Whinning Every Morning..! !

How about letting her get dressed with you! Picking out clothes together the night before and then making it a Mommy and me getting ready to go vs. having a 3 1/2 year old try to be very independent. I bet if you guys get ready together at this point you will have a much happier am.

Hi M., maybe you can try to adjust her bedtime and naptime schedule. She might not be getting enough sleep which leads her to be cranky in the morning. She might need an earlier bedtime and longer naps in the day. Hope it works out for you.

hi M.-
i have a 3 year old boy and although i have not experienced what you are talking about, i have friends who have. i would recommend buying and reading the Super Nanny book. There is a whole chapter on getting dressed and out the door and great advice on how to make it work. i have used her advice with other problems and what she says really works and makes sense! Good luck.

hi,
hope this can be of help,,remember she is 3 ...start the day with her, help her get dressed first..she's 3 , she need not understand anything, she is a child, she's 3..sure it sounds like you need to get to work or something,,you will find time to touch up your self with makeup etc..before you leave your car..and never ask a child if they are wanting to make you mad, you get what you give, especially with little ones, and all of the hardship will pass, then there will be something new, ha ha,,have a sense of humour, this is her childhood, and it is not forever..take care...

Everybody is on their own rhythm and it possible your daughter is just not a morning person. Also, 3 is still very young. My suggestion: get up[ a few minutes earlier so you have time to get yourself ready. Then when she gets up she has more of your attention and it amazing when kids have their parents' focus, the whining stops. I get up an hour before my kids because I need that time alone and just have cup of coffee and get myself together, uninterrupted. By the time my kids get up, I am ready for ANYTHING!!

My daughter is 5 and I still dress her most days. If she can do it without too much frustration, fine, but to save my sanity, I figure she'll learn to dress herself before she goes to college. :D

As for starting off your day better, I'd recommend waking up before her and getting ready yourself (I wake up at 5:20am nowadays). That way most of my attention is on my daughter when she wakes up. That is all kids want -- our attention. :D It really goes a long way. Good luck!

Here is my future sister-in-law's solution to this. She has a 7-year-old daughter that is the same way. After bath at night, instead of putting PJs on, her mom has her put her clothes for the next morning on and she sleeps in them. This avoids the hassle of getting dress in the morning, they are not late to school or work anymore, and sleeping in clothes is not going to harm the child. She will probably grow out of it. What I had to do ONE time when my own daughter was 4 was take her to daycare IN her PJs. She couldn't believe I would actually do it. Once we got to the parking lot, she got dressed really fast and never complained again.

Rather than having her get dressed by herself, how about if you make it a Mommy and daughter project? You can have that be your special time together rather than doing it separately in separate rooms....It sounds to me like she wants you with her and doesn't know how to say that to you. After she is dressed she can come in your room and help you get dressed. It sounds to me like she just wants to be with you! At 3 years old (I have a 5 1/2 year old boy and am 52 years old), she doesn't know what she is saying when she says that she likes making Mommy mad. One thing that I do with my son when he acts up is to stop everything for a moment and hold him in my arms and just love him. A lot of the time it is only that he wants a hug or he is frustrated about something and doesn't have the language to say what he wants.

I hope this helps and that you have a wonderful holiday season.

Blessings to you.

Hi M.,
I'm no expert but here goes my advice to you. It seems your morning starts really early, don't know what your situation is and if you have to drop her off at school or daycare??? Not sure. Maybe she's not getting enough sleep??? I have 3 girls the exact same age as yours, they go to school every day and we get them up at 7:20A, we do help them get dressed just because it is 3 of them. We put them to bed at 7:30p every night, by the time they're actually asleep it is 745-750p. They get almost 12 hours of sleep and still some mornings they're tired. Don't know what your routine is the night before and in the mornings, but try to have her pick her clothes the night before (you may already do this). She can leave her little pile of clothes ready for the following day. This may help a bit. In the morning, maybe help her take off her pj's and then she can do the rest. Ask her the night before if she wants you to help her taking off her pjs or putting on her shirt, maybe this way she'll look forward to your time with her in the am. Then again, it may be she's just not a morning person (I'm like that) and this just may be a struggle you're going to have to endure for a long time =). Anyway, hope this little advice helps.

