorder, so what feels like an annoyance to me is a massive personal blow to him. For some children this can be physical sensitivity. She may grow out of it, but if she has always been that way she may just feel everything in a magnified way. I would find out if she her senses are more acute or if she is more dramatic. If it is behavioral you can work on that, but if she actually has a heightened sense of touch then your approach would be much different.

I would do this.. On a day when she has had a crying spell or even a few, that night when you are tucking her into bed, (this is a time when kids are more relaxed and more apt to talk.) Gently ask her about when you gets upset what she is feeling. Sometimes we think a kid, let alone an adult is upset about something trivial , and sometimes they are... However, in some cases, there is an underlying issue. Maybe getting hurt really scares.. and to her feels much bigger than it is. Also, she may be lacking in self-confidence which is why she needs that mommy kiss..
I suspect something more may be going on.. maybe if you nudge her into talking more about her feelings as oppose to crying it out, she can begin to change her behavior, she just may someone to show her how to do it..
how many adults have behaviors that we don't like and yet... those same adults keep acting out.. UNTIL eventually they learn a new set of skills.. well some them :) ha

good luck

I don't know what to do about it, but I have the same issue with my 7 yo, 2nd grader. He's also a boy, so the cry-baby thing does not go over well with peers and I've heard people call him a cry baby before.

I'll usually look (glance) at the "boo boo" comment it's not bleeding and then move on, unless of course it is serious, like a finger slammed in the door or something, then we go all out. I figure he just wants attention, so I give it in plenty of other ways.

I've gotten the cold stare from on-lookers who think I'm a terrible mom because I'm not coddling my screaming, oh so in pain child who I think makes up half of his owies. I'm afraid if I coddle him, it will make it even worse. It's irritating at best, and I hope he grows out of it.

I'm going to read the rest of the posts to see if they have any ideas. Thanks for the question.

Totally agree with Patty K. Time to scale down the attention- she doesn't need a 'mommy kiss' every time she gets a bump. Unless there is blood, tell her she is fine and change the subject.