M.,
My 3 1/2 year old sone does exactly the same thing when he wakes up. I figured out if I just hold him for a few minutes when he first gets up then he is fine for the rest of the time. I hope this helps.

C. B

The best advice that I can give you is to read the book "Setting Limits With Your Strong Willed Child" http://www.amazon.com/Setting-Limits-Your-Strong-Willed-C... It is by far the best book I read on parenting. It's also a quick and easy read.

Best wishes
J.

It sounds like you may be unintentionally reinforcing this behavior in your daughter. Also, check your expectations of her behavior. If you expect resistance, you are likely going to get resistance. Kids are wonderful readers of our body language and moods and will mirror them in response! She doesn't "make" Mommy mad. Nobody is in control of another's emotional responses. It is likely you feel rushed to get to work on time and thus may be responding to her impatiently. This creates a cycle of her responding to you in a negative manner, which in turn probably doesn't alleviate your feeling of impatience and increasing level of frustration with the situation.

It may be helpful to lay out her clothes for her the night before. Help her get dressed in your room alongside you while you are getting dressed so you can help her when she gets stuck...remember, she is still trying to learn to master such self-care and should not be treated as if she was born knowing how to dress herself as an older child would.

Set your alarm 15-30 minutes early to give you and she time to get ready without feeling rushed, and thus without increasing negative feelings mounting as a result. You will also need to go to bed earlier to ensure everyone (you included) are rested so that nerves aren't easily rattled.

Also, check yourself in how you are modeling handling your own level of frustration through monitoring your tone of voice, volume of voice, body language, and how you speak to your daughter. If you speak disrespectfully to her because you are angry, you will most definitely get that in return!

Some kids whine, so don't pay any attention to it. Just interact with your daughter as if she isn't whining and that should eventually stop.

In addition, make sure you are following through on what you say you are going to do and that when you discipline your daughter (this is a different concept than punishing), you are giving consequences to her behavior that are logical and apply to whatever rule she is breaking at the moment.

It might be helpful to consult with a professional therapist to help you learn to change your behavior so that your daughter's changes also as a result.

Good luck!
Sincerely,
S. M. Wolf, M.A., MFT

I have the same issues with one of my twins. When he whines I tell him I cannot understand what he is saying and ask him to speak in a normal voice. If he continues I just simply say I'm sorry but I really cannot understand you and walk away from him. I will not respond to him after that until the whinning stops. I also use santa claus, the easter bunny, the halloween pumpkin and whatever other up coming holiday by saying "I bet Santa is listening to you right now." If there are no holidays I say Tinkerbelle because they think she is real. For some reason they will behave for these make believe beings but not for me. They actually think lightning bugs and dragon flies are Tinkerbelle and sometimes Tinkerbelle will leave them a little surprise for being good like a piece of chocolate or a sticker. Good luck!

I'll admit that I don't have a kid that big yet, but I did teach slightly older kids. I'm thinking part of the problem may be that even though you know she can, under the best cirucmstances, get herself ready, she is just too young to be able to deal with that much independence every morning. She gets too frustrated. Since negative discipline isn't working, do you think you could find a way to get dressed together, maybe bring her and her clothes to your room? Or make it a game somehow? Maybe try extra hard to give big smiles and joke around? I know I am not a morning person myself but I force myself to be cheerful around the kid so I don't have 2 bad moods to deal with. I know 3 can be a frustrating age. Good luck!

I believe children behave certain ways for a reason. My guess is that she wants and needs your attention and help to get ready in the morning. It may be expecting too much for her to do that all on her own. She needs your love, support and attention and she will try to get it anyway she can whether it's negative or postive attention. A pattern of negative attention has been happening. I would suggest being with her, giving her your support and loving attention first to help her get ready and then let her watch while you get ready. If you are separated during the day this morning time may be crucial to take and make as bonding interactive time as much as possible, so that she can feel secure in your connection with her. Good luck.

Hi M.,

Whining is not fun. It gets on everyone's nerves & it's hard to stay calm when you're hearing that noise, but staying calm is exactly what you need to do to get your message across to your daughter. I suggest that you tell her that you can not understand her when she is whining, and then don't respond to her until she speaks to you in her normal voice. Right now, she knows that she is in control of your reactions to her whining because she sees you get upset every time she does it, and that gives her a feeling of power. If you stay calm & don't respond at all, it will take away her power & whining will not be as effective a tool for her anymore, and she will eventually give it up. You can also give her some of the power that she is seeking in other, more positive areas. For instance, if you still pick out her clothes, you can take out 2 or 3 outfits & let her choose which one she will wear. Tell her that if she is not dressed by the time you are ready for the next activity, you will dress her & you will get to pick the outfit. If she is easily distracted, it might be helpful to give her a 10 minute warning to give her time to refocus before you come in and dress her. Just tell her, "It will be time (for breakfast or to go, or whatever you're going to do next) in 10 minutes. If you are not done getting dressed by then, I will come and help you. If she whines at you at this time, just keep ignoring her until she uses her regular voice. If she asks nicely for help getting something on, see if you can calmly talk her through it rather than stopping your routine to help her. If it helps, you could listen to some music while getting ready to help keep you in a happy & calm mood & lesson your tension while you wait for her to stop whining. Also, go to the library & check out books about Child Development,Parenting, and Positive Discipline. Once you understand the reasons behind your daughter's behavior & get some effective tools of your own to use, you will be able to relate to her more easily & strengthen your bond.

C. : )

I know it's not easy. BUT... do keep in mind, that this is the "terrible 3's." Yes, people think "terrible 2's"...but it does not end here. This "phase" of development actually goes on through 3, and 4 years of age. Please do not think it's only "your" daughter who is behaving this way. It's a developmental growth aspect, they are growing emotionally, cognitively etc., developing their sense of self and social skills etc. Yes, they get whiny about their clothes, and very opinionated. Yes, nothing will seem to work. They need, and are trying to have "control" over their surroundings and their self. They are practicing self expression and "choosing" their own things. A good site, or magazine on this topic is "Parent's" magazine.... their website: www.parents.com You will see that you are not alone in this. Sure, you need to "correct" or encourage ways of redirecting their behavior. For my daughter, using humor in redirecting her, really works. If she is fussy about what to wear and not going along with what I want... I make a joke or make the situation funny and turn it around, so that it de-flates the irritations of it, and then it gets her mode of thinking off to a more positive outcome. Also, they need structure and routine... telling them "ahead" of time what you expect or would like them to do. Children need time to "digest" what is told to them sometimes...and then they may be more receptive to what is expected. Also, it's about "picking your battles..." Sometimes my daughter would insist on wearing her pajamas to go out. So, to me, I thought.. well okay then, I will let her try that. So out we went with her pajamas on. Then, (on her own), she saw and realized that other's were not wearing their pajamas to the mall... and then "SHE" realized, that it's not such a good idea. Next time, she decided to wear another outfit. They learn things through trial and error too. SOMETIMES, we need to "allow" them to do that, in order to grow. Certainly, at this age, they like to "choose" their own clothes and can be fussy about it and don't know "how" to express themselves... thus, they wig out and get tantrum-y. I've gently coached my daughter in how to express her "dis-satisfaction" with her clothes and in getting dressed...sometimes nothing was perfect enough. But, through talking it out, and "hearing" what she was saying... she felt better, just knowing that she was "heard" and then it changed the mood of the situation. Versus, getting into an "argument" vicious cycle about it and going back and forth with her about it. With my daughter too, she didn't like to be "rushed" when getting ready... so I would tell her WAY ahead of time to get ready, then at her pace she did, without getting irritated about it... and then by the time we had to leave, it was much more relaxed and she would be ready and tell me "Mommy hurry we have to go..." Other times, my daughter wanted me to just "be there" while she got dressed and ready... she just wanted company and enjoyed this time as it was her time to "chit-chat" with me and "talk story" with Mommy. This was something I learned from HER. If I opened my mind, and my ear and eyes to her... I really saw what she needed... and then could respond in a more constructive manner. So I would make time in the morning, after getting myself ready, to keep her company while she got ready. It was a nice bonding time as well. Try different approaches... instead of just thinking of "disciplining" approaches. Sometimes, just creative solutions and tweaking your routines can help. Little girls are very precocious and they will learn. It is an age developmental thing as well. Just remember that. In my daughter's preschool... all the Mom's said their daughters were the SAME way. Good luck.
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

Hi, my oldest son had a hard time with transition every morning for years. I got him on a very strict schedule. Now he knows what to expect every morning and nothing is a surprise. No more Mr. Grumpy, no crying, and no whinning.

He is 7 yrs. old and goes to bed every night including most weekends at 8 pm and he wakes at 6:30am. It's gotten much easier.

It has worked, I hope this was helpful.

She sounds like low in serotonin levels...give her some St. john's Wort it helps 3 drops twice a day....I do that with my2 and 4 year olds, they stopped whinning and are two happy boys!!! I buy Nature's Answer dropper (w/ no alcohol) at any health food store!!! or just google it on line!!! And I even take it my self... it is a good natural way to perk us up, when so much is going on!!! Love, G.. :0)
P.S. Is she sleeping well?!!! if not add some 5-HTP too!!!

Is there something that she loves to do?

My son likes to watch his Little Einstein. I dress myself, get breakfast ready and things that need to go into the car into the car. Then I get Cole up and say do you want to watch little einstein. He take less then a min to wake up and walk out to the tv (I have it running already) then I get him dressed in front of it and then I give him his ceral in the chair in front of the tv. I have to actually wake him up 1/2hour before we leave the house. After the show we are out of the door. If I don't he ask to watch another one.
(I know promoting TV is not the best but its the only time he really watches it because he goes to school (No tv) then when he gets home we play outside until I make dinner then he plays with his toys and after dinner bath play toys read and then maybe once in a great while tv)

It doesn't have to be tv but you can do something else to help her in get motivated in the morning. You can also use awared chart and if she goes 6 days with out whining give her something special. For potty training we gave my son after 30 days of shi shi in the potty Chucke e cheese. Special day like go to the beach, get ice cream, play at the park something like that.

Hope this helps
F.

Dear M., I also have a 3 1/2 year old boy that gives me a hard time sometimes when things need to be done quickly. I find that simply giving him more attention helps. I think your daughter is probably wanting you to help her out. After all 3 1/2 is still very young. I am not sure if your daughter goes to daycare or preschool? But she is probably missing you and does not want to make you mad. When my son and daughter frustrate me I try to think of when I was that age. How would you have wanted your mom to get you ready in the morning? I know it's hard but try for a week and see how it goes. Good luck!

I would try getting up a little earlier in the morning so it's not a rush to get ready. My son is 2 years old, but he gets up with enough time to watch a little Elmo and drink a cup of milk before we get him dressed. I think this help both of us not be so stressed to get ready and out the door.
Best of luck.

Hi M.,
My 4 year old son used to take forever getting dressed, I would be so frustrated that I would finally step in and finish dressing him. As he got older and in school I discovered that although he was incredibly bright he had several learning disorders, one of them having to do with sequencing. Getting dressed was very difficult for him because of the sequencing. Have you watched her dress herself, does it seem like she's a bit confused or stressed? What you might want to do is lay out her clothes and sing songs like "First we put our socks on Oh yeah, then we put our jeans on Oh yeah..." Make it a game. You could have a race... Let's see who can get dressed the fastest... talking your way through it. Oh no, I think she's gonna beat me.... she's got her socks on. I better hurry.

Another question, how many hours sleep is she getting? She may be just tired, that makes us all cranky. She may just be a slow mover in the morning, some people are like that. Rather than get frustrated and angry you could dress her and as you are doing it, tell her how much you love her, and what a gift she is to you. She won't be three forever, and I'm thinking you're on a pretty tight schedule and that makes it more important for her to "just do what I tell you". You might need to take a couple steps back and see how you can rearrange your schedule so you're not so stressed. You can find ways of making her feel like a good little girl. Say things like "Whose the best little girl in the whole wide world? and then sing her name. You can change the atmosphere in your home. You can make her feel so good about herself, and it will do wonders for you too.

M.,

I can relate. My daughter cried every day for the first 8 years of her life! Well, it seemed that way anyway.

Your daughter is simply doing what she knows will get your attention. She's at an age where she might like to have some choices, but she's also old enough to start learning some consequences for her choices. She definitely understands that her behavior has a payoff - she gets mommy's full attention. But there's positive attention, and then there's negative attention. So far she's latched on to the negative. Try ignoring her whining, and explain to her that mommy can't help her when she whines, but would love to help her if she asks nicely. Also, offering her a reward for getting herself dressed on time without whining each morning might help. Make the reward something she really values - extra reading time, xtra bubbles in the tub, a favorite tv show. But don't make her wait too long for the reward or it won't connect. If she does a good thing on Monday morning, but has to wait until Friday - she won't understand that Friday's reward goes all the way back to Monday's behavior. Give the reward the same day, or that evening. As she learns this new system and when she's a bit older, you can have her save up points for a bigger reward - a day at the park, a special play date, go out for ice cream, or something else you enjoy doing together.

Have fun!

The more of a reaction you show the more she will do it. IT is totally an attention thing. You are off doing your own thing and she is left to do it by herself. I think at 3 1/2 they aren't capable of understanding it is time to get ready so we can get out the door on time. Keep your cool and make it a game. "Who can get dressed faster?!" Kids respond to fun. The more you punish her and show a reaction the more she will act out. After awhile she will mature a little and know what she needs to do. Allow plenty of time.

Here's a tip that has worked for me in the past. The night before the two of you can make a game of picking out her clothes for the next day. Make sure you offer her an opportunity to choose what she gets to wear. For example: this dress or this one (keeping in mind that too many choices all at once can lead to frustrations) In the morning try making it a game of which princess can get ready the fastest (you or her) If that doesn't work you may need to just dress her yourself when you are already dressed. Reward her behavior immediately after she has accomplished the first task successfully (no whining, fighting, etc) Also you can never spoil a child with too many hugs, kisses and words of encouragement, you can however spoil them with too much stuff. If you hug her and praise her every time she does something good eventually she will make the connection that that is the kind if attention she wants. Children will do anything to get our attention. lol! ... even when it's not funny

Dear M.,

I also have a 3.5 year old who can be quite whiny sometimes. Same as your daughter, she will sit and whine the entire time I'm getting ready in the morning even though she is perfectly capable of getting herself dressed.

What I've found helpful is to take a moment together with her BEFORE starting the mad rush of the day. Even 5 minutes spent holding her in my arms and cuddling, or reading a short book, or just being silly together, seems to make her feel loved and close to me so that she is then happy to get herself dressed while I get ready.

I think the children really appreciate it when you get down on their level, look right into their eyes, and bond with them for even a few moments. The whining seems to be a reaction, at least in our case, to me rushing around all the time instead of being present with my daughter in the moment.

Thanks for reminding me about this important fact! And good luck to you!

I have 2 3 1/2 year olds (one boy, one girl), so I can relate. First, I would say - don't ask your daughter if she wants to make you mad. That's giving her too much power and she knows it. Second, making a 3 year old get up at 6 every morning is reason enough for her to whine - I would whine too, as I'm not a morning person. Is there any way you can modify your schedule so that's not always the routine? Is she getting enough sleeep generally? If you HAVE to get up that early, make sure she gets to bed early too. And try setting out all her clothes for the next day before you go to bed - give her 3 choices of what she can wear the next day. Also, talk to her about it before she goes to bed - what's to be expected and then give her some incentive to do ti - i.e. "if you listen to mommy and we get out of the door by x time, we will do [x special thing] when we get home" - give her something to look forward to. Or serve her her favorite breakfast (hopefully with some nutrition in there!) Also, don't expect her to get herself dressed. Take some time to help her, or let her "help" you get dressed. Work together, not at odds with each other. It sounds like you need to take a few breathers inthe morning and make it less stressful by taking the time to meet some of her needs too. And always remember, she's just 3!

Hi M.,
How about offering her rewards for getting dressed in the mornings. ( maybe, more TV time)or Make it like a game , and see if you both can see who can get dressed first. Of course let her win!. Offer her favorite breakfast or a treat if she gets dressed without whining. And then tell her that it hurts you to have to punish her when she whines, and tell her it makes you sad. Maybe she'll understand what her behavior is doing to you and change it. Good Luck! I think it will change as she gets older.

I am NO expert, but it sounds to me as though she wants your attention in the morning. 3 1/2 is kind of young to do it all alone and she seems to be clearly saying that she is unhappy with this arrangement. It doesn't mean she is spoiled, it just seems like what she needs. Maybe she's whining because she wakes up unhappy. Can there be a compromise, maybe you can agree to help her for the first part and then go off to do your own stuff, or maybe together you and she can come up with a compromise so you both get what you need???

M.,

I have three children (9 girl, 6 girl, 4 boy). Nothing works for me except telling them that my ears cannot hear whinning. When they whine I simply go about my business until they speak to me in a normal voice. The first few days of doing this is a tough one but they catch on pretty quickly.

As for getting her dressed. I would lay out her clothes help her with any item that may be difficult for her and then leave it up to her. If she doesnt dress then take her to school in her pj's. Trust me she'll turn her behavior around quickly.

I have learned to be a no none sence mother and this has worked wonders for me. I take my 3 kids out for dinner and ALWAYS get remarks about how wonderful they behave. It so nice to hear.

K.

Hi M.:
I can definitely relate, but hang in there!

How much sleep is she getting at night? Some kids just aren't morning people...just like my little one. Maybe you need to make sure she gets to bed earlier at night and, to be honest, at 3 1/2 getting herself ready on her own might be a bit much for her. Sounds like you need to allow a little more time in the morning to help her a bit. I think getting some extra sleep for her and just resolving to helping her get dressed in the morning will help things out. Heck, I still have to get my 6 1/2 year old dressed...even though we both know she can do it she's just not a morning person either and it's much easier to just deal. It gives you a little bonus time in for some extra hugs in the morning for you two as well. She is probably looking for a little extra time with you. While she's eating her breakfast is the time that you can be getting yourself ready. OR...you get up, get yourself ready and then get her up and get her ready. I've had to do both strategies in the past.
Good luck to you! I know that it's easy to get overwhelmed and patience is definitely a virtue when it comes to dealing with little ones...make sure to walk away and give yourself a time out if you need one when things are getting out of hand for yourself.
I think if you work on getting her into bed earlier you'll find a little bonus time for yourself as well. The balancing act is difficult, but you'll get the swing of it.
Hang in and contact me whenever you want/need to....
C.

Why does your day start at 6? Are you working?

I would suggest that you try spending some time with her re-connecting before you try to get tasks accomplished. Why don't you hold her on your lap and talk to her for 10 minutes about the plans for the day etc.
You could consider having a "first breakfast" together in your pjs and then getting dressed together an hour or so later. Some people need time to gently wake up. hope this helps

We tell our 3.9yr old son that we don't understand whining and we don't respond until he uses his normal voice (sometimes this can take several minutes, which feels like an eternity). Also, you could try starting the morning with something she enjoys more, like reading a book or eating breakfast, and delay getting dressed until later. We've also had races to see who can get dressed fastest. For a while I also put him in his room and told him he couldn't come out until he was dressed. It took about a week, but then he learned to get dressed super-fast so he could come out and play. Good luck! and remember, this too shall pass.

M., I have 3 children, 2 boys and 1 girl. My daughter is 4, she is the biggest whinner i have ever seen in my life. When i tell the boys to do something they do it, with her its all about how much she can whine. I have tried everything too, she whines to the point where sometimes she is so stubborn and pees in her pants. I tell her shes only hurting herself. Mornings are so hard for us, she is the first one up cause she goes to school first. Here is what i have done, i have figured out, cause she is the only girl, she needs her own space. I have made her a small space in her room so that she can get herself ready in the morning. I gave her a bit of independence, she has her own little mirror and chair, where she can sit down and brush her hair and pick any hair piece. She loves it. Set something up that is only hers, her space, her own little part of the house where she is allowed to do her own thing, brush her hair, i even bought her a little lip gloss, just the little disney princess ones, its just a shiner, now she loves getting up in the morning and getting ready for school.
Good Luck,
A.!

I am so glad I am not alone. I have had one of those mornings and I can relate. My daughter is 3 as well and has a hard time getting up and ready. My day starts at 7. I have found if I wake her up at least 1/2 hr before I leave and let her relax and watch her cartoons, it is much easier on me. I myself am not a morning person so I think she got that from me. It helps to know there are other moms out there going through the same things. Also, Thanks all you moms for all the great advice.

Hi M.,
First of all, your daughter is 3 and still a baby, remember about the terrible two's ? it can continue...
second thought, is she tired? too many children are going to bed too late. They are not little adults. and may need more like 10 hours of sleep.
Third try...does she do this on the weekend? if not, maybe she doesn't want to go where you are taking her..
it's just a thought. does she do this with your husband or anyone else? good luck

I have a three year old who is the same way. I've been assured by everyone that this is normal and stops around 3 1/2 and then things get magical.

One thing I do is give her choices of what she wants to wear. I have found that negotiation always works over discipline. I have a funny book called How to Con Your Kid, which actually helps me a lot. Offering her choices, talking about kids who she admires a lot, telling her if a family member gave the clothes to her, that kind of thing always works over discipline.

My daughter still struggles, refuses to wear her sweaters, wants to only wear rain boots, etc. So I don't sweat the small stuff too much. But I understand your frustration. Getting her to put her shoes on when I get her from school is a battle every day. But, these times just don't last, so try to embrace the magical things about toddler-hood before they're gone. And then have a glass of wine at night!

At 3 the whinning is normal. So is the getting partially dressed part. My son is 4 and still wants helps with parts of his clothing - mostly his socks. He has freakishly wide toes and has a hard time getting his socks on. Just take a step back, breathe, and help her with her clothes. If she's killing you slowly with the whinning and half naked adventures, just take a really big breath, dress her, and go about your business. Don't say anything bad about it. If she managed to get her shirt on or any other article of clothing on by herself praise her until she smiles/giggles/kisses you. It's hard but normal. That's her job, to drive you batty and test her limits. Your job is to discipline her - which is different than punishing. Just remember to discipline is to teach. To punish is to hurt. Try practicing positive discipline and ignore the whinning. It sounds easy, but is hard, sorry. Good luck and remember to breathe!

Are you rushed in the morning? I find that with my almost 3 year old son if I am rushing to get dressed and ready that he takes forever and rebels. Make sure you have lots of time. Also is she sleeping enough? If she is grumpy every morning I would wonder if she is rested enough??? As a teacher I can reccomend a sticker chart. Put a chart in her bedroom or somewhere visible to her. tell her every time she gets ready quickly without whining she gets a sticker. Don't take stickers away, it should be purely positive. After 10 stickers she gets a small present, etc. As far as saying she likes to get you mad- many kids like attention, no matter what kind (positive or negative), I'm sure she knows that it bothers you and gives her some attention and thats why she says it! Try to have some fun time in the morning (even for 5 min) so it is not just hurry up, dress, and get out of the house. Hope some of this helps!

I have the same problem with my 3 1/2 year old daughter. everything is a battle. We figured out that she responds to rewards rather then punishment. So I made a sticker chart, numbered 1 through 10. Every time she is good in the morning she gets to put a sticker on a number. When she has 10 stickers we go to target and she gets a small toy of her choosing. If she is really horrible a sticker comes off the chart. It has really worked for us. And she is learning about doing something in return for something of value. (like working for money) I think some day I may change it to an allowance instead of a toy but that is a couple of years away.

M.,
I'm a mother of two and have been going through the same struggle. Every morning seemed to be a battle. Here's what I'm trying that seems to be helping. We lay out the next day's clothes the night before, so the kids already know what to put on. I give a lot of positive praise each time I notice (while I'm getting ready too) that they have put on pants or shoes by themselves...etc. I also point out "what a big girl" or "big helper" my daughter/or son is now that she/she dressed themself. All the whinning hasnt stopped in my house but it sure has cut down on A LOT of the morning frustration we had just trying to get out and start our day.
Good luck.
P.S. I notice it also helps to point out to grandma or auntie (in front of child) what a big girl she is now that she gets herself ready! Positive praise from others seems to carry alot of weight too!